The Gwyneth Paltrow of Fundies: Better than you, here's how!

[GeoBQn]

I find it hilarious how she assumes everyone dreams of "homesteading" and being a farmer or whatever. No way in hell would I enjoy that.

Maybe I could see myself homesteading--if I had an infinite amount of free time and were someone else.

[yetanothermeg]

I find it hilarious how she assumes everyone dreams of "homesteading" and being a farmer or whatever. No way in hell would I enjoy that.

Right? I come from a long line of town people. The last person in my family to even live in a rural setting were my great grandparents on my dad's side. My mom's side have been city people forever. My husband grows tomatoes and we have a couple of fruit trees that came with the house. Tilling the earth is not in our blood. If something happens and I HAVE to have a garden to feed my family, I would get a book from the library and get down to gardening, but it sure isn't my preferred lifestyle. I'd rather be the Olesons than the Ingalls any day.

[GeoBQn]

Right? I come from a long line of town people. The last person in my family to even live in a rural setting were my great grandparents on my dad's side. My mom's side have been city people forever. My husband grows tomatoes and we have a couple of fruit trees that came with the house. Tilling the earth is not in our blood. If something happens and I HAVE to have a garden to feed my family, I would get a book from the library and get down to gardening, but it sure isn't my preferred lifestyle. I'd rather be the Olesons than the Ingalls any day.

Same here. My family has lived in the same major city since they got off the boat. My great-aunt used to say that a place "looks like the country" if she saw two trees next to each other.

[clarinetpower]

Watched one of her videos. I know I've been out of Wisconsin a while, but that accent makes me want to stab myself in my eardrums with knitting needles. I don't remember it being that thick, but perhaps she is exaggerating it because she wants a difference compared to the southern ones she hears?

It was the one where she was teaching her son how to clean his room. Incredibly patronizing and his reactions "OOOOh!!! Now I know HOW to clean my ROOM! I am eversoblessed!!!" were ridiculous. If that's her idea of education, I fear for her children.

[ladyamylynn]

Watched one of her videos. I know I've been out of Wisconsin a while, but that accent makes me want to stab myself in my eardrums with knitting needles. I don't remember it being that thick, but perhaps she is exaggerating it because she wants a difference compared to the southern ones she hears?

It was the one where she was teaching her son how to clean his room. Incredibly patronizing and his reactions "OOOOh!!! Now I know HOW to clean my ROOM! I am eversoblessed!!!" were ridiculous. If that's her idea of education, I fear for her children.

She narrates the monorail ride into hell, for sure.

[SoybeanQueen]

I'm a city girl. I married a farmer. Part of the deal was that I don't have to do any actual farm work unless I feel like it. Moving to the country is one thing, it has its high points. Touching or smelling animals or driving a tractor are not my life dreams. Fine if that's someone else's dream! I'm not judging the legitimacy of it. Not my dream.

[Jezebel]

I find it hilarious how she assumes everyone dreams of "homesteading" and being a farmer or whatever. No way in hell would I enjoy that.

My paternal grandparents were farm kids. They left as soon as they possibly could, and never went back. I didn't grow up with any romantic notions about farm life; they made sure of that.

I grew up in the suburbs, and loathed it. I'm a city dweller, through and through. Talking to vendors at the Farmers' Market or picking up a CSA box is as close as I care to get to "homesteading."

[salex]

Right? I come from a long line of town people. The last person in my family to even live in a rural setting were my great grandparents on my dad's side. My mom's side have been city people forever. My husband grows tomatoes and we have a couple of fruit trees that came with the house. Tilling the earth is not in our blood. If something happens and I HAVE to have a garden to feed my family, I would get a book from the library and get down to gardening, but it sure isn't my preferred lifestyle. I'd rather be the Olesons than the Ingalls any day.

I was raised on a farm. It was awesome, and I learned a lot, and started an ag econ program in college before moving to other things. One sister has a PhD and works in an ag related field, the other has a degree in Animal Science and farms with her husband. (ag engineering) They do all the sorts of things stuff this chick does, only with less drama, while farming a large farm on top of it, and other than their career choice, they live a pretty "suburban style" life---as do most/many modern farmers, at least that I know.

Of my siblings, 1 of 4 are farming for a living, even though of the 3 who married, all of us married people who were also raised on farms. My husband's family also had 4 kids, none of whom are farmers. Unmarried sister is in a city, I"m in a suburb, brother is living on a hobby farm... 10ish acres and his house, no real farming going on-- and working in a city-- and the farmer sister, who would never water bath potatoes, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't can chickens (Freezers!) . I have thought about a hobby farm, and might have gone that way with kids, (My brother's kids raise animals for the fair, etc) but at this point--more likely to buy a condo than a farm!

[Terrie]

My dad grew up on a farm. His allergies were so bad that the steroids they gave him for treament stunted his growth. I can safely say I never thought that we missed out on anything by being city kids.

[Cran]

What kind of problem does she have with her leg?

She mentions in this post

keeperofthehomestead.com/1/post/2012/09/simply-joys.html

that she had a new brace fitted for her "bad leg", but I found no further mention of it.

[Seren Ann]

What kind of problem does she have with her leg?

She mentions in this post

keeperofthehomestead.com/1/post/2012/09/simply-joys.html

that she had a new brace fitted for her "bad leg", but I found no further mention of it.

keeperofthehomestead.com/1/post/2010/11/our-story.html

This should answer your question, if you care to wade through her walls of text. Basically due to a medical error she has Reflex Sympathetic Distrophy (edit : the more recent term is Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) in her leg.

It sounds horrible, I can't snark on her for that.

[FJismyheadship]

It's your fault your husband isn't good to you.

keeperofthehomestead.com/blog/doing-good-not-evil

[kunoichi66]

But she hates technology! She is a homesteader! It's just like the Amish/1800's!!! Except with better health care, nutrition and the internet but we wash dishes because it makes us sisterly!!! And her MIL was wise for hating her but she won anyway but now she knows why she was unworthy!

I wonder if she'll consciously uncouple... from sanity.

Hey, Erin? I wash dishes. It has nothing to do with sisterliness, and everything to do with not having a dishwasher.

Just FYI.

[debrand]

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-me-monster/

We previously discussed the article that this woman wrote for No Greater Joy. Apparently, she suffers depression but believes her condition is caused by selfishness.

[debrand]

I have had a couple sisters in Christ that have continually cried to me about how horrible their husbands were to them. One wife would call me in desperation telling me that she could not take his controlling nature any longer. She felt she was not allowed to go anywhere or do anything but serve him. It did not matter that she had talents and dreams, she was forced to set her life aside to be at his beck and call. I listened, I cried with her, and I began to despise her husband. There were times I would get so angry for how poorly she was being treated that I would tell her to leave him. Wow. I know now that I was wrong to feed into her back biting as I did. The right thing would have been to have a meeting with her and her husband along with my husband and I.

keeperofthehomestead.com/blog/virtuous-conversation

Wow. So, her friend tells her something in confidence and her answer is to have a chat to chat with her friend's husband as if the adult woman was a small child that needed adults to take charge.

When you know there are husbands out there that beat their wives, molest their children, commit adultery, watch porn, or are addicted to alcohol/drugs. What a blessing it is to be married to an honorable man who may be stern and controlling but only wants to protect his family.

and

When you put it into perspective, the beaten wife of a perverted husband would simply give anything to have such a protective man who she can trust. It is all in your perspective. I have learned not to tolerate this behavior.

[itsnotmeitsu]

Just my thoughts on what I read.

In her yesteryear post, she references the neighbor making pudding with new milk because they just had a calf. I wonder how old that calf would be, because, per my gramma, who milked cows and lived on a farm without electricity, that first milk is disgusting. They never used it, and called it bloody milk, they just let the calves have that.

I don't agree with making your young children pay for clothes. That is kind of in the mom contract. I can see doing it for special occasions, but not thrift store stuff.

[twinmama]

Wow, having such pathetically low standards for a mate must be awful. He may be completely controlling and stern and an asshole, but hey, he doesn't beat the shit out of me!

The nostalgia for a time before modern medicine never gets old with me. You want to die in agony of a tooth abscess? Feel free, I'll take root canals, anesthetic and life thank you very much! But really, what they are wishing for never existed, they're just picking and choosing the parts of the past they want to go back to. I bet they wouldn't be so happy with the actual 1950s or 1850s or whatever they're wishing for.

I'm torn on the Mom Bucks thing. I would never put a price on my kids' food or meals. I want them to have a good relationship with food and feel food secure. Plus, they will have their entire adult lives to worry about money and putting food on the table and all that, childhood is not for that. I do like the idea of earning money for doing certain things and being able to spend it on special items or whatever though. But I think it is something I would only do with a 10+ year old child. Really though, I don't think it's something I'd do. Like I said, all the time in the world to worry about money.

[Coco]

Now i totally believe that she knows Debi Pearl. Those 'it could be worse so treat your asshole hubby like Jesus and be thankful for a shit existence' ideas of marriage are straight out of Debi Pearl's scary manifesto (created to be his helpmeet)

[blisterine]

I tried making sense out of it. No go. They live in Tn, or WI. The Amish accept them, then they ostracize her. She had a lawsuit she lost because they had her blog posts where she talked about using a wringer washer and her attorney dropped dead. She jumps around a lot

I don't think she's as medically savvy was she thins. She claims her daughter "sugars" were 400 at one point but she got them down to 4 through diet. I think she's confusing A1C and regular blood glucose readings, they are not the same thing at all.

I did find something interesting in one of her posts. I think this is the exact verse J'Chelle used when she found out about the death of Jubilee:

"Why is my baby dead? Was it from not eating? They had a team of doctors huddled around him trying to bring him back, little paddles on his chest. I cried "The Lord gave, the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord." That was all I could say at the moment. I started to sing the song, "Be still My Soul", as I rocked back and forth. I knew that God was in control."

I guess Job 1:21 is one of the most popular fundie verses. It must be in some required reading for keeping sweet.

I personally could not eat applesauce made from 1/2 rotten apples with wormholes in them. I think she got that recipe from that Fruitcake Emily!

[julie paradox]

Okay, have I got this straight?

She broke her pelvis and then went merrily into her fourth pregnancy?

[semiliberate]

Unchurched, never-married, childless trollop that I am, I still do a bit of canning every year.

My mom and I used to can a couple hundred quarts of things, (tomatoes, salsa, jelly, etc...) a year and I miss it, but to do it in such a hot climate, by myself, is no fun. I miss it. Thanks for keeping up with it for those of us that are too lazy.

I am thinking of making Blue Ball's salsa again this year though, it's the one salsa I like. :) Vinegary goodness.

At least with canning the chicken she writes about using pressure cookers, thank goodness!

[Grimalkin]

Her children have to pay five "Mom bucks" for a meal. If only they could buy themselves a real Mom.

OMG! You know I do this the other way around. I pay my kids to eat my cooking lol. I actually just started this because my kids are so super picky they get 50 points for trying dinner and 50 points for a serving of vegetables eaten. 100 points = $1.00 I know it sad bit I can't think of another way to get my picky eaters to try new foods. I have not yet read this one but I predict very little sleep for myself tonight!

[Grimalkin]

What the holy fuck! "Speak only in a low and soothing voice", "minimize all noise", all these 1950's suggestions tell you to basically treat your hubNd like he is mentally ill.

I think this is a satire blog. Really I just cannot believe this is real.

[Coco]

What the holy fuck! "Speak only in a low and soothing voice", "minimize all noise", all these 1950's suggestions tell you to basically treat your hubNd like he is mentally ill.

I think this is a satire blog. Really I just cannot believe this is real.

It's so bad that it should be satire, but actually possible! Have you read Debi's book? amazon.com/Created-Be-His-Help-Meet-ebook/dp/B0041D83VU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1402373185&sr=8-1&keywords=created+to+be+his+helpmeet

There are 708 reviews so far. The reviews should be enough :lol: Please don't give the Pearls any business.

All that shit about treating your hubby with kid gloves as though he is mentally ill is par for the course. I've thrown that book across the room in frustration a time or two back when I was still swimming in the kool-aid, because even though i wanted to believe it and live it, it still made me :angry-banghead: . And this blogger knows Debi personally...

[julie paradox]

I suspect that though the blog appears to be real, the leaflet she is quoting is a Poe. It starts off sounding ok but by the time we reach not asking him where he's been if he doesn't come home all night I have dropped my suspended disbelief. It appears that the blogger is aware of this too, because she mentions that many people have said it isn't real (but she doesn't agree, obvs).