Lori Alexander: Don't Make Your Husband Into a Woman

[dairyfreelife]

The push to have sex because he needs it grates on me. Yes, having sex is important in a long term relationship or marriage, but most men know when their wife isn't in the mood and won't push it. She also ignores another issue entirely: Sexual issues. As a person with a condition that makes it painful, it makes Lori's and other fundie husbands seem like dicks. My bf knows it's painful and I'm going to have some ultrasounds and such to figure it out. In the mean time, he won't have any sex with me because he feels if we both aren't going to have any enjoyment, there's not much point. He refuses to do something that physically hurts me even though it's not his fault. And we are about equal in libido. I'm certain mine's not less.

[kayray]

Whoa, that is some crazy gender role stereotyping lady!

Instead of trying to get your husband to talk more, you will understand that he has used up his 10,000 words for the day and you still have 20,000 words left, so you will call your girlfriend.

I usually can't get my husband to STOP talking. I am the one that just wants to sit in my Laz-Y-Boy and watch my Damages/Doctor Who/Walking Dead/True Blood/Whatever and drinking my beer/wine/tea without interruption, ha. The man has about 100,000 words everyday. Why must he show so much interest in me and in sharing emotions and stuff. Ugh! :lol:

Instead of turning him down for sex again, you will understand that he has ten times the testosterone that you have and will be happy to meet that need for him.

What does it mean when he wants a raincheck? Last time I checked, sex should be a mutually chosen activity, and sometimes he is the one not in the mood, and I respect that. Sometimes I am the one not in the mood, and he respects that. When we are both in the mood, well we respect that too!

Instead of getting angry with him when he yells at the referee, you will smile and think he is just being a competitive man.

Um, okay. Not that my husband makes a habit of yelling at referees (and does not even really like watching sports), but even if he did think a call was stupid he is able to convey that without being cruel or condescending to a referee, and I don't get angry at him for feeling it was a wrong call. Heck, there are many times I am the one questioning a decision (see: me at UFC night at our local pub).

You will admire his masculine traits for now on instead of trying to make him into a woman.

Putting aside my pet peeve about the tendency to describe traits as "masculine" or "feminine" (why must they be categorized like that?), I do admire his traits, however others would categorize them. If I did not admire them, I would not be with him. I do not need to force myself to admire his traits since he's actually a great person. He's a well-rounded individual who, fortunately, does not decide whether something is "cool" based on whether it is "manly" or not. This is good, as I can't sew very well, and hate ironing, and he enjoys such things. Win-win.

Anyway, I get the idea here that "masculine" really is being used to say "neandethral/misogynist/cocky" traits, which is not really my definition of masculine.

You will understand when he doesn't notice your haircut or buy you flowers, but softly ask him if he likes your hair.

Well, I only cut my hair like once a year or so, but he notices. And he does buy me flowers. I also buy him flowers (he literally jumps up and down as he gets excited) and notice his haircuts (usually, sometimes not because short to me still looks short!).

Anyway, I checked last night and my husband still has a fully operational penis and no vagina in sight.

She makes it sound like much of her time is spent gritting her teeth together in order to get through the insufferability of her husband (who going by the trend of her posts I just assume to be a cocky asshole) and her miserable marriage. Yay for martyrdom! 31 years down, so hopefully there is a cookie at the end for her!

[marmalade]

Aww doesn't notice your haircut or buy your flowers? I feel sorry for this woman. She's obviously in a very unhappy relationship and thinks they are all like that. And if men do do those things, that means they are women? Interesting way of justifying your own poor relationship.

I wish people would stop pretending sex drive is a direct result of how much testosterone someone has. It's not.

She's just copying this blather from some lame book/blog she found. This shit, and other lame platitudes, seem to make the fundie merry-go-round every so often.

Zero points for originality.

[desertvixen]

So thanks, Lori, but I'll take the love of my life and my best friend over your stupid stereotype any time.

This. A real man who is secure in himself does not need me to endlessly fawn over him, and he doesn't need some stupid gender-specific bullshit checklist.

Plus, all these husbands who aren't getting enough sex could always try stuff like doing chores and taking a burden off their wife. Funny how that idea never occurs to anyone...

[Lady_M]

This. A real man who is secure in himself does not need me to endlessly fawn over him, and he doesn't need some stupid gender-specific bullshit checklist.

+1 to that.

My husband does the dishes, is better at laundry than I am, and loves to talk. Our personalities balance well, but we definitely don't meet the stereotypical gender roles Lori's trying to trump up.

[lilwriter85]

Whoa, that is some crazy gender role stereotyping lady!

I usually can't get my husband to STOP talking. I am the one that just wants to sit in my Laz-Y-Boy and watch my Damages/Doctor Who/Walking Dead/True Blood/Whatever and drinking my beer/wine/tea without interruption, ha. The man has about 100,000 words everyday. Why must he show so much interest in me and in sharing emotions and stuff. Ugh! :lol:

What does it mean when he wants a raincheck? Last time I checked, sex should be a mutually chosen activity, and sometimes he is the one not in the mood, and I respect that. Sometimes I am the one not in the mood, and he respects that. When we are both in the mood, well we respect that too!

Um, okay. Not that my husband makes a habit of yelling at referees (and does not even really like watching sports), but even if he did think a call was stupid he is able to convey that without being cruel or condescending to a referee, and I don't get angry at him for feeling it was a wrong call. Heck, there are many times I am the one questioning a decision (see: me at UFC night at our local pub).

Putting aside my pet peeve about the tendency to describe traits as "masculine" or "feminine" (why must they be categorized like that?), I do admire his traits, however others would categorize them. If I did not admire them, I would not be with him. I do not need to force myself to admire his traits since he's actually a great person. He's a well-rounded individual who, fortunately, does not decide whether something is "cool" based on whether it is "manly" or not. This is good, as I can't sew very well, and hate ironing, and he enjoys such things. Win-win.

Anyway, I get the idea here that "masculine" really is being used to say "neandethral/misogynist/cocky" traits, which is not really my definition of masculine.

Well, I only cut my hair like once a year or so, but he notices. And he does buy me flowers. I also buy him flowers (he literally jumps up and down as he gets excited) and notice his haircuts (usually, sometimes not because short to me still looks short!).

Anyway, I checked last night and my husband still has a fully operational penis and no vagina in sight.

She makes it sound like much of her time is spent gritting her teeth together in order to get through the insufferability of her husband (who going by the trend of her posts I just assume to be a cocky asshole) and her miserable marriage. Yay for martyrdom! 31 years down, so hopefully there is a cookie at the end for her!

I agree, several of Lori's posts pretty much tell that Ken is an asshole. But, on the other hand Lori also comes off as a huge asshole with her friends and family. Ken and Lori are made for each other. In some ways, they seem like older but less crazier versions of the PP and ZsuZsu.