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Destiny31's Corner

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What Are You Doing? Chapter 14: The Joint Problem

Ok, here's hoping today's chapter is better than yesterday's! I made sure to take out my contacts first just in case this one made me cry, because ain't nobody got time for ruining contacts for this mess. 

Luna status: Sleeping next to me. There's a warm generator (fire going in the fireplace) that's relevant to her interests.

Wine status: Naw, but I'm not really in the mood for some at the moment so there's that? Bright side, I *could* have a glass if I wanted - we are past the unpleasant start of diet process, so of COURSE I don't actually want one right now. 

This chapter is 8 pages long and OMFG long boring walls of text. Hooray. I may or may not split this into parts 1 and 2, depending on how much of it I skip cos it's a boring rehash of stuff from before. Bright side, only five chapters left, including this one. 

So we start at Nosy Busybody's kitchen table, with Salesman Headship, The Good Girl, and Asshole Plot Device, and Nosy Busybody all in residence. Salesman Headship is all pretentious in starting the conversation, and instead of saying wants to fuck or something that actually indicates teh ebil secks, he uses healthy young men and women. The inability to actually say sex is going to make me lose it entirely at some point. Thankfully this book is ALMOST OVER! Anyway, Salesman Headship invites The Good Girl and Asshole Plot Device to join in their conversation about what's wrong with courtship, and about how it isn't helping people to get married. 

Nosy Busybody is all, one of the major issues with courtship is the going out part, and it's a half a page of the bullshit about the to-marry couple don't need to get to know each other. I think that dead horse has been beaten quite enough, so let's move on, shall we?

The next page is a rehash of the, the woman marries who she is told, with The Good Girl asking most of the same questions Asshole Plot Device did. Holy crap, this book is repetitive as actual fucking fuck. As an aside, the whole following page is a wall of text from the Bible, telling the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. It's LITERALLY a quote from the Bible. For an entire page. Does god have copyright on this? Should a DMCA takedown notice be filed for this book? Seriously, we've been at this story for 4 pages now, and it's completely a rehash from earlier on the book. 

As an aside, apparently the only useful use for this book is as a kitten bed:

Spoiler

IMG_3024.jpg

Next, we move on to the story of Ruth and Boaz. Mr. Ohlman's interpretation of the story is that Ruth married the man that her mother in law told her to. My interpretation is that Ruth and Naomi trapped Boaz into marriage for financial security. They go back and forth on that for another page, and whatever. It's the same bullshit. This chapter is less rage inducing, and more boring rehash bullshit. I'm usually pissed as fuck by now, and right now, I'm just bored. Three more pages to go!

Salesman Headship asks Asshole Plot Device if he would be willing to do some sort of feat or challenge to marry The Good Girl, and Asshole Plot Device is all "bring it on motherfucker" about it. He then asks The Good Girl if she would marry Asshole Plot Device if the challenge was met, and she says, "If he asked me". Oh DEAR! That was the wrong answer. You are supposed to sit quietly and do whatever your father says. Choices in life? Pfffft!

As expected, THAT can't stand. Time to take away everyone's choice in life. YAY!.

Quote

Maydyn: And me, Daddy? Would you just pick someone for me?

Pat: No, because you have said that you wouldn’t accept someone if I did that. Not that I had considered it before, but you have made that clear in the past.

Maydyn: I hadn’t thought of it either! That doesn’t mean I would disobey you!

Pat: But, you always said...

Maydyn: Because I thought that was right! That’s what we always talked about; that’s what I always thought I would do. I never read the story of Rebecca as if it could be me! 

Sigh. Good Girl, when it comes to something that could affect your whole fucking life, feel free to fucking disobey. It's so sad to see these kids broken down into taking whatever parents say. 

Salesman Headship asks how he would know to pick a mate for his children that would be compatible, and this happens. Oh Asshole Plot Device, shit like THIS is why you got that name. 

Quote

Pat: But, if I pick a husband for my daughter, or a wife for my son, how am I supposed to know if they will be compatible; without their dating or courting or anything?

Andrew: [Chuckles]

Pat: What?

Andrew: I already asked that, and have been thinking a lot about the answer.

Pat: Well, what was the answer?

Andrew: First of all, and most importantly, it seems that God has made women to be compatible with men... or incompatible, depending on how you look at it; to be alike, but different; to be helpmeets. So any truly Godly woman will be a good helpmeet to any truly Godly man. Nowhere in Scripture is it written that there exists some ‘index of compatibility’ that the couple has to have; except their willingness to obey God and His commands about marriage. 

You know how I said earlier I was mostly bored, and this chapter hadn't managed to piss me off yet? Forget about that. I'm now furious. I know we've seen this before, but it's so fucking disgusting how this book reduces women to nothing more than simply helpmeets, interchangeable for any "godly man". Fuck that shit. I don't necessarily ascribe to soulmates theories or anything like that, nor do I think that there is only one person for everyone, but there are definitely some people that I would NOT be compatible with in marriage. That's the way personalities work! 

Quote

Pat: OK, I can see that. What was your other reason?

Andrew: Well, the more I think about it, the more I am afraid we have it all backwards. If you had to choose between me and my father as far as picking the right wife for me, any person with intelligence would choose my father to do the deciding. He is older, has more wisdom, and is less... personally involved. [Everyone stares at Andrew for a minute, who blushes.] 

Oh FFS, your father isn't going to be in the marriage for the rest of his hypothetical life, you are. Being attracted to your impending spouse is a GOOD thing. Sure, it shouldn't be the only thing, but it's important! Also, (yes, I'm going to keep harping on this) if you can't say sex, you aren't ready to have it. Granted, our parents do have wisdom and life experience we don't have as young adults, and I'm not saying that listening to their advice is wrong, but how are kids supposed to learn to make decisions if they aren't allowed to make mistakes? 

Salesman headship regurgitates everything we have just seen in the chapter for another fucking half a page, and holy shit, this guy needs an editor. This chapter was beyond boring because it's all shit we have seen before. Anyway, Salesman Headship wants to meet with Nosy Busybody again at some future point, and this chapter is fucking over.

FOUR MORE TO GO!

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

I love Luna, she's the best part. :my_shy:

All the other disgusting stuff makes me want to shower. The writing is so bad, I guess the audience it's aimed at isn't exactly a high bar. 

I saw a commercial today for grape flavored hard lemonade and thought of this blog. 

I'm not sure how or why this has to go on for another 4 chapters. I'm guessing the author likes to write the same drivel over and over. 

 

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Destiny

Posted

20 minutes ago, DancingPhalanges said:

I'm not sure how or why this has to go on for another 4 chapters. I'm guessing the author likes to write the same drivel over and over. 

Because he needed the additional page count to be able to sell on amazon? That's all I got. 

Luna says thank you and she likes people telling her she is pretty.

I wasn't joking early on about the fact that if this was a fanfic I would nope the fuck out immediately. This writing is beyond bad, separate from the content. The editor in me weeps.

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

I think it was the last chapter where the dialogue used was "forever ago". I haven't heard that phrase since well, forever ago!

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Destiny

Posted

Meet as "appropriate for" was from the 1000s too, so clearly we are loving the ancient language in this clusterfuck. LOL

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I agree that Luna has the right idea of how to treat this "book", although an even better use would be in her litter box. Nah, she wouldn't want something that nasty in it!

It's so weird and disheartening to see that awful idea spelled out: any godly man can have a good marriage with any godly woman as long as they both obey God and His commands for their marriage. No frills or prevaricating. Just the plain ugly concept.

 @DancingPhalanges, grape lemonade sounds a bit odd, whether it has alcohol in it or not. I shall have to keep a weather eye to the cold cases in my diligent search for palatable spirits! (Old-timey, or just lame?)

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CTRLZero

Posted

So, they gathered for dinner.  Was the mistress of the house able to happily accommodate an unexpected extra five guests; and did they have tater tot casserole; and was she given any voice at all?  I'd be so sad if I saw my daughter being married off to repeat a cycle of choice-less existence. 

Quote

He then asks The Good Girl if she would marry Asshole Plot Device if the challenge was met, and she says, "If he asked me". Oh DEAR! That was the wrong answer. You are supposed to sit quietly and do whatever your father says. Choices in life? Pfffft!

Run away, Maydyn!  Go be the electrical engineer you've always wanted to be!  Sigh...

Luna is gorgeous! 

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Destiny

Posted

1 hour ago, CTRLZero said:

So, they gathered for dinner.  Was the mistress of the house able to happily accommodate an unexpected extra five guests; and did they have tater tot casserole; and was she given any voice at all?  I'd be so sad if I saw my daughter being married off to repeat a cycle of choice-less existence. 

Other than being referred to as a very patient wife, she's had no role in the story. I know she will at some point cos she's in the cast and has a portrait courtesy of once. 

I can't even imagine how sad and angry I would be if I lived like this. 

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

The title of this chapter just happened to catch my eye on the main page and my adolescent sense of humor kicked in. What are you Doing?:  The Joint Problem

What kind of joint problem could they be having? Is their joint rolled too tightly, or too loosely? Did one of them burn a finger when the joint burned to the end and no one had a roach clip handy? So many unanswered questions... 

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  • Posts

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      4 hours ago, thoughtful said:

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    • Katzchen24

      Posted

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      • I Agree 3
    • SolomonFundy

      Posted

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      • Love 1
    • marmalade

      Posted

      On 8/3/2020 at 12:16 PM, HereticHick said:

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    • SolomonFundy

      Posted

      3 hours ago, calliopecassandra said:

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      • Upvote 3
      • Thank You 2


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