To Be or Not to Be: A Famous Fundie?

[punkiepie]

Here is the question- for the girls, is it better to be from a regular old fundie family or a famous family fundie family? The reason I'm curious about it is that there clearly seems to be lots of fundie social ladder climbing, but from where I'm standing, I think being a girl from a famous fundie family can actually be worse for them. Most of the regular families marry off their daughters by age 20. Meanwhile, the Botkins girls, Sarah maxwell, eventually the Duggar girls, Michaella Bates, etc., languish at home waiting for a family of their own.

I realize that with more fame comes more money, more respect, and possibly an easier home life. The Duggar girls probably don't work as hard as they would if they weren't "The Duggars." They travel and have nicer clothes, but at what cost? It seems that the more famous a fundie family is, the more difficult it is for their daughters to find husbands. And since that's all they are being bred for, all they can do is wait. It's probably very intimidating or the man boys to approach these girls and now that they have grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle, they aren't going to want to marry just any old boy.

I think Kelly Bradrick is the one exception to this and that's because her suitor had an ego the size of Mt. Kilimanjaro and had no problem standing up to Scott Brown and taking charge. Most of the current fundie boy population does not have Peter Bradrick's oversized, supremely confidant, inflated sense of self.

So which is better? Do you think those girls wish they weren't famous? Or is it worth it to them?

[trplaxle]

I'm going with famous. Living life as a fundie would suck, so if i at least got some vacations and money out of it, sweet. Plus, the parents/father can't be a total d bag with the cameras on.

[sparkles]

With the exception of Sarah Maxwell and possibly Sarah "Before You Meet Prince Charming" Malley (both of whom appear to be outside of the inner circle), I think most of these "girls"--and I do think they're still girls, regardless of their actual age--would probably go with famous. First, I think it would be hard to have to adjust to a life that's most probably out of the spotlight, where you've really got to walk the walk you've been talking about. And second, I think a lot of fundie guys might be put off by a potential helpmeet who's led a life on the front lines of god's army--not exactly the shrinking violet that's supposed to be the ideal helpmeet. Plus, how many available young men are there at the upper financial level of fundie-dom. I can't see a lot of these girls being too pleased with downward mobility. They may talk a good game but when it comes down to it, I picture most of them as younger versions of Serena Joy, the Commander's wife from The Handmaid's Tale, who was a celebrity in the time before and relegated to knitting useless scarves in Gilead. Be careful what you wish for.

[purpleeee]

Plus, putting off marriage is the only kind of birth control any of them will ever be allowed to practice.

[Hane]

I'd also go with "famous." We've seen fundie royalty who have "interns" and "mother's helpers" on staff to do some of the gruntwork. (I bet they're paid little or nothing, because of the "privilege" of serving the likes of the Phillipses and Chanceys.)

[Handmaiden of Dog]

If you have to do the laundry wouldn't you rather do it with a roomful of industrial machines and Tide detergent? If you had to do the cooking wouldn't you rather do it in a modern up to date kitchen with all the conveniences? If you had to share a bedroom wouldn't you rather have a giant room with two bathrooms and plenty of space?

Yes, you are right, they may have trouble getting married and they may pine for a suitor, but in the meanwhile their chores are considerably easier, they live in more comfortable surroundings and they are not pregnant 9 months out of the year. I worry about all of our young fundy girls. I worry about them getting married and living in dire poverty and drudging away and getting old before their time. For right now they are living the best fundy life possible.

[luckystone]

Yep would definitely prefer the lifestyle of the famous/well-off ones because it's going to suck anyway. Delaying marriage is probably a good thing for these girls. They can pop out far fewer children and while they have family responsibilities, it's probably not as much as having a family of their own (debatable with some of the J'Slaves perhaps). Definitely since they started doing the show the Duggars have had a much nicer lifestyle and I think I would pick that over the same crazy beliefs but living in poverty and already having three kids.

[TMS]

Which type of family would be easiest to escape?

Now, if a fundie girl didn't *want* to escape then I think being "fundie royalty" would be best. They can pretty much sit on their ass all day blogging, sewing, and making crafts, not having to worry about kids or keeping a house.

[pixydust]

It would suck to be mildly wealthy and have 12 kids...having 12 kids and living in poverty would suck sooo much more.

I vote for famous.

[moreorlessnu]

I fear that there are hoards of unknown Sarah Maxwells out there who have an absolutely crappy lot in life, yet don't get any of the perks that a famous fundie might get.

Think of that red haired girl (who knows the Seppis) who married the red haired much older guy. She didn't have much going on in her life to the point where she was even nervous speaking with men.

[wendy-sparkles]

Definitely famous. In terms of the (probably very fertile) Duggar girls, every year unmarried is potentially one less arrow in their quiver. People keep on predicting Jill as the perpetual SAHD, which I think is unlikely, but say she doesn't get married for another five or ten years - maybe she'll be able to upgrade her skills to an actual nurse midwife. At the very least, she will have had experience working outside the home, something the married-at-20 SAHD is never going to have. Also I think, if one of them wanted to "escape", what are Michelle and Jim-Bob going to do with cameras on them? They can hardly shun or disown a child on national television: "Jessa decided she wanted to go to an accredited college, so we can't let her worldly influence corrupt our home any longer"

[Gil]

I think the problem is assuming that it's better to be married off to a stranger to tend to his every whim and need and pop out as many babies as possible.

Both seem like pretty shitty options to me. Maybe a girl could get lucky and marry a nice guy, maybe fundie lite -- or she could wind up married to a monster with no skills or tools to help her escape and all the people she looks up to telling her that she ought to submit to his authority. Not a gamble I envy.

[YPestis]

I'll vote for fundie royalty. At least then they have a easier life, a more comfortable lifestyle. As others stated, a bigger house, a nicer kitchen, a larger budget....it sure beats marriage by 20 and a dozen children by 40. Also, with reduced chances of courtship, it delays childbirth and increases chances of actually developing skills and outside interests (as allowed). Fundie women who are not married after waiting for Prince Charming may take up hobbies that can turn into businesses. Young girls like Anna Duggar have no opportunity to take up blogging or train to be midwives. They are weighed down by parental responsibilities that increases exponentially with each child.

I also think being fundie royalty means you have options of accepting suitors. Because of your higher profile, you can have more control of what type of boy to marry. A more proactive fundie girl may tell dad that she's interested in boy A vs boy B. A poor fundie girl may not have that option. Fundie royalty girls also have more leverage in the relationship. She's the daughter of X, so the courting boy/new husband feels deference to her. In a patriarchal society, the status of the father may be the only protection against controlling spouses. Furthermore, a higher profile the girl attracts better candidates. Yes, being fundie royalty also means you may have to "marry down" but it's better to marry "down" to a guy making $70k than marrying "up" to a guy barely cracking $40k.

[Bethella]

From my viewpoint, I agree with most of the posters above: Famous is better. BUT, from the viewpoint of these girls, it's going depend on how much cool-aid they've drunk. If they truly want to be wives and mothers, than being famous is an impediment to that. In that case they probably do want to be like all the other "normal" fundie girls who are getting married young and churning out boatloads of babies.