Unintentionally hilarious religious art

[Terrie]

2 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Also it looks like Jesus couldn't convince the surgeons to use gloves. 

Not sure. They may be wearing "flesh" tone gloves. (Because, of course, surgical staff members are always white).

Looking at it a second time, I do note that Jesus has a receding hair line. 

[Howl]

On 1/8/2017 at 11:02 AM, AmazonGrace said:

This is funny to me because Mortgage Baby Jesus really is the spitting image of a prof in my past department -- one filled with historians.....of art.  He is a super, super nice guy, so not snarking on him, but the resemblance is startling. 

[AmazonGrace]

So what are the dino Jesus pictures for? Are they ironic or intended to support a creationist argument that humans walked with dinosaurs or what? 

[AmazonGrace]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

Jesus is always so white. So very, very white. 

Maybe Jesus should stop hanging out with the golfers and go do something about all those starving children. 

After armwrestling, Jesus beat Lucifer in darts and Lucifer challenged him to have a drinking contest. Boys will be boys. 

Whatever happened to the caddy Jesus's feet? He looks kinda short and the gown just fades away at about knee height. 

[formergothardite]

Clown Jesus looks like he is offering up a toddler to a creepy clown. There is an entire website devoted to a guy drawing "With You always" Jesus pictures. Jesus with the guy playing a french horn, Jesus with a guy juggling, Jesus with an insurance agent. Jesus with a welder. 

Jesus is never with those starving kids, though. Or the ones being abused and neglected. Maybe Jesus should let the surgeon, golfer and welder do their jobs and He should go try to do something about all the hurt kids. If He can guide the hands of a surgeon, can't he guide hands to feed the hungry? 

[CTRLZero]

7 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Whatever happened to the caddy Jesus's feet? He looks kinda short and the gown just fades away at about knee height. 

It looks like Jesus popped out of the ground, like the gopher in the movie Caddyshack!

 

[AmazonGrace]

3 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Clown Jesus looks like he is offering up a toddler to a creepy clown. There is an entire website devoted to a guy drawing "With You always" Jesus pictures. Jesus with the guy playing a french horn, Jesus with a guy juggling, Jesus with an insurance agent. Jesus with a welder. 

Jesus be like, I love work, I could watch it for hours. 

He should be with the kid with the clown though, clowns are scary.

[Terrie]

22 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

There is an entire website devoted to a guy drawing "With You always" Jesus pictures. Jesus with the guy playing a french horn, Jesus with a guy juggling, Jesus with an insurance agent. Jesus with a welder. 

Does Jesus have legs in any of these drawings?

[AmazonGrace]

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

[formergothardite]

18 minutes ago, Terrie said:

Does Jesus have legs in any of these drawings?

Yes! Only once, though.

He is like the Cheshire Cat.

 

[AmazonGrace]

Jesus, shouldn't you tell him to keep the mask on while welding? And maybe wear protective gear? 

Most of the people Jesus hangs out with are white. 

http://www.jesus-withyoualways.com/

43 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

It looks like Jesus popped out of the ground, like the gopher in the movie Caddyshack!

 

I hope Jesus doesn't get hit with the backswing, or whatever you call it. 

[Coy Koi]

16 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

I hate how Jesus is forcing him into that sitting position. If he's spending long hours driving, that will be murder on his poor back. No wonder he looks so stressed out. And then after this job, he still has to go straight to his night job as an Elvis impersonator!

[AmazonGrace]

Jesus has half a leg here: 

[church_of_dog]

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

Whatever happened to the caddy Jesus's feet? He looks kinda short and the gown just fades away at about knee height. 

 

56 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

It looks like Jesus popped out of the ground, like the gopher in the movie Caddyshack!

 

I was thinking maybe sand trap?

1 hour ago, formergothardite said:

 

I thought the point of Jesus watching/helping was to keep a person safe during a potentially dangerous experience -- I know drywalling is hard work but didn't realize it was so risky...

It also looks to me like George Michael is learning to mud a wall...

[AmazonGrace]

Here are detailed instructions on how to draw Jesus 

http://www.wikihow.com/Draw-Jesus

Jesus has a center parting, straight or wavy hair below the shoulders and small lips. 

[December]

39 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

 

Seriously, I'd be looking pretty tense if someone was gripping my shoulders while I drove, too! I'm pretty sure they teach in all driver's ed courses that distracted driving is dangerous -- no exceptions!

[AnywhereButHere]

2 minutes ago, December said:

Seriously, I'd be looking pretty tense if someone was gripping my shoulders while I drove, too! I'm pretty sure they teach in all driver's ed courses that distracted driving is dangerous -- no exceptions!

Jesus, take the wheel!

[formergothardite]

Jesus is leaning on the person being operated on! Plus, he really needs to get his long wavy hair out of the way. 

[AmazonGrace]

15 minutes ago, church_of_dog said:

 

I thought the point of Jesus watching/helping was to keep a person safe during a potentially dangerous experience -- I know drywalling is hard work but didn't realize it was so risky...

 

Well I suppose since it's "With you always", the risk factor of the activity is irrelevant. Jesus is also with an insurance agent and a mother kissing her child, a guitarist and a couple of people reading a book... 

He could be there to help you do a good job, remind you to think good thoughts while doing nothing or to protect you from having a heart attack. 

[Coy Koi]

7 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Here are detailed instructions on how to draw Jesus 

http://www.wikihow.com/Draw-Jesus

Jesus has a center parting, straight or wavy hair below the shoulders and small lips. 

Thanks, but I think I'm WELL aware of how to draw White Jesus! In 2nd grade at Catholic school I actually tied for first place when we drew Jesus in art class (no small feat because the art teacher's niece won first place literally 100% of the time but every once in a while one of us would tie. And yes, every single drawing we did was ranked based on how closely we mimicked the teacher's drawing).

[AmazonGrace]

Someone is also with you while you're washing your hair: 

[MargaretElliott]

So.... those Always With You Jesus pictures? Some wonderful humans have taken the liberty of re-captioning them. I've put some of the less offensive ones below. Still kind of offensive, though. Naughty language, disrespect towards religion, all that. I think they're funny. But I'm going to hell, so... 

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

 

[catlady]

"With You Always" Jesus is the ultimate micromanager; he doesn't seem to think anybody can do anything right without him.  he needs to learn how to delegate.

[AmazonGrace]

Ouch. 

Re: the mocking of religious feelings: I think that for the most part people who are touched by the comforting message  in these pictures (that Jesus is always there helping you no matter what) have no need to worry about the opinions of random strangers on a snark site who feel differently. If you're drawing for religious people, never mind the snark if it's coming from the unsaved. Even if it's another Christian, does it really matter? Not everyone needs to be touched by the same religious art. 

But if you're making art in order to convert people and spread the gospel  then paying attention to the atheist snark might be worth your while, to figure out what effect you're having on people who do not already agree with you. 

At one time I read a lot of Jehovah's witness literature and I swear that the art in the books was a big part in making the whole thing seem unbelievable. 

 

[ladyaudley]

My favourite thing about the armwrestling one is that it's just such a bad fake beard on Jesus. come on. At least spring for theatre quality!