So, at @choralcrusader8613's suggestion, I printed this whole clusterfuck of fail, just so I could set fire to it when I'm done. Just thought you guys should know. Also, Mister destiny has started his diet again and I'm being supportive, so I am doing this shit sober today. THIS is love FJ!
The title of this chapter is irrationally bothering me. Courting Parents? Are his parents courting? Are one of the protagonists result of *gasp* unwed sex? I mean, I *think* know what he was TRYING to say, but Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, get a fucking editor you fucking fuck!
We are back in the park. Apparently Nosy Busybody is reading in the park. I have questions! These fuckers seem to spend all day every day in the fucking park. How is Nosy Busybody supporting the 328843928432 kids he's supposed to have if he is just chilling in the park all. the. fucking. time? The whole first page is Asshole Plot device explaining how courtship and parental interaction works, and I'm not going through that shit. I don't know @Buzzard has done it the eleventy times she has done it in Duggarville. I will note for you that Nosy Busybody is every bit as pretentious and annoying as he has been for this whole god damned book, and keeps asking annoying leading questions that make me want to punch him in the face.
Sakal: After spending a week or so dating Maydyn?
Andrew: Oh, not a week! Courtships are much longer than that.
Sakal: Oh... why?
Andrew: Because you have to decide if you are the right people to marry, and whether God will be glorified in your marriage.
Sakal: And that takes a long time?
Andrew: Of course.
Oh FFS. For the record, at no point did Asshole Plot Device mention a week. That's the "clever" writing trying to talk down on how long it takes to get married in courtships. I mean Jesus H, the average courtship seems to take under 6 months for most of the people we follow. I guess that's 6 months that she could be pregnant, or the poor husband is having to not get laid. Gag. I really want a fucking glass of wine right now.
Sakal: Oh, but I didn’t court Isha... not until after I was betrothed to her, anyway, and I think that is different from what you are thinking about. Indeed, our betrothal day was the first time I had ever seen her.
You know, at some point in the past, some FJ'r made a crack about the purity olympics leading to shit like this. It's sad that what we though was extreme is actually a belief being spouted by someone who is in a position to make his ideas heard and followed. Asshole Plot Device rightly calls him a fucking nutbar for getting engaged or betrothed or whatever the fuck to someone he just met, which leads to this:
Sakal: Oh? Then why is what Isha and I did crazy?
Andrew: Well, I guess, if it works for you but...
Sakal: ‘Works for you’?! Is that the way you apply God’s Word to your life? Whatever ‘works for you’?
Andrew: [Blushes] I didn’t mean that, I just meant that... I don’t know what I mean. How could you do that?
Sakal: Do what? Love my wife?
First, you god damned motherfucking asshole, Boring Plot Device never said a fucking thing about whether or not you loved your wife, so stop the putting of words in someone's mouth. It's obnoxious, and so are you you fucking fuck! Second, Boring Plot Device is right. Marriage is a HUGE commitment, especially in fundie circles where divorce is Just Not Done. I can't even imagine marrying someone I didn't at least like. Friendship, at the very least, is in my opinion a requirement for a happy marriage.
Boring Plot Device says that it's important to be sure that the person that they are marrying is right for them and the one god has for them and all the boring courtship shit that they all spout, and then this happens, and I lose my shit:
Andrew: Because it must be the right person. Look, Maydyn and I found this old sermon on courtship. And it gave four principles that it said must guide our choice. 1) Choose a Christian, 2) Choose a Kindred Spirit, 3) Look for Character, 4) Look for Accomplishments. Don’t those sound wonderful?
Sakal: They certainly do. But your list leaves me wondering two things. First of all, is this list itself Biblical: do the Scriptures say that only people like this may be married? And second, does the Scripture tell you, yourself, to do the choosing?
Andrew: Well, I hope the first one is obvious, anyway. Of course she must be a Christian. Isn’t it written, “In the Lord?"
Sakal: It certainly is. It is also written not to be unequally yoked, although the context is not at all marriage, and it cannot seriously have been intended to be applied to marriage.
I lost my shit entirely. I screamed fuck you so loud all three cats are staring at me, the dog started barking, and Mister destiny came running to see what had happened. He apparently had headphones on. I then got so angry that I burned the chapters I've already completed with EXTREME RELISH, while screaming 'fuck you you fucking fuck' the whole time.
There's so much wrong here. First, we are using marriage as a way of 'repentance' for sexual sin, and now Vaughn Ohlman (who is a creeper) is suggesting that the couple doesn't even need to be the same fucking religion. Granted, in normal non fundie marriage, it is not unheard of for a couple to be from different religions, but when we are talking fundies who have their whole life revolve around their church and their beliefs, that's a recipe for disaster. This whole shitshow is a disaster, but wow.
The verse he is citing is from 2 Corinthians 6:15. I'll grant him that this verse does not specifically say marriage, but it does mention partnership. If I shouldn't go into business with a non-Christian, why in the world would it be ok to do something as life-changing as fucking marry and procreate with them. His Scriptural evidence for this is ..... lacking to say the least.
Sakal: If the boy is to choose, it certainly seems that that would be a wise choice.
Andrew: What do you mean, ‘if the boy is to choose’?
Sakal: Again, your list presumes that it is the boy himself who will do the choosing. And it also presumes he has a choice.
Andrew: Who else would choose for him? She is to be his wife!
Sakal: Well, you know your Scriptures. How often was it that the boy, himself, chose his wife?
Oh dear, RUN Asshole Plot Device RUN! The trap is closing around you and you don't even see it. Much as I really hate Asshole Plot Device, he doesn't deserve the mindfucking he's about to receive. They go back and forth for a while looking for biblical support for allowing someone to choose their own spouse. Andrew hits on Jesus having chosen us, the church, and then this happens:
Andrew: Yes, that’s a very good example. Christ chose us!
Andrew: What do you mean...? Oh, well, that’s right. He chose us, because his father told him to choose us.
Ok, I'm VERY confused. What sort of weird shit is this guy being taught / teaching in his church? Cos where I come from, Jesus chose to die for us and all that jazz. Yeah, there's the bit in Gethsemane when he asks god to take the cup away, but then he, of his own volition, goes and does the thing. Does anyone understand this teaching? is this some sort of denominational thing I just have never been exposed to?
They go back and forth trying to find biblical support for another page, and it's mostly stories told out of context. One they bring up is Esther marrying the king. Did that even happen? I honestly don't remember. My days of being Bible Bee winner are LONG past, but my vague memories include her being in his harem, not a wife, which means the relationship was likely rape since Esther couldn't say no. Not that she wasn't awesome and clever and everything, but I don't think her story has anything to do with marriage.
Tl;dr of this whole chapter is that the people participating in the marriage do what they are told cos vague, out of context reasons, and there's no reason to consider compatibility. I can't believe I got through this sober. Send help FJ, SEND HELP!
PS: By the way, if you are wondering, when Asshole Plot Device leaves, Nosy Busybody says he will be here, in the park, when next he wants to talk. I STILL want to know how this fucker makes a damn living.
PS2: This chapter just went in the fucking fire too, cos fuck this shit.