Fast forward 20-30-40+ years. Fundie unmarried daughters...

[WonderingInWA]

I wish we had a "like" button.

Me, too. Great story!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I'm sure a very few will "break away" and start from scratch re-educating themselves. Some will marry late to some widower who wants a maid, cook, nanny and occasional sex. The rest will be the family drudge like in past generations. It IS sad. Some may have truly decent lives behind the scenes in the family business, too. And some may honestly not want to marry what's available to them or not want to birth all those kids. And, too, brothers may not "stay the course" once Daddy is gone.

It's just so sad that anyone would want to raise girls to have no other future.

Remember, too, this movement is just seeing it's first 20/30 somethings and that number is very small. Some of the families with a few teens will go thru hell with rebellion, etc., and wise up. Others may fall on such desparate hard times that a J-o-b is no longer a 4-letter word. It will be interesting to see how the Seven Sisters and others like them "turn out"

The Maxwell girls? Probably doomed.

[countressrascal]

With all these unmarried children both male and female why don't one of these fundies start a Matchmaking service? Now if anyone does I want royalists.

This is how the Orthdox Jews and a number of other cultures handle getting their SAHD married off. Problem solved.

[heinz57]

With all these unmarried children both male and female why don't one of these fundies start a Matchmaking service? Now if anyone does I want royalists.

This is how the Orthdox Jews and a number of other cultures handle getting their SAHD married off. Problem solved.

Nah, I claim the royalties! I made the suggestion here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11644

And I won't desist - this is my only plan to become rich someday!

[lilwriter85]

I'm sure a very few will "break away" and start from scratch re-educating themselves. Some will marry late to some widower who wants a maid, cook, nanny and occasional sex. The rest will be the family drudge like in past generations. It IS sad. Some may have truly decent lives behind the scenes in the family business, too. And some may honestly not want to marry what's available to them or not want to birth all those kids. And, too, brothers may not "stay the course" once Daddy is gone.

It's just so sad that anyone would want to raise girls to have no other future.

Remember, too, this movement is just seeing it's first 20/30 somethings and that number is very small. Some of the families with a few teens will go thru hell with rebellion, etc., and wise up. Others may fall on such desparate hard times that a J-o-b is no longer a 4-letter word. It will be interesting to see how the Seven Sisters and others like them "turn out"

The Maxwell girls? Probably doomed.

I think Sarah is the only one that is doomed. I think Steve will marry off Mary and Anna.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I could see some church possibly hiring Sarah with some kind of job, if

Not the churches I know--most want degrees! Of course, "their" type Church might help her as they would a widow.....

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I think Sarah is the only one that is doomed. I think Steve will marry off Mary and Anna.

Let's hope you are right and he's learned a valuable lesson and "gained more wisdom" from the mis-handling of Sarah!

[nokidsmom]

I agree that some of them will break away and find a better life for themselves but still I honestly shudder to think of the fates of less fortunate ones. Namely with no education, no work history and little socialization with people outside of fundiedom, I can help but think that some of them will really be screwed (yes, I thinking of Sarah Maxwell here). They will be either totally reliant on family and become the family slave or fall back on churches to support them, maybe living in the church basement a la Joanne.

I just find it astounding that in the 21st century, families are raising their daughters to be this helpless and are proud of it

[Markie]

I think that most of these SAHDs will have a long haul. Their parents had them when they were quite young and they don't smoke or drink; Steve and Teri appear to eat small, fairly healthy meals (not so much JB and ofJB). I can't see many of them kicking the bucket for many years. Someone, like Sarah, may be a SAHD for another 2 or 3 decades. I can see her then being a live in help for a more elderly fundy before quietly departing this earth. Very sad.

[kpmom]

I really don't know--this is one of the great fundie mysteries I wish we could solve.

I can imagine Sarah Maxwell, if she never marries, moving in with a sibling to help care for the sibling's youngest children. (I'm imagining this scenario playing out in 20+ years, not anytime soon.) But I can't wrap my mind around the idea that Sarah, or another single, middle-aged fundie daughter, would still be considered in need of protection, or that she could accept never, ever having a home of her own.

This will happen as soon as Steve passes away, whether it's 20 years from now or 5. If John and Jesse are still home, they'll become the "protectors", but if they are in their own homes, I think any of the females living at home will have to move in with the married brothers, Teri included.

They would not allow the females to live on their own.

[patsymae]

Well, in the past they were shipped off to be servants and governesses of suitable families, although as someone said given the lack of education and exposure it would seem that only their own group would allow them to care for children. So, for example, if the jslaves ever actually go off and get married, and grandma gets to infirm to do laundry as a full-time job, somebody else's SAHD could go live with them and do the chores in return for a bed in a room with 10 other people, all the Tater Tot casserole you'd ever want, and JBood's presence to assure their chastity.

Or else--Lizzie Borden ring a bell?

[darkplumaged]

This will happen as soon as Steve passes away, whether it's 20 years from now or 5. If John and Jesse are still home, they'll become the "protectors", but if they are in their own homes, I think any of the females living at home will have to move in with the married brothers, Teri included.

They would not allow the females to live on their own.

Well, but if Steve is dead but Teri is alive, who would mandate that all of the women, Teri included, would have to live with Maxwell men? Only Steve seems to be that wacko. Even though the "kids" are very indoctrinated, I don't think the married sons would want to give up the teeny shred of independence they have by demanding that Teri live with one of them, assuming she's still in good health. They live so close that they can check on her every day, even twice a day, if she stays in her own home.

Now, once both Steve and Teri are gone, it's pretty certain that any still-unmarried daughters would go live with a sibling. It's hard to imagine Sarah being "allowed" to stay in the family home by herself, even if she were 55 years old--unless Steve shuffles off this mortal coil well before Teri does, and the family tones down the cray cray after his passing.

[nokidsmom]

Well, but if Steve is dead but Teri is alive, who would mandate that all of the women, Teri included, would have to live with Maxwell men? Only Steve seems to be that wacko. Even though the "kids" are very indoctrinated, I don't think the married sons would want to give up the teeny shred of independence they have by demanding that Teri live with one of them, assuming she's still in good health. They live so close that they can check on her every day, even twice a day, if she stays in her own home.

Now, once both Steve and Teri are gone, it's pretty certain that any still-unmarried daughters would go live with a sibling. It's hard to imagine Sarah being "allowed" to stay in the family home by herself, even if she were 55 years old--unless Steve shuffles off this mortal coil well before Teri does, and the family tones down the cray cray after his passing.

Steve's brand of crazy is so unique that I can't see any one member of his family being able to continue it even if they tried. In fact, I would like to bet when he passes on, they would grieve of course, but they would also be secretly relieved.

It's sad that it can take a death of a family member who wields immense power and authority for other members to gain the freedom to live their own lives, but it happens all the time. It's the just Maxwells are really in a class by themselves.

[socalrules]

I think that when the crazy patriarch, such as Steve Maxwell, passes on, the craziness will slowly subside. They may stay conservative, but it’s unlikely they would still be super fundy. I think you need someone on your ass everyday to stay that way. Their world will change because they are forced to accept change. You no longer have crazy daddy telling you that you are going to hell if you glance at a member of the opposite sex who doesn’t share your DNA. Right now, Steve has a say in everything they do. He controls the money and their access to any and everything. With him gone, they would have to start thinking for themselves. Venturing out to places they never had to go. Even being able to go to the grocery store alone or being allowed to make little choices we take for granted, will change their world. Sometimes, I think it is not so much the fear of God that drives the wives and children. I think fear of disappointing Daddy can be the driving force to staying on the fundy path.

To be honest, I think they may be a little relieved. I cannot imagine the stress of having to live in Steve’s perfect world of fundy crazy. I would hope that Terri would be able to once again enjoy her beloved Pepsi.

[bananacat]

I think that when the crazy patriarch, such as Steve Maxwell, passes on, the craziness will slowly subside. They may stay conservative, but it’s unlikely they would still be super fundy. I think you need someone on your ass everyday to stay that way. Their world will change because they are forced to accept change. You no longer have crazy daddy telling you that you are going to hell if you glance at a member of the opposite sex who doesn’t share your DNA. Right now, Steve has a say in everything they do. He controls the money and their access to any and everything. With him gone, they would have to start thinking for themselves. Venturing out to places they never had to go. Even being able to go to the grocery store alone or being allowed to make little choices we take for granted, will change their world. Sometimes, I think it is not so much the fear of God that drives the wives and children. I think fear of disappointing Daddy can be the driving force to staying on the fundy path.

To be honest, I think they may be a little relieved. I cannot imagine the stress of having to live in Steve’s perfect world of fundy crazy. I would hope that Terri would be able to once again enjoy her beloved Pepsi.

That's all well and good, but personal fulfillment and freedom won't be much help for a 60 year-old woman who has no money, education, or work experience. That's where the problem comes in.

[ElphabaGalinda]

That's all well and good, but personal fulfillment and freedom won't be much help for a 60 year-old woman who has no money, education, or work experience. That's where the problem comes in.

This is why the only Maxwell I possibly have some hope for is Mary. She's young enough that it's possible that when Steve dies she'll be in her early 30s where it's not beyond the realm of possibility that she can have a more normal (though likely still fundie ish life.) I also have a little more hope for Steve's grandchildren because although I doubt they'll ever get to have a normal life, but when Steve dies they'll definitely be young enough that they'll be able to have what some might call fun.

I fear it's too late for Sarah, and definitely too late for Teri to have what some might call fun, or a real life. It's sad that even the Maxwells that have a chance to have a different life, my hopes for them aren't that different from what they have. I'd just hope they at least have a chance to have a little fun and interact with people outside their family, even if they're like minded people.

[Bethella]

Is it wrong of me to wonder if they might turn into the fundy version of cougars? Specifically they would end up marrying all the young boys men who, due to their messed up upbringing, are afraid of girls their own age. These men could then marry these older SAHDs, it would be just like marrying their mothers but without the nasty problem of incest. :roll: At least this possibility would reduce or even eliminate their potential children.

[YPestis]

The problem I see is if Teri continues the crazy in the family. She seems pretty complicit in all the restrictions they have. I can see her still expecting everyone to toe the line for years after Steve's passing. My hope is for one of the girls to marry out to a less fundie family and escape the Maxwell craziness. My hope for the guys is to have them move away, marry a less fundie girl and slowly start their own fundie tradition away from Steve's craziness. Slowly, as the family spread out, the fundie craziness will be limited to when they have to come back to visit the Maxwell parents. Poor Sarah, she may never leave that nuthouse at this point.

[kpmom]

What have you all seen among the married brothers that would make you believe they will behave any different when Steve passes away?

They seem like they're all in lockstep to me. I just don't believe they're just waiting for Steve to die in order to lighten up.

[desertvixen]

The SAHD are the saddest part of the fundie/patriarchy system. This was a system set up back in the days when women had limited economic prospects and required a man to provide for them. Our current economic system, while still set up with the male-breadwinner ideal, no longer sees women as helpless and expects them to care for themselves to a certain extent. The result is a group of women who have acquired a learned helplessness in a world where they are expected to fend for themselves. Talk about a fish out of water.

That, and they ignore the fact that the upper-class types they are trying to emulate put in a lot of time trying to get their children married off. Giving your daughter a Season, providing opportunities for her to meet suitable young men in appropriate settings - the mothers/wives especially put in a lot of work that these families are NOT.

[salsa]

They haven't really thought this through completely, because even contemplating this type of thing is considered a sign that they don't trust God enough. They're expected to just repeat over and over "God will provide. God will provide." and then hope for the best.

It's not necessary to think it though completely; the Lord will provide.

[Justme]

Back in the "old days", they'd also send unmarried daughters to Convents.

[Letgo]

Back in the "old days", they'd also send unmarried daughters to Convents.

A convent?!!?? With evil Catholics? How dare you suggest such a thing! Your headship needs to haul out the plumbing line.

Perhaps the unmarried SAHDs could go work for VF in some intern-like capacity in the retraining camps where they could be properly isolated and be a precious encouragement to young women as they fellowship about the sweet joys and blessings of singleness forever.

[sassycupcake]

The problem I see is if Teri continues the crazy in the family. She seems pretty complicit in all the restrictions they have. I can see her still expecting everyone to toe the line for years after Steve's passing. My hope is for one of the girls to marry out to a less fundie family and escape the Maxwell craziness. My hope for the guys is to have them move away, marry a less fundie girl and slowly start their own fundie tradition away from Steve's craziness. Slowly, as the family spread out, the fundie craziness will be limited to when they have to come back to visit the Maxwell parents. Poor Sarah, she may never leave that nuthouse at this point.

Your wish is coming true! Joe is moving a WHOLE .75 MILES from the compound! To a girl who has been photographed IN PANTS!

But unless God Steve suddenly lays Sarah on an Arndt boy's heart, I don't think there's any hope for her.

[RachelB]

A convent?!!?? With evil Catholics? How dare you suggest such a thing! Your headship needs to haul out the plumbing line.

Perhaps the unmarried SAHDs could go work for VF in some intern-like capacity in the retraining camps where they could be properly isolated and be a precious encouragement to young women as they fellowship about the sweet joys and blessings of singleness forever.

My first thought was that they'd be put on the staff of a place like Hepzibah House. Because what an indoctrination camp like that really needs is an influx of people with barely repressed rage and very few options. (Candidly, I think this is the worst thing that could happen, both for SAHDs and for the inmates of those camps. But since the whole system runs on abuse...)