Want your daughter to despise you? Do this!

[lawlifelgbt]

JFYI: I don't know what anyone else thinks, especially those of you that have dealt with it, but I HATE the term "cutter" and I'd advise you, if you have a child/relative/friend who does it, don't use that term for them.

It's kind of a language dance to get around, but I always feel much better saying that I'd had a problem with self-harm/cutting or that I did that, rather than to assign myself that term. A good friend of mine who self-harmed told me, when I was getting out of it, "This isn't who you are. Remember you are more than that." So I thought it was better not to use "cutter" because you avoid integrating their problem into the person's identity. If that's what the person wants to use, fine, but it can be derogatory for some people.

Side tangent over.

[latraviata]

Moot point since it would never occur to him to write one. He was writing a book about Roman Emporers. I put a halt on it when he got to Caligula and asked me what depraved perversions were. Do I get a parenting star for that one?

Not if I can help it. What is wrong with his question?

When I was in catholic (convent) Grammar school, the nuns skipped all the 'dubious' pages in Greek and Latin literature, so the stories didn't make sense at all.

Fortunately the father of my BFF was a professor of classical languages, so on the sly we read the uncensored version of his library and shared it with the rest of the girls in our class.

[AnywhereButHere]

Not if I can help it. What is wrong with his question?

When I was in catholic (convent) Grammar school, the nuns skipped all the 'dubious' pages in Greek and Latin literature, so the stories didn't make sense at all.

Fortunately the father of my BFF was a professor of classical languages, so on the sly we read the uncensored version of his library and shared it with the rest of the girls in our class.

Nothing was wrong with the question per se. I just didn't want to answer it. :) I gave it my best shot though. I figure, if you're old enough to ask, you're old enough for a real answer. I put a halt on the research because some of the books/articles were going into a little more detail than I felt comfortable with for a 12 year old on his own. It was summer break, and his grandparents let him go home alone to use the computer. I wasn't jazzed about him googling "depraved perversions" and coming up on some interesting images. That's a little too much education. He'll be picking it back up with slightly tamer source materials and a mandate to "ask a parent before google".

All kidding aside, I'm happy that he is comfortable coming to me with questions. I try to answer as honestly as possible, and I hope that as he gets older (teenager is right around the corner) he'll still trust me enough to be able to ask.

[slickcat79]

Thats the logical course. You cant prevent rebellion by being controlling, it just makes it all get pent up inside and then explode when there is no longer any control over them and the teenage years of finding your own identity and learning how to make your own way in life begin. Controlling a child into adulthood is basically delaying natural human development.

See: Josh Duggar.

If you don't allow your child/teen to expand their boundaries in age-appropriate ways, you might find that the consequences are much greater for them when they start pushing boundaries as adults.