Judge says lesbian mom’s partner must go

[Alana Rickman]

It standard practice here in Georgia as well. They theory behind it more towards alimony issues. If someone is paying alimony to their former spouse that terminated upon them remarrying. Of course, some people "shacked up" but didnt marry to keep the revenue stream, thus these clauses. It has nothing to do with same sex anything. If two adults are living together then the former spouse shouldnt be paying the mortgage.

That may be the reason why it's standard practice in Georgia, but it doesn't apply to Texas. It is damn near impossible to get alimony in Texas. You either have to prove (a) that you have no job skills and you are not capable of learning any job skills or (b) that you are the primary caregiver for a severely disabled child, to the extent that you can't go out and get a job.

[lilith]

Trust me, she earns it. I in no way excuse him, but she is a mid-life crisis in a skirt. And if my son and I catch you with what was my husband at the time and you have no shame... It's a long story. She knows what she got though. That's why she doesn't leave him unsupervised. Because when she does, he tries to talk to me again, not that I would have it. Don't judge my description of her without knowing my story.

ETA unless, of course, you have no problems with having sex with a married man, in which case you have your own issues that you will need to address with Karma.

I understand that you're hurt, but the only other person who was responsible to you and for the health of your marriage was your ex husband. And I say that as the ex wife of a man who cheated a lot, including when I was in hospital after giving birth.

Unless it is in front of him or includes abuse of some kind, a person's sexual history isn't a marker of their fitness to be around your son, especially if this woman is in a committed relationship with his father.

[Maia68]

We can agree to disagree. As a person who is currently single, I would find it amoral to have sex with a married person. Just because I am not currently married does not give me free rain to have sex with all of the married men that I know, no matter how hot I find them(and I do know some hot married men). I will place the majority of the responsibility for good behavior on my married friends rather than my horny, divorced self, but the woman involved had some accountability too. You don'tknow her, you don't know him; you can let her be a moral role model for your children, but you cannot decide what role she should take in my child's life.

[VaSportsMom]

My best friend's divorce was recently finalized and their decree includes a similar clause. Her ex has serious alcohol problems so she also requested a clause stating that neither could drink or be impaired while the children were in the home. Their divorce was finalized on a Fri and the father had the children that weekend so my friend and the guy she is dating (she had been separated 17 months before they started dating 5 months ago) went out for dinner and he stayed over. Her ex heard from someone at the restaurant that she was there so about 2am he loaded the kids up, drove to her house and upon seeing the bf's vehicle there he knocked on the door and told her the kids were crying for her (her 14o denies this & says all 3 of them were sleeping when their dad woke them). He then walked back across the road to his car and called the police to document her not being in compliance with the court order. LE actually arrested him for being drunk but he pushed the contempt charge and the judge actually found her guilty.

[nelliebelle1197]

It standard practice here in Georgia as well. They theory behind it more towards alimony issues. If someone is paying alimony to their former spouse that terminated upon them remarrying. Of course, some people "shacked up" but didnt marry to keep the revenue stream, thus these clauses. It has nothing to do with same sex anything. If two adults are living together then the former spouse shouldnt be paying the mortgage.

We do a lot of family law in Georgia and I have never heard of that being standard practice. Alimony is less and less common, and is not a broad remedy. In fact it was not even codified in GA until 1980 and its application is limited. It is very rare that it would be a lifetime award anyway - it would mosy likely be a lump sum or a temporary order so that the party can reestablish a career.

Texas is a father's rights state and "joint conservatorship" - as shared custody is called there - has been awarded to convicted ABUSERS- the theory is that if the husband only beats the wife, not the kids, then the abuse is not relevant. No lie. I have heard horror stories from lawyers and DV advocates in TX.

[Rescinded and Mended]

I understand that you're hurt, but the only other person who was responsible to you and for the health of your marriage was your ex husband. And I say that as the ex wife of a man who cheated a lot, including when I was in hospital after giving birth.

Unless it is in front of him or includes abuse of some kind, a person's sexual history isn't a marker of their fitness to be around your son, especially if this woman is in a committed relationship with his father.

No, but depending on the father's history and behavior with women, it might be a solid reason for using the courts to discourage overnight guests.

I've never been on the receiving (or giving) end of infidelity in my marriage, but I can personally guarantee you that if my husband and I did split, and he immediately moved a strange woman into the same residence where our child was residing, you can bet I'd be taking legal steps to do everything I could to prevent that from happening. How do we know this girlfriend is Ms. Right as opposed to Ms. Right Now? What if he's dragging a different woman into his home every week? As a mother, this would be extremely problematic for me because it could put my child at risk. People will often begin sexual relationships and live together without knowing their partners that well. I'm not a fan of allowing strangers to stay in my home, especially where small children are involved. Just because this woman happens to be sleeping with the father at the moment doesn't mean that she couldn't be a threat to the child.

(And Lilith, I did see where you mentioned abuse being an issue - my concern centers mainly around if he knows the woman well before they set up housekeeping, level of trustworthiness, and stranger danger. I also concede I do not know all the details)

[lilith]

No, but depending on the father's history and behavior with women, it might be a solid reason for using the courts to discourage overnight guests.

I've never been on the receiving (or giving) end of infidelity in my marriage, but I can personally guarantee you that if my husband and I did split, and he immediately moved a strange woman into the same residence where our child was residing, you can bet I'd be taking legal steps to do everything I could to prevent that from happening. How do we know this girlfriend is Ms. Right as opposed to Ms. Right Now? What if he's dragging a different woman into his home every week? As a mother, this would be extremely problematic for me because it could put my child at risk. People will often begin sexual relationships and live together without knowing their partners that well. I'm not a fan of allowing strangers to stay in my home, especially where small children are involved. Just because this woman happens to be sleeping with the father at the moment doesn't mean that she couldn't be a threat to the child.

(And Lilith, I did see where you mentioned abuse being an issue - my concern centers mainly around if he knows the woman well before they set up housekeeping, level of trustworthiness, and stranger danger. I also concede I do not know all the details)

Oh, I totally understand that, I just don't think that her sexual history (especially based on the fact that the had sex with a married man) should be the basis of judging her fitness at a step parent. There are far more important criteria than her sexual history.

[LadyBlue]

This is very close to what I'm dealing with currently. I live almost as far east as is possible from Texas while still living in the US, btw.

I edited to add that we have not been forced apart, she left me. My "lifestyle" is the entire reason my mother was able to take temporary custody of the boys when we separated. That was March 3, as of now she still has not allowed me to see them.

I'm really sorry. I hope you get your kids back soon.

Your mother sounds like she has issues