Handy courtship tips

[browngrl]

Handy tips for courtship brought to you courtesy of http://idiotsguidetocourtshipDOTblogspotDOTcom/

Here's a sample about the "physical aspect" of courtship:

"1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think.

2). You shouldn't just do what seems easiest, but what is right. Yeah... it probably is easier to just share a cup. Less dishes, right? But you have to think. Do I really want to go that far, that quick?

3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.

Make your standards first, make them your own and hold to them. That's how you'll weather the storms in this chip bag saturated world."

I personally could not court someone who took my chips (the chips are mine,mine, mine) :D

[Koala]

:clap: Awesome!

[emeraldskull]

Handy tips for courtship brought to you courtesy of http://idiotsguidetocourtshipDOTblogspotDOTcom/

Here's a sample about the "physical aspect" of courtship:

"1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think.

2). You shouldn't just do what seems easiest, but what is right. Yeah... it probably is easier to just share a cup. Less dishes, right? But you have to think. Do I really want to go that far, that quick?

3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.

Make your standards first, make them your own and hold to them. That's how you'll weather the storms in this chip bag saturated world."

I personally could not court someone who took my chips (the chips are mine,mine, mine) :D

Is this a parody? :shock:

I really cannot believe some people put these kind of rules on themselves.

[maybeizfundie]

*giggle*

That site is hilarious. :lol:

[maybeizfundie]

Is this a parody?

I'm about 99% sure it's parody. :)

[demgirl]

I thought it was a parody too. Now, I think it's serious, but that normally she throws in some jokes that make it sound like it might be a parody, but really, it isn't.

And this is why I think that:

Destroying the Heart of Flirtatiousness

All fun and games aside, there is one important topic that I feel so strongly about that I can't discuss it in a sarcastic manner, as is so typical on this blog. This is the heart of flirtatiousness.

While flirtatiousness can take on many forms and titles, in essence it's stealing a gift that God hasn't given you.

For all intents and purposes, flirtatiousness is to lead on by your actions and words what you can not righteously fulfill. Quite bluntly, it is possible to play the dating game under the name of "saving your heart", and while never in a relationship with any of those individuals you are still giving your heart to them and taking from them what was never meant to be yours. I'm not going to go any further in defining it because I feel like God writes His commandments on our hearts and it's not necessary for me to make a list of rules.

But what can we do to destroy the spirit of flirtatiousness? While this is gravely incomplete, I have to ideas.

1. As a young lady it is my desire to build up my brothers in Christ. This is the exact opposite of flirtatiousness and sows the seeds of Christ's love in the lives of others. Think about it, you were placed in this young man's life for a purpose... you have the power to build him up or destroy him... will you choose to selfishly seek your own desires? I'm guessing that this can work the other way around for any guys that may come across this.

2. Don't set a standard of preference that your spouse can't live up to. Although this is a perhaps unproven theory, when you show preference (outside of seeking to know God's will but rather for selfish desires) I feel that that sets a standard of your preference which your spouse may never be able to live up to. How this plays out is, he liked her and I can never be as ________ (fill in the blank: skinny as, pretty as, witty as, smart as) her. This does not mean that you can never like anybody till you court and marry but rather that we should not selfishly show preference just because it feels good at the moment.

One of my favorite movie quotes was, "Then cherish her and become the man that she deserves." None of us are perfect, I know that I definitely am not... but we can still begin to cherish our spouse (whether we have an inkling of who that may be or not) and start becoming the person that they deserve.

[CanadianHippie]

"1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think."

This one of the main reasons I don't like sharing chips. I don't wanna eat another persons gross hand oils, or anything else you might find on their hands.

[Deleted03]

oh thank you for that! this is so hilarious!!!

[fundiefan]

Handy tips for courtship brought to you courtesy of http://idiotsguidetocourtshipDOTblogspotDOTcom/

Here's a sample about the "physical aspect" of courtship:

"1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think.

2). You shouldn't just do what seems easiest, but what is right. Yeah... it probably is easier to just share a cup. Less dishes, right? But you have to think. Do I really want to go that far, that quick?

3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.

Make your standards first, make them your own and hold to them. That's how you'll weather the storms in this chip bag saturated world."

I personally could not court someone who took my chips (the chips are mine,mine, mine) :D

That's assuming they even share a bag of chips. One, it's wasteful junk food and could bring enjoyment and take the focus off their god. Two, how can they get close enough to both put their hand in the same bag in the first place? Three, don't they have to share it with their chaperons, thus mingling all their oils with even more than just one other person? And, what if the boy likes the oils of the chaperon's hand better than those of the one he is courting? Recipe for disaster there as he splits his heart and questions his god.

Best option - no chips.

[browngrl]

and what to think about a suitor that "double dips" !! :shock:

[Sunnichick31]

and what to think about a suitor that "double dips" !! :shock:

Double dipping is almost like having sex therefore it's of the debil and should be avoided. Break up with any suitor who double dips! You never know who else he/she may have doubled dipped with.

:lol:

(wow trying to think like a fundie makes me feel like I lost IQ points. LOL)

[doggie]

would not hand sex in the chip bag smash all the chips?

how can anyone follow all these rules and actually get to know anyone?

[DamnPrecious]

Are there any blogs geared towards men? We see girls going on and on and on, but I have yet to see a man do this other than the questionnaires.

[moreorlessnu]

3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.

I call dibs on all the curly, folded together chips. They tend to be crunchier. Mine!

Toodles! Back to radiating purity...

[Koala]

I call dibs on all the curly, folded together chips. They tend to be crunchier. Mine!

Toodles! Back to radiating purity...

Those are absolutely the best!

[slh12280]

Oh was that real? I couldn't tell. Ahh what is happening to my abilities to tell the real stuff from the parodies??? :doh:

[browngrl]

I call dibs on all the curly, folded together chips. They tend to be crunchier. Mine!

Toodles! Back to radiating purity...

I think this blog is serious because I found it from a link on a fundie blog and I am serious when I say - all the folded up chips are mine - get your hand oils off of them.

[thoughtful]

would not hand sex in the chip bag smash all the chips?

Then you use the crumbs as topping on a cream-soup-based casserole.

[thoughtful]

Oh was that real? I couldn't tell. Ahh what is happening to my abilities to tell the real stuff from the parodies??? :doh:

You are normal. You are simply experiencing the effects of Poe's Law.

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe%27s_Law

[forever ago]

I'm 100% positive this is a parody. Most of the posts are so unbelievable I wouldn't be surprised if this is a troll. It's an excellent troll in that there is some legit fundamentalese in there.