Pervy Dads Kick Girl out of H/S Prom MERGE

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Because they can't stop lusting after her.

aattp.org/christian-homeschool-dads-get-girl-kicked-out-of-prom-because-they-cant-stop-lusting-after-her/

We were also a little grossed out by all the dads on the balcony above the dance floor, ogling and talking amongst themselves. We weren’t dancing, but swaying with the music and talking and enjoying ourselves, when Mrs. D again approached me, and gestured me off the dance floor. She took me into a corner in the hall way, with another woman, (who I’m assuming was a parent/chaperone) and told me that some of the dads who were chaperoning had complained that my dancing was too provocative, and that I was going to cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts. At this point I said to her that I hadn’t been dancing at all! Much less seductively, and that even if I had been being inappropriate, they should issue a warning instead of just kicking me out.

Then she proceeded to reiterate that my dress was too short and I that I was going to have to leave. I again showed her and the lady with her that the dress met dress code standards, the only thing the dress code said was it had to be fingertip length, and they never had us sign any sort of agreement to abide by that rule in the first place, and second of all my dress was in compliance with the one rule. Mrs. D said again “The dress is too short†and I asked the chaperone standing next to her what the rule was and she reiterated that it had to be fingertip length, I showed her my fingers and said †Is this fingertip length?†and she said “yes, but I can’t make that call it’s on Mrs. D.â€

[polecat]

crooksandliars.com/2014/05/christian-homeschool-dads-get-girl-kicked

[Ariel]

She sounds very intelligent and well-adjusted. This is an awful thing that has happened, but it sounds like she is going to be able to take it in stride and go on to do better things.

[Lillybee]

From the pictures in the article in Crooks and Liars, it looks like her date may have been African American. I think that may have been the real reason that she got kicked out of the dance.

[RachelB]

Just once, I would like the pervy dads to put the blame where it belongs and kick themselves out of a situation where they are lusting over someone. Your own feelings? Are actually not something that someone else is doing to you.

[micatite]

Maybe they should take a hint from the Catholics and practice a little 'custody of the eyes'. Really guys. Work at it earnestly and I'm pretty sure your God will give you the strength to manage.

[GenerationCedarchip]

From the pictures in the article in Crooks and Liars, it looks like her date may have been African American. I think that may have been the real reason that she got kicked out of the dance.

This prom took place in my general neck of the woods and based on other things that have happened in homeschool circles in the area (I don't have kids old enough for school but my cousins are my window into the local HS world), I have a feeling that had at least as much to do with it as the dress.

[DGayle]

Don't these fundy idiots realize they're making these "strong" men sound like weaklings who can't handle an occasional lusty thought? The ones who should have been kicked out are the dads who were open about wanting to tap a teenager.

[Childless]

Don't these fundy idiots realize they're making these "strong" men sound like weaklings who can't handle an occasional lusty thought? The ones who should have been kicked out are the dads who were open about wanting to tap a teenager.

The more fundies talk, the less respect I have for fundie men. Really, they're rather pathetic. I'm glad I married a real man who takes responsibility for his own thoughts and doesn't lay the blame at the feet of others.

[FloraKitty35]

I am sure the weak fundie men had to have a circle jerk, I mean prayerful fellowship in the boys room, I mean men's only facility after that. :pray:

[alwayscaffeinated]

Don't these fundy idiots realize they're making these "strong" men sound like weaklings who can't handle an occasional lusty thought? The ones who should have been kicked out are the dads who were open about wanting to tap a teenager.

This. Exactly.

[Rescinded and Mended]

You know, it's never too late to outfit these so-called manly fundie men with diapers, bottles, and pacifiers. They're clearly incapable of controlling their own inappropriate thoughts and urges and are lacking in adult control. Why should the rest of us do them the courtesy of considering them adults?

[ariel9]

I saw this story online through The Young Turks. They basically said that an underage girl was held repsonsible for controlling the thoughts of middle aged men who should have been able to control theirselves. I remember when I was younger I was taught to dress a certain way because guys would think things. This story taught me how backwards of a teaching that is. They call it self control for a reason and apparently people need to get some.

[Hane]

It's always horrified me how much hatred men feel free to show toward various classes of women: women they have decided are unattractive, or women whom they covet sexually but can't "have." And here's an ugly case of nice-looking blonde woman at her prom--but, worse yet, SHE'S WITH A BLACK GUY! In another situation, both of them would have been lynched.

(OT: The "fingertip rule" made me laugh. I have a long torso and short arms, and a dress following that rule would barely cover my ladybits.)

[CynicMom]

I have read the story and also read the comment sections on several other sites including those from people who claim they were there. My thoughts:

-The information that the Dads were the cause of the throwout is all second-hand. We have no way of knowing if they or Mrs. D is really behind this. I'm thinking that likely this was orchestrated entirely by Mrs. D as we have no evidence otherwise.

-Several commenters claim that she was dancing and the skirt was riding up, and also that her arms were less than straight in the picture shown. However this misses the point. The rules do not state that arms have to be perfectly straight (they are not straight on most people when relaxed). They also do not state that dresses cannot ride up. Therefor she did not break the rules. She abided by the rules and was told she broke them without an appeals process.

-The reaction has been intense enough that apparently the organizer of the event has taken down their facebook page and apologized to the couple. I do not know what more will come of this. At the VERY least if they want people to abide by a stricter dress code in the future they need to tell people in advance.

[louisa05]

It's always horrified me how much hatred men feel free to show toward various classes of women: women they have decided are unattractive, or women whom they covet sexually but can't "have." And here's an ugly case of nice-looking blonde woman at her prom--but, worse yet, SHE'S WITH A BLACK GUY! In another situation, both of them would have been lynched.

(OT: The "fingertip rule" made me laugh. I have a long torso and short arms, and a dress following that rule would barely cover my ladybits.)

The Christian school I taught at used that rule for shorts and skirts for a few years. It didn't work. It is totally dependent on how a woman is built--some girls could wear extremely short skirts/shorts and some needed longer ones than they could find. And applying that rule to first graders works even less than applying it to teens. Then they tried "two inches above the knee" as the minimum length and no one could decide where the top of the knee was (and honestly, it is a bit hard to determine for the purpose of measuring). So they decided to go with "two inches above the knee when kneeling on the floor". Well, that creates a humiliating and awkward situation of measuring. And male staff (rightly) did not want to touch the issue of measuring girls' skirts/shorts at all let alone when making them kneel on the floor. Most didn't even want to confront girls to send them to a female teacher. Because there is really something completely pervy about an adult man paying that much attention to a teenage girl's legs (and I am glad that I worked with men there who recognized that fact...at least there was that). So, honestly, unless a girl showed up in a micro mini, none of it was harshly enforced.

[MamaJunebug]

Finally got around to reading it. Dang! That's some Taliban shit right there.

[MerryHappy]

I like the cut of her jib.

“I’m not responsible for some perverted 45-year-old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on and a big ass for a teenager,†she concludes. “And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem.â€

:clap:

[OkToBeTakei]

WHY ON EARTH were there Dads at the prom?

I'm sorry but that is all kind of wrong. Chaperones should be there to ensure that kids who can be kids don't get themselves in bother with mischief like drink or petty teenage feuds and fights. If they were wearing bikinis this should still not have been considered a danger just because blokes can't keep their pricks out of places and situations they have no business being.

(Disclaimer I realise dress codes exist for social convention, ie. Weddings Proms funerals etc. It is the sentiment I'm addressing.)

[louisa05]

WHY ON EARTH were there Dads at the prom?

I'm sorry but that is all kind of wrong. Chaperones should be there to ensure that kids who can be kids don't get themselves in bother with mischief like drink or petty teenage feuds and fights. If they were wearing bikinis this should still not have been considered a danger just because blokes can't keep their pricks out of places and situations they have no business being.

(Disclaimer I realise dress codes exist for social convention, ie. Weddings Proms funerals etc. It is the sentiment I'm addressing.)

This was a home school prom, so of course the parents couldn't stay away.

But, that said, there are some pretty odd traditions around prom that keep parents around for a lot of it. The small towns in Appalachia where all of my paternal relatives live and some in my area encourage whoever wants to show up to come to the school to watch the kids arrive and they can stay and watch the dance in some places as well. My college roommate went home all five years on prom weekend to go "see the prom kids" because it was such a huge town tradition. The small Catholic high school I taught at had a 50+ year old tradition called the "Grand March" where students and their dates were formally presented to an assembled crowd of parents, alumni and anyone else who showed up (and sometimes some unknown and pervy looking people showed up...a creepy dude had to be removed one year). The parents tended to stick around for the first part of the dance, sometimes as long as an hour or more. The last principal would try to get them to leave, but some of them simply didn't.

Having gone to a bigger high school where prom was an event for students and some teachers who chaperoned and parents saw you dressed up before you left the house, I find all of that very odd.

[Toothfairy]

These are grown men. They should be able to control themselves.

[Toothfairy]

This was a home school prom, so of course the parents couldn't stay away.

But, that said, there are some pretty odd traditions around prom that keep parents around for a lot of it. The small towns in Appalachia where all of my paternal relatives live and some in my area encourage whoever wants to show up to come to the school to watch the kids arrive and they can stay and watch the dance in some places as well. My college roommate went home all five years on prom weekend to go "see the prom kids" because it was such a huge town tradition. The small Catholic high school I taught at had a 50+ year old tradition called the "Grand March" where students and their dates were formally presented to an assembled crowd of parents, alumni and anyone else who showed up (and sometimes some unknown and pervy looking people showed up...a creepy dude had to be removed one year). The parents tended to stick around for the first part of the dance, sometimes as long as an hour or more. The last principal would try to get them to leave, but some of them simply didn't.

Having gone to a bigger high school where prom was an event for students and some teachers who chaperoned and parents saw you dressed up before you left the house, I find all of that very odd.

Isn't homeschool events considered as private organizations.

[Lainey]

http://www.hannahettinger.com/fuck-the- ... -by-clare/

I came across this in my travels today. Sorry if it's been posted already. They have some fundie keywords as excuses for this, such as "impure thoughts." But on the other hand, the girl doesn't sound particularly fundie, herself.

[debrand]

I believe we did discuss it. The dress didn't look particularly immodest to me. Not all homeschoolers are Christian so it seems silly to apply right wing modesty standards to kids that don't share the faith. My personal belief is that the chaperones were offended that she dated a black man and needed some reason to kick the couple out without appearing racist

[Geechee Girl]

I believe we did discuss it. The dress didn't look particularly immodest to me. Not all homeschoolers are Christian so it seems silly to apply right wing modesty standards to kids that don't share the faith. My personal belief is that the chaperones were offended that she dated a black man and needed some reason to kick the couple out without appearing racist

Yeah, I saw it that way as well.