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Destiny31's Corner

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What are You Doing? Chapter 17: A Confrontation.

Couple of housekeeping things: there's a final chapter that's another regurgitation of the whole book. I'm gonna skip it because we've see it all before. Also, there's an interlude chapter that's some sort of weird attempt at a Song of Solomon type of story that scares me in its incomprehensibility and awfulness, along with being pointless, that I'm going to skip. I'm honestly not sure what purpose it serves other than maybe as the book's sex scene, and that's too awful to contemplate. With that, let's get this show on the road. Yay!

Luna status: sleeping somewhere, but not being a helper today. None of the animals are nearby actually.

Wine status: It's early afternoon and snowing, so today's beverage is actually hot tea, with cream. 

Nosy Busybody and Salesman Headship are in a restaurant. Thank GOD we aren't in that fucking park again. I had nightmares about park benches last night, but that doesn't matter because this shit is ALMOST OVER. Anyway, Salesman Headship asks what the hell he is doing here, and Nosy Busybody says he's here about the marriage of The Good Girl and Asshole Plot Device. For some reason I can't quite comprehend, Salesman Headship acts surprised. Uh, this is the least surprising surprise in the history of surprises. Just stop Vaughn, STOP. You suck as a writer.

Moving on, suddenly Salesman Headship ISN'T surprised, and asks what Nosy Busybody is "actually proposing". Oh crap, I'm about to be treated to yet another speech about how all this works, aren't I? Fuck. Nosy Busybody says that Smeghead came to him to ask him to act as an intermediary to arrange a marriage. That seemed pretty obvious to me. Maybe Salesman Headship is both an idiot and an asshole instead of just being an asshole? 

Quote

Pat: Is he going to be able to afford an apartment, and insurance, and all of that?

Sakal: He won’t need to. His parents have agreed there is really no reason he should have to move out of their house, even once he brings his wife home. His father said, “I don’t have many mansions in my house, but I have an extra bedroom, anyway."

He and his father, assuming you agree, will build a bathroom onto his bedroom, which should make living a little less tight, and give the new young couple a little more privacy. And he has a job, so insurance should be OK. Although his father was talking about wanting to bring him into the family business, and said that they could provide, regardless. 

I'm trying to muster up the energy to get angry, and I just can't. Sigh. I am too tired of this shit to even get mad anymore. First, without telling too much, mister destiny and I lived with his mother for a few months. It was miserable for me, because it was another woman's space, another woman's kitchen, and another woman's territory. That doesn't even include the privacy issues involved, and we DID have our own bathroom. I would never, ever, do that again, and if one of my kids decided to do this, I would counsel them to wait til they could afford their own place. Of course, I also bought them condoms and gave them a safe sex talk, so clearly our basic methods of parenting differ. 

I'm hoping someone is going to talk to The Good Girl about this, but I feel like that's being optimistic to the point of foolishness. Sigh.

They have a brief conversation about how "leave and cleave" isn't biblical, and then move on to this mess:

Quote

Pat: So, does this mean I will get a bride price too? (Chuckling) 

Sakal: Yes. Abe is proposing ten thousand dollars.

Pat: What? I was kidding! I don’t want to sell my daughter!

Sakal: No one wants you to. But the bride price plays a significant function; it shows her value. And the point isn’t that you get the money but that you keep it for your daughter, if Andrew should ever abandon her.

Pat: Wow. This seems like something out of an old movie. But, is he really ready? It sounds like he doesn’t really have his finances and all worked out. You know, “prepare your fields.”

Sakal: Yet another verse that everyone quotes though it has nothing to do with marriage. If you believe he needs more time to be ready to bring your daughter home, then that is fine. I won’t be happy (and Andrew definitely won’t be happy) but that is your prerogative. But you need not hinder the betrothal. Just make their betrothal contingent on his earning so much money, or passing a test or something.
But I won’t agree to any long conditions. The Jews had a tradition that the groom had one year to prepare the place he was going to bring his wife back to; in our sexually crazed society I think that is more than enough time, probably too much; for Andrew and Maydyn, in particular, the shorter the better. 

No, Salesman Headship, you are fucking selling your daughter. I really, really hate this bride price shit. How the fuck does it show value to fucking BUY a woman from her father? She's not seeing any of that value, and I'd bet money that the fathers aren't actually saving this money for a potential abandonment. Nosy Busybody, fuck off with your you won't be happy, and you won't agree to long conditions shit too. Even in your worldview, you don't get to make those choices. You are a fucking bystander who needs to shut the fuck up and mind your own fucking business. ARGH. I'm just gonna ignore the pointed, if they don't marry, they might "sin" implication there, cos fuck that shit.

Quote

Pat: I don’t understand this ‘conditional betrothal’.

Sakal: Well, perhaps it is hard to understand for us poor moderns. In the past, a betrothal could happen one of two ways. Either the fathers would agree, and the betrothal was immediately valid; or the bride’s father would set some condition, like ‘take this city’, and there would be no betrothal until the city was taken.

On the other end, sometimes there was a payment that needed to be made, and until it was paid they were betrothed, but couldn’t come together. Sometimes the young man’s father would set him a task.
But in today’s society, I think we need to be very careful. We are surrounded by rampant fornication. If we betroth someone very young, then it is just as well that they have to wait to come together, and that he have some task in the mean time. But if they are older, as so many of our children are, I think we need to simply ‘let them marry’. 

(bolding mine)

Remember earlier when I said I had run out of fucks to give and couldn't get angry anymore? I lied. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS SHIT??????? This bit about betrothing someone "very young" scares the shit out of me. If a girl is eligible to marry when she has breasts for her husband to "delight in", how fucking young is this asshole "betrothing" kids? I both do and do not want to know the answer to this question. 

Apparently Smeghead already talked to Asshole Plot Device, and Asshole agreed to marry whoever Smeghead said to. He's hoping it's The Good Girl, but doesn't know for sure. Salesman Headship has done the same with his family, and his wife and kids all agreed to marry whoever they are told as well. Part of me wonders how many of these guys are planning their escape while they are outwardly agreeing. I hope all of them, including Mrs. Salesman Headship, are!

Salesman Headship asks why Smeghead didn't come himself, and Nosy Busybody says that society isn't good at this and Smeghead was afraid that Salesman would turn Asshole down, and Smeghead didn't think that he could adequately plead Asshole's case. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE. SMEGHEAD IS ASSHOLES DAD! I hate this book, and I hate that Mr. Ohlman thinks his avatar is so much better than everyone else. Thank the powers it's nearly over.

Minor tidbit, apparently Smeghead gave Nosy Busybody the authority to go to another family if Salesman Headship turns Asshole Plot Device down. Poor Asshole Plot Device, for all my hate of him, he genuinely seems to want to be with The Good Girl and just grabbing another woman like they are interchangeable is fucking cruel. 

Salesman Headship is going to go ahead and sell The Good Girl to Asshole Plot Device, so yay a happy ending! Or at least that's how we are supposed to feel (I think). They discuss how long before the actual wedding (it's up to the dads. Hers to decide when the betrothal is no longer conditional, and his to say when Asshole Plot Device can come and claim her as his bride after the betrothal is no longer conditional. 

The chapter just drops off abruptly after this, and there's another one gone. 

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Destiny

Posted

RIGHT? I was thinking it. I need to sit down and do the last one. Hopefully tomorrow.

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CTRLZero

Posted

Bride price - ugh!

Quote

And the point isn’t that you get the money but that you keep it for your daughter, if Andrew should ever abandon her.

From reading some of the threads here, abandonment (jail, divorce, etc.) happens after having umpteen kids.  Then everyone is stuck and miserable.  What horrible men who continue this system and inflict it on their children. 

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PreciousPantsofDoom

Posted

I think you may need to do some sort of exorcism /stabbing a stake through its heart to make sure it is really dead type thing when you finally finish reading it.   

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Destiny

Posted

1 hour ago, PreciousPantsofDoom said:

I think you may need to do some sort of exorcism /stabbing a stake through its heart to make sure it is really dead type thing when you finally finish reading it.   

I'm setting the motherfucker on fire lol. 

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

Posted

I'd suggest toasting marshmallows over the fire, but I have a feeling that something this nasty will produce really nasty smelling and tasting smoke. :puke-front:

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CyborgKin

Posted

“I don’t have many mansions in my house, but I have an extra bedroom, anyway."

English, do you speak it?

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  • Posts

    • Meggo

      Posted

      3 hours ago, indianabones said:

      I watched the newest episode. I have to say, I laughed out loud watching Abbie simulate electronic contractions on JD and then coo to him, "Your body was made to do this!"

      What was up with HIS face in return? I've only seen the previews - but his look is kind of a mix between "Well - THAT's awkward" and "Oh crap did the cameras catch that??" 

       

    • Yaruhmak

      Posted

       

      I recently discovered this family and just saw that it is on FJ, so thought I'd join the chat.

      I agree with most of the opinions on here. First of all, the names are just 🤢. Actually most of them would be pretty acceptable if it wasn't for the ridiculous spellings and the weird, random capital letters in the middle of the name - is that even legal? 🤔
      Regarding changing their names after adoption, I guess people have different viewpoints. Personally I think if the child is old enough to know their name, they should at least be able to choose if they want to change it. It is a part of their identity in some way. Also, since they were fostered for some time before the adoption, I'm guessing they were calling them by their original names? It is a little strange to suddenly have a completely different name after adoption. 

      I'm guessing their channel is catered to a younger audience (teen/pre-teen) based on the click-bait titles, cringey, over-top enthusiasm and patronising voices. Its just too much for me 🤢

      Apart from the typical YT family channel  exploitation of minors, there's not really much to snark on 🤔. They obviously have the financial resources to take care of all these children instead of cramming them all in one room and feeding them sub-standard canned junk. The children seem genuinely happy and well cared for. I like that they actually get to go to school and interact with other children their age. The parents also seem to encourage them to develop their interests, which seems to be rare in the fundie world. One of the boys (Luke) is interested in theatre and dance and Delaynee? I think is a more 'tomboy', sporty type. They are both encouraged to participate in activities which are associated with the opposite gender - another rarity in the fundie world. 

      Someone mentioned that they shouldn't be allowed to adopt so many when they already have a lot of biological children. I personally think that there shouldnt be a limit as long as they are able to adequately provide for them. Plus, they adopted a rather large sibling group, which had a very low chance of being adopted. They would have either been separated or stuck in the foster care system permanently. 

      There may be more going on in the background which we don't see, but compared to some of the families discussed on this site, the seem like parents of the year 😅

      Sorry for the essay 😬

      On 7/5/2020 at 5:52 PM, clueliss said:

      Bridger’s adoption story posted Friday 

      something Russian that begins with K Vladimir Alexandrovich.  His New middle name is Alexander.  He likes having two names.  I like that his patronymic is his middle name now.

       

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    • Howl

      Posted (edited)

      So many of these fundy patriarchs have to be the rulers in their own little bubbles and they set up their family and a few other loyal retainers (i.e., sons in law) as their subjects. 

       It's...almost...as if...it attracts a certain type of personality. 

      7 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

      he would have to do REAL work

      Key phrase! 

      Edited by Howl
      • I Agree 1
    • Marly

      Posted

      I wash my hair daily, especially in the summer. In the winter I sometimes wash it every other day, depending on wether or not I have to go somewhere that day.
      I sweat a lot, and I sweat a lot on my scalp. I also excersize daily. After a work-out routine, my hair looks and feels like I have just taken a shower. It's completely drenched in sweat because my scalp gets super sweaty. Therefore, I wash it everyday. In the winter, on days that I don't wash it but do excersize, I still rinse it with water because of the sweat that gets in my hair.

      I have long hair (breast length), so if I would have to blow-dry my hair after every wash, dat would take up more time. On warm spring days, on rainy days, and during the summer, I don't blow dry my hair. I just wear it up and it's dry at the end of the day. (From March onward it's too warm for me to wear my hair down, so I just always wear it up, until the end of November, when it's usually cold enough for me to be able to wear my hair down again). During the winter I do blow dry it when I have to leave the house. If I stay in I just let it air dry.

    • HideousGreenShirt

      Posted

      Oh man, ear piercing is a controversial issue in my family. 😂

      My mom had hers done as a baby which was normal in her country. 

      My older sister traumatised our mom when she started senior school (age 11 over here). She begged and nagged constantly because all her friends had pierced ears and she wanted them too. But my mom said she had to wait until the school holidays so they could heal. I didn't find out any of this until a few years ago. 

      When it was my turn to move up a school, my aunt came by at the beginning of summer, sat me down and pierced mine with one of those old fashioned guns. It hurt. 

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      I never wear earrings and find if I do, my ears react really quickly/badly.

      I think it's fine to pierce a baby's ears, they won't remember it and you could save stress later in life! 



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