An interview with Michael Pearl's nephew

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I came across this earlier and I don't think it's been posted.

examiner.com/article/michael-pearl-s-nephew-speaks-out-on-god-beatings-and-to-train-up-a-child

As I remember it, my cousins (his children) and my siblings and I were all playing around an old barn on our property. We were probably playing some form of tag or hide-and-seek. At one point, on the top floor of the barn there was a stall/opening that had been partitioned off from the outside (about a 10-15 ft drop to the ground) with a type of plywood that was about waist-high. In the middle a small notch had been cut, which to a 12 year old boy looked like a perfect spot to urinate. I don’t remember this next part clearly – but I am sure that I urinated off the top floor through this little notch onto the ground below, and one of my younger female cousins must have been down below because I got in trouble for ‘exposing myself’ to her.

My uncle came over and with my mother took me out to the barn to discipline me for this. Again, I don’t remember this clearly, but I do remember feeling like I was being accused of ‘sexual perversion’. Essentially, my uncle would spank me for a bit and then give me an opportunity to confess. Upon refusal, he would repeat. I don’t know exactly how long this went on, but it went on long enough for me to form a very strong will. It got to the point where I wasn’t going to admit to anything because I wasn’t going to admit to something I didn’t do, no matter what. Some sense of integrity was conflated with typical childhood rebellion, and I just wasn’t going to give in.

Eventually though, I did say whatever they wanted me to say because another part of me knew that they had the power, and I was just subjecting myself to this pain for no reason. I’d like to think that they knew I was only saying what they wanted me to so they would stop – that I still had my integrity and thus the ‘power’. In reality, I would guess that he was only trying to break my will and probably thought that this was success – or at least the first step towards success.

This time though, word got to my parents that I had been sneaking in and getting the Nintendo. To teach me a lesson, my mother called me downstairs to see the Nintendo on a cutting board, which she then used a hammer to destroy to the best of her ability. It was on that day that I stopped talking to her – for about the next four years. In a way, they had finally broken me.

My uncle compares child training to horse training quite often, and this comparison didn’t seem too off the mark to me. Everything is about conditioning, and anyone who has trained any animal knows that the sooner you start conditioning them, the easier it is. There’s even the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricksâ€. This is the message conveyed in Proverbs 22:6, from which Michael Pearl derived the title of his book: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.†Much of the condemnation he has received has been targeted to his message towards toddlers and infants; I believe though that this is coming from people who cannot distinguish between shock at what they’ve grown to believe and the logical thought that has gone into his teachings. I remember seeing a former follower of his (Elizabeth Esther) speaking on Anderson Cooper’s daytime talk show refer to it as cold and calculating. For many, there is a distinct dissonance between feelings and rationality, and my uncle’s teachings eschew feelings in favor of what he sees as rational application of Biblical scripture.

I believe that he truly believes he is spreading God’s Word – though I suspect there is plenty of ego driving him as well, and like a rebellious teen is only fueled by the attacks against him.

My mother and stepfather have since divorced, and she lives in the community alongside another one of their siblings – my stepfather moved about 3 hours away to Nashville, TN. During my studies of religion and philosophy, I got past my anger and hatred. I’d like to think I simply grew up. But I don’t have a relationship with them. For better or for worse, I don’t think I really understand what it’s like to have parents. My ex-wife used to jokingly ask if I was raised by wolves, and then follow that up with “Oh wait, you were.â€

For myself, I have no interest in breaking the will of my children. I have no interest in conditioning them into obedience. I will “train them up in the way they should goâ€, which is to tame their own feelings, treat others with love and generosity, and in general – follow the teachings of Christ. If you believe in the Christian God, I see no reason to deviate from the teachings of Christ if you want to train your children in the way they should go.

[gustava]

Thanks for posting this. Glad he moved on.

[debrand]

It is wonderful that one of Michael's family members are speaking out against the abusive behavior. But I can't help but wish that some of Pearl's children would realize how abusive their parents are instead of allowing themselves to be used as 'proof' that their dad's methods work.

I wonder which of the Pearl girls thought her cousin was exposing himself to them? When I was a kid, I remember seeing some boys urinating outside and never thought that they were exposing themselves to me. I just thought that they were lazy and crude.

[Jana814]

Thanks for posting this. Glad he moved on.

Agree! Nice to know not everyone in the Pearl family is nuts.

[debrand]

I just finished reading the article. Apparently, he and his sister received the Nintendo as a present for Christmas from their biological dad. For some reason their mom and step dad kept it locked in dad's office but wouldn't let the kids play with it. Why not throw it away if you don't think your children should play video games? My guess is that step dad played on the Nintendo without mom's knowledge.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Peeing off the top floor of a barn is disgusting and the kid probably should have been punished in some way, like having to spend the rest of the day indoors. A 12-year-old knows damn well he's supposed to pee in a toilet (or at least in the bushes). But beating him??? Those Pearls are a sick, sick family. It's a wonder those kids didn't grow up to be serial killers.

[doggie]

boys pee everywhere a barn is a pee haven animals do it all the time. they learn if from their dads and friends and relatives. Plus if you have a built in self loading squirt gun it is hard not to shoot things with in when you have the chance.

[Palimpsest]

Doggie, thanks for the laugh. Mr P agrees with you. It must be a boy thing. :cracking-up:

Back to the serious topic: In that article the nephew points to how cold, calculating and "logical" Michael Pearl is in his teaching. I agree. Michael Pearl is a sociopath.

[Vex]

Michael Pearl has sociopathic tendencies. He's superficially charming, he uses logic rather than emotion, he lacks empathy and he is extremely narcissistic. Everything in his world - his wife, his kids, his ministry, and as we see here his extended family - is something to be admired for and is in his view an extension of him. I'm not sure if he meets the criteria for a true sociopath but he certainly hits a lot of the diagnostic markers.

ETA: 1000th post, woo.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, I think he is a sociopath too. He scares me, his way of thinking and the way he talks of others seem just so strange, he has this creepy aura around him, like I can barely look at a picture of him without shuddering.

[debrand]

Michael Pearl designed his house so that all the bedrooms opened onto the main house. He only gave his children a few minutes to dress before he barged in on them. They couldn't attend sleep overs and he seemed determined to tell them how sexually perverse the world is. I think that Michael Pearl has some deep problems with sexuality.

[Jana814]

Michael Pearl designed his house so that all the bedrooms opened onto the main house. He only gave his children a few minutes to dress before he barged in on them. They couldn't attend sleep overs and he seemed determined to tell them how sexually perverse the world is. I think that Michael Pearl has some deep problems with sexuality.

My G-d! What an ass!! I think u r right about the sexuality problems.

[lilith]

Pearl in the latest NGJ-

"It is important to occasionally point out the ugly reaping process in the lives of people the children know, or even people that you may come across on the street or while shopping. Use your imagination to flesh out possible events that led up to a man’s homelessness, a girl’s debauchery, or a drug addict’s ruined life."

So instead of helping people he makes up hypothetical stories about their degeneracy for his kids, just like when he saw a sex worker being beaten he didn't stop to help but explained to his young children that it was a consequence of her sin.

And how can he know about a woman's degeneracy whilst passing her in a shop? Or pick a drug addict for that matter - many addicts look just like anyone else.

[Closed Womb]

Michael Pearl has sociopathic tendencies. He's superficially charming, he uses logic rather than emotion, he lacks empathy and he is extremely narcissistic. Everything in his world - his wife, his kids, his ministry, and as we see here his extended family - is something to be admired for and is in his view an extension of him. I'm not sure if he meets the criteria for a true sociopath but he certainly hits a lot of the diagnostic markers.

ETA: 1000th post, woo.

[Arete]

Pearl in the latest NGJ-

"It is important to occasionally point out the ugly reaping process in the lives of people the children know, or even people that you may come across on the street or while shopping. Use your imagination to flesh out possible events that led up to a man’s homelessness, a girl’s debauchery, or a drug addict’s ruined life."

So instead of helping people he makes up hypothetical stories about their degeneracy for his kids, just like when he saw a sex worker being beaten he didn't stop to help but explained to his young children that it was a consequence of her sin.

And how can he know about a woman's degeneracy whilst passing her in a shop? Or pick a drug addict for that matter - many addicts look just like anyone else.

How about this for an ugly sowing and reaping process: The addict became an addict when he turned to drugs to dull the pain of being raised by parents who beat him early, often, and without anger to train him up.

How about that as the consequences of sin?

[Cleopatra7]

How about this for an ugly sowing and reaping process: The addict became an addict when he turned to drugs to dull the pain of being raised by parents who beat him early, often, and without anger to train him up.

How about that as the consequences of sin?

Many drug addicts end up as addicts precisely because they are trying to escape from bad family situations, situations that are caused by parents who follow sociopaths like the Pearls. In such cases, the sins of the parents led to the sins of the children. More than a few of the stories at Homeschoolers Anonymous have turned to drugs, alcohol, and other self-destructive behaviors to forget the torture they endured at the hands of their parents. :(

[flojo]

Pearl in the latest NGJ-

"It is important to occasionally point out the ugly reaping process in the lives of people the children know, or even people that you may come across on the street or while shopping. Use your imagination to flesh out possible events that led up to a man’s homelessness, a girl’s debauchery, or a drug addict’s ruined life."

So instead of helping people he makes up hypothetical stories about their degeneracy for his kids, just like when he saw a sex worker being beaten he didn't stop to help but explained to his young children that it was a consequence of her sin.

And how can he know about a woman's degeneracy whilst passing her in a shop? Or pick a drug addict for that matter - many addicts look just like anyone else.

That reminds me of this article, where he and his children witnessed a prostitute being beaten, and used it as an opportunity to denigrate the woman (and other parties involved).

nogreaterjoy.org/articles/safeguarding-your-children/

[Vex]

LOL Thank you, Closed Womb!

It doesn't surprise my Pearl makes up stories to support his own warped mindset when he sees people. Instead of having an emotional response (anger, disgust, sadness, pity) he goes straight to deciding what sins they committed. He has no sense of empathy whatsoever.

[RachelB]

Many drug addicts end up as addicts precisely because they are trying to escape from bad family situations, situations that are caused by parents who follow sociopaths like the Pearls. In such cases, the sins of the parents led to the sins of the children. More than a few of the stories at Homeschoolers Anonymous have turned to drugs, alcohol, and other self-destructive behaviors to forget the torture they endured at the hands of their parents. :(

Well, and having a hellish home life makes a person less picky about what route out of that bad situation they take. Probably about a third of the people I see asking for spare change in the city where I attend school are under 18, food insecure if not chronically hungry, housing insecure if not chronically homeless. And I would wager that most of them were kicked out or ran away because of untenable home life. It breaks my heart when the best options someone sees as available to them are still pretty bad.