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Today, In I Read It So You Don't Have To


Destiny

1,613 views

Because I apparently hate myself, and am a glutton for punishment, I downloaded Captain Let Them Marry's book. Prepare for rants, probably fueled by altogether too much wine.

Now, if you have hung out with me at all, you probably know I'm an unashamed lover of fanfiction. That said, I am pretty damn good at NOPEing the hell out if a fic sucks. I opened the PDF, and immediately wanted to NOPE.

THIS FUCKER IS A DIALOG ONLY FANFIC! SEND HELP AND WINE.

Here's a selection of this beautiful dialog from page one:

Quote

Sakal: Yes, your pastor told us about most of the families, and gave us one of your directories with the pictures in them, so I recognized you. [Indicating the phone] So, is there something wrong with your phone?

Andrew: Yes, it won’t tell me who to call!

Sakal: [Chuckling] Your phone?! No, it won’t; it is a machine. It has no purpose, no goals. You want to call someone because you are human; you have purposes and goals. As soon as you determine your purpose for making your call, you will know who you should call... or whether you should call anyone at all.

SEND HELP.

  • Upvote 9

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Destiny

Posted

I'm probably gonna do one "chapter" per day so I don't die of alcohol poisoning. Chapter 1 features the sterotypical 'slut who tries to push the good Christian boy too far' character. It's every bit as offensive as you are envisioning.

  • Upvote 3
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Fascinated

Posted

@Destiny, I, too, thank you.  Because this is gold. C'mon, that is really, really good stuff right there.  I am salivating awaiting your next installment. 

  • Upvote 2
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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I still can't believe he wrote a book. Be very careful @Destiny. We really need you to not die of alcohol poisoning! :56247953c05d2_32(6):

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AmazonGrace

Posted

Come on stay with the times... no one calls anyone anymore, we have whatsapp.

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  • Posts

    • KWLand

      Posted

      1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

      I don’t think she announced it on her social media yet. I think she might’ve let it slip when ordering something with the baby’s name on it.

      Gotcha.  I don’t follow her but see reddit posts about her and couldn’t remember where I saw the name.

      If it is Amaree, it’s the first “non-noun as a name” name for awhile, right,  I can’t remember them all—anchor, armor, anthym, aynjel, are the four I remember that are other words.  Then andre, arissa (is is anissa?), anniston (i will never be convinced it’s not after jennifer anniston).  So I’m missing 3.   

      Anyway, lucky kid gets a normal name if it’s amaree 

    • RebeccaRay

      Posted

      Norma Roberts is engaged. Both sure on his name

    • FilleMondaine

      Posted

      Something made me look up the Boyer Girls on FJ, and there was a post in the previous baby thread, so I couldn’t quote—sorry!

      I saw that Brigid is now a doula, with Brijeedoula. And wouldn’t you know it, she has another insta called evespromise. That handle is…like, was Eve really into birthing babies, or is ‘promise ’ a try-hard sublimation of ‘curse’? For a fundie Christian, the handle actually sounds threatening!

    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      14 minutes ago, KWLand said:

      i think she announced it’d be Amaree,

      I don’t think she announced it on her social media yet. I think she might’ve let it slip when ordering something with the baby’s name on it.

      • Thank You 1
    • JermajestyDuggar

      Posted

      4 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

      122 days and counting but now with a price drop of $150K.

      Guys, it's a STEAL at $1,800,000.

       

       

      There are very few buyers on the market looking for a compound. Sure there are plenty of cults in the US who would love it but they probably don’t have that kind of money. 

      • I Agree 1


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