Working Mothers = Babies Dying

[Ridiculous]

http:// ccostello.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-speed-limit-of-life.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DomesticFelicity+%28Domestic+Felicity%29

She writes about the recent spat of babies and young children being forgotten in cars and dying of the heat. This is, of course, tragic, but her conclusion is maddening. She apparently believes that a home in which both parents work is so inherently hectic that of course they will forget their children. If only women would stay home with their babies, this would never, ever happen!

[micatite]

Because it could never happen that stay-at-home mom (or dad) took the kid somewhere, like the grocery store, and, in the shuffle of dealing with the bags in the trunk or whatever upon returning home, forgot sleeping kid was in the car...right? We all have nannies on call to watch our little bundle for us while we run our errands...or servants to do those errands for us instead. Suuuuure we do.

Seriously, how many of us have forgotten a bag of something perishable in our cars after a standard trip like that? Melted our ice cream or had our milk or meat go bad before we remembered they were there? I don't think stay-at-home parents of either sex are immune to memory lapses. You just pray that when/if something like that happens it's nothing more than the rocky road or the rump roast that dies in the back seat instead of a child. There for the grace of God...

[Jinger Jar]

http:// ccostello.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-speed-limit-of-life.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DomesticFelicity+%28Domestic+Felicity%29

She writes about the recent spat of babies and young children being forgotten in cars and dying of the heat. This is, of course, tragic, but her conclusion is maddening. She apparently believes that a home in which both parents work is so inherently hectic that of course they will forget their children. If only women would stay home with their babies, this would never, ever happen!

Last month in my community a family was bringing mom and their new baby home from the hospital. It had been a c-section birth, mom was exhausted, and she went to bed as soon as they got home. In the excitement and general kerfuffle, dad and his in-laws forgot about the sleeping 18-month-old in the minivan until almost an hour after they got home. Sadly, the toddler died from heat stroke.

The letters to the editor in the days after were maddening and sickening. They had two general themes:

* If mom hadn't had a c-section, should would have been more alert and energetic and would have realized one of her kids hadn't been brought into the house with everyone else.

*Why did this couple get pregnant a mere nine months after they'd had a baby? And this was their sixth kid? See, this is what happens when people breed like rabbits.

:angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead:

[Daisy4]

I recently returned to work after the birth of my daughter, if anything, I feel less stressed out and more at ease while working. The 8 hours at work are a significant change of pace from being at home, and even though my job is stressful, its a different type of stress than caring for a newborn. When I get home at night, I'm way more attentive to her.

(Not trying to say that working Moms are more attentive, this has just been my experience in the past few weeks. I'm actually planning on leaving my job to stay home with her)

[Hane]

Something similar nearly happened to a colleague of mine. Her husband usually drove their daughter to the sitter's, but couldn't one morning, so she buckled the baby into the carseat in her own car. She pulled into the parking lot at our office, and, as she was getting out of the car, she heard a little voice pipe up from the back seat, "Mommy, where we are?"

If it weren't for that, another accidental tragedy could have occurred.

[Miss M]

I left my purse in the buggy in the grocery store parking lot once, it was two hours before I realized it! Probably, I could have easily done the same thing with a child asleep in the back seat, who knows, maybe this is why I don't have kids!

[fundiefan]

How did I ever live 40 plus years with a working mom? How did she not kill me before now? How are my nieces, nephews, godsons and cousins all still alive? Surely some god totally wants my feminist family to survive and thrive since he hasn't allowed any of these awful working moms to forget her kid in the car.

[snarkykitty]

http:// ccostello.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-speed-limit-of-life.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+DomesticFelicity+%28Domestic+Felicity%29

She writes about the recent spat of babies and young children being forgotten in cars and dying of the heat. This is, of course, tragic, but her conclusion is maddening. She apparently believes that a home in which both parents work is so inherently hectic that of course they will forget their children. If only women would stay home with their babies, this would never, ever happen!

AAACK!! If you want to break links, please don't add spaces or words that I have to delete or change. There is an addiional space after the "//" part of the URL that my tired eyes took too long to notice.

Sorry, having a tough day and the smaller things are making me punchy. :pull-hair:

Thank you in advance and disregard my afternoon manic panic attack.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Here's the best article on Forgotten Baby Syndrome that I've read (and be warned, it's heartbreaking):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

The key to prevention is in recognizing that yes, we are perfectly capable of doing this, even if we are the most perfect parents. It's a failure of memory, not a failure of love or care. It is only by recognizing that yes, our memories can fail, that we can ACTIVELY take steps to change our habits and ensure that it won't happen, by doing things like always checking the back seat each and every time that we leave a car.

[Arete]

What kind of a worthless piece of shit do you have to be to use tragedies like these to try and further your political agenda?

[latraviata]

What kind of a worthless piece of shit do you have to be to use tragedies like these to try and further your political agenda?

It is Zsu Anderson's speciality. Remember the pictures of her children at the breakfast 'table' while children were killed in a public school??

[LadyBlue]

Here's the best article on Forgotten Baby Syndrome that I've read (and be warned, it's heartbreaking):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

The key to prevention is in recognizing that yes, we are perfectly capable of doing this, even if we are the most perfect parents. It's a failure of memory, not a failure of love or care. It is only by recognizing that yes, our memories can fail, that we can ACTIVELY take steps to change our habits and ensure that it won't happen, by doing things like always checking the back seat each and every time that we leave a car.

I post that article at least a couple times every summer. The brief mention of one of the father's haunts me, I can't imagine how he lives with it.

I think leaving your purse in the back/diaper bag in the front & other reminders that the baby is with you are more effective, personally. I don't know about you,but I quite often end up suddenly questioning if I'd done something that I habitually do; because habits tend to be more auto-pilot. Sometimes I have, sometimes I haven't, but I'd rather do something more immediate as a reminder than relying on habit.

And I really wish people weren't so terrified of getting sued that devices which would save lives like rear seat monitors can't even get produced.

[DaffyDill]

We had a few cases of mothers intentionally leaving their very young children in cars, on hot Australian summer days, to go and play the Poker Machines in local pubs/clubs. As this occurred during the day, one would presume these parents were not neccessarily working parents.

Intentionally. :shock: I just can't ...

Sometimes, bad parents are just bad parents, whether they are employed outside the home or not isn't relevant.

[tanksmom]

What so many fail to realize or refuse to accept is that most of our life is lived on autopilot. It doesn't matter if you are a stay at home parent or a working parent. Mistakes happen and they can have tragic results. The best thing is to figure out how a mistake can be avoided in the future (leave a personal item next to where you would have a child, have an alarm, etc) and not blame it on one behaviour.

[GiGi_41]

I wore my babies specifically because I worried about setting them down and walking out. When they were little I would put my purse in the back seat because I always take my purse out of the car (a habit). Kind of hard to miss the kids in the backseat!

[GiGi_41]

Here's the best article on Forgotten Baby Syndrome that I've read (and be warned, it's heartbreaking):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

The key to prevention is in recognizing that yes, we are perfectly capable of doing this, even if we are the most perfect parents. It's a failure of memory, not a failure of love or care. It is only by recognizing that yes, our memories can fail, that we can ACTIVELY take steps to change our habits and ensure that it won't happen, by doing things like always checking the back seat each and every time that we leave a car.

This was very sad article.

[August]

Here's the best article on Forgotten Baby Syndrome that I've read (and be warned, it's heartbreaking):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

The key to prevention is in recognizing that yes, we are perfectly capable of doing this, even if we are the most perfect parents. It's a failure of memory, not a failure of love or care. It is only by recognizing that yes, our memories can fail, that we can ACTIVELY take steps to change our habits and ensure that it won't happen, by doing things like always checking the back seat each and every time that we leave a car.

Quoting just to make sure more people read it.

[BriMamai]

I sobbed my way thru that article. I cannot imagine the pain those parents go through. Anyone who thinks they are above making a mistake like that is crazy and judgmental. No one is perfect and these poor parents just happened to make a mistake at the worst possible moment.

[canbritam]

The little boy that died outside of Toronto last month was left in the car by his grandmother. So what's her explanation when it's not a parent that does it? By her logic I should have accidentally killed my children long ago.

[lizziesmom]

So many of the fundies out there blogging should read and reread this verse daily:

Matthew 7:1-5

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

[JesusFightClub]

This is absolutely tragic and I don't believe they deliberately left their kids to boil alive (which is the only other option). Not only would that be criminally wrong and unlikely, it wouldn't make much sense from a practical point of view. If you really wanted rid of a child, then this would possibly be the worst ever way to do it.

It draws a lot of attention to yourself and very unwelcome attention, too. Most people, if they can't take care of a child for whatever reason, are very willing to find other options (family care, adoption, etc). Leaving a kid to die in heat would suck as a means of not dealing with the child or its issues any more.

I think it's just a complete tragedy - because the parent was distracted out of the normal routine, they failed to take proper care of the child.

[frumper-rump]

This just happened to a couple here in Alabama. I will admit, I was extremely judgmental with my "never would that happen to me's". They had trouble conceiving and tried for years, finally having their little girl. I bawled my eyes out after reading the article linked below. Their baby girl is just a bit younger than my little one.

http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2013/07/mot ... ocked.html

[Kailash]

Here's the best article on Forgotten Baby Syndrome that I've read (and be warned, it's heartbreaking):

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9030602446

The key to prevention is in recognizing that yes, we are perfectly capable of doing this, even if we are the most perfect parents. It's a failure of memory, not a failure of love or care. It is only by recognizing that yes, our memories can fail, that we can ACTIVELY take steps to change our habits and ensure that it won't happen, by doing things like always checking the back seat each and every time that we leave a car.

I am so thankful to that article. Before I read it I was another who said "That would never happen to me." Now I realize it could have easily happened to me. I feel terrible for any parent of a child who passes away, but feeling that the death was preventable and feeling responsible is a horrible thing to have to live with.

[Miggy]

My first thought: Didn't the Duggars loose a child (Jackson?) at an airport and only notice when an announcement was made? He didn't die but he was still forgotten.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, they did. And Michelle Duggar is like the queen of Quiverfull. Im surprised she hasnt forgotten a kid more often, with all those children and so many people responsible for them, it would be so easy for her to miss a kid when unloading them from the bus, or lose track of which older kid is looking after which younger kid. They could have Michelle thinking Josie is with Jana, who thinks she is with Jill as she gave her to Jill while she went to the bathroom, but Jill gave her to Jessa who left James to watch her as she spotted Jordyn dangling off the very edge of the balcony, but James went off to go and play with Jason and so on...