Why be out bummin candy tonight when you can be in church...

[0 kids n not countin]

Courtesy of a frickin' fundie on Facebook

There are way too many good churches having meeting tonight for you to be dressed up like Hannah Alabama and Jack the Dipper out bummin candy like a homeless person tonight, lol. Come on out to Oconee Baptist (my church back home) or Bible Baptist up here in Rossvile Ga for a great time tonight in THE Spirit! God has been good! If you get home in time for trick-or-treaters be sure to stuff them candy bags with gospel tracts! Cease the moment!!

I'd be happier getting a rock like Charlie Brown used to get! ;)

[BelieveinScience]

I have apeople posting about how they're celebrating reformation day today. (same person as the ungodly pumpkin people).

And yes stuffing tracts in kids candy bags is just an awesome idea.

[Loveday]

"Cease the moment."

Now that's a good idea!

[Deleted11]

If someone were to stuff gospel tracts in my candy bag, they would've gotten an egg to the front door. :hand:

[GeoBQn]

That status sounds like a church employee spent 30 minutes making a painstaking attempt to write in a way that sounded "hip" and "rad."

[MarthaMarcyMayMarlen]

"Cease the moment."

Now that's a good idea!

I noticed that too. Maybe if they spent a little less time at church and more time reading a book other than the bible....

[Emme]

I noticed that too. Maybe if they spent a little less time at church and more time reading a book other than the bible....

My halloween is now complete. a dumbass fundy has officially unknowingly instructed her people to put the kibosh on hating on halloween!

[curlykate]

My halloween is now complete. a dumbass fundy has officially unknowingly instructed her people to put the kibosh on hating on halloween!

:lol: :clap:

Too freakin hilarious! They should all take this advice!!

[smores]

Hannah Montana hasn't been cool for like 5 years, and who is Jack the Dipper? Does he dip candles? Strawberries into chocolate? I MUST KNOW!

ETA: Also, how would one dress up as Jack the Ripper if no one knows what he looks like?

[0 kids n not countin]

It's a fundie guy, not girl, who posted this.

[rock_girl]

Oh come on. Everyone knows who Hannah Montana is. It doesn't matter what rock you've been living under, because the character pretty much took over the tween market for a good four years. Even rock dwellers had contact with the odd tween, or the parent of a tween wanting to rant about how awful the music is and how they want to stab their eardrums every single time it's played.

Bad, bad, bad writing. Totally seconding the idea that some sad sack spent a good 30 minutes composing that dreck. Not hip, not youthful, and they actually expect kids to give up free sweets and go to church? Seriously? My god.

[Closed Womb]

One of my clients (a doctor) used to have anti-Halloween tracts in her office -- right next to the pamphlets on medical conditions. Hmm, I'll take the info on back pain and my eternal soul. Thanks doc!

If you change up a few words, it is the same mantra for New Year's Eve. Why be out celebrating, when you can be at some awesome watch night service.

[homeschoolmomma1]

We had trick or treating on Sunday. We were in Church tonight for Mass. All Saints Day is tomorrow. We don't hand out tracks or say Halloween is evil though... Now we are eatting candy and junk and watching Hocus Pocus in our pjs. Wacky Catholics we are :)

[Anxious Girl]

Why would I want to listen to a bigoted priest drawl the gospel and then preach all excitedly about how we should behave when they don't do it themselves? Oh, wait, that's because most Churches remind their followers that homophobia is a sin, but that misogynism, and sexism iare a-ok to keep believers in when it's really keeping most of them out? That's not an exciting way to spend Halloween for me, it's a boring and mansplaining way to spend Halloween in my opinion, but whatever floats your boat.

Just don't force me to go to your church. Don't cry OMG!PERSECUTION when people throw the Chick tracts back in your basket, or say "No, I don't want 1,". If you don't like Halloween, that's easy, don't celebrate it. Maybe keep a "No Trick or Treaters Please" sign on your front door? But that would be logic, and you wanna minister.

edit: curiosity got the best of me. I looked it up, and it seems that the 1st church is in Georgia.

[Arete]

Sadly, Halloween has been postponed for the residents of the great state of NJ until Nov 5, but I am still not going to church. :snooty:

[Anxious Girl]

... Not even for All Saints Day(which was supposed to replace a pagan holiday and now in modern times, Halloween for Roman Catholics)? I joke around with my family that there's a saints holiday every other day... :lol:

[Arete]

The Catholics I know have absolutely no problem bumming candy on the 31st of October and then turning around and going to Mass on the 1st of November. Holding two opposite positions as equally valid makes them happy. :mrgreen:

[mockingbird]

The Catholics I know have absolutely no problem bumming candy on the 31st of October and then turning around and going to Mass on the 1st of November. Holding two opposite positions as equally valid makes them happy. :mrgreen:

Yes, but we were told in Catholic school that All Saints' Day was MUCH more important than Halloween and we need to remember to focus on that. It's actually my favorite religious holiday but that always annoyed me because... I love(d) Halloween more :?

[Kitty]

Ten bucks says this guy still has frosted tips and colored glasses. He's that out of touch.

[erunerune]

We had trick or treating on Sunday. We were in Church tonight for Mass. All Saints Day is tomorrow. We don't hand out tracks or say Halloween is evil though... Now we are eatting candy and junk and watching Hocus Pocus in our pjs. Wacky Catholics we are :)

I always hated it when my mom made me go to Mass on Halloween. I actually hated going to Mass in general though, but the Halloween aspect just made it burn a little more :evil:

Editing to give my mom credit for not having issues with trick-or-treating and generalized paganish-type-stuff. I have carried on those fine traditions with mini-erunerune sans the tedious Mass attendance, yay me!

[AddieBelle]

Why would I want to listen to a bigoted priest drawl the gospel and then preach all excitedly about how we should behave when they don't do it themselves? Oh, wait, that's because most Churches remind their followers that homophobia is a sin, but that misogynism, and sexism iare a-ok to keep believers in when it's really keeping most of them out? That's not an exciting way to spend Halloween for me, it's a boring and mansplaining way to spend Halloween in my opinion, but whatever floats your boat.

Just don't force me to go to your church. Don't cry OMG!PERSECUTION when people throw the Chick tracts back in your basket, or say "No, I don't want 1,". If you don't like Halloween, that's easy, don't celebrate it. Maybe keep a "No Trick or Treaters Please" sign on your front door? But that would be logic, and you wanna minister.

edit: curiosity got the best of me. I looked it up, and it seems that the 1st church is in Georgia.

Yes, Oconee county is frickin full of fundies. I grew up there.

[emmiedahl]

Well, we kind of went to church tonight.

We went trick-or-treating and no one in our area was home. Maybe one out of ten houses. And it was raining so it was just not worth being out. We saw that a local church was having a Halloween party and my husband offered to take the kids while I took the younger one home (because churches give me a bad rash :D ).

Apparently they had fun games, decent candy, and a huge bouncy house inside. My husband was really pleased with the total lack of religion. We were talking about this: churches like to pat themselves on the back for doing nice things for the community, but it is mostly proselytizing and very little actual good. I have been to parties at an Islamic community center where I was fed and treated well and not pushed to convert; my friends come with me to my synagogue's Purim party and we never would dream of asking them to become Jewish. Christians rarely do things like that, so I have to give some props to this church. This ended up to be a nice party with no proselytizing and for once, Christians actually did a nice thing just to make some kids happy.

[Minerva]

I don't think this pastor has met a homeless person, either. "Bumming" candy is probably the last thing on their minds.

[Guest Anonymous]

If my parents had demanded that my sister and I spend Halloween in church, instead of trick-or-treating, they'd have gotten a double raspberry for their pains.

[IceQueen]

My grandmother calls trick or treaters beggers. I have no idea why, she is from NYC and has no problem with halloween or passing out candy.