People in 15 states start petitions to secede from U.S.

[Shasta ODonegal]

I love Snarkyjan's tradeoffs, but the stupid is making me want to move to Canada more than I did before the election. When Tennessee wasn't part of this nonsense, I was hoping for a better outcome. It was too good to last. ::sigh::

[Guest Anonymous]

I love Snarkyjan's tradeoffs, but the stupid is making me want to move to Canada more than I did before the election. When Tennessee wasn't part of this nonsense, I was hoping for a better outcome. It was too good to last. ::sigh::

Many thanks for the kind words, but my true inspiration was courtesy of GolightlyGrrl. Of course, she exercised artistic restraint, a concept I cannot/will not master.

[dpndetfarm]

For anyone who wants to know how much each state gets back per dollar it sends to the feds:

http://www.nemw.org/images/taxburdrank.pdf

My state not only turned bright blue again this election, but we didn't waste our time on any stupid petition and best of all ...

WE HAVE GIRL POWER!!!!!!!!!

[slickcat79]

Lady Lydia's squalling is absolutely adorable.

Hahahaha :lol: It's pretty sad (or hilarious) when even the most brainwashed have noticed that the wonderful outcomes they expected have not come to pass. Maybe in 10-20 years, when the products of quality secular homeschooling start to be realized, we can expect more homeschoolers to be involved in shaping politics on a major level. Until then...

[ILoveJellybeans]

If a homeschooled kid ever managed to become president, it will not be the fundie kind of homeschooling, it will be the secular kind with good quality education, kids who are allowed to go to college and taught by parents not their barely educated 16 year old.

[happy atheist]

There's a counter-petition to deport anyone who signed the secessionist petitions.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petiti ... m/ZbMjcwPf

[Maggie Mae]

Weirdly enough, I got into my bf's truck yesterday and Glen Beck was on the radio talking about this. And for once in my life, I actually agreed with him, and that no one should be signing these petitions. It's not a joke, it's Civil War. And that is bad. People just need to get back to their lives, go to work, pay their bills, and (this is where I stop agreeing) invest in whatever he was peddling. Probably Gold.

But seriously, I can't believe I ended up in agreement with Glenn Beck.

My state has a petition up as well, but only like 5,000 signatures and most are from out of state. We've had a semi active political party for decades now though, apparently there are still people who disagree with us becoming a state in the first place. But we need the US for defense purposes, and for the federal money that many of our rural residents need to survive, like the Post Office. I'm not entirely sure why the US needs us though, other than for strategic placement in the event of a war with Asia. We aren't producing enough oil and natural gas to really make a difference and fish can be farmed elsewhere. We don't have manufacturing.

[SayNoToMullets]

There's a counter-petition to deport anyone who signed the secessionist petitions.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petiti ... m/ZbMjcwPf

If that one came to pass, would Mittens say that those who signed the secessionist petitions "self-deported"?

[SpicyCat]

There's a counter-petition to deport anyone who signed the secessionist petitions.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petiti ... m/ZbMjcwPf

I signed that one, as well as the one to remove the "under God" from the money and pledge, and the one to take away tax-exempt status from churches that preach politics. :)

[Bookworm89]

Please excuse my ignorance of the US but I have to ask: would any of these states be viable on their own? I suspect Colorado might as it has the same appeal as Switzerland - playground of the rich and famous combined with being the training location of every country's Winter Olympic Team. I'm not counting New York, as they didn't initiate it themselves.

Tell me about the other states? Industry? Mining? Oil? Anything that might provide employment and income for the people who live there? If they did secede, what sort of import and export taxes are the rest of you planning to place on goods moving across the borders?

I haven't read the whole thread, so hoping I am not repeating others comments.

I live in a state that thinks it can succeed (they gave that right up when they entered as a state but don't try and tell hard core supporters that). I think if any state would try it would be Texas but people seem to forget that well being a republic might be cool to clain it was a failed endeaver. Also states that talk about suceeding obviously don't read the constitution as it promises a republican form of government to all states within the Union, trying to leave won't work since they were still states and government has a responsibility to them.

Sorry if this isn't coherent (or spell checked) writing this while home with the flu so my mind is a little fuzzy but I wanted to comment anyways.

[YPestis]

The secession thing is a funny side effect of the election. I thought people threatened to flee to Canada after Bush won in 2004 was silly, and I find these secessionists to be just as silly. Our election was open, transparent, and as fair as you can get with an electoral college and 300 million people voting. I feel people who pout and/or declare a miscount are just sore losers---and I'm pointing at both losers from the 2004 and 2012 election! If your candidate didn't win this time, try again in four years. That's the beauty of democracy. We don't elect people for life.

[pomology]

The secession thing is a funny side effect of the election. I thought people threatened to flee to Canada after Bush won in 2004 was silly, and I find these secessionists to be just as silly. Our election was open, transparent, and as fair as you can get with an electoral college and 300 million people voting. I feel people who pout and/or declare a miscount are just sore losers---and I'm pointing at both losers from the 2004 and 2012 election! If your candidate didn't win this time, try again in four years. That's the beauty of democracy. We don't elect people for life.

The one difference between Democrats threatening to leave for Canada in 2004 and Republicans threatening to leave for Canada in 2012 is that Canada has all of the things that Republicans hate about Obama like universal healthcare.

[Palimpsest]

Want to secede? Go ahead. But let's divvy some things up first.

You get Ted Nugent.

We get Bruce Springsteen.

You get Chik-fil-a.

We get Chez Panisse.

You get SOTDRT.

We get the Ivy League.

You get Ann Coulter.

We get Rachel Maddow.

You get morbid obesity, teen pregnancy and a high divorce rate.

We get same sex marriage and stem cell research.

You get Michelle Duggar.

We get Michelle Obama.

You get denim frumpers.

We get cashmere sweaters.

:clap: :clap:

I just got sent this in my email. Not sure where it originated and my apologies in advance to Enlightened FJers living in the Red States.

Enlightened States of America

Dear Red States:

We’re ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we’ve decided we’re leaving.

We in the Blue States intend to form our own country .

In case you aren’t aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss. We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulphur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Princeton, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We’re taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizen of the Enlightened States of America

[shesinsane]

This seccessionist nonsense has brought a lot of attention to petitions.whitehouse.gov. Apparently the White House has removed the petition to "Peacefully grant the people of the United States of America to have Grover Norquist be brought forth in chains and put in a public pillory. Once Grover Norquist has been secured, anyone who wishes will be allowed to punch him once, and only once, square in the dick."

However, "United States Government recognition that Israel authored the 9/11 Terror attacks" is still up there (though it's only got about 300 signatures), as is "Establish new legal system of motorcycle riding "Judges" who serve as police, judge, jury, and executioner all in one," "Allow the city of El Paso to secede from the state of Texas. El Paso is tired of being a second class city within Texas," and "Legally recognize Westboro Baptist Church as a hate group."

[Kitty]

I don't think granting anyone's wish to see someone chained, pilloried, and punched in the dick is exactly peaceful...

[YPestis]

The one difference between Democrats threatening to leave for Canada in 2004 and Republicans threatening to leave for Canada in 2012 is that Canada has all of the things that Republicans hate about Obama like universal healthcare.

Well, I think that's why we have secessionists this year rather than the "I'm going to Canada" crowd. Conservatives upset with the election know that venturing to other developed nation would be even more liberal than the US (universal healthcare, relaxed abortion rules, gun control), so they focus on creating their own paradise in their state. The ironic thing is those red states that want to secede take more federal dollars than they put out. I bet many would be in for a surprise when they find out the real bill for their health care and education.

[J'ean Skirt]

I don't think granting anyone's wish to see someone chained, pilloried, and punched in the dick is exactly peaceful...

The White House removed that petition yesterday.

I think that was their only rational response.

But I did get a laugh out of the petition.

[pomology]

Well, I think that's why we have secessionists this year rather than the "I'm going to Canada" crowd. Conservatives upset with the election know that venturing to other developed nation would be even more liberal than the US (universal healthcare, relaxed abortion rules, gun control), so they focus on creating their own paradise in their state. The ironic thing is those red states that want to secede take more federal dollars than they put out. I bet many would be in for a surprise when they find out the real bill for their health care and education.

There are plenty of people who threatened to go to Canada, Australia, etc.

[YPestis]

There are plenty of people who threatened to go to Canada, Australia, etc.

Not as many as in 2004 when Bush won. I think upset voters have split between going abroad and seceding. I suspect all the health care talk has brought it to people's attention that Canada and other developed nations have nationalized health care and many other socially progressive policies. It probably turned some people off from wanting to immigrate there this election. I think secession is a reaction to the idea that they can't escape to an even more socially conservative nation than the US without a noticeable drop in their quality of life.

[RosyDaisy]

I think secession is a reaction to the idea that they can't escape to an even more socially conservative nation than the US without a noticeable drop in their quality of life.

As if they could create a their own nation without a noticeable drop in their quality of life.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I could do this all day.

You get half-term governor and one of the worst VP candidates ever, Sarah Palin.

We get Ivy League educated lawyer, first lady, US Senator, strong Presidential candidate and Secretary of State, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

You get tater tot casserole.

We get wonderful cuisines from places like France, Thailand, Ethiopia, Italy, the Middle East, Japan, India, etc.

You get Chris Jeub.

We get Chris Colfer.

You get Clint Eastwood arguing with an empty chair.

We get Gabrielle Giffords reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

You get Bristol Palin.

We get Chelsea Clinton.

You get severely closeted men.

We get out and proud men like Anderson Cooper, Ricky Martin, Elton John, Frank Ocean, Don Lemon, Matt Bomer, Sean Hayes, Nathan Lane, Michael Stipe, George Michael and Zachary Quinto.

You get Jan Brewer, Michele Bachmann and Virginia Foxx.

We get Tammy Baldwin, Tammy Duckworth and Elizabeth Warren.

You get the Koch Brothers and the Tea Party.

We get Patriotic Millionaires for Fiscal Responsibility.

[Anxious Girl]

Christian fundies and people who think that "religions' rights" trump everybody else's; if you don't like how America is progressing, go create your own Christian micronation complete with Biblical laws that everybody must abher to. It includes different currency, a different calandar, a different diet, different languages that cannot include English if you're sticking to Biblical times, fasting, eating only specific foods, no handouts, primeveal medicine only, sacrifice of "handouts" (animals and crops and whatever else God asks for that you need to survive on), slavery, stoning and no modern technology such as electronics and the internet. Also, temples and no Churches, 'cause that's how Jesus did it. Come back to us and tell us how it was in 8 years. This will prove how morally superior you are to everybody else. Remember, no cherry picking.

[Guest Anonymous]

This could be a better deal for us than they realize:

They get chickenetti, we get fettucine carbonara

They get the Creation Museum, we get the Smithsonian

They get Mountain Dew, we get Perrier Jouet

They get Thomas Kinkade, we get Georgia O'Keeffe

They get Doug Phillios (is a TOOL), we get Desmond Tutu

They get "The Christmas Shoes", we get Handel's "Messiah"

They get Paul Ryan, we get Bernie Sanders

They get sneakers, we get Jimmy Choo

[Sumeri]

They get "The Christmas Shoes", we get Handel's "Messiah"

*snort*

[Arete]

They get a world lit only be fire, we get the Hayden Planetarium.

They get Chick-Fil-A, we ethnic food trucks.

They get the Passion Plays, we get Broadway.

They get to keep the hillbillies, we get to keep the hippies.