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Destiny31's Corner

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What Are You Doing? Chapter 12: A Help 'meet'

I sat down to write this at 2pm my time. It's now 4pm, and I have 1) installed a new game on my phone and played it for a while, 2) watched an episode of Bones, 3) done dishes, and 4) spent 20 minutes deciding how I was going to redecorate the upstairs bathroom. I hate this project, and wish it had never come to me (yes, I know I volunteered for it, but run with the Lord of the Rings reference dammit! :-P ). Thankfully, this chapter is only four pages, so hopefully my suffering will be brief.

Wine status: still dieting. FUCK!

Luna status: she's chilling next to me cos there's a fire in the fireplace.

Let's get this show on the fucking road. I haven't read the chapter yet, but the title frankly terrifies me. I feel like I'm about to walk into a trap built by a misogynist, cos no talk of helpmeets from this fucking guy can end well. 

I have no idea where they are because the author didn't bother to set the stage for this shitty shitty mess, but we can probably safely assume they are in the fucking park again. I STILL want to know where the fuck these fuckers get their money. Anyway, Asshole Plot Device is conceding the point that biblically speaking, he does not have to marry a christian woman, and he might not get to choose his own wife. I almost feel sorry for Asshole Plot Device cos he is so horribly mindfucked by fucking Nosy Busybody.

Next, do christians need to marry someone they are compatible with? Apparently not!

Quote

Andrew: Well, I didn’t say it but it made sense when I heard it. A guy and a girl have to be right for each other when they go into marriage. Their personalities, their interests, need to mesh.

Sakal: Oh?

Andrew: I am learning to hate it when you do that (grins). So, you would ask me to prove that from Scripture. And, of course, I won’t be able to find anywhere where God says anything... wait, what about in Genesis where God says “I will make a help meet for [Adam]"? ‘Meet’ means ‘appropriate for’, no? 

(bolding mine)

Ok, first things first, if you are just NOW learning to hate that Asshole Plot Device, you are fucking behind as fuck, cos this shit has been annoying me since chapter fucking one! I'm glad you are starting to realize what a pretentious bag of dicks this guy is, but I fear it's now too late for you to flee. Second, meet does NOT fucking mean "appropriate for". What the shit fuck Lana? Words fucking mean things, and they should be fucking used properly. In case you want to actually see what meet means, I've helpfully included a link to the definition. Note the lack of appropriate for in the list. 

Quote

Andrew: So that must mean that when we pick a wife, or get given a wife, we need to pick a kindred spirit!

Sakal: Or it could mean the opposite. 

Andrew: What? Oh. You mean... you mean when we pick a wife she is a kindred spirit, she is meet. 

First, stop fucking misusing words. Say kindred spirit, or compatible, or any of the myriad of words that actually MEAN appropriate for! Second, oh. my. god. Just by the act of having your hand sold in marriage, you are supposed to become magically compatible with your potential spouse? I have fucking questions. The simplistic thinking here just doesn't make any fucking sense. 

Quote

Sakal: [Grins] Yes. And, as husbands we are to love our wives; a Biblical process which, if followed, will bind their spirits together, making them ‘kindred’ indeed. 

Um, how?

Quote

Sakal: There is another issue. I was visiting one of your large stores the other day, and when I walked down the cereal aisle, I saw a hundred choices... just for cereal to eat for breakfast.

Andrew: [Chuckles] They don’t have that where you come from, eh?

Sakal: No. And I am wondering if you have it?

Andrew: What do you mean? I had Apple Jacks just this morning.

Sakal: I wonder if they had character or accomplishments. But I meant in our area, our discussion. Are there hundreds of girls lined up on a shelf somewhere for you to pick from, all of whom would immediately agree to marry you? Or who would even agree to marry you after an extended courtship? 

What the serious fucking fuck? Did he just compare a fucking LIVING, BREATHING, human woman to a god damned breakfast cereal? HOLY FUCK. Also, you pretentious ass, cereal CAN in fact have character or accomplishments of a sort. I buy cereal based on several factors: price, nutrition, deliciousness, and sometimes, whether someone else in the family likes it as well, so this argument doesn't even make sense. This metaphor is so poorly thought out that it hurts my brain.

They go back and forth for the rest of the chapter about how the whole point of courtship and dating is to get to know someone so you can see if they were right person for you, and Nosy Busybody drops snide hints that this takes too fucking long and he should just buy a bride. Also, Asshole Plot Device really wants a wife. I am hoping that he actually wants a companion and friend, not just a hole to fuck, but I'm not hopeful. Sigh. 

Quote

Andrew: So, that would make courting a subset of ‘ways to date’... just like there are people who ‘date’ by sleeping with everyone in sight. And courtship is a method that seems to specialize in delaying or preventing marriages, not creating them.

Say, would you mind meeting with Maydyn’s father? He says that he would really like to talk to you, that he hasn’t heard anyone saying quite what you are.

Sakal: Gladly. Would you like to bring him to dinner at our house tonight? And his wife and children, if he wishes.

Andrew: I wouldn’t want to put you out...

Sakal: No, my wife loves entertaining. She and my children will be thrilled. 

This is really not terribly relevant to the whole chapter, but I would be FURIOUS at mister destiny if he didn't at least call me or send a text or carrier pigeon or fucking SOMETHING before inviting a whole family over to dinner. What if she didn't defrost enough boob of chicken for everyone? Rude, arrogant, asshole motherfucker. ARGH. 

This chapter was blessedly crazy short, we are done. Tomorrow, I guess we get to meet salesman headship. WHO'S EXCITED???????

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

You can have white wine on a diet, right?! I love me some Bones. :my_biggrin: Which episode?

No, really white wine doesn't count on diets,  I'm proof.

I shall now start your blog from the beginning  

 

 

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Destiny

Posted

Just now, DancingPhalanges said:

You can have white wine on a diet, right?! I love me some Bones. :my_biggrin: Which episode?

Alas, I can't. It's low carb so no wine. SEND HELP!

I was watching the one where Bones finds her mother's body. Season 1 finale. 

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

The first 4 seasons were my favorite, I loved the episode you just watched. Last night's episode was really good. 

If I sent help it would involve mozzarella cheese sticks and wine. 

:my_shy:

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

Okay, I made it to chapter 6 review and realize I need more wine and a break. OMG. 

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Destiny

Posted

Just now, DancingPhalanges said:

Okay, I made it to chapter 6 review and realize I need more wine and a break. OMG. 

LOL! Right? there's not enough wine to make this shitshow OK.

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

Jeeezus and WTF is all I can manage right now. 

You can't do this Low Carb, this requires wine wine wine wine. 

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted (edited)

Sakal and Andrew are just as asinine as ever. VAUGHN OHLMAN IS A CREEPER  (AND A PEDOPHILIC PIMP)!

Quote

Second, meet does NOT fucking mean "appropriate for".

There is a second definition of "meet". It was below the first one in your link:

20170224_020531.jpg

Fundies have to weirdest archaic vocabulary of about any group to which I've ever been exposed. But he is technically using the word correctly. 

Ugh. I don't usually drink wine. Where's the Mike's Hard Lemonade?!

Edited by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

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formergothardite

Posted

So they aren't even pretending to treat women as actual humans! I'm just shocked they are being so obvious that they view women as nothing but objects. Most fundies at least try to sugar coat that message! 

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Destiny

Posted

I swear to god I read that page and.m never saw the second definition. I sit corrected again.  I have never heard that usage ever and feel like it's more out of context horseshit even if technically correct. 

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PreciousPantsofDoom

Posted

I'm a little torn here.  Clearly this book is some kind of publication from the Eleventieth Circle of Hell in terms of subject matter, writing quality, and general fucktardedness, but it is giving me hope somehow that (among other more important, but obvious things like intelligent people reject mysogyny) the subset of people who enjoy reading does not completely intersect with the subset of people who think having a book club where you answer the publisher's suggested questions and follow the readers guide is going to do anything but give me a migraine from trying to hold back the eye rolls and choke back the sarcasm to socially acceptable levels. Partly because the whole exercise feels like voluntarily subjecting myself to undergrad English class discussions (shudder); I just cannot with the book club thing.  If I feel strongly about a book, you are going to hear about it.  I'll be referring to it constantly at various points in my general conversation for weeks.  If I hated it, ditto, but with more swearing.    @Destiny, I do not know what you did in your past life to deserve this literary punishment, but clearly it was bad.  On the plus side, I don't see how this wouldn't count as atonement.

I am a little worried about how much more of this you can read without losing your grip. I am hopingthat you emerge at the end of this like Picard, shuffling and blinking, but still defiantly maintaining that there are four lights! How many more chapters are there?  

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Destiny

Posted

4 minutes ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

I am a little worried about how much more of this you can read without losing your grip. I am hopingthat you emerge at the end of this like Picard, shuffling and blinking, but still defiantly maintaining that there are four lights! How many more chapters are there?  

LOL! THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS! ALSO MARRYING COS DADDY SAID TO IS A TRAP!

Seriously, I sat down to do one today and noped out when I saw the quote I put in my status. Thankfully there's only six more chapters before it's done. 

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DancingPhalanges

Posted

I'm caught up now and read up on this creep. I had to bleach my brain after reading the news reports and blogs. Gross, as my teenager would say. 

I'm sorry there are six more chapters. Really, that seems ridiculous considering they marry/sell off the children so quickly. Seems like the book would have a short and on point story line too. 

Kids are commodities to be traded and sold it's so sick and disturbing. I'm trying to imagine anyone sitting down and writing this drivel, believing it and then selling it on Amazon. Ugh.

 

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Destiny

Posted

Mister destiny is working, so I'm going to suck it up and start writing the next chapter. Mostly cos sooner done, sooner I'M done. 

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  • Posts

    • Katzchen24

      Posted

      That's a really interesting article. I hadn't really thought about it, but the majority of the fundies we snark on really do only rant on a limited number of themes. Mostly it's abortion, female purity, anti-LGBTQI and  general KJV-ness. 

      "The Bible’s exhortations to compassion for immigrants and the poor stretch long enough to comprise a sizeable book of their own, but no matter. White evangelicals will not let their political ambitions be constrained by something as pliable as scripture."

      Maybe FJ selects to snark on only a particular type of fundie, but I have NEVER heard one obsess about the poor or immigrants even one iota as much as they do about modesty or abortion. 

      As far as I'm concerned, the fundie obsession with female purity is a power and control grab dressed up as godliness. I've never understood why men have so much power over the female reproductive system and how so much prestige has been granted to male inheritance. It makes so much more sense for inheritance to be matrilineal if you want to be really sure of parentage. 

      • I Agree 2
    • SolomonFundy

      Posted

      You may be thinking of the Goodwins. Atlanta and Jordan live on a homestead (adjacent to his family) in middle Tennessee. A few years ago, they acquired a second, larger wood stove to use in their home, and moved the smaller wood stove to an exterior porch for Summertime cooking. This accomplished the tandem goal of allowing heat to remain outdoors in the Summer, and indoors in the Winter as the larger stove is capable of heating the entire house in colder months. The smaller stove is eventually supposed to be moved to an unfinished area of the homestead that is intended as a Summer kitchen. Atlanta and Jordan now have 6 children, and she generally spaces about 18 months apart. So your memory of a baby + pregnancy is entirely possible. (The last two children were twins.)

      I'm not sure what you consider "well connected" to entail, but Atlanta and Jordan have quite a few social ties to fundy families. They also infamously had a Civil War themed wedding, complete with Confederate flags, antebellum dresses, and southern army uniforms for the men. She's remotely descended from Nathaniel Bedford Forrest (Confederate army general), and the wedding was held at his childhood home site. Forrest is credited with founding the KKK. Not exactly the family connection that most people would think to celebrate on their wedding day, but I guess Atlanta and Jordan felt that it was a appropriate for themselves. 😑

      • Love 1
    • marmalade

      Posted

      On 8/3/2020 at 12:16 PM, HereticHick said:

      Where did he say that he knows zero Spanish? And I wonder what language he studied at Syracuse, which I believe has a language requirement.

      He did grad school at Syracuse. Not sure if his undergrad had a foreign language requirement. I think it was a small liberal arts college, so I imagine it did. However, he could have fulfilled it in high school when he went to public school to boost his soccer. 

    • SolomonFundy

      Posted

      3 hours ago, calliopecassandra said:

      I'd say getting pregnant again 5 months after a stillborn is pretty soon. I know after a miscarriage, you're "supposed" to wait 6 months. Oh and they had to wait 6 weeks to have sex again. Are they people who say so many days after a girl birth and less after a boy, do we know?

      Susannah wasn't stillborn. She lived for several days after birth on life support. Melanie and Nathan seem to have a pattern of trying very soon after a loss. Susannah's death was incredibly traumatic for the whole family, and I personally don't think that they were any more irresponsible than any other couple who has 2 babies in 14 months. But then, about a year after Abby was born, they had a miscarriage. 10 months later, Betsy was born. So, over the course of 3.5 years, they had four pregnancies, including three full term births, the loss of Susannah soon after birth, and a miscarriage. 

      • Upvote 2
      • Thank You 2
    • thoughtful

      Posted

      Becky's turn - she'll post stupid inaccurate shit about masks, but she'll sell Tupperware to store them:

      Spoiler

      image.png.cd050deb5b23c784693b948b7b183209.png

      Guilt works for sales, as well as church. Becky, the companies you listed are not independent, Mom and Pop businesses, and they're mostly dishonest.

      Spoiler

      image.png.c8c7f9409ca39b11a75cb94c9e5183fc.png

      image.png.e9d9330273c25eb79912415b1571ade1.png

       

       

      • Thank You 2


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