Disclaimer: I'm starting this sober, because I have a meeting for second full time volunteer job in an hour. Also, this chapter is even grosser than the previous chapters, and I can see a case for it being triggering, so make your own decisions on reading.
Wine: none right now, but since I won't get this finished before I have to leave for meeting, I'm sure that will change on the back half.
Characters: We have Good Girl, and a new one, Space Invader. Here she is (one again courtesy of @OnceUponATime):
I'm also going to include Salesman Headship, because even though he isn't in this chapter, he's mentioned a lot, and I think his avatar is fucking hilarious:
Illustration: it's that damned picnic table again. I hate this park.
We are back in the park. Do people hang out in the park this much in real life? I mean, my town has a park, but we don't really go there if it's not to take the kids to play on the swings. The chillin' in the park seems weird, but that's the least of my complaints with this fucking book, so moving on. Good Girl is in the park, all sad and depressed, and Space Invader walks up to her and is all, "You look like you need a hug," THEN SHE HUGS GOOD GIRL. Good Girl is all who the actual fuck are you and WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING HUGGING SOMEONE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. I know that I like being touched less than some people, but you do NOT hug me unless you know me, and maybe not even then. These assholes have no concept of personal space and boundaries.
Anyway, after Space Invader introduces herself, she asks why Good Girl is sad. Good Girl is sad because Salesman Headship said that Asshole Plot device couldn't court her. He said that Asshole Plot Device was too immature to consider marriage, and so was Good Girl. You know, I really can't argue with Salesman Headship here. Asshole Plot Device comes off very young, and Good Girl is canonically barely eighteen. Could it be? Is there finally going to be a character that doesn't suck in this story? Wait a minute, the whole point of this terrible book is that fathers should sell their daughters, so I'm sure I'm going to hate him once I actually meet him.
Good Girl points out that she is an adult in the eyes of the law and her father is being SO UNREASONABLE to not allow her to court Asshole Plot Device. I mean, she's EIGHTEEN. HOW DARE HER PARENTS POINT OUT THAT SHE IS NOT READY FOR A LIFE LONG COMMITMENT. I hate this book. Of course, since Mr. Ohlman (who is a creeper) doesn't really care about when a child legally becomes an adult, and it's all about the breasts, I feel like we are headed for something that's going to make me want to hurl. Space Invader asks when God thinks that a child becomes an adult, and Good Girl really doesn't know.
Maydyn: I... I don’t know. I don’t think... I don’t remember anything about becoming an adult in the Scriptures. That’s funny. But it does say ‘woman’, that must be the same thing.
Isha: Must it?
Maydyn: Oh, you are just like your husband!
Isha: [Laughs] Thank you.
Two things: 1) god, Space Invader is a condescending asshole. 2) I wouldn't consider being told you were just like Nosy Busybody was a complement. SEND HELP AND WINE!
Space Invader points out that there is no definition for adult in the Bible, and so Good Girl asks if there is an indication in the Bible as to when someone is ready for marriage.
Maydyn: When am I ready for marriage? Why does my dad think I’m not?
Isha: Well, I can’t tell you what your dad thinks, but as far as Scripture is concerned, you are ready.
Maydyn: Really? How do you know? We just met!
Isha: Well, you see, the only qualification Scripture implies for a woman is...xliv [Isha leans forward and whispers into Maydyn’s ear, who blushes]
Maydyn: [Blushing brightly] Really? Where does it say that?
Isha: In the Song of Songs... in what you would call Chapter 8: verses 8- 10 and in Ezekiel 16:7-8.
I just.....WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ? There's so much wrong with this passage that I don't even know where to fucking start, so I'm just going to go to a meeting and come back to this clusterfuck when I have a glass of wine and maybe some chocolate to help counteract this. *several hours later* Ok. So, this happened, and it doesn't make any sense after several hours. Here's the things I thought about while contemplating how to approach this pile of horseshit.
1) In this world view, the word of the father is usually final. It's very odd to me that Mr. Ohlman (who is a creeper) is allowing Space Invader to question the words of Salesman Headship directly to Good Girl. I honestly expected Nosy Busybody to show up at Salesman Headship's place of business to tell him that he was doing it all wrong.
2) Good Girl has breasts, so she is ready for marriage. Um, I know a ten year old who has bigger breasts than me. Should I be arranging a marriage for her? I mean, who cares if the couple can support themselves, or if the woman's body is not developed enough to have kids, or if they are emotionally ready for a lifelong commitment? She has boobs, and that means EVERYTHING, right? God, I want to vomit.
3) "In what you would call Chapter 8". Every Bible I have ever seen is divided into chapter and verse. What the hell is she on about? Do these people have a super special Bible I've never heard of?
Good Girl is all, what the hell, boobs are all that's required? Don't you know that a wife has to do all this stuff? Then she realises that she's talking to a woman who is married. There's a squicky sexual undertone to this and oh god why the hell does this pile of shit exist and I pray that no one ever paid real money to get this horror.
Space Invader says that she didn't say that a woman should get married the moment that breasts happen, but that there is no Biblical list that implies readiness for marriage. Goddess forbid that people use common sense, noooo, it's all about the letter of the book written two thousand years ago. She says that people should get married while they are young, and that's all the Bible really says on the topic. While I'm enjoying making fun of this horseshit, it's breaking my heart that somewhere, there is a child out there RIGHT NOW that is being harmed by this guy's teachings.
Isha: I think you will find that it says ‘children obey’ and ‘children honor’, if you read it carefully.xlvii. And the word ‘children’ is not the kind of word you are thinking about... it doesn’t mean ‘little, immature person’, it means ‘offspring of’, and it implies lifelong obediencexlviii.
What. the. fuck. This is a quote from a larger conversation about whether or not Good Girl needs to obey her father in the area of who to court or not to court. First, child means fucking child, and the idea that adult children need to obey their parents is seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK territory. I can't even imagine trying to boss my adult kids around. I'd offer advice and suggestions if they asked, but otherwise? Their lives are their lives. Maybe I don't understand cos I don't have a penis? Secondarily, the whole premise of courting is that the parents are involved and ostensibly Good Girl agreed to that, so why does this whole chapter exist?
We have a short, boring conversation about Salesman Headship probably being scared to help Good Girl make such a life altering change and nothing really happened in this chapter besides a woman being horrible to another woman and thank god it's over. This chapter genuinely disturbed me, mostly because it was a "woman" spouting this shit to another woman. I can't really adequately put into words why it bothered me so much, but somehow horrible, misogynist things are worse coming from a woman.