Signs you're at a fundy gathering

[yarabess]

Lots of Jello and casseroles. Punch with rainbow sherbet floating in it. Women with long skirts, long hair and ugly pumps. Men with button-down shirts and ties regardless of the weather.

Lots of paper decorations (recycled from a previous gathering). A very long-winded blessing before the meal is served always delivered by a man.

The casseroles will all involve processed foods, maybe canned vegetables, and cream of something soup.

Nothing fresh.

[Mary C Doates]

The casseroles will all involve processed foods, maybe canned vegetables, and cream of something soup.

Nothing fresh.

Don't forget the Jello-encased fruit.

[ADoyle90815]

Don't forget the Jello-encased fruit.

Or the Cool Whip mixed into the jello encased fruit, not actual whipped cream. Also, a salad made from Jello or other instant pudding, the thing that makes it a salad is that it has chopped apples in it.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Jello and fruit? Sherbet punch? Cream of Glop casseroles? Prayer? Half the things in this thread sound like a typical family reunion in the Midwestern US. :lol: At least the ones I've been to...

[Rachel333]

Before or after the wedding? I'm curious what kind of PDA would be acceptable at a homeschool graduation.

It was after the wedding. I think Anna was pregnant with her first then. Her sister was there as well and every time Anna would lean to talk to her sister Josh would grab her and kiss her or just hold her close to him. I remember finding it very odd, and all the kissing was definitely a bit much for being in public.

[Mary C Doates]

Or the Cool Whip mixed into the jello encased fruit, not actual whipped cream. Also, a salad made from Jello or other instant pudding, the thing that makes it a salad is that it has chopped apples in it.

Worse: Miracle Whip (the fake mayonnaise) mixed into the Jello-encased fruit, or mixed into gelatin-encased vegetables (which makes it a salad).

[Rachel333]

Worse: Miracle Whip (the fake mayonnaise) mixed into the Jello-encased fruit, or mixed into gelatin-encased vegetables (which makes it a salad).

Oh god, really? :ew:

[skythetowel]

Jello and fruit? Sherbet punch? Cream of Glop casseroles? Prayer? Half the things in this thread sound like a typical family reunion in the Midwestern US. :lol: At least the ones I've been to...

Okay, "Cream of Glop casseroles" made me laugh so hard I couldn't even read it to my headship.

[smittykins]

D

Okay, "Cream of Glop casseroles" made me laugh so hard I couldn't even read it to my headship.

Ditto. I must find a way to incorporate that into everyday conversation.

Also, if not previously mentioned, blessing-before-the-meal that lasts at least five minutes.

[lemonhead]

Also, if not previously mentioned, blessing-before-the-meal that lasts at least five minutes.

And it will be a Jesus Wejus prayer. You know, the ones that go like this: "Jesus, we jus' ask for your protection as we chow down on these corn cobs, and Jesus we jus' pray that any sinners among us would have a burden laid upon their heart, and Jesus we jus' want to tell you how much we appreciate these wimmins who made all this tasty food, and oh, Jesus, we jus' ask you to bless these mighty fine casseroles to the nourishment of our bodies, in Jesus name, Amen."

Like that, right?

[singsingsing]

Someone uploaded this to Facebook a while back and I thought it was hilarious:

[lemonhead]

Someone uploaded this to Facebook a while back and I thought it was hilarious:

Perfect! :cracking-up:

[gypsygirl22]

Jello and fruit? Sherbet punch? Cream of Glop casseroles? Prayer? Half the things in this thread sound like a typical family reunion in the Midwestern US. :lol: At least the ones I've been to...

Oh yeah, sounds like one of my sister-in-law's covered dish parties.

[thoughtful]

I've figured out the prayer-food connection.

If you want people to wait, and sit through long prayers, you need food that is not terribly appetizing, and must avoid finger food.

Fresh strawberries and carrot sticks are way too tempting and easy to grab before grace is said. For a jello mound or glop casserole, you'd get caught due to the hole you'd leave in it, and you'd need a spoon and a plate.

:D

[Rescinded and Mended]

From personal experience, I briefly ran with a crowd of fundie/fundie-lite homeschoolers when my son was a toddler. I wanted to make some friends for both of us, and I didn't know many people who had kids his age, so I answered community ads for homeschool play groups.

The only subject any of them wanted to talk about was childrearing. Giving birth, nursing, diapers, spitting up, potty training...yeah. For HOURS at a time. None of them ever had anything else to talk about.

Even creepier was when you walked into their houses. Several of these women always had the tv on - no cable, just static, but with Pat Robertson on the 700 club in the background. And their houses were all decorated with an 'Americana' theme.

[polecat]

I've figured out the prayer-food connection.

If you want people to wait, and sit through long prayers, you need food that is not terribly appetizing, and must avoid finger food.

Fresh strawberries and carrot sticks are way too tempting and easy to grab before grace is said. For a jello mound or glop casserole, you'd get caught due to the hole you'd leave in it, and you'd need a spoon and a plate.

:D

This reminded me of childhood Thanksgivings at my grandmother's house. My Methodist minister uncle always pushed to say the prayer -- his tended to be along the lines of "over the teeth and through the gums" -- instead of my IFB father, who would pray on and on for five minutes including pretty much everything he could think of in it.

Something about praying privately instead of on the street corners for show comes to mind here ...

[RachelB]

Your options for food are egg salad, tuna salad, and ham salad.

Ha! Those were the standard funeral lunch sandwiches at the midwestern and very non-fundie church of my youth, along with Jello salad with things suspended in it, plus crudites (by which I mean carrot and celery sticks and sliced radishes). The Ladies' Aid Society (a group of women in the church about the age of my grandmothers) made them. Casseroles, or "hot dishes," as we called them, were not traditionally funeral food, as funerals varied a lot more in length than weddings and Sunday services, and you wouldn't want your Cream of Whatever to dry out.

[JaChelle Sugar]

Jello and fruit? Sherbet punch? Cream of Glop casseroles? Prayer? Half the things in this thread sound like a typical family reunion in the Midwestern US. :lol: At least the ones I've been to...

Yeah, the food-based comments puzzle me too. Is that not normal US middle-class get-together food for a crowd? (Not upper middle class of course though.)

[salex]

Yeah, the food-based comments puzzle me too. Is that not normal US middle-class get-together food for a crowd? (Not upper middle class of course though.)

I thought it all sounded like food from the 1970s in the midwest. the fundie lights I know (homeschool, dominionist, but dress moreor less like mainstreatm USA) always have better food than this. Lots of fresh veggies and fruits, some salads, no jello.

[Andromeda]

Yeah, the food-based comments puzzle me too. Is that not normal US middle-class get-together food for a crowd? (Not upper middle class of course though.)

I think it's that there's a fair amount of overlap between lower middle class midwesterners and fundies. I grew up one of the former, and knew a whole lot of the latter...

[scc12]

I prefer the quick redneck prayers.."good food,good meat,good God,let's eat!" :)

[salex]

I prefer the quick redneck prayers.."good food,good meat,good God,let's eat!" :)

When my father completed his chemo, and was feeling much better and in remission, he paraphrased Robert Burns

Some have meat and cannot eat

and some would eat but have no meat.

But, we have meat and we can eat

And for that we are thankful.... (Salex Dad)

“Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it,

But we hae meat and we can eat,

And sae the Lord be thankit.†Robert Burns

[smittykins]

I prefer the quick redneck prayers.."good food,good meat,good God,let's eat!" :)

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yaaaaaay, God!" :lol:

[freedomjesusfootball]

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yaaaaaay, God!" :lol:

You took the words out of my mouth.

But seriously, I think it should take no more than 60-90 seconds to reverently and seriously thank God. Anything more is showboating.

[tropaka]

Re the food - pretty standard for any kind of church or older women's group gathering (I'm in Ontario Canada); the crap probably appeals to fundies because you can make large batches of the stuff at lower cost. What makes it a fundie gathering are the long skirts, praying over everything etc and so on. Oh, and only KJV please!

For more disgusting cooking in this vein, however, I discovered this:

cakercooking.com