Unintentionally hilarious religious art

[KnittingOwl]

34 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

Our hometown is burning and we don't give a damn: 

So, fish and dolphins? 

Paradise looks a lot like a Lisa Frank poster I had in 3rd grade. 

I love this thread. 

[church_of_dog]

1 hour ago, Howl said:

 

@AmazonGrace, what the HECK is it with giraffes in these pictures (left side of last painting). 

That earlier image trained me well -- now I'm looking for genitals hiding behind all of those tigers.

1 hour ago, AmazonGrace said:

I think one of them might have broken its neck... I googled pictures of giraffes bending down and they had curved necks or straight necks but I didn't see any with that kind of angle in the middle of the neck. 

Unless the head is higher up and that thing that seems to go down to the ground is something hanging from its mouth. 

I think there is a baby giraffe resting on the ground with its head reaching up to meet the lowered head of the adult giraffe.

[ladyamylynn]

Shamelessly ripped of from Reddit: Jesus looks like he's ready to fire somebody. 

[AmazonGrace]

39 minutes ago, ladyamylynn said:

Shamelessly ripped of from Reddit: Jesus looks like he's ready to fire somebody. 

 

Thus saith the Lord,  Let my people go, that they may hold a feast to me in the wilderness.

[FloraKitty35]

I was describing some of these "masterpieces" to my Mother.  When I offered to purchase one for her, I was given the offer of being disinherited.  (The clown one brought back memories for Mother.  She had a clown (he was from the Chestertown Baptist Church, when they were going door to door to grow the congregation) come up to the house and he was carrying a pillow case. He asked her if she wanted to reach into his sack.  She declined and he was asked to leave.)

[VelociRapture]

9 hours ago, smittykins said:

@VelociRapture, is the VelociBaby here yet?

She was due this coming Saturday (the 14th), but decided she liked December 5th better. We just celebrated her first month "birthday." 

[IreneIssh]

Found a couple more hilarious book covers: 

 

Whoever Lorraine Peterson is, she has a bunch of hilarious book titles. Some others: 

[snarkykitty]

On 1/7/2017 at 0:28 AM, Coy Koi said:

Man, this guy really has all bases covered. Smoking cigarettes, snorting cocaine, drinking liquor, injecting something, a HUMAN SKULL just hanging around...  I don't know what that thing on the doorknob is but I assume it's further evidence of his depravity.

I started some new medication and I can't stop laughing at this thread and my husband has had to come close it because I laughed so hard I aspirated water...but I found it....heheheheheheeeee

[snarkykitty]

6 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

This guy looks like the dude from Shark Tank...  .robertherjavec.com/about/

[GreyhoundFan]

2 hours ago, laPapessaGiovanna said:

Italian religious art is known for its love for overly dramatic, theatrical and morbid themes like the "Cristo morto" (dead Christ). There are some masterpieces like Michelangelo's and Mantegna's

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and then there are some fugly things, really ugly, you're warned (and because I am kind like that I'm sparing you a couple of the worst ones)

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You NEEDED to know that the last one is on sale for 698€.

Is that how much the artist will pay someone to take it off his hands?

[Naga Viper]

3 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

That earlier image trained me well -- now I'm looking for genitals hiding behind all of those tigers.

Please see my updated location.

 

1 hour ago, IreneIssh said:

Found a couple more hilarious book covers: 

Is that a pre-Plexus Jill Rodrigues on the left?

[MarblesMom]

Not quite Cheesus, but just as cheesy:

 

[ADoyle90815]

3 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

Shamelessly ripped of from Reddit: Jesus looks like he's ready to fire somebody. 

He also looks like he could be saying, "Why don't you have a seat over there."

[IreneIssh]

26 minutes ago, Naga Viper said:

Please see my updated location.

 

Is that a pre-Plexus Jill Rodrigues on the left?

It must be her fundie-lite doppelganger. This one is wearing sinful pants!! 

[FloraKitty35]

2 hours ago, IreneIssh said:

Found a couple more hilarious book covers: 

 

Whoever Lorraine Peterson is, she has a bunch of hilarious book titles. Some others: 

Why would God speak to cats?  Cats are their own God, although I believe they prefer tac, because god spelled backwards is dog.

[older than allosaurs]

9 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

 

Why is Jesus wearing Johnny Depp eyeliner?

[IreneIssh]

27 minutes ago, older than allosaurs said:

Why is Jesus wearing Johnny Depp eyeliner?

That is spot on. Can someone please photoshop a fedora hat and ~5 scarves on that Jesus?

[LadyCrow1313]

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 10:42 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

He looks like one of the Gibbs brothers. Andy? Barry?

Plus he'd be a good competitor in professional wrestling. Look out, WWE & Vince McMahon: the Big J will be a surprise competitor in the upcoming Royal Rumble.  

Trying to keep the laughter down to a dull roar... I love this thread! 

[LadyCrow1313]

19 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

Wow! I didn't know that Bruce Campbell posed for one of these.

[Terrie]

14 hours ago, ladyamylynn said:

Shamelessly ripped of from Reddit: Jesus looks like he's ready to fire somebody. 

That earnest concerned, but professional, expression. Jesus, HR Rep. 

11 hours ago, FloraKitty35 said:

Why would God speak to cats?  Cats are their own God, although I believe they prefer tac, because god spelled backwards is dog.

It's actually "speak through cats." But since cats are already gods onto themselves, seems redundant.

[FormerlyFundyLite]

OK, not actually "Christian art", but...Jesus. Obi-Wan Jesus.

 

[Cleopatra7]

The problem with all of these images is not the theology behind them, but the fact that they enthrone kitsch as high art. There's nothing wrong with kitsch per se, as long as you know it's kitsch, but the type of fundies we tend to snark on have the mindset that "Christian art" is the only type of artistic expression that should exist, and that the theological content should override any artistic content. Part of the problem is the obsession fundies have with art being "wholesome," and that it should appeal to everyone from 8 to 80. This means that meatier existential issues can't be discussed, because they aren't "wholesome." Think of it like this: you don't have to be Catholic or even religious to appreciate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, but Catholics are the only ones who will want to buy the kitschy sculptures @laPapessaGiovanna linked to. Good art can transcend religious and ideological categories, while kitsch is weirdly specific. Even many mainstream conservative Christians realize that 99.9 percent of self-proclaimed Christian art is devoid of artistic merit, but they've bought into the "wholesome trap" and can't envision any alternatives that would give secular Hollywood a run for its money. I will say that I appreciate that the Jehovah's Witness pictures at least show heaven as being racially integrated, since many of the other pictures seem to imply that heaven is a whites-only affair.

[Terrie]

Plus, the whole "white Jesus" thing is pretty dang racist. If there is a historical Jesus, he certainyl wasn't white. And the continuation of that nonsense is not benign. Dylan Roof's jail journal was apparently full of "white Jesus" sketches.

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

21 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

I guess it's in the eye of the beholder but to me this guy looks more annoyed that Jesus is crowding his personal space than relieved that Jesus is advising him how to drive. 

Jesus Carjacking or Why You Shouldn't Pick Up Toga Wearing Hairy Hitchhikers. 

[elliha]

Not hilarious but this altar picture: https://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jukkasjärvi_kyrka (second picture of the  pictures in the gallery in this article) has been criticized by some for making Jesus look too Jewish.