see I am a virgin see my white flag?

[FearLyss]

I don't know, remaining "pure" would have been pretty difficult for me. I didn't feel the need to try though.

I guess I can kind of see it from the perspective of the men she has dated. I once dated a guy who wanted to wait. He was not a virgin, but wanted to wait to have sex again until marriage. I ran as fast as I could (truthfully, I assumed he was bad in bed). I have no problem with anybody who wants to remain pure, however, I could never commit to somebody who might not be able to meet my needs, I need to know. After our split, he told me that I did not find him worth the wait or value his beliefs (which is true). According to him, I just wanted a "bad boy". I would not consider the men I have had sex with to be bad in any way. His beliefs called for somebody I was not, which is why I ended it, but he was not happy about that situation. He always said things on facebook about how the good guy never gets the girl . . . I just think he is looking in the wrong places (the bar for one, lol). He wanted things his way, and when I did not agree and decided to respectfully move on, he threw a little temper tantrum

Whether or not a woman is a virgin has no bearing on her value and if a man does not want to be with her, she just has to deal with it, realizing it would never worked out anyway. I don't get what her problem is.

My aunt remained a virgin until she was married at 32. She thinks it is a great accomplishment and while I disagree with that, she never got pissed because men did not want to wait for marriage, she just kept looking.

[luckystone]

What bothers me about this is that she says she's remaining a virgin so it can be a gift to her future husband. I think this is the kind of decision she should make for herself, and because she thinks it's right for her or beneficial to her life in some way, and not because she's offering it up as a gift to some man. . . a man, by the way, that she hasn't even met yet. I think that's just as disturbing as the person who has sex with someone when they're not ready just to please that other person. Women like that seem to be removing themselves (and their own feelings and needs) from the equation and making it all about the man. It's sad.

That's true. It doesn't seem like something she wants. In fact it seems to be hampering her and she presumably has issues about it, based on what she's said. I don't think it's even that weird, I think a surprising number of people who are shy or otherwise busy don't have sex until late 20s, you just don't hear about it. We don't even know if this mystery hypothetical man would want her to do that! Surely your partner would want you to have been happy before you met them, not being all miserable about sex in an attempt to please them.

[nolongerIFBx]

"It is easy to remain virtuous when no one is interested in your virture." I read that once. It's only hard to remain a virgin if you're with someone who is wanting sex. Otherwise you'd have to pay for it, LOL, so it's pretty easy to avoid.

[longskirtlotsakids]

I agree with the above post that said if staying a virgin is the hardest thing for her, she's got to get out more.

All I can envision is her in a race running away from a mob of hot guys running after her with huge erections. It's like she has to dodge and twist to keep these penises from hitting her vagina as she walks down the street.

This is exacerbated by her claim she can't find a boyfriend. If she was dating someone she really loved, then maybe. But if she isn't dating anyone, why is it so damn hard for her to keep her hymen intact?

Maybe she'll crotch a hurdle someday, break her sacred maidenhead and then go to town. When she finally opens her bun for the tube steak I think she's going to either be disappointed or regretful she wasted so much time.

[longskirtlotsakids]

Also, I'd say to her, good luck on finding a 28 year old male virgin, or 25 year old for that matter. But she'll have no problem finding one that claims to be :roll:

[crassy]

Why do these people think I want to know what they do or do not put into their vaginas. Honestly!

[luckystone]

All I can envision is her in a race running away from a mob of hot guys running after her with huge erections. It's like she has to dodge and twist to keep these penises from hitting her vagina as she walks down the street.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[doggie]

a very good followup.

Is Being a 29-Year-Old Virgin Really an Accomplishment?

Last week on HBO’s Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, Olympic track and field star Lori “Lolo†Jones confirmed personal details more shocking than steroid abuse or an extramarital affair: She was 29 years old and had never had sex.

Apparently, an adult woman’s choice to remain a virgin is such bombshell news that it makes next-day headlines on People.com, the Los Angeles Times, and the Washington Post. As evidenced by an incredibly unfunny TMZ segment that implies the Olympian should be humiliated by her chastity, there’s certainly a stigma attached to being a virgin in your late 20s. Jones deserves praise because no doubt, her announcement made many others choosing to abstain from sex feel more confident in their decisions.

However, Jones also ascribes an irksomely large value to virginity. In the Real Sports interview, she said maintaining her sexual purity is "the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s harder than training for the Olympics." For those who don’t know Jones’ remarkable racing history, she is essentially claiming that not having sex is more difficult than training to run 60-meter hurdles in under eight seconds flat; not only is that hyperbolic, but it insults the willpower, strength, and commitment Jones devotes to her sport—or any personal endeavor other than abstinence. Jones places virginity on such an impossibly high pedestal that even the greatest athletic event in the world could not compare with (marital) sex. It is completely understandable that Jones wants to combat the “uncoolness†associated with being a nonsexually active adult, but feeding into a mythical cult of virginity does not help matters. Rewarding chastity only serves to shift rather than resist the flak associated with adult abstinence.

That Jones makes her virginity into a prize is also problematic because it is not ultimately even a decision for herself. Jones stated during the interview that "It’s just a gift I want to give my husband." Really, something that supposedly involves more work and discipline than making the Olympics is for some person you haven’t even met yet? While Jones’ faith in her future spouse is admirable (especially for someone who has braved the online dating world) it’s disheartening that her choice to remain a virgin is not for her own sake, but someone else’s. If virginity is commodified into the “perfect gift,†it becomes about a woman pleasing a man rather than herself, and it is difficult to picture the determined and forceful Jones being that submissive in any other aspect of her life.

It is hard not to be a little cynical about any highly public commitment to chastity. The Olympian tweeted her virgin status herself, thus prompting the questions on Real Sports in the first place, and her followers have since risen by 40 percent.

We’ve witnessed the attention that many a young female pop-singer has garnered through claims of sexual purity, and we’ve seen them fall at the wayside, as well. Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus appeared to shrug off their vows of chastity as they aged, and Jessica Simpson married young (and promptly stopped worrying about sex out of wedlock post-Lachey divorce).

Jones is older and wiser than these women were when they made such declarations, but she still misses the point that (not having) sex should be neither ridiculed nor glorified. If it’s what she wants, I hope Jones will give her future husband her virginity. But she should keep the “medals†for herself.