Child Forgotten at Chuck E Cheese

[LadyBlue]

It happens scary as it is!! Hasn't happened to me yet....I used to have nightmares about leaving a infant in a carrier on top of the car and driving off! No idea why cuz I never put a seat on top of the car but it was my constant night mare.

My cousin and I went out shopping one day she came and picked me up we drove to the next city and went to several little strip malls only really going into one store at the 3 we went to. It was about 2 hours after we left my house at the 3rd store we finally found what we wanted. She unlocked the car and started putting her stuff in the trunk while I put mine in the backseat.. I opened the door and found her newborn in his infant carseat! He was quiet and seemed to be asleep I started screaming I had no idea she had brought him. I thought he was gone..It was July...but thankgod a mild day for once. I have no idea how that baby ended up being ok but he was and my cousin was beside herself she never remembered taking him her dh had her other kids. Its been 15 yrs and she still cries when she thinks about that day.. but her memory is blank still she doesn't remember taking him and I sure hadn't heard him or looked back :( I think my cousin had gone so long on such little sleep her mind just wasn't with it! I'm living that life now my daughter sometimes goes 48 hours without sleeping and it really does mess with your head. I never have had a problem with memory loss but now I do during those days I haven't slept.

Such a scary story! So glad the baby was ok. This kind of thing is why I don't think parents who forget their babies/toddlers should be charged. I do believe they honestly don't remember and charging them isn't going to do anything to prevent it happening again. There actually is a device that will sound if there's a child in a car seat in the back, but manufacturers/retails don't want to install/sell them because they're afraid they'll get sued if it fails, so parents are left to come up with their own ways to make sure they remember. I think the best one I heard was to always put your purse in the back if you have a rear facing child with you.

[godlytomatosoup]

"the little girl's mother, whose children range in age from two to 15"

So, if she is 32, and her oldest is 15 then my GUESS is she isn't fundy... and the name doesn't sound fundy to me :) Not that she couldn't be fundy and had her first at 17, but that's a lil' young even in fundydom :)

She's a single mother and she's been having nearly one kid a year since she was seventeen? Now I'm feeling almost as sorry for her as I do for her kids. I really don't think this is how she wanted to live her life.

FJites who know more about children than I do: at what age can you reasonably expect a kid to rattle off their surname, mother's name, address and phone number, assuming they've been taught to do so? The CNN article says she's five, which I would have thought was old enough, but the Daily Mail article said three. If she's five, then it sounds like either her mother never taught her to memorise those things, or else maybe she was too panicked to remember.

[slickcat79]

This kind of thing is why I don't think parents who forget their babies/toddlers should be charged. I do believe they honestly don't remember and charging them isn't going to do anything to prevent it happening again. There actually is a device that will sound if there's a child in a car seat in the back, but manufacturers/retails don't want to install/sell them because they're afraid they'll get sued if it fails, so parents are left to come up with their own ways to make sure they remember. I think the best one I heard was to always put your purse in the back if you have a rear facing child with you.

You can use the same logic with any crime. Intent matters, but the result matters more. If they're not going to remember the kid just because they put the kid in the car, maybe facing a fine or some jail time will make them remember next time. It should certainly stick out in their memory. And that's if they're lucky enough to have not killed the kid, in which case it won't matter next time.

[gilora]

You can use the same logic with any crime. Intent matters, but the result matters more. If they're not going to remember the kid just because they put the kid in the car, maybe facing a fine or some jail time will make them remember next time. It should certainly stick out in their memory. And that's if they're lucky enough to have not killed the kid, in which case it won't matter next time.

Intent matters more. While this woman is an idiot, it doesn't benefit society to put her in jail for an act of negligence. Who will care for those 10 children while she's serving time? Think of this scenario: two mothers leave children at Chuck E. Cheese. One forgets the child in the party-leaving rush, and doesn't realize it until the next day. She calls 911 and is reunited with her child. She feels the same remorse felt by others who have accidentally left a child. The other mother decides that the party is a good opportunity to "forget" an unwanted child. She leaves the party knowing the child is alone. She does not call 911 the next day. Which mother is a bigger danger to her children and to society in general?

[LilBit0318]

FJites who know more about children than I do: at what age can you reasonably expect a kid to rattle off their surname, mother's name, address and phone number, assuming they've been taught to do so? The CNN article says she's five, which I would have thought was old enough, but the Daily Mail article said three. If she's five, then it sounds like either her mother never taught her to memorise those things, or else maybe she was too panicked to remember.

I would say probably by 3 or so. I know I could've done it by then. Of course, I have to tell you I was quite verbal as a toddler & would actually surprise people who met me with how well I spoke & the things I would say. And my full name, address, & phone number were things my parents drilled into me, I'm sure in case there was a situation where I got lost or something. Thank goodness I never got lost for more than probably a matter of seconds, so there was never a situation where I needed to use it when I was in a panic or anything. Not sure what would've happened then.

[J-Watcher]

http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/09/us/texas-forgotten-child/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

Granted Chuck E. Cheeze does not normally go with "fundie", but that's still up in the range of the size of the families we observe. I'd be surprised that the Duggars haven't lost one, but the camera crew supplies an extra 3 adults easy.

Most Chuck E. Cheese restaurants serve alcohol. I don't think the the child was the focus of the mother's attention at this "birthday party", and strongly suspect "alcohol was involved" in her failure to notice that the birthday girl was not in the vehicle when the mother DROVE the other 9 children home, and was nowhere to be found when tuck-into-bed time finally rolled around. Nice that CPS took the forgotten 5 year old into custody, but it sounds like the other 9 kids need to be taken into custody too, and the mother taken into a different sort of custody.

[J-Watcher]

My parents accidentally left me behind at a gas station in Houston (on Telephone Road by the airport). I came out of the restroom to see them and my two siblings driving off. It was my first time in Houston and I knew NOBODY. But I didn't panic, I just waited until they came back about 10 minutes later.

Moral of the story: even with three kids, you can still leave one behind.

But it says something positive about your parents that you weren't panicked because you knew they'd notice quickly and come back. And they did.

[Conuly]

The fact is that human memory doesn't work the way you want. If you can forget your phone somewhere, you can forget your kid.

These forgotten kid cases tend to have a number of things in common:

1. For the kids in cars, the kid was very young or else otherwise unable to get out on their own.

2. The parents were overtired, maybe they'd been sick recently or somebody had had to take on extra hours at work.

3a. There had been a change in routine or schedule - the kid usually went with Dad to school but today Mom had to drop her off, but because the kid was quiet Mom forgot the change and went on auto-pilot straight to her next task.

3b. This can go in conjunction with 3a, or it can go in place of it: There were often multiple responsible adults, each of whom thought another person was watching the child.

Unfortunately, this can really happen to anybody. (And it can work in reverse as well! My mother knew a woman who, overtired, changed her routine and dropped her younger kid off at preschool before dropping the older one off at kindergarten. When she got back to the car and didn't see the preschooler she panicked and called the police. Several hours later she finally remembered that the kid was safe at preschool. I can't even count the number of times I've been on the bus and suddenly panicked, certain I was supposed to be watching my nieces that day. Always this is on a day when they're visiting their grandparents or their mom had the day off.)

The best bet is to assume you always are the one watching the kid and take frequent headcounts if you're in a crowd or if the children are small enough to get misplaced easily. (Obviously, even if you DO forget your ten year old, not much is likely to happen to the kid other than a bit of boredom. But a three year old might wander right into traffic.) If you're in the car, make it your routine to check the back seat EVERY SINGLE RIDE even if you know you don't have the child. By making it part of your routine, you're making it less likely you'll forget on that one day you're sleepy and sick and the kid isn't making any noise. I know people who always put their purse in the backseat, or who have resorted to buckling themselves to the back of their seat, just so they HAVE to check that back every time they get out of the car. It's silly, but being a good parent doesn't prevent you from slipping up. Would that it did!

[slickcat79]

Intent matters more. While this woman is an idiot, it doesn't benefit society to put her in jail for an act of negligence. Who will care for those 10 children while she's serving time? Think of this scenario: two mothers leave children at Chuck E. Cheese. One forgets the child in the party-leaving rush, and doesn't realize it until the next day. She calls 911 and is reunited with her child. She feels the same remorse felt by others who have accidentally left a child. The other mother decides that the party is a good opportunity to "forget" an unwanted child. She leaves the party knowing the child is alone. She does not call 911 the next day. Which mother is a bigger danger to her children and to society in general?

Well...yeah. That's kind of the point. I don't think you can say "don't punish the parents who forget their children" because it might not be as accidental as they're making it out to be. As far as I could tell, the other post wasn't referring to this woman in particular, but to people who forget their children in general. Leaving them alone somewhere for a few minutes is one thing, but overnight is a long-ass time to forget that you're down one kid.

[Witsec7]

I must say I never forgot the kid, but the DDs father did, the day we were leaving for Vegas to get married. He packed the car for the trip and showed up at the company Xmas party sans child. I was :o WTF where is my baby (this was like the second week she was in daycare 2 houses down the street from us)?

[ladypuglover]

This kind of thing is why I don't think parents who forget their babies/toddlers should be charged. I do believe they honestly don't remember and charging them isn't going to do anything to prevent it happening again. There actually is a device that will sound if there's a child in a car seat in the back, but manufacturers/retails don't want to install/sell them because they're afraid they'll get sued if it fails, so parents are left to come up with their own ways to make sure they remember. I think the best one I heard was to always put your purse in the back if you have a rear facing child with you.

And putting my purse in the back with Navypuglover was rewarded with my wallet, his shoe, his bottle and the entire contents of my purse thrown out the window when he was 16 months old. What works is making it ingrained action to look into every child's face/eyes before leaving. You will miss the child right away if you are trained to look for the child before driving away. Since doing that I have never left another kiddo. And now I look like an idiot looking for kids that are in school but better safe than sorry. Oh well I still jiggle my cart every time I hear a baby cry and my youngest is an old man of 10. some habits die hard.

[AudreyE]

This is just wild speculation, and probably kind of crappy, but if you don't miss your 5 year old child until the next day, then I start to suspect drug abuse or severe depression or something else very fishy. I don't care how many kids you have, you're checking in on the small kids more often than that, if you're stable.

[QAF_Rocks]

This is just wild speculation, and probably kind of crappy, but if you don't miss your 5 year old child until the next day, then I start to suspect drug abuse or severe depression or something else very fishy. I don't care how many kids you have, you're checking in on the small kids more often than that, if you're stable.

Well, the party ended very late. So if the family got home at 10:30 or 11:00 and went straight to bed, there probably wouldn't have been any baths, bedtime rituals, etc. Not that it's an excuse, but it may be why no one noticed until the next morning.

[naysayersspeak]

Have any of you read the article from a few years ago about people who leave their kids in cars? It's worth a look

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

(not breaking the link 'cause it's the Washington Post).

It's completely haunting, but certainly made me very sympathetic towards the parents. It's easy to say "who could forget a baby", but the brain doesn't really work that way. A very long article, but worth your time.

[Koala]

This is just wild speculation, and probably kind of crappy, but if you don't miss your 5 year old child until the next day, then I start to suspect drug abuse or severe depression or something else very fishy. I don't care how many kids you have, you're checking in on the small kids more often than that, if you're stable.

I agree. At 5 she would have needed help getting jammies, teeth brushed, and kisses good night. My kids are 7 & 8 and I still check on them during the night.

[Georgiana]

This kind of thing is why I don't think parents who forget their babies/toddlers should be charged. I do believe they honestly don't remember and charging them isn't going to do anything to prevent it happening again. There actually is a device that will sound if there's a child in a car seat in the back, but manufacturers/retails don't want to install/sell them because they're afraid they'll get sued if it fails, so parents are left to come up with their own ways to make sure they remember. I think the best one I heard was to always put your purse in the back if you have a rear facing child with you.

Charged? Maybe not. Have the home life looked into? Definitely yes. This situation has raised a lot of red flags with all of us here. True, forgetting kids happens, but not realizing it for over 8 hours? That is serious. Luckily they weren't, but that kid could have been in real danger. I think that this situation does warrant SOMEONE looking into this seriously to see if this was an honest mistake with a ton of coincidences or if this is a symptom of an unsafe home environment. When it comes to the safety of children, I think it's best to err on the side caution.

BTW, this is how my (adopted) sister was taken from her mother. Her mother forgot her and someone called CPS when she didn't come back to get her. Of course, the REASON she forgot my sister was because of her cocaine habit and the way she was financing said habit. Maybe 9/10 times it's honest error from a good mom. But when there are red flags like this, that usually means that something else is at play, and someone needs to make sure that that something else isn't going to hurt the kids. And it can help the moms too! There are a lot of moms who, because of something like this, get help. Sometimes this happens because the moms are trapped by mental illness such as depression or feeling supremely overwhelmed. Sometimes the interference of a 3rd party can help them get access to the help they need.

[Elle]

I have a cousin who lost her first, and at the time, only, child, while on a drug binge. She no longer has custody, but that's different, I guess. Just as much her fault.

There is so much wrong with that story. A 5th birthday wrapping up at 10? I had my 5th at Chuck E Cheese and it was over by 6. And of all the kids to not notice missing, why did no one say good night to the birthday girl?

I'm glad CPS has her right now, and hope an investigation is launched into whether or not the parents can even keep this many kids safe. Of ALL the kids to forget, it was the one who should have been the center of attention, and that makes this more alarming than if another one of the kids had been the birthday child instead. Though that still wouldn't be acceptable. There was an empty bed, or or they bed-shared, then a bedmate who didn't care. Something's really wrong.

[ladypuglover]

Oh, leaving kids has been a problem for eons. But this next case is also famous for losing her for 3 days before finding him!.

http://www.hissheep.org/messages/mary-l ... emple.html

Luke 2:41-45 “Now his parents went to Jerusalem every year at the feast of the passover. And when he was twelve years old, they went up to Jerusalem after the custom of the feast. And when they had fulfilled the days, as they returned, the child Jesus tarried behind in Jerusalem; and Joseph and his mother knew not of it. But they, supposing him to have been in the company, went a day's journey; and they sought him among their kinsfolk and acquaintance. And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him.â€

Mary had lost Jesus. She didn’t know where He was or what had happened to Him. But the reality was that nothing had happened to Jesus. He had not deserted or left or ran away from her. Just think about this scenario. Who are the parents and who is the child? Would you take such a thing for granted and assume something so important concerning your son? Especially when your son is a miracle child, the Son of God, miraculously conceived as no other son in history. Think about it. Who was at fault here? It was not Jesus, the boy for not keeping track of His mother and knowing what she was doing.

Luke 2:46-51 “And it came to pass, that after three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the doctors, both hearing them, and asking them questions. And all that heard him were astonished at his understanding and answers. And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing. And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business? And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart.â€

The fact is; Mary had lost Jesus in the temple.

[sassyNoz47]

They are talking about this on HLN right now! Got a panel of moms and drs discussing how/why ect. It happened 2x in one week at 2 different CC. The first case was a 3 year old I have a link to that story. She was at a party with both parents who were seperated they both left thinking the other parent had her. They didn't know she was even lost until they saw her pic on the news the next day. She was returned to her parents because they believed thier story. The one with the 10 kids has all her kids but the 5 yr old is still in protective services.

What I don't understand is when you go to CC they put braclets on you and you are matched to your children this way someone else doesn't leave with your kid. So just going back home after a trip there makes me double check my kids as they scan us. It seems like the one place with that added check out process that this wouldn't happen

[LadyBlue]

Have any of you read the article from a few years ago about people who leave their kids in cars? It's worth a look

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

(not breaking the link 'cause it's the Washington Post).

It's completely haunting, but certainly made me very sympathetic towards the parents. It's easy to say "who could forget a baby", but the brain doesn't really work that way. A very long article, but worth your time.

That's the article I was thinking about.

As for what age know all their details, my 10 year old is shaky on address and phone number, but usually gets them right and is fine on everything else. The 6 year old knows his name, our names and sometimes gets the address and phone number right. He's stubborn and won't practice them, though. The 3 year old is *just* 3 and doesn't yet understand he has more than one name.

[Elle]

They are talking about this on HLN right now! Got a panel of moms and drs discussing how/why ect. It happened 2x in one week at 2 different CC. The first case was a 3 year old I have a link to that story. She was at a party with both parents who were seperated they both left thinking the other parent had her. They didn't know she was even lost until they saw her pic on the news the next day. She was returned to her parents because they believed thier story.

At some point one parent had that child and walked away. How the hell did that happen?

What I don't understand is when you go to CC they put braclets on you and you are matched to your children this way someone else doesn't leave with your kid. So just going back home after a trip there makes me double check my kids as they scan us. It seems like the one place with that added check out process that this wouldn't happen

Since when? I haven't heard of this. Is this just as some Chuck E. Cheeses?

[Koala]

Here you get your child's and your hand stamped w/ a certain number (it can only be seen under blacklight) and they check it before you go out.

[sassyNoz47]

I guess she was attending a party both misunderstood the other parent to say they would take the girl home. So one must of left before the other.. the kid was up in the play area. they did mention that both CC had the security measures in place for leaving.. its either a stamp that u cant see the numbers on or the arm band.. either way u wait in line to get you numbers checked before u leave..

At some point one parent had that child and walked away. How the hell did that happen?

Since when? I haven't heard of this. Is this just as some Chuck E. Cheeses?

[Elle]

As for what age know all their details, my 10 year old is shaky on address and phone number, but usually gets them right and is fine on everything else. The 6 year old knows his name, our names and sometimes gets the address and phone number right. He's stubborn and won't practice them, though. The 3 year old is *just* 3 and doesn't yet understand he has more than one name.

When we were kids, we had identification bracelets with our names, addresses, and phone numbers. They were stainless steel with zoo animals engraved on one side and on the back was our information. Just like this, only zoo animals: http://www.makemethis.com/bracelets-help.html Even after we knew our information, we still had to wear them. As my parents asked, if one of us was injured and couldn't speak, like if we were hit by a car or knocked out somehow, then the information was there. First responders recognize these bracelets.

We tag our dogs and cats. I don't know why more people don't tag their kids. While I don't understand how people can leave a restaurant and not know their kid is still there, I do know kids run off and someone else, hopefully someone nice, can find them before the parents, and having that info helps contact the parents.

[Patsy]

http://www.hissheep.org/messages/mary-lost-jesus-in-the-temple.html

Wow. The 'message' there is not that Mary was a careless, ungrateful and neglectful mother, thanks very much, his sheep messages.

... did my Catholic upbringing rub off on me more than I thought? Because that really pissed me off.