Another man saying you can't rape your wife

[Firiel]

I think I may have found a new Cabinetman:

biblicalgenderroles.com/2015/05/16/is-a-husband-selfish-for-having-sex-with-his-wife-when-she-is-not-the-mood/

This guy is divorced which adds a delicious layer of irony to the whole "follow the Bible exactly" shit he's spouting.

[Burris]

If you offer sex to a person and she says no, then you force her to have sex with you against her will - and this of course applies to same-sex persons as well - that is rape. (And if she agrees to sleep with you even though you know she is not in the mood, that isn't rape - it's just you being a completely selfish asshole whom she should consider divorcing.)

It's rape if the two are strangers. It's rape if they met at a party. It's rape if they're married. What the fuck is so hard to understand about this?

If the object of your desire doesn't want to sleep with you, take a cold shower, or find the nearest sock; don't fucking rape her! She's not your property. She's not your toy.

And just because you and she are married does not mean the contract forever after removes her ability to withdraw her consent for sex.

Look, you fucking idiots who don't seem to understand what rape is...if someone - let us say this is a gay man is attempting to 'pick up' a straight man (i.e., you) - asks you for sex and you say no and he rapes you...would you not consider that a violation - or do the rules somehow differ for men such that rape is only shameful when it happens to a male?

ETA: A note to those who minimize rape - fuck you. Also, go fuck yourselves. Eat the vomit you spew. You suck as people. And finally, go fuck yourselves.

[Lisa]

It is remarkable how the bible just happens to line up with his personal fetishes, i.e. polygyny, mixed nude bathing, child marriage, kneeling women. Funny that.

He is a lot like Cabinet Man (worst superhero EVER) in that he starts off with a disclaimer and completely contradicts it.

I'M NOT SAYING WOMEN ARE INFERIOR... just that god is masculine, women are made for men, and men should always be obeyed and respected.

I'M NOT SAYING MEN SHOULD RAPE THEIR WIVES... just that they should definitely have sex even when she doesn't want to because he owns her body.

I'M NOT ADVOCATING POLYGYNY... but here are six posts explaining why polygyny is biblical and logical while a women with two husbands is an abomination.

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

[happy atheist]

Sex is not based in feelings, it is based in duty.

I bet this guy is fantastic in the sack. :shifty-kitty:

[Rachel333]

His whole thing is restricting what women are allowed to do and telling men what they can do. It's okay to look at other women, to have sex whenever you want it, to feel aroused by your gynecological patients, etc., because that's just the way God made men. At least from what I saw, though, there's no equivalent for women. "The way God made you" frees men but restricts women.

[jerkit]

Oh good, another dude who refuses to admit that women can and do desire sex.

[Lisa]

His whole thing is restricting what women are allowed to do and telling men what they can do. It's okay to look at other women, to have sex whenever you want it, to feel aroused by your gynecological patients, etc., because that's just the way God made men. At least from what I saw, though, there's no equivalent for women. "The way God made you" frees men but restricts women.

Hey, it's not his fault that God likes men best. If the ladeez would just accept their roles, stay in the house and "bare" children (he misspells it half the time) they'd be ashappy and fulfilled as women are allowed to be.

[Rachel333]

His son is allowed to have Kate Upton bikini poster on his wall so he can appreciate her "sexual beauty" (the son's mom, the writer's ex-wife, doesn't like it but it's not her home and she's just jealous of other women's bodies). I wonder if his daughter is allowed to have posters of scantily clad men on her wall?

[GeoBQn]

This video sums up any questions anybody can have about consent.[bBvideo 560,340:bocnz7fp]

[/bBvideo]

[Lisa]

biblicalgenderroles.com/2014/04/12/how-god-made-man-superior-to-woman/

Men are just superior, don't you know. Among their superior abilities are the drive to be aggressive and competitive. Using his style of logic, I could make a good case that men are actually dangerous and destructive. Aborting 90% of male fetuses just makes sense when you consider how men are oversized, strong, aggressive, and competitive. Look how over-represented they are in the field of war mongering and serial killing!

biblicalgenderroles.com/2014/04/12/how-god-made-woman-superior-to-man/

But wait! If men are entitled to all the civil rights, money, leadership roles and respect because of their superior qualities, what do the "superior" qualities of women entitle them to? Shockingly, the answer is a shitty, secondary place in society and no rights at all.

Luckily, we weak, stupid women have one quality that justifies our presence on earth. In a word: TITS!

biblicalgenderroles.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/howgodmadewoman.jpg

[jerkit]

This makes me wonder if and what CM is blogging these days. Before he went private it was obvious he was just being "outrageous" to bait us. I wonder what it's like now.

[polecat]

Oh good, another dude who refuses to admit that women can and do desire sex.

Yeah, I got the feeling that this guy is offended that his wife expects some pleasure out of it: "Just shaddup and do your duty, woman!"

WHAT kind of man wants to have sex with a person who isn't enjoying it? The very idea of having sex with someone who isn't into it is enough to kill off any sex drive I have.

[Deist woman]

Oh, and if a woman tries to get out of sex because of some long term illness or pain, she just needs to suck it up and put out. Selfish bitch, right?

You may need to seek out a good Christian counselor so they can explain to her that Chronic pain does not give you a license to shut off sex in your marriage. There are millions of people around the world that find ways to manage and cope with chronic pain and not shut down the sexuality in their marriages.

[love2scrap]

biblicalgenderroles.com/2014/06/22/the-10-actions-of-the-sexually-intelligent-wife-2/

Here are a list of actions (and attitudes) a wife should have toward her husband’s sexuality (OK it turned out to be 20 and not 10 because of formatting issues):

Don’t make your husband feel shallow because of his sexual nature. As a wife you need to erase this type of thinking from your mind. His sexuality is a gift from God, and you should treat it as such.

Recognize your husband’s need to be visually aroused. Men are visual creatures, it is how God designed us. This does not mean you have to dress like a whore or a prostitute. But you can dress in a more sexy way that extenuates the body that God gave you that was part of what drew your husband to you in the first place. Here are some practical ways you can meet this need of your husband to be visually aroused:

Wear shirts that show some cleavage. This does not mean you have your breasts hanging completely out. It just means not wearing shirts all the time that go all the way up to your neckline.

Baggy clothes are a big no-no. You don’t have to wear skin tight jeans and daisy duke shorts, but you should wear clothes that show your figure and your beauty. Obviously there is also age appropriate clothing. I am not saying a 40 year old woman needs to dress like a 20 year old woman, but a 40 year old woman can still dress in a sexy, yet age appropriate way for her husband.

Show some leg. Women may disagree on where the line is, but most men like to see some leg on their wife. Wear dresses and shorts that show your legs.

If the barn needs painting, then paint it. This is an old expression a pastor of my church from many years ago used to say. Not all women need makeup, but some do. If makeup enhances your beauty, then use it.

Listen to your husband’s opinion about your appearance. Especially when it comes to how you keep your hair and how you dress. Maybe he like’s your hair shorter, maybe he likes it longer, or maybe he likes it a different color. Maybe he likes a certain dress on you, or certain shirts. Unless what he is asking you to do something with your appearance that feels blatantly immoral, then you should do it. Learn to break out of your comfort zone.

Use what your God gave you! Once you are wearing more attractive clothing for your husband, come over by him sometimes and give him a good angle on that cleavage. If you look good in those jeans, bend over nice and slow to pick up that pen you dropped in front him. Tease him with your beauty.

Lingerie. One of the nicest ways to please your husband is with lingerie and it is a great surprise to him when he comes into the room thinking you are just going to sleep and he sees you there in some sexy lingerie, this is a huge thing to most men.

Nudity is good too! Make sure to let your husband see you getting undressed for bed or changing to go someplace for dinner. Invite your husband to take a shower with you from time to time. I remember years back reading a book on romance from Dennis and Barbara Rainy (don’t remember the title). In it they mention the story of a young Pastor’s wife who asked her husband what she could do to help him be a more a spiritual man. He said “surprise me some time by meeting me at the door naked when I come homeâ€. What he was saying is –if you meet my sexual needs to be visually aroused by your body, I will be less likely to be tempted by other women and it will help make me a more spiritual man. Women need to understand this vital truth!

Don’t get mad at your husband when he looks at other women. As long as your husband is not gawking or acting perverted about it, when your husband sees a nice woman walking by don’t shame him. God has made men as creatures of variety, and by “variety†I mean that men are naturally wired to appreciate a variety of different women. Realize that just because he looks at other women this does not mean he does not think you are beautiful too, it is just his wiring. If you really want to be courageous and show your security with your husband’s visual wiring, ask him from time to time if he thinks a certain woman is pretty, or who his favorite actresses are. I wrote a whole series on this important topic – click here to read it.

Moans and Groans. Yep as husbands we like to hear that we are pleasing our wives. Obviously anything can be overdone, but most women don’t error on the side of overdoing this.

Initiate sex. I completely recognize the fact that most women like to be pursued when it comes to sex and this normal. I agree that 80 percent of the time men need to be doing the initiating and the pursing (this actually is part of the process that turns women on). But if you as a wife rarely initiate sex, you need to change that.

Rain checks. A rain check when it comes to sex is when you as a wife have to gently turn your husband down when he tries to initiate foreplay. Perhaps you are sick to your stomach, or maybe your period is extra heavy at that particular time. While he needs to show patience and understanding during these times, you also need to make good on your sexual “rain checkâ€. That means it now becomes your responsibility to initiate the next sexual encounter with your husband, to let him know you are re-opened for “businessâ€.

Oral sex. Yep I said it. It’s the truth. Learn it, do it. There are few sexual acts that make a man feel more loved by his wife, or evoke more passion in a man toward his wife than when she performs oral sex on him.

Groping is usually OK for most men. This is one where a few rare men would disagree. But unlike most women, most guys do not mind at all having being groped by their wives. This can be a great type of foreplay when a couple is out on a romantic date, or when they are driving home from some place, letting him know what is soon to follow.

Legs spread. A lot of women think this kind of thing is un-lady like. In marriage nothing could be further from the truth. There are few things sexier to a man than when his wife pulls up her skirt to reveal no underwear and invites her husband into his favorite garden to enjoy his choice fruits (there is a reference to this in the Song of Solomon).

Variety of positions and places. Try to make sure you have variety in your sexual positions, don’t get dogged down in one position, many couples get stuck on the missionary style. Try having sex in different rooms of your house.

Recognize when sex is not happening. If your husband has not initiated sex in some time, or you seem to have to be initiating all the time, talk to him about it. Ask him if there any problems. Sometimes men take work stress or other stresses home with them when they should not. Gently and respectfully talk to him.

Fake it till you make it! This old saying (not original to me) applies to many areas of life and it certainly applies to being a sexually intelligent wife. Realize that sometimes your feelings will match your sexual actions towards your husband, and sometimes they will not. But what many women come to realize is, once they break out of their sexual comfort zone and start doing these things with their husbands, they soon come to like it! They love the passion it creates in their husband toward them outside of the bedroom and clearly see the rewards of adding these actions and attitudes to their marriage.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

[Grimalkin]

OMFG! He speaks like he has tons of expierience with this. Most women come to like it! Whom are all these women you council about it? Do you run a class or something out of your basement?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Any chance that this is actually the old Cabinetman? How many of these types of guys are out there? [The answer could be "many", but that's just depressing.]

How come these guys never advise a husband facing a wife who says no to:

1. Accept that this isn't about "excuses" - if she says she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it.

2. Have a real conversation and find out why she doesn't want it

3. Attempt to get a "yes" by actually wooing the wife - you know, seducing her and making her feel good.

4. Figure out how they are lacking in the sack.

Fun fact: women who find sex pleasurable and usually have orgasms are less likely to want to avoid sex.

[Rachel333]

He talks about pleasing your wife sexually through foreplay and oral sex. Not for her sake, though, but to make her more lubricated for her husband when she doesn't want to have sex but she has to have it anyway.

[Deist woman]

He talks about pleasing your wife sexually through foreplay and oral sex. Not for her sake, though, but to make her more lubricated for her husband when she doesn't want to have sex but she has to have it anyway.

Or just use some kind of lubricant, he says. You know, if she is unwilling and dry, and you really don't want to put all that work in.

[Toothfairy]

:angry-banghead: What a douche bag. I'm very happy that I have a husband who actually respects his wife and her feelings. A husband who wouldn't make excuses for bullshit behavior like this idiot.

[16strong]

That's great and all dude, but try explaining that to the courts. I'm sure they'll understand. :roll:

[Firiel]

Any chance that this is actually the old Cabinetman? How many of these types of guys are out there? [The answer could be "many", but that's just depressing.]

How come these guys never advise a husband facing a wife who says no to:

1. Accept that this isn't about "excuses" - if she says she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it.

2. Have a real conversation and find out why she doesn't want it

3. Attempt to get a "yes" by actually wooing the wife - you know, seducing her and making her feel good.

4. Figure out how they are lacking in the sack.

Fun fact: women who find sex pleasurable and usually have orgasms are less likely to want to avoid sex.

I actually wondered that when I first saw this posted elsewhere. Unfortunately, if the "About Me" is true, this is not Cabinetman. This guy admits to being on his second marriage, and I can't imagine Cabinetman including what would be, if true, a discrediting* fact just to throw people off his scent.

*Discrediting in the culture of True Christian^TM complementarians

[Walking Cat Bed]

Damn, and my combat boots are at home.

[Four is Enough]

So basically:

Women should act sexy for their men.

Men should lube her up and stick it in her.

The end.

Guy's got a lot to learn.

[happy atheist]

But you can dress in a more sexy way that extenuates the body that God gave you that was part of what drew your husband to you in the first place.

Presumably he means "accentuates," but what do I know? I'm just a girl.

[keen23]

Presumably he means "accentuates," but what do I know? I'm just a girl.

He is a misogynistic dickhead, so he could mean extenuate. Because obviously all females should feel guilty for being born female and therefore "less than" a man.