Unintentionally hilarious religious art

[smittykins]

13 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

Oleo Lord... 

My favorite is "Holy smoke, it's Jesus," from the verse written after the fire.

18 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

WAS Big Butter Jesus REALLY made out of butter, or was that just its color?

Just the color(it reminded Heywood of butter sculptures seen at fairs).

[Black Aliss]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

As you can tell from my avi, I effing love Anglo Jesus portrayals. This hottie boxer Jesus is my favorite. He is gonna TKO Satan in under a minute:

And I think he might be a younger version of The Big Lebowski.

Those depictions of Jesus as shirtless, buff AF and glistening with oil remind me so much of the "art" that adorned The Reverend Ted Haggerty's House-o-Homophobia-and-Grift that I can pretty well guess which team the artist bats for.

[JermajestyDuggar]

45 minutes ago, smittykins said:

My favorite is "Holy smoke, it's Jesus," from the verse written after the fire.

Just the color(it reminded Heywood of butter sculptures seen at fairs).

He's also called touchdown Jesus. 

 

Back before the fire, the funniest thing to do to people who aren't from Ohio is to just drive them on the highway and don't warn them of The Jesus coming up. Then as you get closer, their reaction was usually priceless. 

"What is that thing over there?"

*closer*

"is that some sort of statue?"

*closer*

"wait a second... is that motherfucking..... Jesus signaling a touchdown?!?!?!"

[Howl]

@JermajestyDuggar, "As you can tell from my avi, I effing love Anglo Jesus portrayals."

I had forgotten about one of my all time favorite succinct comic strips, the brilliant coffeewithjesus.com so thanks for that reminder! 

[older than allosaurs]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

He's also called touchdown Jesus.

"wait a second... is that motherfucking..... Jesus signaling a touchdown?!?!?!"

Did anyone else learn this one in the early '60s?

 

Oh, the game was played on a Saturday, in the Devil's own backyard

With Jesus playing quarterback and Moses playing guard.

The angels in the grandstand gave out a mighty yell,

When Jesus scored a touchdown, against the boys from hell.

Oh, pray with God, stay with God. 

Jesus on the one-yard line, Moses doing might fine.

Pray with God, stay with God.

Rock 'em sock 'em knock 'em block 'em, Stay with God.

Christianity hits the spot. Twelve disciples, that's a lot.

Jesus Christ and the Virgin too. Christianity's the one for you!

[pooplexed]

10 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

Reminded me of something I saw on Patheos years ago so I hunted it down...

Apparently it's something a whole cult about boinkin' for Jesus published, so, even more "welp".

Comment: I copied and printed this and I am hanging a framed copy by the  crate  prayer closet I had to pull back out for my naughty dog. She has developed the habit of eating random things and throwing them up. 

[ChunkyBarbie]

16 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

He looks like one of the Gibbs brothers. Andy? Barry?

I think Barry with a splash of Kris Kristofferson and Grizzly Adams. 

[Terrie]

What gets me is all the classical art of saints with serious O face. Especially the art commissioned by the Catholic Church. "We frown on sex, but not on using sex to sell our product!"

[CTRLZero]

2 minutes ago, Terrie said:

What gets me is all the classical art of saints with serious O face. Especially the art commissioned by the Catholic Church. "We frown on sex, but not on using sex to sell our product!"

I was just looking at classical church art as a result of this thread.  Last year I went to an art exhibit and was especially impressed by the sci-fi feel of some of the early church artwork.  For example, the transference of stigmata to various saints looks like laser beams, and I spotted Jesus wearing what looked like a jet-pack (exhaust flares blazing) arriving on scene from outer space.

I failed at uploading a couple of examples, but my search terms were "stigmata" and "artwork."  Very imaginative stuff.

[Elegant Mess]

18 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

Is it just me, or do others think this one looks like Jesus is having a Big O?

LOLing at all of these submissions - great thread!

[dramallama]

22 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

My contribution: Ohio's pride and joy, the big butter Jesus, presented before and after lightning strike.

I always looked forward to seeing Big Butter Jesus when heading down 75 to the outlet mall or IKEA outside of Cincinnati.  The replacement does his memory no justice.

[Grimalkin]

4 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

Is it just me, or do others think this one looks like Jesus is having a Big O?

LOLing at all of these submissions - great thread!

He looks like he got knocked out by boxing Jesus. "STELLA!"

[catlady]

23 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

He looks like one of the Gibbs brothers. Andy? Barry?

My first thought was Barry!

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

Ok, not exactly hilarious, just bad art. This is the cover of a book my Mother somehow aquired in the early 1970s. I remember reading it on the sly. I was still in Elementary school,but a voracious reader  of all books, appropriate or not.

The book told the (supposedly true, but probably heavily embroidered) tale of a prostitute/heroine addict/devil worshipper who gets saved. Yay Jesus!  It's an extravaganza of lurid scenes and trashy writing style.  Dunno what my mother was doing with it, just glad she didn't know her pre teen daughter was reading it! 

[Rowan]

4 hours ago, dramallama said:

I always looked forward to seeing Big Butter Jesus when heading down 75 to the outlet mall or IKEA outside of Cincinnati.  The replacement does his memory no justice.

I never saw the original - but saw the replacement for the first time tonight, most of my travels around Cincy have been east side or central, never in that direction. My husband I know someone who is in a carving club with the person who designed the new one. I did wonder where people took the O-H-I-O photos from since there is basically nothing but highway shoulder in front of it.

[SamiKatz]

21 hours ago, lawfulevil said:

Reminded me of something I saw on Patheos years ago so I hunted it down...

Apparently it's something a whole cult about boinkin' for Jesus published, so, even more "welp".

 

Oh no.  I'm just getting over a cold!

[ladyamylynn]

Speaking of buff Jesus...

[Black Aliss]

9 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

 

Is it just me, or do others think this one looks like Jesus is having a Big O?

 

Is it just me, or are other people seeing Donald Trump's lips everywhere these days?

[AmazonGrace]

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

I just can't!!!

I tried to pick a favourite, but one is even better than the other, or might I say equally terrible? Thanks!

 

[moodygirl86]

On 7.01.2017 at 0:46 AM, Grimalkin said:

       I need a really good laugh at the moment. We were laughing on the Munk thread and I did not want to derail it. 

    http://www.cracked.com/article_19947_the-11-most-unintentionally-hilarious-religious-paintings.html

I will post a few highlights and some I found.

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This man looks so annoyed at Jesus. 

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I didn't know Dave Grohl had a part time life modelling job for spoof religious artists...

[paganbaby]

These are all just amazing. My tiny contribution is "Forgiven" by Thomas Blackshear. This picture is notable for being one of Ted Haggard's favorites. It hung in his church prior to his fall from grace. I don't know how anyone could have possibly guessed he was gay. There is no homoerotic subtext at all here.

 

[nastyhobbitses]

Spoiler

Look, man, I know he looks like Billy Ray Cyrus at a toga party, but if anyone can help us lock down that merger, he can.

[AmazonGrace]

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

WTF? Did he deliberately do that to honor his patron?