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Derick Dillard


SassyPants

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After this past season of hearing JB talk about losing Jill and turning her over to the authority of another man, plus remembering MD's words of "leave and cleave" with regards to Josh, my mind turns to Derick.

 

So, after their vows on 6/21, Derick became Jill's headship and leader. Due to having that authority and role, Derick gets to make all of the final decisions regarding their unit and family. This is all based on JB's words.

 

So does Derick get to negotiate the Dillards TLC contract?

Does Derick get the final say regarding what will be filmed and shown vs not?

Does Derick get the paycheck?

 

And if NOT, is JB's hyperbole just a sham?

 

Further, since courting limits contact and how well two people actually know one another prior to marriage, how quickly and likely is Derick to be disillusioned with what has happened with and to his life? Derick seems like an adventurous, carefree, independent, albeit Godly man who might like to blow out of AR for more exotic pastures. According to JB, he should have the authority to do just that...realistically though will that likely happen?

 

I can see him becoming an unhappy camper.

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I think he is a fool to marry someone like Jill that he hardly knew.....she will break him.

This season,what I have learned about Jill is that she is very CONTROLLING. No wonder the parents love her.

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This season,what I have learned about Jill is that she is very CONTROLLING. No wonder the parents love her.

And clingy - the wedding episode proved this. She will smother him.

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Derek strikes me as the type who would like some smothering though. I can't imagine Jill was as cool as a cucumber through their online interactions and pre-engagement. I think he knew what he was getting himself in to. Maybe not the full scope of it... but if we can pick up on her clinging just on the show, it's got to be even more so in real life.

Given that his mother is so ill and probably not gonna make it (although I hope I'm wrong), Derek probably is really glad he has someone to cater to his every whim.

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Derek strikes me as the type who would like some smothering though. I can't imagine Jill was as cool as a cucumber through their online interactions and pre-engagement. I think he knew what he was getting himself in to. Maybe not the full scope of it... but if we can pick up on her clinging just on the show, it's got to be even more so in real life.

Given that his mother is so ill and probably not gonna make it (although I hope I'm wrong), Derek probably is really glad he has someone to cater to his every whim.

CB did look quite ill, although it's been 4 months and hopefully she is doing better.

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I don't know. I think that Derick could become unhappy if he feels stifled or held back. . . but I don't think he was unaware of what he was getting himself into. He was prayer partners with Boob for a while and must have heard about the show. It's possible he had even watched some episodes before he started courting Jill.

Honestly, I don't know what happens with the contract or money now. The only people who would know with complete certainty are the Duggars and TLC executives - I doubt any of them will be sharing that information.

As for his missionary work, I think its possible he will want to do more of that in the future. I also think that Jill may not be entirely opposed to that idea - she seems like she enjoys traveling and its been stated that the two of them have similar goals. Would Boob throw a hissy fit? Maybe, but I don't think he would - after all, the entire point of this movement of Christianity is to spread the "true" word of God to other people in order to make more Christians (and, of course, to make lots of babies). Missionary work is an excellent way to do so.

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I don't know. I think that Derick could become unhappy if he feels stifled or held back. . . but I don't think he was unaware of what he was getting himself into. He was prayer partners with Boob for a while and must have heard about the show. It's possible he had even watched some episodes before he started courting Jill.

Honestly, I don't know what happens with the contract or money now. The only people who would know with complete certainty are the Duggars and TLC executives - I doubt any of them will be sharing that information.

As for his missionary work, I think its possible he will want to do more of that in the future. I also think that Jill may not be entirely opposed to that idea - she seems like she enjoys traveling and its been stated that the two of them have similar goals. Would Boob throw a hissy fit? Maybe, but I don't think he would - after all, the entire point of this movement of Christianity is to spread the "true" word of God to other people in order to make more Christians (and, of course, to make lots of babies). Missionary work is an excellent way to do so.

Good point about the spreading of the true word of God, although JB does have control issues.

Hard to know what his response might be.

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Although I had great hopes for the emancipation of Jill through Derrick, I have been taking a good look at him and his actions this season and feel that he might just take steps to "deepen his faith" (i.e. Gothard baloney). I hope beyond hope that even if he dabbles some that he will be able to discern faithful vs cult-ish behavior fairly quickly and without much harm to his future children. It is very possible that his mothers possible terminal illness could leave a void that could be easily filled with doctrine.

My predication: Derrick will keep drinking the kool-aid until it starts to interfere with his kids happiness and emotional health. Blanket training is a good example. I can't imagine that a gentle person like Derrick would for one minute stand by and watch his baby get whacked with a ruler. But we will see!

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The only "issue" with the mission work is that the Dilly-Bars and future minis will make it harder to manage. Even the most patient and sweet Jill would have a difficult time adjusting to having toddlers and small children in a remote location like Nepal. Mission work always seems to be in the middle of nowhere.

Plus Michelle would throw a fit not having the babies nearby.

Re: Derek and blanket training - I agree... I also have a hard time seeing Jill buy in to that, even if she was raised around it. She legit seems to love little children and would have a hard time physically disciplining them like that.

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J/D seem so genuinely compatible and happy- I hope that he comes to his senses before they have a dozen little ones and are totally overwhelmed.

Most couples cannot happily and successfully manage a gaggle... IMO, that's when the unhappiness and dysfunction really ensues.

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The only "issue" with the mission work is that the Dilly-Bars and future minis will make it harder to manage. Even the most patient and sweet Jill would have a difficult time adjusting to having toddlers and small children in a remote location like Nepal. Mission work always seems to be in the middle of nowhere.

Yes- it is this fact that makes me think either:

1. Jill's love of mission work was just during her single years

2. Jill & Derick will realize that billions of babies are not conducive to life in Africa/Nepal/Etc. and start practicing NFP or something.

I say this because I have a daughter who, as Michelle or Jill would say, "has a heart for missions." In fact, the way Jill talks about mission work is nearly the same as the way my daughter does. The only difference is my kid is fine with her mission work being sans religion. lol

Anyway, with that being said- if Jill wants to work overseas as much as my kid does, I can't imagine how she truly wants to be quiverful. My daughter is very upfront about the fact that she would choose pursuing her passion over having kids. She knows she might have to delay having kids so she can have the life she wants, and she is okay with that. It makes me wonder where Jill's head is at (and where Dericks is at, as well.)

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And clingy - the wedding episode proved this. She will smother him.

Jill's voice... all the time. Couldn't handle that. She also gets crazy eyes.

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Derick isn't very open with his emotions. I wonder if Jill will get discouraged with that. She seems to prod him a lot, to be more openly excited about things than he's comfortable with. Hopefully for both their sake they'll settle into a happy compromise.

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Derek strikes me as the type who would like some smothering though. I can't imagine Jill was as cool as a cucumber through their online interactions and pre-engagement. I think he knew what he was getting himself in to. Maybe not the full scope of it... but if we can pick up on her clinging just on the show, it's got to be even more so in real life.

Given that his mother is so ill and probably not gonna make it (although I hope I'm wrong), Derek probably is really glad he has someone, to cater to his her every whim.

Fixed that. :lol:

The groomsmen were joking with Derick before the wedding about how Jill sent him a text reminding him about the wedding on the morning of the wedding. Even as a joke, it shows her tendency to be super needy and kind of bossy... and so many other little things, like how she calls him to have devotions every morning. Or like her expression when Derick talked about siblings giving them hints on how to practice kissing without ACTUALLY kissing. Jill was just like, NO! We would never do that, of course not. :roll:

Yep it's going to be her way or the highway. He'll cater to her every whim. But she'll frame it as "This is the godly way, get with the program". Maybe he'll like it? He seems really laid back. I imagine it would take a LOT to get him pissed off. And he might be one of those guys who just likes to be bossed around. I've heard they do exist, a rare breed. :D

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Fixed that. :lol:

The groomsmen were joking with Derick before the wedding about how Jill sent him a text reminding him about the wedding on the morning of the wedding. Even as a joke, it shows her tendency to be super needy and kind of bossy... and so many other little things, like how she calls him to have devotions every morning. Or like her expression when Derick talked about siblings giving them hints on how to practice kissing without ACTUALLY kissing. Jill was just like, NO! We would never do that, of course not. :roll:

Yep it's going to be her way or the highway. He'll cater to her every whim. But she'll frame it as "This is the godly way, get with the program". Maybe he'll like it? He seems really laid back. I imagine it would take a LOT to get him pissed off. And he might be one of those guys who just likes to be bossed around. I've heard they do exist, a rare breed. :D

I had a good friend in high school, who reminds me so much of Jill,who would do this with her boyfriend. Every night she would call them and they would pray together. I remember thinking she needed to calm down a little since it was only a high school relationship. They actually ended breaking up a year or so later because...you guessed it, he thought she was too clingy.

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I can definitely see some controlling tendencies in Jill. During the reception scenes, she was totally hogging the knife during the cake cutting -- forcing things her way when it's supposed to be fun and done together as a couple.

I don't know why something so small bothered me, but it did.

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I did get the feeling that Derek was quietly annoyed with the pre wedding Duggar boot camp but that he played along to please JB but that he confided the frustration to Jill. Ie. in the Duggars in cuffs episode - during the interview recap - Jill looks at him not the camera when she says something about how the bow and arrow exercise wasn't quite as embarrassing as having to do the obstacle course on a "child's playground" - that gave me the impression that he was super annoyed with JB's antics. Also I thought the talk about the uncomfortable handcuffs and then Jill asking "is there a such thing as comfortable handcuffs" may have referenced their inside joke about maybe wanting to try out couples handcuffs after the authority transfer ceremony.

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I did get the feeling that Derek was quietly annoyed with the pre wedding Duggar boot camp but that he played along to please JB but that he confided the frustration to Jill. Ie. in the Duggars in cuffs episode - during the interview recap - Jill looks at him not the camera when she says something about how the bow and arrow exercise wasn't quite as embarrassing as having to do the obstacle course on a "child's playground" - that gave me the impression that he was super annoyed with JB's antics. Also I thought the talk about the uncomfortable handcuffs and then Jill asking "is there a such thing as comfortable handcuffs" may have referenced their inside joke about maybe wanting to try out couples handcuffs after the authority transfer ceremony.

I'd be pissed too if I had to rush from my real job to some playground to film a stupid episode for a pointless reality show. What if he had a big project due the next day at work and JB kept calling him to "make sure he'd be there on time" for their stupid triple date? Hopefully Derick's boss understands the shitstorm he joined and won't fire him for the antics of his wife's family.

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I'd be pissed too if I had to rush from my real job to some playground to film a stupid episode for a pointless reality show. What if he had a big project due the next day at work and JB kept calling him to "make sure he'd be there on time" for their stupid triple date? Hopefully Derick's boss understands the shitstorm he joined and won't fire him for the antics of his wife's family.

Especially if he doesn't get control over any of the monies earned.

Can you imagine marrying into that arrangement, especially once you have kids? I hope Derick can put his foot down. Ben has his dad, so perhaps there's hope for he and Jesse too.

While JB acts tough, down deep I think he's insecure. I think that's part of the reason that he had 19 kids-to prove that he's a man. I also think Michelle had "experiences" before JB...she's let too much out of the bag in terms of her likes and what she did in her free time. Michelle was not sitting home dreaming of Prince Charming. She was in school, cheerleading, dancing, water skiing, skating and was an athlete, according to JB. She speaks of being a bit naughty and having lots of energy like Hannie. What have we heard about JB's life growing up?

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You can find their testimony on YouTube and on Podcasts - JB disses his dad in them ie. my dad was not into the Bible or making bank so I found some church leaders to model my life after.

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Do we know what type of missions work that Derrick was doing in Nepal? I mean was it physical labor or just passing out Christian tracts? He wasn't doing anythng but touring around with JB and Jill when they went for that visit. They never showed where he lived, if he was there with anyone else from the states, etc. Or did I miss it?

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