Fundie adults/children

[ILoveJellybeans]

I have noticed that the fundie definition of an adult and a child, is that adults are married.

There are some unmarried people, who we would call adults in our world, but are still living at home and pretty much treated like teenagers, such as the Maxwell "children", even though some of them are 30. There are also married 20 year olds who are treated just like adults are, yet they are way younger.

The thing is, Gothard isnt married-so in fundieland he should be considered a child, not the leader of their cult.

[CrazySister]

I have noticed that the fundie definition of an adult and a child, is that adults are married.

There are some unmarried people, who we would call adults in our world, but are still living at home and pretty much treated like teenagers, such as the Maxwell "children", even though some of them are 30. There are also married 20 year olds who are treated just like adults are, yet they are way younger.

The thing is, Gothard isnt married-so in fundieland he should be considered a child, not the leader of their cult.

Gothard's credentials to be a leader of ANYthing are utterly pathetic but the fact that he's never married, has no kids, and has no genuine education in psychology of anything is one of the biggest reasons I'm always shocked he has any sheeple at all. I will never understand what his gothardites tell themselves to believe as uneducated as he is is somehow the be-all-end-all of life wisdom.

[Minerva]

Gothard's credentials to be a leader of ANYthing are utterly pathetic but the fact that he's never married, has no kids, and has no genuine education in psychology of anything is one of the biggest reasons I'm always shocked he has any sheeple at all. I will never understand what his gothardites tell themselves to believe as uneducated as he is is somehow the be-all-end-all of life wisdom.

I will never understand how so many people manage to say "I've never been married or had a family - let me instruct you in the best way to do it" and how so many people eat it up.

[Marian the Librarian]

I will never understand how so many people manage to say "I've never been married or had a family - let me instruct you in the best way to do it" and how so many people eat it up.

Like all those celibate Catholic priests, maybe?

[Coconut Flan]

I describe it as the church of the charismatic leader syndrome.

I don't see Gothard as charismatic, but some people who have met him in person have said that he is persuasive. The more religiously literate and generally grounded people I've talked to who have heard him speak, have all spoken very dismissively of him though. The fundie lite next door rolls her eyes every time I say Gothard.

[Closed Womb]

I have noticed that the fundie definition of an adult and a child, is that adults are married.

There are some unmarried people, who we would call adults in our world, but are still living at home and pretty much treated like teenagers, such as the Maxwell "children", even though some of them are 30. There are also married 20 year olds who are treated just like adults are, yet they are way younger.

The thing is, Gothard isnt married-so in fundieland he should be considered a child, not the leader of their cult.

I think child/adult = unmarried/married is a very interesting, astute observation. Maybe marriage does not mean adulthood in all of fundieland, but it certainly seems to be the sticking point within families.

Regarding Gothard's marital status, I think some fundies consider the ability to remain unmarried an elevated state, as described in 1 Corinthians 7 (summary: if you can't keep it in your pants, get married so you are not sinning when you have sex, but the really good, Godly folks will stay unmarried and serve God.)

[CrazySister]

Regarding Gothard's marital status, I think some fundies consider the ability to remain unmarried an elevated state, as described in 1 Corinthians 7 (summary: if you can't keep it in your pants, get married so you are not sinning when you have sex, but the really good, Godly folks will stay unmarried and serve God.)

Ugh, you're probably right! :?

[Naga Viper]

I describe it as the church of the charismatic leader syndrome.

I call it this:

HVzAH0FtNwg

Fucking hell, I'm old. :cry:

[bananacat]

I think Gothard gets a pass because he's a man. Women are seen as children to their fathers, and then sort of pseudo-adults when they get married, but never real adults. In fundie circles men are given a lot more freedom in all but the most restrictive families (the Maxwells) and are considered more adult whether married or not. The main reason they are supposed to get married is not to have some replacement parent, but to have an outlet for sex and be less tempted to sin. So I think it's easier for them to give honorary adulthood status to unmarried men.

[Nimbles]

Plus people like the Duggars who collect children like to call them "kids" as in "I have 20 kids!"

No, you have 6 adults/slaves. Stop saying 20 kids so it sounds like you're a super mother looking after a load of actual children on your own.

[NerdyHil]

I call it this:

HVzAH0FtNwg

Fucking hell, I'm old. :cry:

A

Aaand, thank you for the ear worm.

[clibbyjo]

A

Aaand, thank you for the ear worm.

Hey, my first concert was Culture Club in 1982! My sister took me and she got us tickets 7 rows from the stage. This would be my now fundie sister,who has 3 adult daughters living at home(2 are mid 20's) and they are most certainly seen as "the children".

[thetabmeister]

Ugh, you're probably right! :?

My childhood best friend, T., whose family has slipped deeper and deeper down the Gothardism/ATI/IBLP rabbit hole over the years, used to tell me gleefully that she never intended to marry because she wanted to stay purer and holier and closer to God. She made it clear that a married woman wasn't as high in God's favor as an unmarried woman. She even drew me a diagram with levels of spiritual closeness to God, depicting the unmarried woman whose life was wholly devoted to serving God (as opposed to an unmarried woman whose life isn't fully devoted to serving God) at the very top. This was, of course, around ages 11-13 or so, when I was at the peak of my future marriage and wedding dreams. It sure made me feel terrible for wanting marriage. I never really believed her too much though, since I was always pretty independent and able to detach myself from others' approval. This same girl is now 26 and has continued to lived unmarried in her parents' house since she graduated high school. College was evil, so she didn't go. She's been running her mother's household and father's insurance business singlehandedly for 8 years. In January, a man approached her father for a courtship with her, and in Feb. they began dating. She assured me the whole time that it may or may not end in marriage, that they had no plans to marry at this point, that it was up to God's will, and that if it didn't end up in marriage, that was okay, just whatever God wanted. Well, of course, they got engaged July 1st and the wedding is set for Oct. 20. I find it interesting that apparently, God wanted the fiance to set up "J. and T.'s wedding website in JANUARY, before he had even asked T. (or should I say, before T.'s parents' had even asked her) if she wanted to court him or not. Somebody was sure of himself! But I mean, how ELSE did they expect it to end? Anyway, I guess T. gave up the mindset of being a super spiritual unmarried woman. This is the person who will tell me (during the rare times we get to phone call or email) that sometimes she is so busy with all the child care of her 5 younger siblings, cooking all the meals, cleaning her parents' 4000 sf house, and of course, running her dad's office, that sometimes she has to miss church, Bible reading, or prayer. Guess that being unmarried bit didn't turn out to be so spiritual after all.

[caito]

"The thing is, Gothard isnt married-so in fundieland he should be considered a child, not the leader of their cult."

heeheeheehehhoo.

Those adult children make me uneasy. Like when I found out that some of the Maxwells were older than me, I was like whaaaaa? Because they look pretty young.

[Naga Viper]

Hey, my first concert was Culture Club in 1982! My sister took me and she got us tickets 7 rows from the stage. This would be my now fundie sister,who has 3 adult daughters living at home(2 are mid 20's) and they are most certainly seen as "the children".

Actually, just to tie my little nostalgia trip into something relevant-ish, Wikipedia says of "Church of the Poison Mind," "The subject of the song is an attack on the attitudes of certain churches and faiths on homosexuality." So far I haven't been able to corroborate this via Google and the lyrics are opaque enough that the only way I would know it was about something that specific would be to read that interpretation and then squint at them really hard. Any old-timers recall George making a statement along those lines, or do I just take Mr./Ms. Wikipedia Contributor's word for it?

[KitCatCadillac]

You know, I still live with my parents, and sometimes I do feel like I'm still a child. At the same time, I have a job, own my own car, am working towards a degree, and make my own decisions about my life. And it's not like I'm an especially motivated person. That's just how it works when you leave adolescence. Seems to me like families where people are considered children until they marry are fighting against the tide. Really, what I'm asking is, what do they do all day?