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Destiny31's Corner

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What Are You Doing? Chapter 7: Courting Delays.

Disclaimer: I am in a fantastic mood today. I'm taking the first day off from the second volunteer job I have taken in a couple weeks, and I'm sitting on my deck with a glass of wine writing this. Current View:

Spoiler

IMG_1978.jpg

Wine: I have a glass for sipping.

Ok, for starters, it has been pointed out to me that this pile of horseshit has a 4 and 5 rating on Goodreads and Amazon. If you feel the direction of the lord calling you to do so, I think we should do something about that. :)

Today, we are meeting a new character, the Barren Spinster. Granted, shes only thirty-two years old, but think of all the babies she could have had if her daddy had sold her on Bridal!Ebay. Artist's rendering:

Spoiler

Beth.png.26b98e81305d2c9bc9397c80af435199.png

Illustration is another set of houses. We get it, this park is in a weird place that's bordered both by high rise buildings and average neighbourhoods. Let's mix it up a little, shall we? Oy. Anyway, we are back in the damned park and seriously, does anyone ever go anywhere but the park in this town? Why couldn't this chapter have happened in, I dunno, the produce section at Kroger or something? I hate this book.

Anyway, for some stupid reason, Good Girl is at the park with her cousin, Barren Spinster, HOPING to run into Space Invader. Why the actual fuck would anyone hope for that? Good Girl wants Space Invader to hear more about courtship from Barren Spinster. Um, again, if Good Girl honestly chose courtship, why doesn't she understand it and and why can't she defend it? Anyway, Barren Spinster name drops Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson and goes on about how it gives such a "Biblical way to get married," and mentions that she has courted. Space Invader says uh, no, it's not terribly biblical at all, and for once I agree with her.

Space Invader asks how long Barren Spinster has been married, and Barren Spinster says that she isn't. Space Invader is all ......., but I thought you courted? Barren Spinster says that not all courtships have to end in marriage, and tells us that her first courtship was when she was eighteen and her dad broke it off because the man didn't have what was needed to support her. Apparently he's still supporting himself doing odd jobs fourteen years later. I hate hate hate this idea of dad gets to decide who the woman can court, but this doesn't seem like a terribly bad idea to break it off. The larger question is why the heck did daddy approve this relationship to start with? Methinks daddy needs to reread the courtship manuals.

The second courtship was with someone from another church, and was broken off by the man because of doctrinal differences. Space Invader, is of course, saddened that Barren Spinster hasn't married and proceeded to pump out 38493724382 babies. I mean, you never know, he might have changed his mind on doctrine in the future, cos marrying expecting the person to change NEVER ends badly. We get it book, no one should look at pesky little things like religious beliefs or ability to eat when looking for a life partner. I can't imagine how unhappy people who marry under this clusterfuck end up.

Quote

Beth: [Breezily] Oh, we don’t call them failed courtships.liii That’s part of the whole courtship process, you know, part of making sure the eventual marriage really is in the Lord’s will.

Isha: Oh? If you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?

Beth: [After a pause] I’m thirty-two.

Isha: And you don’t think a system that has left you unmarried and barren at thirty-two has failed?

Beth: [Shocked] I... I’m still hoping... [Bursts into tears]

Isha: I’m sure you are dear, [Hugs her] and I’m sorry for you.

Oh. My. God. BOUNDARIES. Also, unmarried and barren? There's more to life than being married and pumping out umpteenth babies, but it's pretty clear that Space Invader doesn't think so. What a horrible fucking thing to say. She's just as much of an asshole as her husband. I just can't with this whole exchange.

After this clusterfuck of dialog, we move on to talk about how courtship is leaving behind a bunch of unmarried girls and what a tragedy that is. I mean, think of all the eggs that aren't being fertilised! God, I hate these people. Barren Spinster takes her leave, and Good Girl and Space Invader talk about how they both hope that Good Girl doesn't end up a barren spinster too. *gag.

With that, we are done with this chapter.

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CTRLZero

Posted

It was nice to wake up from a wine-induced snooze on my own back deck to see your latest installment.  The first thing I note is that Barren Spinster's arms are modestly sheathed.

Well, as we read earlier, the whole world knows about Bill Gothard *ahem*, but the latest product placement is "Her Hand in Marriage by Douglas Wilson".  I found this on Amazon, and the blurb states that "Biblical courtship provides a wonderful freedom."  Well, of course it does.  If you tamp down your own critical thinking skills in favor of your captor father, your brain cells and personal desires can quietly roam at will.  I wouldn't mind looking over Wilson's manifest, but it will be a cold day in hell before I fork over the equivalent price of a decent six-pack of beer to read his work.

Isha: And you don’t think a system that has left you unmarried and barren at thirty-two has failed?

Gaah!  What is the difference between Isha's system and Barren Spinster's system?  They are both daddy-driven drivel.  Really.  I don't get it.

I couldn't find Ohlman's book at Amazon (on my Kindle).  I'd love to post a review otherwise...

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Destiny

Posted

I found it by accident last night. It's definitely on good reads, and I'm pretty sure I found it on Amazon but wine. 

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OnceUponATime

Posted (edited)

The name dropping is quite bad in this book. If he had put some more effort into it we could have played a game called "Who's who of FJ-snarked upon Fundies" but alas, he only did a half-arsed job.

So to footnote on "Oh, we don’t call them failed courtships" leads to this really cool article (yes that is sarcasm). Anyway, FJ's learning goal of the week is apparently to realize that there is no such thing as a failed courtship. Even if the couple in question don't get married, they still won, simply because they heard God say 'no, hold your horses, this is not who I want for you at this moment in time!'.

Quote

[...]rather than viewing the situation as a failed courtship, I would have you see it as a miracle of God. I know some folks think bringing God into any relationship is kind of archaic, but God could really be saving you from the mistake that living together would have been.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4143525

I actually had a moment of sadness for Beth right about here:

Quote

Isha: And how do you feel about not having married him?
Beth: I, umm, well. I know I shouldn’t, but I often think about him… what it
would have been like to have been married to him.

I mean seriously, her dad says "hey, you can court him <read think of marrying him in a few months time>". So they get to know each other, fall in love ( they're not allowed to admit it but I bet it happens) and then "yeah, nah, sorry, no marriage". The guy should have just driven off with her to Vegas and eloped. Seriously! Why didn't they do that? she could now be 32 with 12 kids of her own being supported by odd job ministry man awaiting the next tacky birth announcement. Probably traveling around in an RV grifting as well as all the grifters do, possibly landing a rival tv show to the BuB and XKaC.

Quote

Beth: Oh, yes. Not many quite as old as I am, but lots of girls are unmarried

This seemed like quite a dig at some of our followed SAHD fundies...

But at least these people have some sort of emotions even if they have no boundaries whatsoever.
And Good girl pissed me off by pitying her cousin: "Maydyn: [Watching her go] That must be so hard. I hope I don’t end up like that.".

My 'fav' line "You’ve shown me that courtship is a system which calls being a thirty-two year old woman barren and unmarried a ‘success’." because pretty much they would have been better off (for their goal of having kids/get married) to have dated and not courted. Why? because all dating relationships contain fornication (from previous chapters) which would actually increase the chances of at least having achieved one of those goals (probably both when the girls dad grabs the shotgun and forces the guy to marry his knocked up daughter).

 

The amazon link Pretty much the illustration on the front cover is cut into pieces and used for about 80% of the chapter 'illustrations'

Edited by OnceUponATime

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CTRLZero

Posted

11 hours ago, Destiny said:

I found it by accident last night. It's definitely on good reads, and I'm pretty sure I found it on Amazon but wine. 

I followed the link OnceUponATime provided and it is on Amazon, but only in paperback.  The reviews are over-the-top leghumperish. 

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CTRLZero

Posted

Quote:

Isha: I’m sure you are dear, [Hugs her] and I’m sorry for you.

Another quick question.  Isha seems rather smug.  Are there details on her (i.e., same age as Barren Spinster, has many children, why is she out without her headship, etc.)?

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Destiny

Posted

41 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

Quote:

Isha: I’m sure you are dear, [Hugs her] and I’m sorry for you.

Another quick question.  Isha seems rather smug.  Are there details on her (i.e., same age as Barren Spinster, has many children, why is she out without her headship, etc.)?

As of chapter 7, we know she has been married to Nosy Busybody for twenty years and they have eight children. No indication of what she is doing outside Nosy Busybody's umbrella of protection. I mean, without her husband there she might get into all sorts of trouble!

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OnceUponATime

Posted

1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

The reviews are over-the-top leghumperish. 

:omg::Yes:

The thing I really don't get is this book is really really boring. And it really isn't that informative. It does not contain enough information in the text to make any real good built up arguments to convince anyone of what they're going for(lets face it, if I am not reading the footnotes  then pretty much no one is). So unless you already strongly believe this, and thus read it as a confirmation of your whacked up beliefs, ok, that might do something for you. But I doubt that anyone else can get anything out of it apart from nausea, alcohol poisoning or a SEVERE loss of braincells. YMMV :shrug:

(if you want a pdf version it is free from some weird website. I'm pretty sure they increase your spam emails though,  f'ers. )

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Destiny

Posted

3 minutes ago, OnceUponATime said:

The thing I really don't get is this book is really really boring. And it really isn't that informative. It does not contain enough information in the text to make any real good built up arguments to convince anyone of what they're going for(lets face it, if I am not reading the footnotes  then pretty much no one is).

AGREE! There really isn't enough information here, and the presentation is alternately boring as hell and rage inducing.

1 minute ago, OnceUponATime said:

(if you want a pdf version it is free from some weird website. I'm pretty sure they increase your spam emails though,  f'ers. )

This. I used a throwaway email and it's getting a ton more spam. I know correlation is not causation, but.....

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THERetroGamerNY

Posted

Basically, this is the impression I'm getting from this sicko. Courtships are too strict. Daddy's approval is set too high. So, just kinda dump all of that, marry random people, and we'll all make far more babies that way.

I mean, honestly! That is exactly what I get from it. Just... Repugnant.

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Destiny

Posted

Honestly, that's pretty much what he advocates for. I literally just finished writing something about this passage in chapter 8:

Quote

Sakal: Secondly: patriarchy. Courtship is a child driven activity, in which the parents are called on to give their approval or consent. Scripture, on the other hand, speaks of the father of the son ‘taking a wife’ for his son, and the father of the bride ‘giving’ her to her husband.lxi It gives example after example of young women being given to young men, without the young woman even being consulted; and often, in some of the most Godly marriages in all of Scripture: the marriages of Adam and Isaac, for example, the young man is not consulted.

Creepy motherfucker.

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HerNameIsBuffy

Posted

Quote

The larger question is why the heck did daddy approve this relationship to start with?

I think "daddy" is creepy Pa Keller.

and because this made me worry I just yelled down to the man cave asking Mr. B if we had any doctrinal differences.  He said "whatever you want, sweetie...fine with me."

so I guess no differences here.

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EyeQueue

Posted

On 5/13/2016 at 9:43 PM, OnceUponATime said:

The name dropping is quite bad in this book. If he had put some more effort into it we could have played a game called "Who's who of FJ-snarked upon Fundies" but alas, he only did a half-arsed job.

Gawd, it's a veritable fundie circle jerk of name dropping up in this book. I wonder if other authors name drop Vaughn Ohlman (who is a creeper) and his pearls of wisdom. :roll:

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  • Posts

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    • Katzchen24

      Posted

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      • I Agree 2
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      Posted

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      Posted

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    • SolomonFundy

      Posted

      3 hours ago, calliopecassandra said:

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      • Thank You 2


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