You know you are a former fundie when......

[gingernut]

I know you guys are probably tired of hearing these...but this is a life changer for me, believe it or not. You know you are a former fundie when you are 47 years old and have just finished reading the first Harry Potter book...previously forbidden fruit. I LOVED Harry! I love Hogwarts...and Hagrid...and how have I managed to get through life without these wonderful people??? And how I know oh so many Dursleys!!!!! Anyway....old news to most of you here, but oodles of fun for me!!! Can't wait to get the next one. Any of you have any of those "you know you are a former fundie" moments????

[snarkbillie]

I remember buying my first piece of lingerie. I was almost 30. I was very conflicted about it. Luckily my best friend who is religious but not fundie at all, was there to explain to me that as a grown woman who is married it is really really okay for me to have something I feel sexy in. Really. It's okay to feel sexy. Nothing is wrong with feeling sexy. It took her 20 minutes to convince me of that, and even then I was mighty doubtful.

[Jessica]

When you still look around to make sure no one from church is around to see you when you buy...

...Nope, not anything dirty. COFFEE for Pete's sake!

[blisterine]

...when you get to buy clothing that shows you (GASP!) knees, elbows and collarbones!

the fundie church i went to when i was little has this thing where it was not unusual to feel something brush your leg, and realize someone you didn't even know had folded the church program in half lengthwise and slapped it against your knee to be sure your skirt was long enough.

[Bookworm]

I know you guys are probably tired of hearing these...but this is a life changer for me, believe it or not. You know you are a former fundie when you are 47 years old and have just finished reading the first Harry Potter book...previously forbidden fruit. I LOVED Harry! I love Hogwarts...and Hagrid...and how have I managed to get through life without these wonderful people??? And how I know oh so many Dursleys!!!!! Anyway....old news to most of you here, but oodles of fun for me!!! Can't wait to get the next one. Any of you have any of those "you know you are a former fundie" moments????

Congrats! Harry Potter is a HUGE former fundie discovery for me. Read on as fast as you can, because these books only get better and BETTER. Actually, read slowly and savor it :)

[FeministShrew]

I know you guys are probably tired of hearing these...but this is a life changer for me, believe it or not. You know you are a former fundie when you are 47 years old and have just finished reading the first Harry Potter book...previously forbidden fruit. I LOVED Harry! I love Hogwarts...and Hagrid...and how have I managed to get through life without these wonderful people??? And how I know oh so many Dursleys!!!!! Anyway....old news to most of you here, but oodles of fun for me!!! Can't wait to get the next one. Any of you have any of those "you know you are a former fundie" moments????

I LOVE Harry Potter! Harry Potter was the crack in the fundie dam for me. My kids went to a Christian School at a fundie Free Will Baptist church (our church was FWB but we were known as liberal, because us wimmins wore ebul defrauding pants :roll: ). On Scholastic book order forms the teachers would mark out Harry Potter books, anything Pokemon related, and anything they just thought was evil.

My daughter loves to read, and on a week-long camping trip she finished the books she brought with her. The only kids book in the camp store was Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone, & she begged me to buy it. The (now ex) headship protested a little, mostly because he was cheap, but I bought it anyway. I planned to read it myself before I gave it to my daughter, but after the first chapter I told her it was an awesome book, read away!

I feel stupid now, because for years we hid the books, movies & toys when fundie friends & family came over. She couldn't take the books to school with her, but they'd be in the car & she'd be reading them before we got out of the parking lot. My ex-sil & bil stopped letting thier kids come over because they didn't want them corrupted by seeing even a snippet of an HP movie or playing with Hogwarts Castle. True story.

Now my sister has turned fundie & is teaching her grandkids that HP is evil. :evil: I subvert her in every way I can.

I would totally forsake the Muggle world & live forever in Diagon Alley if I could.

[ADoyle90815]

...you buy clothing that shows off your knees, elbows, shoulders, and collarbone.

....you make sure that nobody from church is around when you go to the store on Sunday.

[TudorRose]

. . . .you're missing huge parts of popular culture.

I gave up rock'n'roll in 1985, at The Wilds (indoctrination) summer camp with my IFB church. I don't recognise songs or performers that my peers do.

From 1987 through 1994, I didn't go to the movie house. The last movie I saw before the hammer came down was "Can't Buy Me Love." Well, no, actually, the hammer had already come down. I was sneaking to the theater. (My return to the movie house was "The Lion King.")

I never watched Seinfeld while it was on the air. Not one single partial or complete episode. (I have since seen one or two random episodes.)

so yeah. hu-u-u-u-uge gaps in pop culture.

[Deleted08]

Accepting you have bipolar disorder (oh that's what's been wrong all those years lol)

Catching up on 6 years of pop music I missed (HELLO Breaking Benjamin)

Still avoiding headbands that look like headcoverings

Allowing yourself to fangirl and not feel like you're going to hell

Realize what grace truly means and laugh when fundies don't know what Bible verses are from the New Testament lol!

[MagicalMuggle]

My first big thing I guess you can say coming out of fundie land was getting my split ends cut off. My hair hadn't seen scissors in over 11 years and the bottom of my hair was so uneven.

One day while walking around the mall I said 'screw it', went in a hair salon and got it done. It was still long, but it looked nice for once. Of course I felt a little bit guilt at first because I was so conditioned to believe it was a grave sin to even cut your split ends. :roll:

The 2nd big thing was going to see the last 2 Harry Potter movies in theater with my husband. Oh yes, I am a big HP fan (age 31) now as well. I will be beginning 'Order of the Phoenix' book tomorrow. The movies of course are great as well. Haven't gotten tired of watching them over and over, plus between them and the books, I learn something new every time. I jumped on the Hogwarts Express a bit later then everyone else, and that's okay, but I finally freed myself from the whole 'Harry Potter is of the devil' mentality. The husband & I hope to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter next year. We shall see. :)

The 3rd thing I did since leaving was go back to listening to music that I like. I love 80's music, and some early 90's music. Also a fan of love songs. :P For 11 years all I listened to was southern gospel hymns or acapella music as everything else was considered 'worldly'. I have no desire to listen to southern gospel or acapella at all. It has worn out its welcome with me.

The 4th thing I recently did was apply for a job. I've been a 'keeper at home' since 2003 after much pressure from my pastor that 'women are to be at home not on the work force'. Over the past few years I had gotten sick and tired of being at home and wanted to do something with my life, but the guilt of even wanting to do something more (a.k.a. disobeying God) always was in the front of my mind. Last month I decided to apply for a few jobs within walking distance from my house (we are a 1 car family and hubby takes the car for work). No bites of course, but it felt good to just break out of that mentality and have that drive to do something more with my life.

My last and final thing is, I am going to be celebrating Halloween this year. I'm so excited! :D Before I had gotten saved, Halloween was like what Christmas is to some people...the most wonderful time of the year. :) Then I got saved and Halloween was tagged as 'evil, wicked, satanic, the devils holiday, not something Christians celebrate, etc'. So like a good girl, I obeyed what I was taught.

I recently walked in to my first Halloween store not too long ago and it was great. Hubby and I plan on handing out candy to the kiddos and we hope if all goes well, to go to 2 haunted houses and we may even dress up.

Coming out of fundamentalist Christianity takes time. It doesn't happen over night. There is a lot of brain washing to un do. It may take a person months or even years to find themselves again and begin to live a normal life. I've still got a long way to go myself. Still trying to find out who I am.

[MagicalMuggle]

Me too! Or I would be happy at Hogwarts as well.

So, whether you come back page by page or by big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

--JK Rowling 2011

[nokidsmom]

My last and final thing is, I am going to be celebrating Halloween this year. I'm so excited! :D Before I had gotten saved, Halloween was like what Christmas is to some people...the most wonderful time of the year. :) Then I got saved and Halloween was tagged as 'evil, wicked, satanic, the devils holiday, not something Christians celebrate, etc'. So like a good girl, I obeyed what I was taught.

I recently walked in to my first Halloween store not too long ago and it was great. Hubby and I plan on handing out candy to the kiddos and we hope if all goes well, to go to 2 haunted houses and we may even dress up..

So, just curious, will you be a Harry Potter character this Halloween? Or your kids? I was Harry Potter a few years ago, actually made a Gryffindor robe!

[ElphabaGalinda]

So, just curious, will you be a Harry Potter character this Halloween? Or your kids? I was Harry Potter a few years ago, actually made a Gryffindor robe!

I was Tonks two years ago and it was my best costume ever. I highly recommend a secondary Harry Potter character costume you can put together yourself. My friend was a very convincing and terrifying Belatrix Lestrange last year.

[Loveday]

Congrats! Harry Potter is a HUGE former fundie discovery for me. Read on as fast as you can, because these books only get better and BETTER. Actually, read slowly and savor it :)

This, this, this! :) The only HP book I read slowly was the last one, and that's because I knew it was the very last and I wanted to put off the end for as long as I could. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have devoured each one in a day, I'd have just taken my time! :lol:

[MagicalMuggle]

So, just curious, will you be a Harry Potter character this Halloween? Or your kids? I was Harry Potter a few years ago, actually made a Gryffindor robe!

No, originally I wanted to be a witch, but the way finances are for us right now, I'll be happy with a Halloween shirt, black / orange Halloween socks and maybe some black lipstick / nailpolish. I will probably have to go with that idea as it's cheaper. Unless we come in to some financial windfall before the 31st. We don't have children yet.

[Jessica]

...When you can read something spiritual (or even Christian but not affiliated or endorsed by any specific church/denomination) and just accept or reject it on your own based on your conscious or based on your own personal Bible study instead of going back to lds.org to check if it's "okay" to believe it or not.

[Just_Jane]

I love the HP books. I think everyone should read them because they are such fun. Obviously I have never been fundie.

I was so sad when I read the last book. I used to get all the books the day they were released and spend the entire day reading them. Everyone knew not to call me unless it was life or death.

[Lillybee]

...when you get to buy clothing that shows you (GASP!) knees, elbows and collarbones!

the fundie church i went to when i was little has this thing where it was not unusual to feel something brush your leg, and realize someone you didn't even know had folded the church program in half lengthwise and slapped it against your knee to be sure your skirt was long enough.

I was not a fundie, but a strict Catholic. In high school we had to kneel on the floor and only passed hemline inspection when our skirts touched the floor.

[pixydust]

I know you guys are probably tired of hearing these...but this is a life changer for me, believe it or not. You know you are a former fundie when you are 47 years old and have just finished reading the first Harry Potter book...previously forbidden fruit. I LOVED Harry! I love Hogwarts...and Hagrid...and how have I managed to get through life without these wonderful people??? And how I know oh so many Dursleys!!!!! Anyway....old news to most of you here, but oodles of fun for me!!! Can't wait to get the next one. Any of you have any of those "you know you are a former fundie" moments????

Oh you are in for a treat! The first HP book is the worst of the bunch! It's not bad, it's just that the others are sooooo gooood! :D BTW, I read a lot of fantasy books, so if you like fantasy when you are ready for some suggestions PM me!

[chaotic life]

When you send your passel of children off on the school bus and breathe a sigh of relief, you have left fundieland.

However, you know you are REALLY free when you not only earn a Bachelor's degree you abandoned in your descent into fundieland but you land your first job interview in 15 years and squeal.

[gingernut]

Loved hearing everyone's stories....I can relate so well to the clothes, music, and celebrating Halloween for the first time! I can't believe I didn't let my kids go trick or treating or even have a Christmas tree for years. One of my first breaks from fundie land was getting a Christmas tree...and this year celebrating Halloween...reading Harry Potter...I am just having so much fun with all this. I am so very happy. I am finding I still need unbrainwashing as well and there are sad parts, like the fact that I did this to my children. They forgave me, though, and we are all enjoying our new life together.

[bernadette]

When blending in with all the "normal" people feels so good.

When you don't start college until you're 29, and when you don't change your mind about attending college just because you're dating someone.

When you date without feeling guilty that the guy(s) didn't go through your dad first.

[Claddagh]

When you buy your first set of tarot cards and realize a lightning bolt won't come out of the sky and fry you.

I also have a crystal ball now that was given to me.

[Kaylee]

When you miss church to go to a protest against an anti-gay pastor.

When you're putting on a sexy outfit a night out, but still start to grab a headcovering to wear so you feel covered up. :(

When you're 30 and have decided to go back to a real college for a Women's Studies degree that doesn't include classes on child rearing, piano playing, or being a submissive wife.

When you miss most TV & movie references from the early-mid 90s on.

When you finally join a local Roller Derby team and don't give a fuck who sees you in booty shorts.

[Ms A E]

- When you constantly have to explain to people that you know no pop-culture references prior to a certain time period. (My liberation came in waves, beginning with listening to popular music while driving my car in high school, so I have to explain I don't know any music references before that time, whereas movies and television came later.)

- When you have to remind yourself that it's ok for you and the pastor's wife(!) to do 'sexy' dance moves during zumba class at a local non-fundie church.

- When you have to seek reassurance from others that your wedding dress wasn't "slutty," even though you loved that dress, and also believe that women should dress to please themselves, and not to anyone else's standards.

- When you struggle to call yourself a Democrat, altho that party most closely represents your own political views, because the Democratic party was referred to as "That Evil" when you were a child.