Lori Alexander the Sex Ed Teacher

[lilwriter85]

Lori seems to be on a roll lately with her posts about sex and serving men. Today she tries to play sex teacher and she exagerrates certain things.

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/07/sex-without-commitment.html

Women aren't being taught all the painful consequences of promiscuity...sexual diseases, pregnancy, abortion, emotional trauma, etc. Women suffer from sex without the commitment of marriage. I don't care what the feminists have taught. They were wrong and their teachings have hurt women.

Lori, women are taught about the consequences of sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and abortion.

[xDreamerx]

I was taught about all of those potential consequences by the evil public school system. Even if they don't teach "emotional trauma" in class, one can easily see it in friends who are upset or your own ups and downs. Though most people wouldn't consider it "trauma" in every circumstance.

My favourite part is this: Men's testosterone levels are from 250 to 750, while women's levels are from 25-75. Yes, that's what makes them men. It doesn't mean they are innately more sexual despite what Lori (and even our culture at large) would have us believe. Gr.

[Maggie Mae]

Men's testosterone levels are from 250 to 750, while women's levels are from 25-75. We are different. Most men want sex a lot more than most women. Most women do want commitment when they give sex.

There are plenty of women I know personally that want sex more then their partner. This, coupled with the media's insistence that all men want sex all the time, leads to at least one failed marriage that I know of, and several very confusing conversations/ stress. I also know/have known women, including myself, who are able to separate sex from commitment. It doesn't make anyone a "slut"

And DUH on the testosterone levels. That's what makes men men and women women. That' why women who work out don't develop bulky muscles but are still strong.

[Witsec7]

There are plenty of women I know personally that want sex more then their partner. This, coupled with the media's insistence that all men want sex all the time, leads to at least one failed marriage that I know of, and several very confusing conversations/ stress. I also know/have known women, including myself, who are able to separate sex from commitment. It doesn't make anyone a "slut"

And DUH on the testosterone levels. That's what makes men men and women women. That' why women who work out don't develop bulky muscles but are still strong.

Men also get insurance coverage for testosterone supplements.

[TudorRose]

my public school, lesbian, feminist PE coach/Health teacher taught my class all about STDs, pregnancy and its risks, and the methods available for responsible sexing. (She also told us, "the only 100% method of birth control is not having sex, or 'abstinence.'" Specifically because of her lessons, I chose to remain a virgin much longer than most of my classmates.)

How can a woman who homeschools and advocates homeschooling for parents who love their children be SO SURE what women are being taught by feminists? How many feminists did she survey in her research into what they're teaching women? (who apparently AREn't the feminists she's talking about? lolwut)

[2xx1xy1JD]

I believe in the importance of commitment, but still feel the need to point out that all of those painful consequences can occur with marital sex as well.

[Just_Jane]

I was taught about sex and all it's risk by the public school system and the Oprah Winfrey show. My mom would use tv talk shows as a way to open up dialog on certian topics.

It always makes me laugh when I read things that make it seem that men want sex more than women. Ever since my biological clock has really started ticking I am almost climbing the walls at certian times of the month.

[lilah]

My abstinence only education was full of scare tactics to convince us that if we had sex outside marriage we'd immediately contact a disease and our genitals would wither away.

[jesssnerch]

my public school, lesbian, feminist PE coach/Health teacher taught my class all about STDs, pregnancy and its risks, and the methods available for responsible sexing. (She also told us, "the only 100% method of birth control is not having sex, or 'abstinence.'" Specifically because of her lessons, I chose to remain a virgin much longer than most of my classmates.)

How can a woman who homeschools and advocates homeschooling for parents who love their children be SO SURE what women are being taught by feminists? How many feminists did she survey in her research into what they're teaching women? (who apparently AREn't the feminists she's talking about? lolwut)

Same exact experience in public schools. I chose to lose my virginity at a young age and because of what I learned in health class, I knew how important condoms and birth control were and used them!

[Maggie Mae]

I went to Catholic School and we still learned about the different types of STDs and Pregnancy. Actually, they taught us so much about the STDs that I think we were MORE likely to have sex (unprotected because there was no access to condoms + shaming + statistical likelyhood if you use the 'rhythm' method :roll: ) because we learned about how 90% of them are treatable and AIDS is actually really hard to get as long as you aren't sleeping with people in high risk groups. :roll: :oops: :liar:

Also some teenagers think they are invincible and don't really listen anyway. If God really loves us he'll make sure that we won't "catch AIDS".

But either way, I learned a lot about stds. about the actual mechanics? not so much.

[heinz57]

FUCK YOU Lori.

I have had sex for pleasure, for fun and for other reasons without being married or even being in love, and have never fallen victim of sexual diseases, pregnancy, abortion or emotional trauma.

How? Thanks to precisely those feminist teachings: that all those things are potentially out there and there are ways to protect yourself from them. That it's my free choice what to do with my body, when, and with whom, and on what conditions.

So fuck you.

[lilwriter85]

FUCK YOU Lori.

I have had sex for pleasure, for fun and for other reasons without being married or even being in love, and have never fallen victim of sexual diseases, pregnancy, abortion or emotional trauma.

How? Thanks to precisely those feminist teachings: that all those things are potentially out there and there are ways to protect yourself from them. That it's my free choice what to do with my body, when, and with whom, and on what conditions.

So fuck you.

Love this posting. :clap:

[ADoyle90815]

FUCK YOU Lori.

I have had sex for pleasure, for fun and for other reasons without being married or even being in love, and have never fallen victim of sexual diseases, pregnancy, abortion or emotional trauma.

How? Thanks to precisely those feminist teachings: that all those things are potentially out there and there are ways to protect yourself from them. That it's my free choice what to do with my body, when, and with whom, and on what conditions.

So fuck you.

[luckystone]

There are plenty of women I know personally that want sex more then their partner. This, coupled with the media's insistence that all men want sex all the time, leads to at least one failed marriage that I know of, and several very confusing conversations/ stress. I also know/have known women, including myself, who are able to separate sex from commitment. It doesn't make anyone a "slut"

And DUH on the testosterone levels. That's what makes men men and women women. That' why women who work out don't develop bulky muscles but are still strong.

I've had a higher sex drive than each of my past partners...overall there might be a gender correlation but I think it's individual and you can't put it all down to hormones. Especially because we know it's a complicated interaction between different hormones and how they are received causing sex drive, not simply the quantity of testosterone. And then all the other stuff like how TIRED or BUSY you are or whatever. I really hate all these stereotypes because I get constantly told women like me don't exist, and that my partners don't exist either if they are sometimes too tired rather than always ready to go.

Also all those traumas she mention can still happen within marriage, as well as lots of lovely new traumas like being cheated on and suffering spousal abuse. The point of "feminist teachings" (if there is such a thing, with a point) is for women to be able to protect themselves, such as having access to birth control, having sex when they want, and being able to take care of themselves.

[fundiefan]

What the hell was I being taught when I learned about STD's and pregnancy and emotional maturity versus physical maturity if I wasn't being taught about the consequences of sex?

[bananacat]

my public school, lesbian, feminist PE coach/Health teacher taught my class all about STDs, pregnancy and its risks, and the methods available for responsible sexing. (She also told us, "the only 100% method of birth control is not having sex, or 'abstinence.'" Specifically because of her lessons, I chose to remain a virgin much longer than most of my classmates.)

This actually isn't true though for three reasons:

1) Rape is ridiculously common in our culture. You can have every intention to not have sex until marriage, but if a rapist targets you then you could pregnant or an STD.

2) This doesn't take into account the actual use versus ideal use. Most teens who intend to remain abstinent fail to do so. The effective rates of ideal use versus actual use are reported for all other types of protection, but never for abstinence. Just as it is unrealistic to believe that most women will take the pill exactly the right way (at the same time every day, never forgetting), it is also unrealistic that people who choose abstinence will always be perfectly abstinent.

3) You can abstain from PIV and still get diseases. Your teacher may have been clear about that, but most aren't. Plenty of people have ended up with diseases because they didn't know that other activities could spread them. It's quite possible to remain abstinent from sex and still be a technical virgin but get STDs anyway. It happens frequently.

[bananacat]

FUCK YOU Lori.

I have had sex for pleasure, for fun and for other reasons without being married or even being in love, and have never fallen victim of sexual diseases, pregnancy, abortion or emotional trauma.

How? Thanks to precisely those feminist teachings: that all those things are potentially out there and there are ways to protect yourself from them. That it's my free choice what to do with my body, when, and with whom, and on what conditions.

So fuck you.

But even if you had "fallen victim" to those things, so what? How is getting chlamydia worse than getting a really bad flu? It's ideal to prevent the diseases, but it's not shameful to get one and aside from HIV and a few strains of HPV, they're generally no more serious than diseases you get through other forms of contact. As for abortion, again it's not ideal but it's not some BFD. I lost a lot of weight which caused me to get gallstones, and that surgery was a lot more intensive than an abortion. Nobody would use that as a reason to say I shouldn't have lost the weight. Abortion is a medical procedure and a pretty routine and safe one at that. And again with the emotional trauma, so what if you did end up with some? Lots of things cause emotional trauma. That's life. Losing a job, seeing an elderly relative die, or having a fight with a close friend all cause emotional trauma. Why would it be so much worse if that happened in the context of a sexual encounter? It sucks but it's not like any of these things are more horrifying just because they're linked to sex.

[Guest Anonymous]

But even if you had "fallen victim" to those things, so what? How is getting chlamydia worse than getting a really bad flu? It's ideal to prevent the diseases, but it's not shameful to get one and aside from HIV and a few strains of HPV, they're generally no more serious than diseases you get through other forms of contact. As for abortion, again it's not ideal but it's not some BFD. I lost a lot of weight which caused me to get gallstones, and that surgery was a lot more intensive than an abortion. Nobody would use that as a reason to say I shouldn't have lost the weight. Abortion is a medical procedure and a pretty routine and safe one at that. And again with the emotional trauma, so what if you did end up with some? Lots of things cause emotional trauma. That's life. Losing a job, seeing an elderly relative die, or having a fight with a close friend all cause emotional trauma. Why would it be so much worse if that happened in the context of a sexual encounter? It sucks but it's not like any of these things are more horrifying just because they're linked to sex.

Doesn't chlamydia have the potential to cause serious fertility problems?

[JesusFightClub]

We had a thing back in the day when I was a kid called Section 2A which meant anything which could be seen as promoting homosexuality for schoolkids was banned. So when we had the Big Sex Talk at my state school (it wasn't discussed at my religious one) and it got to the Q&A session, some kids asked questions like "How does two wimmen dae it thegither?" and the nurse answered each time "I'm sorry, it's illegal for me to tell you that."

This led to a lot of confusion (and a lot of porn viewing) because we had to work it out ourselves (sometimes with a bit of practical experimentation :shhh: )

My mum campaigned against Section 2A and wrote a lot of letters to the papers and stuff. She reckons "it was wrong to refuse to tell children the answers to their perfectly reasonable questions." It's repealed now but I shudder to think of how many gay kids it messed with.

[heinz57]

But even if you had "fallen victim" to those things, so what? How is getting chlamydia worse than getting a really bad flu? It's ideal to prevent the diseases, but it's not shameful to get one and aside from HIV and a few strains of HPV, they're generally no more serious than diseases you get through other forms of contact. As for abortion, again it's not ideal but it's not some BFD. I lost a lot of weight which caused me to get gallstones, and that surgery was a lot more intensive than an abortion. Nobody would use that as a reason to say I shouldn't have lost the weight. Abortion is a medical procedure and a pretty routine and safe one at that. And again with the emotional trauma, so what if you did end up with some? Lots of things cause emotional trauma. That's life. Losing a job, seeing an elderly relative die, or having a fight with a close friend all cause emotional trauma. Why would it be so much worse if that happened in the context of a sexual encounter? It sucks but it's not like any of these things are more horrifying just because they're linked to sex.

You are right of course. I have had diseases, just not of sexual nature - it didn't make them any "better" or "purer" than STDs. I have had emotional trauma, just not provoked by sex - again, didn't make it any "purer".

My point was that women DON'T suffer from sex without the commitment of marriage. And I haven't precisely because of what I had been taught. And actually it's perfectly possible to suffer from STDs, pregnancy, abortion and emotional drama WITHIN marriage. Especially if you were only taught that your duty is to spread your legs on demand.

[TudorRose]

This actually isn't true though for three reasons:

1) Rape is ridiculously common in our culture. You can have every intention to not have sex until marriage, but if a rapist targets you then you could pregnant or an STD.

2) This doesn't take into account the actual use versus ideal use. Most teens who intend to remain abstinent fail to do so. The effective rates of ideal use versus actual use are reported for all other types of protection, but never for abstinence. Just as it is unrealistic to believe that most women will take the pill exactly the right way (at the same time every day, never forgetting), it is also unrealistic that people who choose abstinence will always be perfectly abstinent.

3) You can abstain from PIV and still get diseases. Your teacher may have been clear about that, but most aren't. Plenty of people have ended up with diseases because they didn't know that other activities could spread them. It's quite possible to remain abstinent from sex and still be a technical virgin but get STDs anyway. It happens frequently.

Going by your response, I'm guessing you missed my point -- which was that Coach M taught us exactly the things that Lori claims feminists don't teach, including recommending not having sex willy-nilly. I have no idea what the other students did with this education, but it was part of my decision-making as a teen/young adult. It worked for me, but I'm the only one I can speak for.

AFAIK, this was not "abstinence only" education--this was a comprehensive sex ed, that included abstinence as one option. it was before the HIV/AIDS outbreak, so we didn't get a lot of condom instruction. [Hm. The HIV/AIDS epidemic & resulting panic might have also contributed to my decision making--it's rarely just one thing that makes us behave a certain way]

[2xx1xy1JD]

Let's see how these risks apply to marital sex:

Pregnancy: Obviously, it can happen, especially if you've ditched the birth control. In fact, Lori pushes women to skip the birth control even when pregnancy would be a really, really bad idea from a medical or financial POV.

Diseases: You can be a "pure" as you like, but if you husband is not, you can get any disease from him. What's more, if you does sleep with someone, he probably will be less likely to tell you about it and won't be using condoms with you.

Emotional trauma: Abuse happens. Rape can happen within marriage. Marriages can end, through death or divorce. All of these things can be emotionally traumatic.

[wtfrenchtoast]

Soo that was a bunch of bullshit. My favorite part was this:

Women suffer from sex without the commitment of marriage.

FALSE. I just recently became sexually active with someone who isn't even my boyfriend! Le gasp! And I really thought that with my nature, I wouldn't be able to separate commitment from the sex. Wrong! We had sex on the second date and I'm not in love, I don't want to marry the guy, and honestly if this all goes to shit for whatever reason in the next few weeks I wouldn't care too much. Sex without commitment is doing just fine for me.

[Burris]

Women merely "suffer" sex and thus deserve the alleged stability of 'covenant marriage' as compensation for all the gross and dirty acts they need do to produce new weapons for the lawd.

Nice attitude, Lori. And you'll be passing that view on to your children as well. I'm sure the girls especially will thank you for the pitiless, mechanical, non-orgasmic, purely procreative sex they'll have once they've been given as chattel to some fundie "Command Man." (For fun sex, he'll employ some other woman - an individual he'll respect even less than he respects his wife, if that's possible - as he develops the Madonna/Whore complex you help to propagate.)

You're all a bunch of joyless misers - a fact made worse by your desire that everyone should live the teaspoon-shallow existence you've chosen for yourselves.

ETA: I don't think I personally could, or would want to, uncouple sex from emotional attachment and long-term commitment. The difference between me and Lori is that I don't expect everyone else should think or believe as I do about it. It's only ever from a weakened position that a woman would argue her sexual preferences should be normative "for the good of society." Lori obviously doesn't trust either herself or anyone else to make whatever decisions are best for them without there being some draconian and invasive law governing the ever-so-dangerous force of female sexuality.

[bananacat]

Doesn't chlamydia have the potential to cause serious fertility problems?

Yes, and the flue has the potential to cause serious problems too, including death. Nobody uses that as a reason to shame people who get the flu though. Every disease has risks and I never meant to imply that clamydia is always harmless. But it's less risky than many other common diseases that people get every day so it doesn't make sense to consider it a worse disease just because it's related to sex. Also, the risk of fertility problems increases if women wait longer to get treatment, which is usually due to shame/stigma, lack of knowledge, or lack of money. The first two of those things can be reduced by getting rid of the stigma around STDs.