Don't be afraid to tell your DAUGHTER she's fat!

[Koala]

Because men don't like fat women!

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/dealing-with-daughters-weight.html#idc-container

As our daughters got older, if we thought they were gaining weight, we would talk to them about it. I know this is supposedly a "taboo" subject but we felt no subject was "taboo" with our children. If we saw any sin in their lives, we would talk to them about it.

Notice Lori singles her daughters out here. Nice.

Most men do like women who are in shape. Not necessarily thin but in shape and healthy.

Because it's all about what men like.

Comment:

I have three super-skinny kids, and our last, a girl age 7, is built shorter, stockier and heavier. Over the past couple of years she started gradually gaining weight, especially in her stomach. She has always had gassy issues and her pediatrician would tell me how her stomach was distended because of it. This past year, though, i really noticed her gaining weight around her neck and in her face. That's when I decided I had to take action.

I knew that it was not HER job to control her weight, but mine as her mom. I knew that my job was to teach her early how to make good choices in her diet and physical activity. I don't feel like discussing weight gain as a problem is wrong. It is a problem. I wanted my daughter to know that we were going to figure out what foods her body responded to the best, because we are all different and have different needs.

I read the book Ending the Food Fight by David Ludwig. It was excellent! It made sense to me so I started implementing it's ideas. We because strict about her eating all five food groups, eating higher proteins, lower carbs, less starches, more vegetables, concentrating on lower glycemic foods. Thankfully we have never been a family that drinks much other than water, milk, and the occasional juice, so this wasn't a battle I had to fight. I took out all pre-packaged snacks and started making homemade cookies, muffins, etc., with a healthy spin on it. We realized that she also had some lactose intolerance and irritable bowel syndrome, so factored that into her diet.

Now that it is summer her physical activity is a lot more, which helps a lot. She loves to ride her scooter, swim, and his playing softball.

Recently I started reading the book Trim Healthy Mama. I was thrilled to see that it follows the same premise as Ending the Food Fight, so it's a diet we are all on as a family.

I am proud to say that my daughter's weight is now under control and she is feeling and looking so much better! She shows me her tummy all the time and says, "Look how healthy my tummy looks." She is still a bigger girl, still shorter, still stockier, still heavier. And she always will be, more than likely, but she now knows how to make healthy food choices and knows what too many carbs and sugars does to her body.

Education is key. And honesty, in my humble opinion.

It's worth noting that this isn't Lori's first post on weight:

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2012/04/children-overeating-off-limits.html

Note that she also singles daughters out in this post:

I know it was hard for our girls if we ever brought it up to them but isn't it hard when anyone brings up any issue in your life that may be a bad habit or sin?

Even odder? The lady that made the above quoted comment made this one on Lori's earlier post:

My littlest girl is not built like the other kids. They were all three stick thin by about age 6, and still are. She is 6 right now, and stockier and thicker than the other three. She has a pretty pudgy belly, a wide upper body, and is also muscular. When you pick her up she feels like a bag of bricks. During the winter months, she puts on weight because of a decrease in activity. It is obvious that she LOVES carbs (like her mama). Instead of stressing about her weight, we have decided to start NOW teaching her healthy eating and exercise habits. We discuss healthy choices every single day, and I have started teaching her about healthy balances, and about watching her sugars and carbs because she obviously craves them. She seems that she will be someone who just always needs to be conscious about her choices.

I know that even with talking about "healthy choices", she still seems to stress about her "weight" and what she is eating. We make a point to tell her that she is supposed to take care of the body God gave her by making healthy choices. But however her body looks whenever she has done her best at those things is PERFECT with us.

I just want my children to work at excelling, not being perfect.

6 years old and stressing about weight.

[lizziesmom]

Sad to say this isn't limited to Lori. Way too much emphasis in the US on thin GIRLS.

[starfish]

I can't believe she calls it a "sin". Are folks with a high metabolism naturally saints?

[Koala]

Sad to say this isn't limited to Lori. Way too much emphasis in the US on thin GIRLS.

Amen

[mrs]

I have a feeling Lori's mother probably made the same type of comments to her growing up. I feel sad for her daughter.

My mother and grandmother both focus on thin being pretty. It's something I struggle with personally and hope not to pass on to my children(if I have children).

[ILoveJellybeans]

Its not a sin to be a bit overweight :( Those poor girls-shouldnt be worrying about weight at such a young age :( I dont think its okay to say your child is fat, because its setting them up for eating disorders in the future. I think at that age, if concerned about your kids health, it would be better to just decide to do things as a family, like decide that as a family they are going to start eating healthy and start cooking healthier meals and not buying junk food as often, and encourage the kids to be physically active as a fun thing to do as a family, and dont single out that theyre doing it because one of the kids is fat.

[flyawaystray]

Didn't MckMama imply that Maisie was chunky or something?

I agree, girls don't need to be preoccupied with their weight from a young age. And as long as your weight isn't affecting your health, then what's the problem? if the worst thing someone can call me is fat or ugly, I consider that a compliment.

On the other hand, I do think children need to learn good eating habits. I was a picky eater and gained weight in my early 20's because I still retained bad habits. I was used to eating as much as I wanted, because I always had an issue gaining weight. But as I got a little older, I slowly started gaining weight. I changed my eating habits and I don't have a problem anymore.

[Boogalou]

What's with the book Trim Healthy Mamma?? Anyone know if there are fundie connections with that book because ZsuZsu is reading it as well. Is it popular overall or just in fundie circles?

[GeoBQn]

The author of Trim Health Mama, Serene Allison, is a daughter of Nancy Campbell, who puts out the magazine Above Rubies and is a big fixture in some fundy circles.

[meep]

What's with the book Trim Healthy Mamma?? Anyone know if there are fundie connections with that book because ZsuZsu is reading it as well. Is it popular overall or just in fundie circles?

I *think* there are. The book's publisher also published books entitled, "Love Your Husband, Love Yourself: Embracing God's Purpose For Passion In Marriage" and "How To Encourage Your Husband".

[frumper-rump]

I can't believe she calls it a "sin". Are folks with a high metabolism naturally saints?

I know I feel particularly saintly when I my chronic health condition is flaring and I lose lots of weight suddenly...and hair. But who really cares as long as I'm SKINNY??!!11!!!

[GeoBQn]

When I took a class on the history of evangelical Christianity in America, there was an entire class devoted to views on the body, including diets. There's a tradition of certain brands of Christianity viewing dieting as a way of disciplining an earthly, sinful body. I think my favorite title for Christian dieting was "More of Jesus, Less of Me." There was also the Weigh Down Diet, which was very popular until the creator started forming her own cult.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

When I took a class on the history of evangelical Christianity in America, there was an entire class devoted to views on the body, including diets. There's a tradition of certain brands of Christianity viewing dieting as a way of disciplining an earthly, sinful body. I think my favorite title for Christian dieting was "More of Jesus, Less of Me." There was also the Weigh Down Diet, which was very popular until the creator started forming her own cult.

Did you read Caroline Walker Bynum's Holy Feast, Holy Fast? Great bk on the subject.

[Hane]

I'm a fat woman who wound up with a skinny kid. I did it by never, EVER obsessing about weight--mine or hers. I kept healthy snacks in the house, cooked a lot of fresh foods from scratch, and gave her a lot of "You GO, girl!" when she was active.

The only weight-bashing she ever got was from BOYS, who thought that "fat" was the worst thing they could call a girl.

[snuggles911]

I feel so sorry for the commenter's little girl. She'll always be compared to her taller, thinner siblings even if she starves herself.

That was my life growing up. My mom used to describe me as stocky. I've always been shorter than my sisters with a very muscular build though I've never been medically overweight.

It drove my mother nuts. She was forever trying to find me "slimming" outfits. I remember her once making me wear a long skirt with tall boots to "hide my fat legs." Once, we had to dress up in poodle skirts for a school performance and she said something like, "You're lucky you weren't born in the 1950s. The fashions would have made you look so huge."

I do feed my daughters healthy foods and they are all very physically active and slim, but I would never disparage them if they gained some weight as long as it wasn't enough to cause health issues. Lori makes me so mad.

[ems]

Because men don't like fat women!

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/06/dealing-with-daughters-weight.html#idc-container

Gaining weight is not a sin, unless I missed something from my Bible reading.

It seems she really is jumping on the fat-shaming bandwagon, likely due in part to all the MRA stuff she follows.

[lilwriter85]

I feel so sorry for the commenter's little girl. She'll always be compared to her taller, thinner siblings even if she starves herself.

That was my life growing up. My mom used to describe me as stocky. I've always been shorter than my sisters with a very muscular build though I've never been medically overweight.

It drove my mother nuts. She was forever trying to find me "slimming" outfits. I remember her once making me wear a long skirt with tall boots to "hide my fat legs." Once, we had to dress up in poodle skirts for a school performance and she said something like, "You're lucky you weren't born in the 1950s. The fashions would have made you look so huge."

I do feed my daughters healthy foods and they are all very physically active and slim, but I would never disparage them if they gained some weight as long as it wasn't enough to cause health issues. Lori makes me so mad.

I don't have kids, but I agree with your take and attitude. Lori Alexander the monster also pisses me off.

[Meeka]

In a recent post she linked to her daughter's ballet blog. Her daughter is writing about struggling with her body image. Think it's related?

[lilwriter85]

In a recent post she linked to her daughter's ballet blog. Her daughter is writing about struggling with her body image. Think it's related?

I think it is related. In that video, the daughter and a friend did they seemed to hint at weight issues related to ballet. But I wouldn't be surprised at all if Lori gave her daughter crap about her weight.

[Mary C Doates]

I *think* there are. The book's publisher also published books entitled, "Love Your Husband, Love Yourself: Embracing God's Purpose For Passion In Marriage" and "How To Encourage Your Husband".

The two authors are the daughters of Nancy Campbell, the editor of Above Rubies and a leader in the Quiverfull movement (as well as encouraging fundies to adopt from Africa, especially Liberia). Both daughters are Quiverful as well. Old-school fundie royalty. Not at all surprised this cookbook (which also apparently includes lifestyle tips for the submissive helpmeet) is popular with Zsu, Lori and many of our favourite fundie bloggers.

[Boogalou]

I *think* there are. The book's publisher also published books entitled, "Love Your Husband, Love Yourself: Embracing God's Purpose For Passion In Marriage" and "How To Encourage Your Husband".

The author of Trim Health Mama, Serene Allison, is a daughter of Nancy Campbell, who puts out the magazine Above Rubies and is a big fixture in some fundy circles.

Well, that explains it. I guess these people can't just read a normal diet book, it has to be "Godly" too. That poor little girl.

ETA: not that I am really for regular diet books, especially for little kids, but they might be marginally not as harmful. Might.

[Cannelle]

I can't believe she calls it a "sin". Are folks with a high metabolism naturally saints?

I'm about ten (okay, sometimes twelve) pounds underweight for my height (and I got yelled at at my last doctor's appointment, but what the fuck do they know about health, because JESUS and FUNDIES). I must be extra holy!

Lori Alexander is a monster.

[AmyP]

I don't have kids, but I agree with your take and attitude. Lori Alexander the monster also pisses me off.

I have the same situation. One fast metabolism girl and one slow/normal metabolism girl. They are three years apart, and now my second grader is wearing the same clothing size as my sixth grader. It's tough to handle. Girls compare, even at young ages.

[Syd+Marky]

My girl developed a weight issue in about second grade.She had aways been big for her age in height and bone structure(she was 7 lbs,born 4 wks early), and always wore clothes about 2 sizes larger than average.There were alot of girls that were chubbier than her in early grade school, so we just fed her healthy and didn't worry too much.

When she turned 12 her weight seemed to sky rocket overnight.We took her to a Dr. who did some blood work and found out there was problem with her thyroid.About a year after starting treatment she had lost 35lbs and grew about 6 inches.Now she's almost 6 ft tall, at age 16, and weighs around 135lbs(pretty thin, IMO).I am just so glad that noone crushed her spirit by telling her she was "fat", because she's always had good self-esteem.It's really sad for a girl to be badgered about her weight, and compared to her sisters by her own mom over something she can't control.Most kids with weight issues(to my understanding)have an underlying issue, like genetics or a medical problem.Telling the kid they're fat will likely give them emotional problems, too.

[acheronbeach]

Lori Alexander is the LAST person who should be criticising others about their appearance. Skinny does not equal objectively beautiful, especially in her case.