I'm making my first attempt to cook rice in my Instant Pot. I am completely incapable of making rice that isn't either mush or crunchy, no matter what I do. Here's what I have done so far:
1 c. wild rice
2 c. water
1tsp better than bullion veggie because it sounded good.
Put in pot and set to 25 min per https://www.platingsandpairings.com/cook-perfect-rice-instant-pot/.
Prayed Rufus' blessing on my endeavour.
Blogged about it on FJ. Updates to foll
It's the last full chapter YAY, so let's get this moving.
Luna status: I've been abandoned in favor of mister destiny because he has string cheese and apparently a kitten has to have her priorities. I feel so unloved. :-P
Wine: naw, just my water bottle. I might have a glass with dinner tonight to celebrate being done with this shitshow, but haven't decided yet.
New character today! George Wakefield. He's the pastor of the local Baptist church. Let's call him Pastor Confused. Art
Couple of housekeeping things: there's a final chapter that's another regurgitation of the whole book. I'm gonna skip it because we've see it all before. Also, there's an interlude chapter that's some sort of weird attempt at a Song of Solomon type of story that scares me in its incomprehensibility and awfulness, along with being pointless, that I'm going to skip. I'm honestly not sure what purpose it serves other than maybe as the book's sex scene, and that's too awful to contemplate. With that
Luna status: close supervision of the mommy!
Wine status: I'm working on this when it's cold and thinking about snowing, so chamomile tea.
New character today! Abe Adamson, Asshole Plot Device's dad. Let's call him Smeghead (h/t to @dawbs for that idea). Artist's rendition (courtesy of @OnceUponATime):
We are back in the god damned park. Hooray! Smeghead wanders over to Nosy Busybody and asks him if he is nosy busybody. Ok, WTF? I live in a pretty small town, and there's usua
Luna status: couch related comfort a few feet away. One of my other cats is helping me with this one. Proof! (He's enjoying the warm generator today)
Wine: not at the moment, but mimosas later maybe?
Today, we are going to learn how to gain oneness. It seems to me that oneness is being used as a euphemism for compatibility, but it's too early to tell yet.
Salesman Headship and Nosy Busybody are sitting at the kitchen table. Too bad. I was sorta hoping that S
Ok, here's hoping today's chapter is better than yesterday's! I made sure to take out my contacts first just in case this one made me cry, because ain't nobody got time for ruining contacts for this mess.
Luna status: Sleeping next to me. There's a warm generator (fire going in the fireplace) that's relevant to her interests.
Wine status: Naw, but I'm not really in the mood for some at the moment so there's that? Bright side, I *could* have a glass if I wanted - we are past the unplea
Ok. Let's get this show on the road.
Luna status: helping daddy adult in the office.
Wine status: still no. I'm drinking unsweetened almond milk instead. SO not the same. :/
New character today! Pat, AKA Salesman Headship. Artist's rendition (thanks @OnceUponATime!):
We start today's clusterfuck at Nosy Busybody's house. I know I said something about this before, but this interaction enrages me:
YES IT FUCKING IS. Ok, so this afternoon, I planned this weekend's dinn
I sat down to write this at 2pm my time. It's now 4pm, and I have 1) installed a new game on my phone and played it for a while, 2) watched an episode of Bones, 3) done dishes, and 4) spent 20 minutes deciding how I was going to redecorate the upstairs bathroom. I hate this project, and wish it had never come to me (yes, I know I volunteered for it, but run with the Lord of the Rings reference dammit! :-P ). Thankfully, this chapter is only four pages, so hopefully my suffering will be brief.
So, at @choralcrusader8613's suggestion, I printed this whole clusterfuck of fail, just so I could set fire to it when I'm done. Just thought you guys should know. Also, Mister destiny has started his diet again and I'm being supportive, so I am doing this shit sober today. THIS is love FJ!
The title of this chapter is irrationally bothering me. Courting Parents? Are his parents courting? Are one of the protagonists result of *gasp* unwed sex? I mean, I *think* know what he was TRYING to sa
I started reading this chapter at noon my time, so the beginning, at least, of this mess will be done sober. Captain Courtship and Nosy Busybody are sitting together. One would assume in the same fucking park, but this shitty shitty writer didn't bother setting his scene. I know I shouldn't expect better because he's proven himself to be such a shit writer, but JFC couldn't SOMEONE have edited this shit to have it make fucking SENSE? Even fan fiction writers who write for FREE know they need bet
Ok, so remember when, like MONTHS ago, I said I was going to try to get this shitshow finished in the next couple of days? I lied. I can't even say that it was a couple of months. Baby Luna is now my beautiful grown up girl, and is not interested in helping mommy write this AT ALL. Anyway, I have a glass of wine, so let's get this shitshow on the road. When last we left our intrepid heroes, it seemed as though Nosy Busybody was trying (and succeeding) to convince Captain Courtship (the youth pas
Disclaimer: It has been a while since I have thought about this clusterfuck of fail. Like, I had to go look up what I named Captain Courtship, because I totally couldn't remember. Ah, the sweet bliss of forgetfulness.
Wine: none, because this chapter is boring as fuck and I don't want to fall asleep. Luna has decided to stop sleeping through the night. I'm sure anyone who has kitten parented know how this story goes.
Ok, so, you know how I said I was going to do Part 2 of this chapter
Disclaimer: this chapter is all boring walls of text. I'll do my best to make it interesting, but I may not be successful.
Wine: naw, it would just make me fall asleep, cos this shit is boring.
We have another new character today! Captain Courtship, the youth pastor at Good Girl and Barren Spinster's church. Um, Barren Spinster is 32. Why does she have a youth pastor? Maybe I need some wine after all. Artist's rendition:
Back in the god damned park. I may end up becoming a full
Disclaimer: I am in a fantastic mood today. I'm taking the first day off from the second volunteer job I have taken in a couple weeks, and I'm sitting on my deck with a glass of wine writing this. Current View:
Wine: I have a glass for sipping.
Ok, for starters, it has been pointed out to me that this pile of horseshit has a 4 and 5 rating on Goodreads and Amazon. If you feel the direction of the lord calling you to do so, I think we should do something about that.
Today, we are
Disclaimer: I'm starting this sober, because I have a meeting for second full time volunteer job in an hour. Also, this chapter is even grosser than the previous chapters, and I can see a case for it being triggering, so make your own decisions on reading.
Wine: none right now, but since I won't get this finished before I have to leave for meeting, I'm sure that will change on the back half.
Characters: We have Good Girl, and a new one, Space Invader. Here she is (one again courtesy of
Disclaimer: I have had a super shitty day, and I'm having none of Nosy Busybody's HORSESHIT today.
Wine: Full bottle. Plan your grammar expectations accordingly.
Glass number one commencing. OK, let's do this! Today, we don't have an illustration. Alas. Also, no new characters are introduced today, but Ebil Whore is mentioned, so I'm going to take the liberty of reminding you again what she looks like:
We are back in the park. Is there NO other place to hang out in this town tha
Disclaimer: I'm starting this chapter at 12:15 AM my time, so apologies in advance for grammar and spelling failures. I probably won't get this finished before I pass out, but I'm gonna give it a go. Wine status: none.
The awesomely amazing @OnceUponATime has made us illustrations of our characters. This chapter will have Nosy Busybody, The Good Girl, and Asshole Plot Device. Here's an artist's rendering:
Asshole Plot Device:
The Good Girl:
Before we start this clusterfuck of a chapter, wine status: glass is full. There is no way to read this shit sober. Warning: it IS as bad as you are imagining. Go ahead and grab the fortifying beverage of your choice. I'll wait. :-P With that, let's go meet Teh Ebil Whore!
We open the chapter with a pencil (I think? I'm no art major.) drawing of a city street, complete with high rise buildings. No idea why, because, for some reason, Boring Plot Device is INTENTIONALLY having lunch with Nosy
Because I am starting the read of this shitfest at noon my time, I am doing this sober. Therefore, you can expect even more fucks than last time, because wow. Just fucking wow.
We open at the park again. For some reason, Boring Plot Device decided to go back there. Personally, if I had Nosy Busybody show up and start bothering me in this park, I would never ever go back there again. Granted, I am an antisocial asshole to start with, but if some creeper showed up and started bothering me abo
No, the title of this entry is NOT an error - that really is the name of the first "chapter". I'm already feeling like this is a terrible idea.
First, my general feelings on the layout and construction of this book. It seems as though he was selling the book for actual money on Amazon (I didn't confirm this because fuck having a bunch of similar to this bullshit show up in my account for the next 29834739 years), so he could have spent some BASIC time authoring the ebook properly. There isn
Because I apparently hate myself, and am a glutton for punishment, I downloaded Captain Let Them Marry's book. Prepare for rants, probably fueled by altogether too much wine.
Now, if you have hung out with me at all, you probably know I'm an unashamed lover of fanfiction. That said, I am pretty damn good at NOPEing the hell out if a fic sucks. I opened the PDF, and immediately wanted to NOPE.
THIS FUCKER IS A DIALOG ONLY FANFIC! SEND HELP AND WINE.
Here's a selection of this beaut
Feline Headship #1: hi mom, I'd like you to kiss my head and tell me how pretty I am and pet me please.
Me: but I'm in the middle of cleaning right now, can I do these things later?
Feline Headship: no, now please.
Me: Nope. I'll pet you in a while.
Feline Headship: *knocks over the things I was trying to clean* YOU WERE GONE FOR TWO FUCKING WEEKS NOW PET ME AND TELL ME I AM PRETTY HUMAN SL
I have only been awake a short while (yay I actually slept last night) but I woke up with Feline Headship #1 on my head and Feline Headship #2 on my back. All attempts to get them to move have failed. Send help!
This is what it feels like right now.
(Image is courtesy of starbucks.com)
So, apparently Starbuck's redcups this year are a part of the "War on Christmas". This year, the cups are just red with the Starbuck's logo. In the past, they have had Christmas ornaments, or stars, or some sort of decoration on them. This led to calls for a boycott of Starbuck's, and a particularly hilarious blog post from Breitbart.com that went on about how Starbuck's is "whitewashing" Christmas.
And here I just thought it was a semi-uninspired design fo
I'm so excited for you guys to see what we have been working on for so long. I hope you all love it!
Thanks so much to @HerNameIsBuffy, who wrote nearly all the fancy documentation and how to materials for this new site. She is a rockstar, and her help made things so much easier.
Welcome to your new home FJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!