Savories of Life

[formergothardite]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??? :lol: Somebody needs to take this woman's keyboard and bury it in a deep, deep hole somewhere.

Does she not realize that you can educate people with out putting them in slavery? I don't understand anything she writes.

[Hane]

Historians, please correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it illegal to teach "salves" to read in many parts of the antebellum South?

And then there is this bon mot:

This house is wanted for peritoneal matters as I have a few depts, to pay and this plantain may pay them off.

I think this gal must be typing any ol' thang and then hitting SpellCheck. Hilarity ensues.

Curse you, terranova, for bringing this trainwreck to my attention. I am now enthralled. Horrified, and enthralled.

[rock_girl]

I enjoy paying my debts off with bananas :lol:.

[acheronbeach]

This has got to be a combination of poor vocabulary and poor use of spell-check...

Turning to the word of God her face became different and it was as if she had thrown her loud over her shoulder.

“Hear I am mother but what did father say about war?â€. He said across from the table.

“ Up in Virginia I plane to continue growing cotton.â€

“ No! Father I count bear it†Amy blushed.

Nat Turners salve rebellion

Also, what's in that teacup picture? It looks like the cup is full of egg yolks... or custard...???

[formergothardite]

Can someone please explain to me what the plot of her story is? I've read it three time and I still have no idea what is supposed to be happening.

[acheronbeach]

Can someone please explain to me what the plot of her story is? I've read it three time and I still have no idea what is supposed to be happening.

From what I gathered, Rose/Rosa and her family have to move to a new Virginia plantation, because Daddy wants to keep his slaves. There is some family friend (?) named Douglass/Douglas who's setting the whole move up.

[acheronbeach]

I suspect that Douglass will be Rosa's love interest.

[sugaree]

One of my greatest pleasures in life is mocking bad fictionals. But this one is so very bad I can't even work up the effort.

It really does have all the earmarks of an anti-slavery tale, but it doesn't seem to be going there. Bizarre.

[Hane]

Also, what's in that teacup picture? It looks like the cup is full of egg yolks... or custard...???

I'm thinking butternut squash soup, maybe.

[ladyamylynn]

I'm thinking butternut squash soup, maybe.

I did a reverse image search on google and apparently it's carrot ginger soup. (As commonly served in the antebellum south, I'm so sure. :roll: )

[thoughtful]

This house is wanted for peritoneal matters as I have a few depts, to pay and this plantain may pay them off.

I believe gastroenterologists are in charge of the peritoneal department, but I am not sure how plantain would heal such problems.

And now, all I can think of is Allen Sherman's parody of C'est si Bon, with the line "I see things in your peritoneum that belong in the British Museum."

Nat Turner's salve rebellion.

What, did he urge his followers to give up A&D Ointment in favor of Bag Balm?

[terranova]

I never knew Vicks Vapour Rub has such a tough time of it back in the 1800s!

[Hane]

I believe gastroenterologists are in charge of the peritoneal department, but I am not sure how plantain would heal such problems.

And now, all I can think of is Allen Sherman's parody of C'est si Bon, with the line "I see things in your peritoneum that belong in the British Museum."

What, did he urge his followers to give up A&D Ointment in favor of Bag Balm?

Or Boudreau's Butt Paste? :lol:

What? The late, magnificent Allan Sherman wrote a song I, his #! fan since sixth grade, am unfamiliar with? Must run and find it!

[thoughtful]

Or Boudreau's Butt Paste? :lol:

What? The late, magnificent Allan Sherman wrote a song I, his #! fan since sixth grade, am unfamiliar with? Must run and find it!

Great minds -- I almost wrote that instead of Bag Balm.

I couldn't find a video of "I See Bones," but here are the lyrics. If you know "C'est si Bon," you can plug them in mentally:

http://www.lyricstime.com/allan-sherman ... yrics.html

A sample, and a place to buy it:

http://www.amazon.com/I-See-Bones-Live- ... B005O6NDT0

And you are his #2 fan, since I, of course, am #1.

[Artemis]

:D Oh my God what is she like! My brain is turning to soup. (Possibly carrot and ginger :D )

She needs to go back to school and learn to write grammatical English. The peritoneal matters and the plantain nearly did for me!

I wonder if she's severely dyslexic or just very badly schooled? In either case her parents should be ashamed of themselves for not seeking help for her.

And that's just the grammar, syntax and spelling, without even considering the abysmal lack of cultural social or historical sensitivity and the apologist attitude to slavery.

ETA actually, Thoughtful, plantain is an excellent wound herb, so possibly there was some sort of peritoneal trauma?

As well as the literary trauma . . . .

[Hane]

thoughtful! I found it! http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/a/alla ... bones.html

A repository of alluvit! Allan started me off on my long and unprofitable career writing song parodies for office celebrations.

[acheronbeach]

The exchange between Bob and Elisha was one of the most bizarre conversations ever put to writing.

I still have no clue why they talked so long about various "salves", and I don't know why Bob assaulted his brother (brother in law?) and ran out into the night.

[formergothardite]

The exchange between Bob and Elisha was one of the most bizarre conversations ever put to writing.

I still have no clue why they talked so long about various "salves", and I don't know why Bob assaulted his brother (brother in law?) and ran out into the night.

That part totally confused me. It is like there are big chunks of the story missing.

[Hane]

That part totally confused me. It is like there are big chunks of the story missing.

This is a typical newbie-writer flaw. She has the story all mapped out or unfolding in her head, and leaves gaps in her "transcription" as she writes/types it out. Without realizing it, she's expecting us to read her mind. Oh, and the random pics she tosses in every paragraph or so sure aren't helping.

I left a comment begging her to get proofreading/editorial help, because her style made her story damn-near incomprehensible. The comment was deleted after about fifteen minutes.

This one, however, remains:

I'd be much obliged if you'd interpret the following: "This house is wanted for peritoneal matters as I have a few depts, to pay and this plantain may pay them off."

SpellCheck is not all-powerful.

[Guest Anonymous]

Bob is Elisha's older brother. Bob owns the house where Elisha and his family live, and he holds this over Elisha's head in order to get what he wants (e.g. Elisha buying over-priced slaves even though he doesn't really want them). Elisha's family's living situation is pretty tenuous because Bob is threatening to put them out. The reason for Bob's behaviour isn't clear, I suppose it's just to provide tension for the story (think Pride and Prejudice).

It still doesn't make much sense. Elisha seems to be pissing away money left and right. He's spending the equivalent of thousands on his daughter's education, and he's spending the equivalent of millions on a new plantation, so the threat of "homelessness" rings hollow.

Also, I'm finding it a little jarring that one brother is called Elisha (traditional, Biblical) and the other is called Bob (casual, not Biblical at all). I don't know why I expect any sort of consistency.

Edited: wording and accuracy

[formergothardite]

Bob is Elisha's older brother. Bob owns the house where Elisha and his family live, and he holds this over Elisha's head in order to get what he wants (e.g. Elisha buying over-priced slaves even though he doesn't really want them). Elisha's family's living situation is pretty tenuous because Bob is threatening to put them out. The reason for Bob's behaviour isn't clear, I suppose it's just to provide tension for the story (think Pride and Prejudice).

It still doesn't make much sense. Elisha seems to be pissing away money left and right. He's spending the equivalent of thousands on his daughter's education, and he's spending the equivalent of millions on a new plantation, so the threat of "homelessness" rings hollow.

Also, I'm finding it a little jarring that one brother is called Elisha (traditional, Biblical) and the other is called Bob (casual, not Biblical at all). I don't know why I expect any sort of consistency.

Edited: wording and accuracy

I am so impressed that you read that story and figured all that out. :clap: I read the story and got none of that.

[Guest Anonymous]

I just found something else: Bob needs to sell the plantation in order to pay off his debts ('depts'), that's why he's evicting Elisha. I think 'peritoneal matters' might just mean 'personal matters'.

[NjoyingNsanity]

I used to beta read for fanfiction writers over on fanfiction.net and LiveJournal and even the fourteen year old Romanian girl I helped had a better grasp on English than this. Her writing reminds me of the speech to text apps on my phone.

[Guest Anonymous]

I used to beta read for fanfiction writers over on fanfiction.net and LiveJournal and even the fourteen year old Romanian girl I helped had a better grasp on English than this. Her writing reminds me of the speech to text apps on my phone.

I was just thinking something similar. It reminds me of when you use closed captions on a youtube video, some of the words turn out fine but some get tangled up. You get things like: 'I was trying to feed the orange weekend tambourine Monday diet machine'.

[Hane]

Her writing reminds me of the speech to text apps on my phone.

I think you might have something there! Maybe that's how this gal "writes"!