Has anyone seen this going on? - Communion

[GenerationCedarchip]

I meant to ask this earlier but got wrapped up in something at work. At any rate, I was down on the fundie farm recently and happened to be at church for communion. I didn't see everyone doing this, but enough people did it that I thought I'd ask.

When folks went up front for communion, sometimes the husband would take two servings from the pastor and hand one to his wife. I had seen that mentioned in descriptions of Doug Phillips' home church in Quiverfull, but not in this particular church. Granted, they're definitely fundie but this was still new. Symbolically, it almost made things look like the wife only gets to be part of the sacrament and maybe even only gets to be saved because of her husband and that just is not what the Bible says. Does anyone know where this teaching comes from?

[bananacat]

I have never seen this happen in the churches I've been to, although I haven't been to fundie churches. In the church where my mom still goes, each person goes up for their own share and a blessing. If a person can't make it to the front, then a helper will bring it to them in the pew, whether it's because they are disabled or too busy minding their children (although we have the evil nursery so that is rarely a problem). Sometimes the routine will be completely different and ushers will pass out tiny little cups of grape juice and bread cubes and everyone will take communion in the pew, waiting until everyone is served so they can do it at the same time.

I don't see how it could work for men to bring the stuff back to their wives. Communion isn't about eating a little bit of bread and juice/wine. If you don't have the preacher say the blessing while you are doing it, then it's nothing more than a tiny snack.

[Rachel333]

I've seen that just out of convenience so the whole family doesn't have to crowd the table. I think it was the husband doing it because he's supposed to be the head of the family and all, but I don't think it was because the wife wasn't supposed to take it herself. (This church let everyone see it as they see fit; there were tables in the back and I think people generally said their own prayer before they took it. We'd go as a family and my dad would do the blessing.)

I would be completely unsurprised, though, if some people did think it was wrong for the wife to directly take communion. It seems like just the kind of patriarchal crap those people like.

[VodouDoll]

I've only seen that happen in cases where the wife is sick or has trouble standing long enough to wait in line. I've seen wives get communion for their husbands too. But, then, my parents attend a liberal Catholic church so maybe it's different there.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Yes--it's not that uncommon in very conservative churches.

[liltwinstar]

Wow, I've never seen that! Back in reconstructionist days, our church had weekly communion, but everyone took communion the same way. There was no "man getting it for his wife" going on at all, and it was a pretty hard core patrio church.

That would *never* happen in Eastern Orthodox church - communion is considered sacred and is only handled by ordained clergy. So, the average man is not allowed to touch it at all. If someone needed special assistance (say an elderly person who couldn't get to the front of the church), the priest would bring communion to that person. If it took a long time to do that, oh well - people were expected to just be patient, since communion is a *huge* deal.

[GenerationCedarchip]

Yes--it's not that uncommon in very conservative churches.

Wow - I wonder why they do it that way. It just seems strange.

BTW, just to clarify - these were obviously not cases where wife was too ill, too busy with littles, etc.. to come up front. The wives came up front behind their the husbands and knelt in the second row at the altar (on communion days, there are two rows of kneelers up front for taking communion). They then waited for their husbands to take the bread and wine and serve them a portion of it.

[tinuviel]

They probably do it that way to drive home the idea that the husband is the high priest of his home. A woman goes to God through her husband. :vomit:

[demgirl]

They probably do it that way to drive home the idea that the husband is the high priest of his home. A woman goes to God through her husband. :vomit:

I am 99.99999999% sure that's exactly the point.

[IceQueen]

At my parents Catholic church the whole family makes a semi circle kind of arrangement around the priest when its their turn in line (everyone lines us like in a normal Catholic church) and he gives the family their communion cracker together, but only he touches it and its not in any special order. I've never seen it done like that before, my parents think its nice and I guess it is.

[emmiedahl]

In Catholic churches, the priest goes personally to the people who cannot make it to the front. They also will visit hospital rooms, etc. There are specific eucharistic ministers who are trained laypeople, they can give communion after it has been blessed, but you can't take it from just anyone. I go to Catholic churches a lot although I am not Catholic, so maybe I am interpreting this wrong, but my impression was that the priest calls down God onto the altar and God does something to make the wafers/wine the actual body and blood of Christ (transubstantiation) in spirit, so you need the priest to be the one handling it.

These aren't Catholics, though, so who knows what they are thinking. I have been in Protestant churches a handful of times and was always either scared or confused.

[aelar]

This is the kind of sexist religious practice that brings me to tears. The point of religion for me is to help us be better people, to encourage us to be stronger, kinder, more ambitious, whatever we need to be happier and more successful. Basically, religion is a tool of empowerment.

This sort of bullshit is just the opposite of that and it breaks my heart. People using ritual for evil, basically, I truly think this sort of thing is evil. I don't believe in a god, but if I did, I would just be crushed to realize that my salvation, my oneness with god, was conditional and required my husband's intercession. It's my biggest issue with the Mormon faith. Any religious practice that actively places women not just inferior in her relationships with men, but also in her relationship with God, just strikes me as horridly wrong.

For a religious studies class I visited a mosque and observed a service there. It was laid out in a fairly traditional way, with men and women segregated, men in the front of the hall, women in back, separated by a one-way mirror. All the men crowded as close to the front as possible, (there were diagonal stripes on the ground serving the same function as pews in a church) to be as far east, and as close to Mecca as they could. Most of the women did the same, but because of the layout, no women could ever be as close to Mecca as any of the men. Maybe it's stupid, but watching this, I ended up crying in a corner, because it was just so sad.

I have that same wretched feeling right now. I had no idea there were Protestant churches that encouraged this sort of blatantly misogynist practice, outside of isolated cults.

[ADoyle90815]

This sexist idea is why I could never be part of a church that considered me a second class citizen because of my gender. It's just like in Mormonism where only males can be priests, and that a woman is only saved if her husband bothers to call her at the resurrection by the name she was given in the temple.

[maybeizfundie]

Huh. Never seen it. I would guess where it's deliberately practiced it is related to the concept of headship and husband being "priest" of the household.

My husband has grabbed the cup and bread for me a time or two. :D Meant nothing symbolically. I just happened to be the one holding a wiggly baby at the time and he knew the stuff would get batted out of my hands while we were waiting for everyone to finish taking theirs.

[nutella addict]

Definitely sacred in the (or at least my) Lutheran church too - Pastor with the help of a vicar or deacon hands it out at the altar to one person at a time, then the Pastor will take it to anyone who can't make it to the altar themselves. I've never seen any husband take it for his wife - nor have I met a submissive wife at my church. There is something inherently wrong with taking Communion for your wife as though she can't herself and I also have that same problem with Mormons.There are so many strong and independent women in the Bible who play big roles in their stories - why do these nutters insist on weakening them in every possible way?