27-year-old SAHD grounded

[fundiefan]

That is just too weird and I can't wrap my brain around it. Of course, when I was 27 I had been out of my mom's house for a decade and was living in sin with my future ex-husband. Not even using my own experience for a basis of comparison, I still don't get it. I just...can't.

I wonder is Sarah Maxwell gets grounded?

[Angri-la]

Wow....I think many of us cannot relate, because at 27, most people have had a job, some sort of education, be it at an institute for higher learning or at the school of hard knocks. The Patriarchy is creating child-women, and there is no one to marry them. It seems that most fundie mens want 18-24 year olds. Perhaps a nice widower will adopt/ (I don't know how to cross out words) marry her, and he can do the grounding if she burns a casserole.

I wonder if Eliz and AS get grounded by Daddy Robotkin. Or if he still uses plumbing line on them...no, he wouldn't want to "bruise the fruit". So gross.

[Koala]

This is a disgusting lifestyle.

[Guest Anonymous]

Wow....I think many of us cannot relate, because at 27, most people have had a job, some sort of education, be it at an institute for higher learning or at the school of hard knocks. The Patriarchy is creating child-women, and there is no one to marry them. It seems that most fundie mens want 18-24 year olds. Perhaps a nice widower will adopt/ (I don't know how to cross out words) marry her, and he can do the grounding if she burns a casserole.

I wonder if Eliz and AS get grounded by Daddy Robotkin. Or if he still uses plumbing line on them...no, he wouldn't want to "bruise the fruit". So gross.

More like spoil the pelts

[GenerationCedarchip]

Speaking of Eliz and AS, I've noticed that the brothers all have Facebook pages, but they do not. I found that very interesting. It made me wonder what kind of internet rules they have to follow. I'd love to be a fly on the wall inside THAT compound.

[Rosa]

Momoko, I've got so much sympathy - I had to move back in with my mom for a year in my early '20s and we fought like cats and dogs over independence stuff. I'd lived on 3 continents, she wanted me to have an 11 pm curfew? No way.

It was really good for me, though - I think those fights were the only way we were every going to get to deal with each other as adults.

I think half the problem with these SAHDs isn't even ideology, it's that the families value the appearance of peace and agreement so much, they never work out compromises or have to change anything because it's obviously not working - it's my way or the highway, and the kids seem to choose about equally between really obeying, lying like crazy to appear to obey, or flat out leaving.

[ChunkyBarbie]

Speaking of Eliz and AS, I've noticed that the brothers all have Facebook pages, but they do not. I found that very interesting. It made me wonder what kind of internet rules they have to follow. I'd love to be a fly on the wall inside THAT compound.

The FemBots do have a FB page. I saw it about a week ago. I linked to it from on here somewhere. (When I searched for their names nothing came up. So they may have blocked themselves from coming up in a FB search. My girlfriend did.) Any who...Hardly anything was on it and they share the page. Just like fundie married couples.

[Hane]

The FemBots do have a FB page. I saw it about a week ago. I linked to it from on here somewhere. (When I searched for their names nothing came up. So they may have blocked themselves from coming up in a FB search. My girlfriend did.) Any who...Hardly anything was on it and they share the page. Just like fundie married couples.

We're pretty sure it isn't really their page, but one put up by a "fan." One of their brothers posted a terse note on its wall, asking the page's creator to contact him.

[ChunkyBarbie]

That is sad.

[Guest Anonymous]

My very much NOT fundie mother tried to "ground" me at 21 (I had JUST moved back home after college due to a complete lack of jobs that paid enough for me to you know, LIVE ON MY OWN). I just looked at her and laughed hysterically, grabbed my car keys off of the counter and left.

[Freyacat]

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Good lord. This woman needs to get a job and move out. At 27, she's unable to govern herself, but should she meet someone, she's fully expected to get married, have babies, and raise them. How can she be a parent and take care of someone else, when she's incapable of taking care of herself? No wonder fundies turn out to be bad parents.

ITA. I have always wondered about this. Fundies try to keep their daughters acting like little girls, no matter their age, right up until they are married off... and then they are instantly supposed to start popping out a whole brood of babies. How does that work? How can someone act like a 7 or 8 year old into her late teens or even 20s, and then instantly switch into being a responsible adult, capable of parenting, homeschooling, and managing a household? Personally, I moved away to go to college at 18 and spent a while learning to be an adult before I really got the hang of it. And even before moving away I was gradually being given more freedom as my parents felt I could handle it. It's a process, it's not like flipping a switch.

[turquoise]

I can relate to this woman's situation more than I wish. My family wasn't fundie, but was very old fashioned. My mother lived with her parents until she married. She and my grandmother were both very worried when my unmarried aunt decided to live alone. They were also not comfortable with me and my sister moving out after college, athough they actually didn't try to stop us.

They wouldn't have punished me in college, (they weren't generally punitive or harsh anyway.) However, they were always very overprotective and still made a big fuss when I wanted to go anywhere on my own or do anything outside of their routines when I was home on college break. I felt like I wasn't capable of doing normal day-to-day stuff outside my family. I knew other people my age might drive, or go places on their own whenever they wanted, or make their own decisions, but these things made me nervous. It took me a long time to get over that.

I can totally understand why this 27 year-old SAHD doesn't feel like she can do anything to change her situation. It will be very hard for her to leave without some support from outside her family.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I read an article not long ago that said over 80 percent of college graduates these days are moving back home with their parents because there are no jobs. But I'm sure those parents don't ground their adult children.

[doggie]

What they don't understand is the bible was written when girls were married very young. not when they were out of their teens. so following the bible like it was never meant for todays world is a bit stupid.

[Marian the Librarian]

Speaking of Eliz and AS, I've noticed that the brothers all have Facebook pages, but they do not. I found that very interesting. It made me wonder what kind of internet rules they have to follow. I'd love to be a fly on the wall inside THAT compound.

I've wondered the same thing. The only Internet presence AS & E seem to have is their front for Dad. NO independent thought, or opportunity to communicate with the outside world, there.

"SAHD" - rhymes with "sad."

[emmyfair]

The botkinettes remind me of birds sitting in a cage with the door open. I wonder if they even know they can leave, or if they're so scared of the outside world and what they think they know about it, they'll stay forever. sahd.

[lilwriter85]

I read an article not long ago that said over 80 percent of college graduates these days are moving back home with their parents because there are no jobs. But I'm sure those parents don't ground their adult children.

I agree I think most people wouldn't ground their adult children who live at home.

[Guest Anonymous]

The botkinettes remind me of birds sitting in a cage with the door open. I wonder if they even know they can leave, or if they're so scared of the outside world and what they think they know about it, they'll stay forever. sahd.

In their case the door is open all right but Daddy is parked on the other side of it.

[Mellon]

I don't even know how these people can put up with it! I'm 21 and I just moved in for the summer after graduating. My dad LOOOOVES to try to tell me when and what to eat, when to go to bed, when to wake up, etc...I don't like it.

Hello? I cook or make most of my own meals, I'm working two jobs, doing my own chores, and I'm working out EVERY day. We don't even eat at the same time most meals. I think I can handle it when I have to make some decisions on my own.

I don't feel it necessary to be "grounded" when we disagree on things. I'm an adult, I act like one. Kindly treat me like one.

I feel so bad for these girls sometimes, because my instinctive reaction to someone telling me what to do or "punishing" me for things like not doing what HE thinks is right when he wants, is to go "Excuuuuuuseeee me?" And if those instincts have been beaten out of them...well, that's even worse.

[emeraldskull]

The botkinettes remind me of birds sitting in a cage with the door open. I wonder if they even know they can leave, or if they're so scared of the outside world and what they think they know about it, they'll stay forever. sahd.

Well, I think they may realize the door is open, but it's like they are chained emotionally. If they leave, their whole world, their whole life up until that point, will be taken from them. Their family, their friends, their dreams...

I am not saying they aren't responsible for themselves, they certainly are, since they are both grown adult women... but if they ever did leave (or considered it), it would be the ruination of them among everyone they have ever grown up with and known. Everyone they ever befriended and counseled. Everyone and everything would be taken from them ruthlessly by the very people who should love them unconditionally...

It is sad. I despise parents who raise their children (and chain their adult children) this way. :angry-fire:

[alphaeta08]

Oh my God, Mellon, are you my alter-ego?! :shock: I'm also 21, just graduated, two jobs, parents bitch at me about sleeping, eating, working out habits. I get that I'm living in this house and I need to respect the other people living here by not waking them up or inconveniencing them, but otherwise, I don't get how it's any of their business! Honestly, I've got "college body" right now, so I need to lose a few pounds, nothing major, but they make me feel like they'd tolerate other "unacceptable" behavior if I was skinny again, which is probably true.

I always tell them that as long as I'm showing up for stuff on time (I spend 90% of my time at work anyway!), not doing anything dangerous, and doing housework when asked/when I see something needs to be done, I'd like to be left alone. Experienced parents: is that unreasonable, keeping in mind that I'm moving out permanently to start grad school in the fall?

[apple1]

I always tell them that as long as I'm showing up for stuff on time (I spend 90% of my time at work anyway!), not doing anything dangerous, and doing housework when asked/when I see something needs to be done, I'd like to be left alone. Experienced parents: is that unreasonable, keeping in mind that I'm moving out permanently to start grad school in the fall?

I fall into the "experienced parent" category. I have one adult married/parent of her own child who lives in her own house with her family. I have another adult daughter (28) in college and working who of financial necessity returned home to live for a while and is here now.

I expect the things you said above, a (very small) token "rent", and one more thing: If she is going to be gone, as in don't come home at all tonight, let us know that (we don't ask where she will be), just so that we don't fear that she has had an accident and is lying in a ditch somewhere or on a slab in the morgue. Just common courtesy, not nosing into her business.

[VodouDoll]

I wonder is Sarah Maxwell gets grounded?

I doubt it would ever occur to her to do something she could get grounded for. She's well and truly indoctrinated into the family cult, that one. It's a shame.

[luckylibrarian]

Sadly, I get it. I'm 30, and even though I've lived on my own since I was 18, my parents still have problems treating me like an adult. A few years ago, my husband took a brief job overseas, and so my son and I moved back in with my parents. It was hellish. They tried to tell me what to do and would go through my desk and open my mail. Every time I said or did somethnig they didn't like, they'd scream at me. At the same time, they didn't want me to move out, even after my husband came home. My father thinks I'm am totally incapable of driving long distances because I'm a woman. They're not fundie, just extremely controlling and sexist. My 43 yr old sister gets similar treatment, even though she is divorced with two adult children. She didn't tell my parents when she drove to Washington, DC for vacation because my dad would have insisted on driving her down there.

[treemom]

My friend lives at home because she is the divorced mom of three with no education or income. She's in her 30's. A few months ago her dad cut her texting off because she was using it too much (and the bill was too much). Maybe he was justified, since he's paying the bills, but I can't imagine a 34 year old woman being punished by daddy like that. And they are not fundies or particularly religious at all.

I think when someone else is paying the bills they have the right to say, stop paying for texting because the bill was too much.

She always has the option of getting an income. It isn't like it is impossible to get a job. And I am pretty liberal.

Personally if I had my 34 year old daughter living at home with no education, no income and 3 kids I wouldn't be paying her cell phone bill. Food, clothing and shelter and needs. Cell phones aren't.