Signs you're at a fundy gathering

[church_of_dog]

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yaaaaaay, God!" :lol:

My smart-alecky atheist family would probably have done it this way if ever they found themselves in a situation requiring a pre-meal prayer:

"Grace."

"There, I said grace."

:roll: :lol:

[scc12]

My mom had large family gathering where she fixed a ham...well,my mom was kind of a klutz,and she ended up dropping the ham 4x (I kid you not!) as it slid out of the oven when she was trying to remove it.

Come time to say grace,my uncle said this prayer:

Oh Dear Lord God we pray,

Please don't let May drop this ham no more today!

We all all laughing and howling so bad,we couldn't eat for several minutes!

[Swamptribe]

My mom had large family gathering where she fixed a ham...well,my mom was kind of a klutz,and she ended up dropping the ham 4x (I kid you not!) as it slid out of the oven when she was trying to remove it.

Come time to say grace,my uncle said this prayer:

Oh Dear Lord God we pray,

Please don't let May drop this ham no more today!

We all all laughing and howling so bad,we couldn't eat for several minutes!

We had a family gathering once upon a time; it was casual and Dad was dressed in his old comfy pants (ones mom wanted to toss). He pulled the roast out of the oven, and as he was turning to place the roast on the counter, his pants fell down around his ankles. Of course, Mom started yelling for us to all come see. It was one of the greatest "I told you so" moments ever.

It's funny, but I was never subjected to Jello salad concoctions until I started hanging out with my husbands family. The first time I ever had string string bean casserole make an appearance at a Thanksgiving dinner was when his brothers girlfriend brought it. His sister is actually an excellent cook, none of this 'open a can of' stuff. Always liked getting invited to her house because there would be good food.

[scc12]

We had a family gathering once upon a time; it was casual and Dad was dressed in his old comfy pants (ones mom wanted to toss). He pulled the roast out of the oven, and as he was turning to place the roast on the counter, his pants fell down around his ankles. Of course, Mom started yelling for us to all come see. It was one of the greatest "I told you so" moments ever.

That is just too funny! LOL!

[Etaoin Shrdlu]

Re the food - pretty standard for any kind of church or older women's group gathering (I'm in Ontario Canada); the crap probably appeals to fundies because you can make large batches of the stuff at lower cost. What makes it a fundie gathering are the long skirts, praying over everything etc and so on. Oh, and only KJV please!

For more disgusting cooking in this vein, however, I discovered this:

cakercooking.com

Somebody mentioned that website on another thread. I can neither confirm nor deny making the Tang Pah from there. It may or may not have been awesome.

[PennySycamore]

My mom had large family gathering where she fixed a ham...well,my mom was kind of a klutz,and she ended up dropping the ham 4x (I kid you not!) as it slid out of the oven when she was trying to remove it.

Come time to say grace,my uncle said this prayer:

Oh Dear Lord God we pray,

Please don't let May drop this ham no more today!

We all all laughing and howling so bad,we couldn't eat for several minutes!

One Thanksgiving, I dropped the turkey on the floor as I was taking it out of the oven to turn and baste it. I wiped it off and put it back in the oven as it had longer to roast. I figured that would kill any germs on it.

[Black Aliss]

I prefer the quick redneck prayers.."good food,good meat,good God,let's eat!" :)

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers. . .

[Becoming_Me]

I know I am at a fundy function when...

The girls avoid speaking directly to the guys but are over the top helpful and nice to everyone else. They flirt by acting as sweet, submissive helpers. How do I know this? Besides seeing this multiple times I have done this multiple times. (But my guy interaction skills are so abysmal I would have freaked out if a guy actually was attracted by my "performance".)

All the girls huddle together and talk about: the best kind of skirts to wear while climbing trees, how to do schoolwork while you are supposed to be minding your crazy little brothers, how scary public school would be, why you would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER send your children to public school, what you would do if your parents died and you got sent to a liberal family, how to make the best homemade bread...(insert list of sleep-inducing topics)

My dad prays to bless the meal using doctorate level vocabulary I have never heard him use in real life.

I feel extreme pressure to make sure I and my brothers are putting on the perfect fundy-family show, to the point of having an upset stomach.

[Shoes Grace]

I have literally never heard a prayer like the ones you mention. My grandfather's before every holiday meal always went something to the tune of, "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this food and the blessings we have received and hope you may watch over us in the coming year (or season, if it was Easter). In Jesus name we pray, Amen."

My husband's family had some kind of horrible childish rhyme that they've finally dropped because it requires being gathered around a table. But sometimes my brother-in-law will decide he needs to say a prayer, and we get some terrible abridged version of whatever the pastor said whenever he was in church last, plus a lengthy mention of family and food. They're more about my brother-in-law than they are about any higher power.

But I'm a fan of summer camp graces. Parody graces to the tune of The Flintstones, The Addams Family, Superman, The Extended Grace (where you say the word "Grace" as loud and as long as you can).

[Verin Sedai]

I have literally never heard a prayer like the ones you mention. My grandfather's before every holiday meal always went something to the tune of, "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this food and the blessings we have received and hope you may watch over us in the coming year (or season, if it was Easter). In Jesus name we pray, Amen."

My husband's family had some kind of horrible childish rhyme that they've finally dropped because it requires being gathered around a table. But sometimes my brother-in-law will decide he needs to say a prayer, and we get some terrible abridged version of whatever the pastor said whenever he was in church last, plus a lengthy mention of family and food. They're more about my brother-in-law than they are about any higher power.

But I'm a fan of summer camp graces. Parody graces to the tune of The Flintstones, The Addams Family, Superman, The Extended Grace (where you say the word "Grace" as loud and as long as you can).

I remember learning Superman grace at camp. We will sometimes do it with our kids, because it's just fun.

Thank you, Lord, for giving us food! [extend right fist above head]

Thank you, Lord, for giving us food! [extend left fist above head]

Thank you, Lord

Thank you, Lord

Thank you, Looooooord [both fists above head]

for giving us fooooood [fists on hips, Superman style]

:mrgreen:

[Shoes Grace]

Verin, yours is a little bit different than ours. (It's always fun to discuss the same camp songs with others, because no one place does the same song the same way.)

[Extend both fists] Thank you, God, for giving us food!

Repeat.

[Extend right fist] For the friends we meet!

[Extend left fist] For the food we eat!

[both fists] Thank you, God, for giving us food! [superman flying motions]

Invariably, someone would swap it to "friends we eat" and "food we meet," but, such it goes.

[OddlyAmused]

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yaaaaaay, God!" :lol:

Girl Scout camp grace in a nutshell. I had forgotten that we said grace before every meal at those camps.

[feministing]

Verin, yours is a little bit different than ours. (It's always fun to discuss the same camp songs with others, because no one place does the same song the same way.)

[Extend both fists] Thank you, God, for giving us food!

Repeat.

[Extend right fist] For the friends we meet!

[Extend left fist] For the food we eat!

[both fists] Thank you, God, for giving us food! [superman flying motions]

Invariably, someone would swap it to "friends we eat" and "food we meet," but, such it goes.

Our daily breeeeeaaaaaad! We're gonna get feeeeeeeeeeed! Thank you God, for giving us food! Ba da da da!

At fundie gatherings there are lots of "praise god" and "Lord willing." Everything is around god.

Whenever I go to fundie gatherings there are people giving me fliers for events at their church about becoming closer to god and "what would Jesus say to the atheists?" Because they fear for the future of my soul.

And lest we forget Muslim fundie gatherings. Inshallah! Alhamdulilah!

[RachelB]

Our daily breeeeeaaaaaad! We're gonna get feeeeeeeeeeed! Thank you God, for giving us food! Ba da da da!

At fundie gatherings there are lots of "praise god" and "Lord willing." Everything is around god.

Whenever I go to fundie gatherings there are people giving me fliers for events at their church about becoming closer to god and "what would Jesus say to the atheists?" Because they fear for the future of my soul.

And lest we forget Muslim fundie gatherings. Inshallah! Alhamdulilah!

The teacher I had for basic Arabic in college 15 or so years ago described "Alhamdulilah" as a functional equivalent of "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise." Part of the reason it has stuck in my head better than many other phrases I learned then is that it translated so well into an expression of casual, reflexive piety that was already deeply familiar to me.

[JaChelle Sugar]

I know I am at a fundy function when...

The girls avoid speaking directly to the guys but are over the top helpful and nice to everyone else. They flirt by acting as sweet, submissive helpers. How do I know this? Besides seeing this multiple times I have done this multiple times. (But my guy interaction skills are so abysmal I would have freaked out if a guy actually was attracted by my "performance".)

All the girls huddle together and talk about: the best kind of skirts to wear while climbing trees, how to do schoolwork while you are supposed to be minding your crazy little brothers, how scary public school would be, why you would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER send your children to public school, what you would do if your parents died and you got sent to a liberal family, how to make the best homemade bread...(insert list of sleep-inducing topics)

My dad prays to bless the meal using doctorate level vocabulary I have never heard him use in real life.

I feel extreme pressure to make sure I and my brothers are putting on the perfect fundy-family show, to the point of having an upset stomach.

Oh my Goddess, this.