Trivial God...

[Deleted07]

So do we have a running list of "shit fundies think God blessed them with" going? if not we should!

The seven sisters were blessed with a ham, another family was blessed with parking spaces (forget which)... Jodi Jepson was blessed by whenever she thought of pants something negative happening, first her finger being slammed in a door, second time when her oven caught on fire!

Seriously for an all powerful God, he seems to worry about a lot of trivial stuff, doesn't he?

Another example is this blog I stumbled across: Another post from a SAHM praising the Lord for one of lifes most trivial 'trials' where she lost the diamond in her wedding ring and praise God it was found!

kaitneel.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/its-just-ring.html

(Not sure if anyone has seen this blog or not, one thing thats obvious is the baby is clearly a GIRL! Because we wouldn't know that without the ginormous flower on her head in every damn picture!)

So anyway, what other trivial things has God blessed our favourite fundies with? 8-)

[mkitten]

Apparently Nathan and Melanie had the Bate's over for dinner on their Six Week "Journey" and that was a blessing. The poor dears had to plan meals and pack and everything!

titus2.com/blog

edited to insert broken link

Edited again because I'm such a noob I don't know how to properly break a link. :oops:

[OkToBeTakei]

Aww Joseph Maxwell's ill-fated marriage bed :lol:

[formergothardite]

God gave Miss Raquel a horse!

[happy atheist]

Don't forget the woman whose muffins turned out fine (after prayer) even though she used chocolate chips instead of blueberries. Or whatever the hell.

[Sola]

I can't remember which blog it was, one similar to (but not) the Seven Sisters.

They found a bouquet of flowers at the side of the road and took them home. Several of us here pointed out here and on the blog that those flowers were probably a memorial to someone who had died there in an accident.

But I guess it was all cool, cos God blessed them with those flowers.

[Witsec7]

Jodi Jepson when she mashed her finger and when the oven caught on fire. PTL god was telling her that even thinking about wearing pants was ebil.

[terranova]

I can't remember which blog it was, one similar to (but not) the Seven Sisters.

They found a bouquet of flowers at the side of the road and took them home. Several of us here pointed out here and on the blog that those flowers were probably a memorial to someone who had died there in an accident.

But I guess it was all cool, cos God blessed them with those flowers.

It was the Grady Family. They flounced soon after they were called out on that.

Don't forget all the times God has blessed the Maxwells with parts for Uriah. I swear they must have rebuilt that entire bus with blessed parts from the Lord.

[sparkles]

My favorite was a woman on the Weight Watchers board who said she was blessed by god because when she got a craving for a barrel sized vat of kettle corn and drove 20 miles to Walmart, they were sold out and she could only buy the snack size. Must have been a reeeeeaaallly slow day at the office for god....

That one has always been my go-to for fundy delusion.

[Sprocket]

So do we have a running list of "shit fundies think God blessed them with" going? if not we should!

The seven sisters were blessed with a ham, another family was blessed with parking spaces (forget which)... Jodi Jepson was blessed by whenever she thought of pants something negative happening, first her finger being slammed in a door, second time when her oven caught on fire!

Seriously for an all powerful God, he seems to worry about a lot of trivial stuff, doesn't he?

Another example is this blog I stumbled across: Another post from a SAHM praising the Lord for one of lifes most trivial 'trials' where she lost the diamond in her wedding ring and praise God it was found!

kaitneel.blogspot.com.au/2012/08/its-just-ring.html

(Not sure if anyone has seen this blog or not, one thing thats obvious is the baby is clearly a GIRL! Because we wouldn't know that without the ginormous flower on her head in every damn picture!)

So anyway, what other trivial things has God blessed our favourite fundies with? 8-)

That crazy lady's info is chisled into my brain. Anyway, I thought she slammed her hand in the van door on purpose (in front of her adopted daughters no less) because she had thought about wearing pants and God didn't intervene and stop the door from breaking her fingers. It cost her family something like $7k because of her stupidity.

[Caribou]

Was there not a fundie who PTL for multiplying her cheesecake to feed all the women in her church group? Sorry for being so vague on the details but I'm sure she was discussed here.

[Lillybee]

No one can be more trivial that the Maxwells. Sarah said that Jesus blessed them with a good night's sleep on the way home from their last conference.

[thoughtful]

Don't forget the woman whose muffins turned out fine (after prayer) even though she used chocolate chips instead of blueberries. Or whatever the hell.

The Miracle of the Muffins still takes my prize for most trivial.

Jodi Jepson's fire and busted finger are in the "most twisted" category, in my mind! :lol:

[slickcat79]

Wasn't some family blessed with hot dog buns for a BBQ or some such? Servens, maybe, or some part of the S'Morton clan?

ETA: Found it! It was actually the Staddons.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=1152

[Deleted07]

OH I seem to remember the multiplying cheesecake!!! Now You got me looking... I think that was seven sisters, Also!

[kpmom]

Was there not a fundie who PTL for multiplying her cheesecake to feed all the women in her church group? Sorry for being so vague on the details but I'm sure she was discussed here.

I kind of remember that. Wasn't it one of those women who gives webinars on how to be a godly woman? Yeah, I know that doesn't narrow it down that much. But the story is familiar.

[linnea27]

Was there not a fundie who PTL for multiplying her cheesecake to feed all the women in her church group? Sorry for being so vague on the details but I'm sure she was discussed here.

oh god I remember that. God doesn't multiply food for the starving children of the world, but for a group of privileged dessert-eating women at a church social? DONE.

:roll:

[shrillharpy]

oh god I remember that. God doesn't multiply food for the starving children of the world, but for a group of privileged dessert-eating women at a church social? DONE.

:roll:

Well, if those poor starving kids had just prayed over their cheesecake....wait, what's that you say? No cheesecake?

Maybe these ladies should pray for the gift of reason, or logic, or just a clue.

[latraviata]

My favorite was a woman on the Weight Watchers board who said she was blessed by god because when she got a craving for a barrel sized vat of kettle corn and drove 20 miles to Walmart, they were sold out and she could only buy the snack size. Must have been a reeeeeaaallly slow day at the office for god....

That one has always been my go-to for fundy delusion.

I really love this one:

http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=44595

Quote# 44595

[Talking about modern-day Loaves & Fishes miracles...]

I personally have seen this happen......

I was on a ladies' committee at a church...at the time we would have no more than 60 lady's come to our meetings. We decided to have cheesecakes for one of the meetings. I did the calling for the cakes, saw the number and divided them to be served. Why we thought at the time, each lady would take one piece only I don't know. This had to be over 15 years ago now.

The lines came to the table and we saw ladies taking 2-3 pieces each and thought what are we going to do there is just not going to be enough to go around. Well there was and many pieces left over......and all ladies were in the line.

All ladies on the committee agreed without a doubt the cheesecake was multipied, there was just no other way there was pieces left over. We still talk about that night.

[terranova]

I really love this one:

http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=44595

Quote# 44595

[Talking about modern-day Loaves & Fishes miracles...]

I personally have seen this happen......

I was on a ladies' committee at a church...at the time we would have no more than 60 lady's come to our meetings. We decided to have cheesecakes for one of the meetings. I did the calling for the cakes, saw the number and divided them to be served. Why we thought at the time, each lady would take one piece only I don't know. This had to be over 15 years ago now.

The lines came to the table and we saw ladies taking 2-3 pieces each and thought what are we going to do there is just not going to be enough to go around. Well there was and many pieces left over......and all ladies were in the line.

All ladies on the committee agreed without a doubt the cheesecake was multipied, there was just no other way there was pieces left over. We still talk about that night.

Wow things must be boring in Eastbumfuck Nowhereville.

[SpeakNow]

I really love this one:

http://www.fstdt.com/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=44595

Quote# 44595

[Talking about modern-day Loaves & Fishes miracles...]

I personally have seen this happen......

I was on a ladies' committee at a church...at the time we would have no more than 60 lady's come to our meetings. We decided to have cheesecakes for one of the meetings. I did the calling for the cakes, saw the number and divided them to be served. Why we thought at the time, each lady would take one piece only I don't know. This had to be over 15 years ago now.

The lines came to the table and we saw ladies taking 2-3 pieces each and thought what are we going to do there is just not going to be enough to go around. Well there was and many pieces left over......and all ladies were in the line.

All ladies on the committee agreed without a doubt the cheesecake was multipied, there was just no other way there was pieces left over. We still talk about that night.

It had to be G-d because, you know, they couldn't have possibly miscalculated the number of slices per cake. Oh no. Their SOTDRT math had to be right.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Its sad really how they dont claim any idea they ever made because they think God gave them that idea.

It seems kinda arrogant to think that God answers their every prayer, even over the silliest stuff. Surely if you genuinely believed your prayers would be answered, you would stop misusing it for silly stuff and start praying for things like food for the people starving in Africa, people dying from cancer to get better, pedophiles to stop touching kids and important stuff like that.

[uber frau]

The God who multiplied the cheesecake and blessed the great muffin switcheroo also likes the best bits from Meredith's mother's ice-cream, apparently. She saves them for him, especially.

[Sprocket]

It had to be G-d because, you know, they couldn't have possibly miscalculated the number of slices per cake. Oh no. Their SOTDRT math had to be right.

It was definately God. Because the women who were taking multiple pieces of cake couldn't have been getting it for their table to share! God won't multiply food for starving children but will multiply sugary confections for a ladies group. Uh hu. I think these people are disturbing.

[mkitten]

I don't really remember much of my Bible studies from when I was a kid, but doesn't it say somewhere in there tha "God helps those who help themselves?" Or is that one of those embroidered platitudes that wind up hanging on a fundies wall somewhere while they are praying for God's help to make the frozen tator-tot casserole heat ok?