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Another questionable adoption blog-SHE FOUND US UPDATE


Milly-Molly-Mandy

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lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/

She has written posts about how her 3 new daughters are difficult and THANKFULLY her OWN children are so well trained.

She has now instigated boot camp

So...too far or is she just a Mum with a lot on her plate?

She doesn't seem abusive just a bit clueless.

edited by admin to fix link

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Ok... I will be following this one...

Links to 4 other adoptive moms: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/play-date_14.html

Girls can apparently wear normal swimsuits until 8: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/splash-park.html

She feels the need to spell Ethiopia phonetically, instead of just saying, "It's pronounced like the COUNTRY!": lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/ethiopia.html

Or perhaps longer on the suits: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/swimming.html

She's not 100% culturally insensitive (but maybe 99%): lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/06/hair.html

Where's mom's big 'ol flower: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/06/before-and-after.html

And the adopted kids get to see an uncle who lives in the US: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater.html

Well, I like them better than the Duggars. We'll see...

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Not that it's all good: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-weve-been-up-to.html

Don't get me wrong from above. She's a nut too. Who's allowing these women to adopt while preggers??

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I actually think she seems OK from the few posts I read over there...

The boot camp is not like KICK BUTT boot camp, it's like she wrote a bunch of verses and instructions on a whiteboard. And I liked that she had the responsibilities/instructions for mom and dad, too, not just kids!

And as long as she is not going to send her kids away, she is 100 times better than Emma!

I think it is awesome that her daughters have an uncle that lives in the US and can see them!

I'm sure there some crazy fundie part in there that I missed, and I definitely don't think she can really pay enough attention to each kid with so freaking many, but I think she seems better than most!

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Oops, I spoke too soon:

lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/did-you-know.html

DO SOME RESEARCH, MISSY! If the pill only prevented implantation, then it would not work to help my sister who is allergic to her own progesterone. She takes the pill to prevent OVULATION, and if it didn't work, she would be having her whole body swell up right now.

Also, continuing to have kids and have kids and have kids with no regard for the ones you already have is ridiculous.

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Oops, I spoke too soon:

lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/05/did-you-know.html

DO SOME RESEARCH, MISSY! If the pill only prevented implantation, then it would not work to help my sister who is allergic to her own progesterone. She takes the pill to prevent OVULATION, and if it didn't work, she would be having her whole body swell up right now.

Also, continuing to have kids and have kids and have kids with no regard for the ones you already have is ridiculous.

I forgot about this one before I commented. I'm sure it can prevent implantation, but as I understand that's in large doses, like the morning after pill :angry-banghead:

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Tee hee.

I love all our girls' hair! Iris' toehead, Emma's thick locks, Kaleita's soft curls, Alemtsehay's tight, springy curls and Ethiopia's mane!

Is anyone else reminded of the episode of Full House where Joey is very depressed and confesses he was teased when he was younger because "My head.... is shaped like a toe. All the kids called me toe-head!"

(FTR, it's tow head, tow referring to the light beige fiber of flax or hemp when its spun.)

ETA - I'm not snarking on her for it, it's an easy mistake to make. Just thought it was funny.

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Well she has all the usual fundie lines but from what I have read so far she seems like she cares for both her adopted and birth children. As long as the kids are safe I will put her in the "benign" category. We'll see if manages to wackadoo it out in later posts. :|

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OK, not Emma material but:

She's quoting Debi Pearl.

She's excited about Ann Voskamp's new book.

She's listening to Victoria Botkin.

...me not likey.

And um...

When they were officially referred to us about two weeks later (Aug 4), we were told they were 5, 6 and 7 years old. After measuring them and comparing their heights with our kids here, we decided they were 6, 7 and 9.

Here's the kicker (finally, I know)...Today I got an email from the agency saying that the girls had had their medical exams by the Embassy doctor and the doctor had determined that the girls are actually 7, 8 and 11!

If we had started out with these girls in mind for our home study, we may have only had the oldest age listed as 10 thinking surely she's not more than 3 years older than what she came in as.

God totally knew that we needed to have that age on our home study! Isn't that awesome!?!!

Man, people ascribe so much stuff to God, it's kinda...

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I'd but her in the benign category as well. I am glad those three girls can have access to their uncle.

Yeah I don't know if God decided to change the age estimates several times. It's more that Ethopians don't as a culture celebrate birthdays or record them so adoption agencies/child care centers have to guess at ages for official records. And often they guess low because younger children are more likely to be adopted.

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She feels the need to spell Ethiopia phonetically, instead of just saying, "It's pronounced like the COUNTRY!":

New user. But gotta respond to this one (my husband is Ethiopian and my kids have Ethiopian names, so this blog caught my eye). The reason she did that is because the name (and the country) is not pronounced the way we in the West pronounce it. If the girl's name is going to be pronounced properly (the way she is used to), it is important to spell it out for her new family and friends. In doing so she is, in fact, being ethnically sensitive. :) Though personally, I would lay out the phonetics differently than she did.

I like her, so far. And I love that they connected with the girl's uncle. Keeping a relationship with their Ethiopian relatives and having someone who "gets" them when they're going through culture shock and trying to figure out being Ethiopian in America will be so helpful to those girls.

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I've just spent a while on her blog and I don't think she is too bad. We've seen a lot worse and she is in no way in Emma-Strong Quiver league.

I liked how she met with the children's uncle (who lives in the US) and spent time learning about the girls culture. She seems so much more sensitive to the children's culture than Emma was. Those girls look happy and I certainly get the impression that they are loved, which is something that didn't come across in the slightest on Emma's adoption blog.

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New user. But gotta respond to this one (my husband is Ethiopian and my kids have Ethiopian names, so this blog caught my eye). The reason she did that is because the name (and the country) is not pronounced the way we in the West pronounce it. If the girl's name is going to be pronounced properly (the way she is used to), it is important to spell it out for her new family and friends. In doing so she is, in fact, being ethnically sensitive. :) Though personally, I would lay out the phonetics differently than she did.

I like her, so far. And I love that they connected with the girl's uncle. Keeping a relationship with their Ethiopian relatives and having someone who "gets" them when they're going through culture shock and trying to figure out being Ethiopian in America will be so helpful to those girls.

I guess I showed my ignorance there! I never learned phonics in school, or at home, and still don't really get it so maybe I misread her phonetics. Thanks for letting me know :)

I'm a newbie too, though I dove in full-force last night due to insomnia caused by a restless brain :)

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I read her "boot camp" rules. I am always bothered by the fact that so many expect children (and adults) to do things cheerfully, with a smile, immediately, with no questions asked. And that she seems to expect her children to not question. Blind obedience is so dangerous. I expect my children to ask me "why?" And I have taught my children to say NO. And boy are they good at it.

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Judging from what I saw (which is obviously only a tiny part of her life, and what she chooses to put forward), there's love in that family. The kids enjoy each other's company, she loves the girls, they love her. I certainly disagree with some of her beliefs and parenting choices, but I don't think there's anything actively abusive going on there, and she isn't using child obedience as an excuse to ignore her children's emotional needs.

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  • 5 months later...
Not that it's all good: lotsofwagners.blogspot.com/2011/04/what-weve-been-up-to.html

Don't get me wrong from above. She's a nut too. Who's allowing these women to adopt while preggers??

WORD!

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I would just hunt down all these blogs, find these wackos and take the kids into custody. I would make it public. Maybe that would teack other wackjobs a lesson. These people must be found and observed by authorities.

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Meh. They recommend the book "Shepherding a child's heart"... which is all about spanking then telling your kid god told me to... Its as bad as the Pearls in my mind as a whole section talks about blanket training and smacking infants who grab at mom's hair or breast while nursing.

edited because its BREAST not Breat...duh...lol

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Some of the stuff in here seems nutty, but she does seem to genuinely love and want to understand her children. I put that at least a few steps above the woman who was posting the "demon" pictures of those poor kids she had adopted from Haiti,

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"Here are where my primary investments need to be...

1. Helping and meeting the needs of my husband

2. Training my children in righteousness.

All the other stuff (homeschool, housekeeping, to-do lists, etc.) will be what fills in my extra time.

If my focus is right, I won't be upset when the "other stuff" is interrupted by my husband's needs or the need to train my children and attend to their needs, because the "other stuff" is actually the interuption to my primary investments!"

Homeschooling is an interuption to her primary investments? Her husband's (whom I assume is a grown ass adult who can care for his own needs) needs are more important than her children's education?

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She seems pretty harmless. The girls look healthy, loved, happy with wide smiles just like the bio kids. Nothing I've read in the first few pages sound like anything but what I would think would be normal adjustments with older, adopted children. Most of the things she does for dicipline, what I've read thus far, seem to be done with some amount of reason. And she speaks lovingly of the children.

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At least she doesn't believe in flogging her kids for every infraction, no matter how accidental. And, I was very relieved to read this:

I cannot and do not recommend spanking adopted children because there are so many variables with adopted kids. You see, biological children have been bonding with you since the day they were born. You have (hopefully) developed a trust in their lives that you will always be there for them. They are confident that you have their best interests in mind, and you have and will always provide for their well-being physically, spiritually and emotionally. Therefore, a spanking for willful disobedience given with patience and in love is biblical and loving and will restore your relationship rather than alienate.

Children who have been adopted may have issues from abuse or neglect that you may or may not know about and I can't say that the spanking would result in the same outcome.

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This woman's pregnant again. Seventh pregnancy, kid #10, I think she said. At least she seems better able to handle the demands of parenting than LL.

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