The Gwyneth Paltrow of Fundies: Better than you, here's how!

[clarinetpower]

Found a new one. Didn't find her in searches. This came via a friend on FB who is fundie light. She's also good friends with the Pearls.

Oh, and she's better than you at EVERYTHING. House cleaning! Homesteading! Organizing! Canning! Faith! Phone Etiquette! Visit Etiquette! And she's researched it to the Civil War era, so you know it's extra good. But she's extra special Speshul because she used to be bad at everything and evil and broken and horrid (going to a prestigious college and all) so you KNOW her conversion makes yours possible. And she sells DVDs of her experiences, which make her sob.

Meet Erin! Enjoy!

keeperofthehomestead.com

[VooDooChild]

Oh dear.

[Inky]

I don't know if I need another rabbit-hole right now...

[16strong]

So. Many. Frumpers. But then there are pictures of the kids wearing almost normal clothes? :think:

I'm not sure what to make of these people. At least they don't have a million kids. And hey, the kids all have their own rooms (albeit stark).

I'm going to have to think about this. Her posts are so long. I'm just not sure I'm up for reading a novel every time she updates...

[ladyamylynn]

She has a post on water-bath canning potatoes. Enjoy your botulism, crazy lady! (also, canned potatoes, ewww!)

[Mary C Doates]

She's a friend of the Pearls, apparently--already saw two posts in two pages about socializing with Shalom and Debi.

She definitely has the Gwyneth self-righteous, "let me show you how to be as awesome as I am" vibe.

[Ting1789]

SHe's able to come up with brilliant things at the drop of the hat, which is not unusual for her!

She also makes her children pay to eat meals. Amazing! She's ever so clever!

If she has a free moment she spends it coming up with said ever so clever things!

[clarinetpower]

But she hates technology! She is a homesteader! It's just like the Amish/1800's!!! Except with better health care, nutrition and the internet but we wash dishes because it makes us sisterly!!! And her MIL was wise for hating her but she won anyway but now she knows why she was unworthy!

I wonder if she'll consciously uncouple... from sanity.

[NellieBell]

I went there and now my weekend is fucked. I'll be watching her instructional videos on floor sweeping and making meatloaf. Was there an Amish woman there or am I already hallucinating? The potato canning marathon is a snark goldmine. I don't know anyone who cans potatoes. FFS enjoy your brief stay on planet Earth and if you require canned potatoes (why I don't know), go to Walmart and buy them. Perhaps she could persuade them to accept Mom Bucks. She's both off her rocker and smug. I'll have to send out for alcohol delivery this weekend.

[SoybeanQueen]

She's not better at spelling.

Most women wait until an hour before their husband gets home to tidy the house? In which 1950s sitcom?

[Miggy]

Not sure I want to read this at all but CANNED POTATOES? What the ...? Does she know what a potato store is? As long as it is cool, dark and vermin proof, potatoes can be stored for long periods with no loss of quality. Why would you go to the effort of canning something that doesn't need it? The stupid - it burns!

[Jezebel]

Canned. Potatoes. Jeez Louise, woman!

Unchurched, never-married, childless trollop that I am, I still do a bit of canning every year. And my philosophy of canning is that if I'm going to go to all that trouble, it has to be for something I could not possibly buy in a store or knock out in short order. It has to be of very high quality, amazingly tasty, and labor-intensive or seasonal enough to only justify putting it up once a year.

Boiled potatoes do not even come close. No way. Potatoes are so cheap to buy, simple to store, and such a no-brainer to cook--I can only see home-canned potatoes as some sort of bizarre overcompensatory gesture.

[GeoBQn]

I admit that I used to eat canned potatoes when I was in elementary school. Don't know why. But they were store-bought, not hot water bath canned death traps.

[Marian the Librarian]

She's created the Vermont Country Store of fundie blogs!! :lol:

[Toothfairy]

Didn't she also say that regular moms have it easier than celeb moms? :cray-cray:

She's so full of herself. I can't even get over the name Apple that she named her daughter :wtf:

[kal]

Her children have to pay five "Mom bucks" for a meal. If only they could buy themselves a real Mom.

[lilith]

Did the kids really eat the soup they made with earthworms fried on a rock?

I know you can eat worms as a protein source, but why on earth would someone who has other options do so?

[16strong]

Did the kids really eat the soup they made with earthworms fried on a rock?

I know you can eat worms as a protein source, but why on earth would someone who has other options do so?

She seems to be a fan of building "character" in her kids, so there you go. :roll:

[DGayle]

Welcome to my Blog. My only hope is that I can be an encouragement to women by letting them take a closer look into my humble life on the Homestead...

In other words, her "humble" life is so perfect that just being herself should inspire everyone else to be better people.

Nope, not conceited at all.

[Anny Nym]

Oh look, it´s like a fresh version of Lady Lydia ... without that stale 80s´frowst on her, but just ever so egomaniac and ignorant of history! :mrgreen:

[Curious]

SHe's able to come up with brilliant things at the drop of the hat, which is not unusual for her!

She also makes her children pay to eat meals. Amazing! She's ever so clever!

If she has a free moment she spends it coming up with said ever so clever things!

I *know* I don't have time for any rabbit holes, so I'm just going to give a...say what?!?!?! to the bold

[penguinagogo]

Drying rack! Drying rack!

I want a free drying rack. Perhaps I will just have to wait until the next giveaway.....

[NellieBell]

Drying rack! Drying rack!

I want a free drying rack. Perhaps I will just have to wait until the next giveaway.....

I wonder if she uses a wringer washer too. I'm talking old school, no gas motor hooked up to it like I've seen some Amish women do. I don't blame them as they have no choice with their religion.

Speaking of the Amish they have much better, sturdier drying racks for probably half of what she's charging. We bought a small one for our camper to hang wet towels, swimsuits on after hitting the pool or lake.

I still can't get over canning potatoes. I'd gouge my eyes out with the peeler if anyone attempted to make me participate in that ridiculousness.

Edited because I cannot spell this morning and have not even hit the sauce yet!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I just took a quick look at "Charity is not easily provoked." So many fonts. Olde timey, my ass. She is the Cracker Barrel of blogs. The entry was charmingly illustrated with her children looking sullen and angry (I'm guessing they were acting according to mommy's instructions.) When she complained that her children yelled too much, her husband pointed out that she yelled a lot. Praise for darling husband-- he is so wise, so astute. Solution: she stops yelling. Lesson learned.

Smile more. Frown less. Be patient and gentle. React less. 'I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me.' Philippians 4:13

This was always my parenting style except I didn't need a Bible verse to justify it and I'm baffled by the "react less." So just don't display any emotions? Stepford-wife yourself? Is this just another way of saying "keep sweet"?

In one of the comments someone calls the provoked emotions "worldly emotions."

A quick sharp stare (the EVIL eye)

A cold front (the COLD shoulder)

An outburst (yelling)

A clench of the fist

A slam of a door

A hanging up of the phone

A stomp of the foot

A pound of the hand on a table

A striking hand

A crying fit

A nasty comeback

A rolling of your eyes

So eye rolling is right out. Too worldly. Got it. :roll:

[formergothardite]

I *know* I don't have time for any rabbit holes, so I'm just going to give a...say what?!?!?! to the bold

There might be another place where she talks about it, but she does this Mom Bucks thing(which I don't think is that bad) and got a letter from a woman who said this:

My kids have become so thankful for the chance to work, they are thankful for the food they buy, they are thrilled to charge/hire one another to do jobs for them. It is teaching all of us so much, even down to my two year old. He is learning that four 50¢ bills are worth $2, and that work makes food and that work is a blessing. And the lessons go up from there for each child!

I would not make my kids pay for regular food. I could see some extra special treat the might want to save up for, but regular food, nope. I also wouldn't pay my kids to do regular chores around the house. That is just part of living in a family, IMO. We all work together to keep things clean. Going beyond the regular cleaning(another reader mentions washing down the outsides of appliances so things like that)I could see rewarding them with the Mom Bucks system.

I haven't read all about her system, but it doesn't see that horrible. Much better than spanking them.