Do Fundies Believe Men Are Simple?

[luckylassie]

I don't know what goes on in these fundies minds' but it seems to me that they really do not think grown men can make their own choices. It appears that they have women dress in modest wear so that the men do not have to worry about lusting. Aren't men intelligent enough to turn their heads, keep their own thoughts clean, and not have to rely on someone to shout "Nike" at them? It would seem that fundies don't think this way.

[emmiedahl]

It's funny to me as well. These men are supposed to be so superior to women, and yet they cannot control themselves at the sight of an ankle and (apparently) have to be constantly built up in order to function.

[luckylassie]

Exactly! Why give so much power, control, and glory to the male gender if they can't even control their own minds. It's almost like the fundies treat all men like addicts of whatever sinful thing they think men like.

[BravaAmica]

I think it's a way to control their womenfolk- by putting the burden of their men's lust on them, that's one more thing for them to be responsible for. It dovetails nicely with a baby every year and being an ignorant virgin on your wedding night (low expectations).

Exactly! Why give so much power, control, and glory to the male gender if they can't even control their own minds. It's almost like the fundies treat all men like addicts of whatever sinful thing they think men like.

I asked a fundy-lite/Evangelical friend this very question: Why was her husband the head of the household if he can't control his own mind/actions? She said that her husband as head of the family was how God wants things.

It IS like they treat men like addicts...and the women are the worst enablers.

I've been in The Program. It says clearly in the Big Book that the addiction is between the drunk and the drink, and no one else. Maybe that's why I find that "let's protect our special snowflake mens from pesky, untimely erections" so infuriating.

[Evie Teale]

My husband was much less sex-obsessed until he read a book called "Everyman's Battle," which is a really popular fundy read. According to him, this book says that a ridiculous amount of men "suffer" from lust to some degree. I guess he took that to give him permission to go totally fruitcake about sex. Now he is very pushy about me not saying no when I don't really feel like it, and completely obsessed with how our teen-age daughters (and the girls at church) dress. He is constantly pointing out low cut tops and short skirts.

I hate that book. :evil:

[CanadianHippie]

I think it's a way to control their womenfolk- by putting the burden of their men's lust on them, that's one more thing for them to be responsible for. It dovetails nicely with a baby every year and being an ignorant virgin on your wedding night (low expectations).

I asked a fundy-lite/Evangelical friend this very question: Why was her husband the head of the household if he can't control his own mind/actions? She said that her husband as head of the family was how God wants things.

It IS like they treat men like addicts...and the women are the worst enablers.

I've been in The Program. It says clearly in the Big Book that the addiction is between the drunk and the drink, and no one else. Maybe that's why I find that "let's protect our special snowflake mens from pesky, untimely erections" so infuriating.

I think being an ignorant virgin on her wedding night is more a Fundy form of the virgin fetish than anything else.

I'm still to focused on why these men are apparently incapable of feeling good about themselves if the women around them are in anyway capable of taking care of themselves, so my focus on the "defrauding" aspect of all this is not what it probably should be. I have never met a man who actually felt so emasculated by a capable woman that it harmed his self image irreparably.

[luckylassie]

I know a few non fundie women that think of men as unable to control themselves too. They believe that men are naturally sex hungry and cannot be expected to be confined to one woman.

[debrand]

It isn't just sex. Fundies act as if men fall apart if someone isn't constantly praising them or telling them how wonderful that they are. It is almost like fundie men remain on the emotional level of young children. I've often wondered why more men don't find this mindset offensive.

I would be highly offended if my husband praised me, not because I deserved praise, but because he thought I constantly needed to be reassured how wonderful I was. That would be treating me like a child, not an adult woman

[Evie Teale]

[quote It is almost like fundie men remain on the emotional level of young children. I've often wondered why more men don't find this mindset offensive.

]

[Guest Anonymous]

Evie, just to let you know, my non fundie husband is quite capable of the same behaviour...

I've often thought since it's all on the women to keep modest etc that the viewpoint is that men are incapable of controlling themselves (which extends into worse scenarios when women are blamed for rape etc), and also when a man fails or does poorly in providing for his family, somehow the woman hasn't been encouraging enough. He can't just be an idiot who can't control himself; either his womenfolk haven't been supportive or modest enough.

[liltwinstar]

Because of my fundie upbringing, it took me a long time to realize that men are just as complicated as women - that men have emotions, that they feel things other than lust, etc. I believed men cared about 1. sex 2. food and 3. everything else to a much lesser degree. Strangely, I believed that even though my dad is very loving and quite open about his feelings. But my mom would tell me that there were no good men left in the world and that my dad's goodness was a rarity, so I guess I believed he was the exception. Plus, I knew some spectacularly assholeish men in our church who nevertheless commanded great respect.

It was a really eye opening experience when I found that men are not *always* sex crazed maniacs...

[Confused_by_religion]

Not only do they seem to think that men are simple, they seem to regard them as a mixture of baby and beast. Can't stand any criticism from "helpmeet", can't deal with a miniskirt, can't be asked to take out the trash, can't be held responsible for anything by wife. This just doesn't make sense - on the one hand, pamper them like babies, on the other hand, derfer power and respect on them like on gods - that's bound to corrupt anybody.

I don't know what the women, without whose willing support the whole attitude would collapse, get out of it. Maybe a feeling of power? "It's up to me to cover my ankles/submit willingly/withould constructive criticism from Joe because otherwise he couldn't function? Thank you god for this gift!"

:doh:

[margiebargie]

Not only do they seem to think that men are simple, they seem to regard them as a mixture of baby and beast. Can't stand any criticism from "helpmeet", can't deal with a miniskirt, can't be asked to take out the trash, can't be held responsible for anything by wife. This just doesn't make sense - on the one hand, pamper them like babies, on the other hand, derfer power and respect on them like on gods - that's bound to corrupt anybody.

I don't know what the women, without whose willing support the whole attitude would collapse, get out of it. Maybe a feeling of power? "It's up to me to cover my ankles/submit willingly/withould constructive criticism from Joe because otherwise he couldn't function? Thank you god for this gift!"

:doh:

I'm afraid the women are chasing their tails a bit. They're told to be a godly, meek, submissive homemaker and they will have the perfect family. Of course, when it doesn't pan out in real life, they try to be more godly and submissive and things get worse. So they try even harder, and things get even worse and so on.

I can't stand whiny people who won't take responsibility for themselves. I once hired a guy who turned out to be like that. When I fired him I had to call in the sheriff. It was ugly. Now if I see any hint of that sort of personality during an interview, its over. No way in hell, would I stay married to someone like that. That's just out of the question.