Jump to content
IGNORED

Virgins until marriage is a topic on AskReddit.


Cannelle

Recommended Posts

I always wondered if it hurt for those Quiverfull girls who wait till their wedding night, but their husbands make them keep going anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There is nothing wrong if a person decides to wait until their wedding night to have sex. However, it should be a real choice. It isn't really a choice if someone believes that they are sinning against a god who can send them to eternal torture or that their goodness as a person depends on not having sex before marriage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

See, this is why I love Free Jinger. I learn so much about sex, pregnancy, and menstruation that I would never ever hear anywhere else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

True, but sometimes (very rarely), this will not help. There are women who can try every natural remedy and still end up with a UTI every day. That needs medical attention but unfortunately, not everyone is diagnosed with a fixable issue. Often times, the doctor will not come to a satisfying diagnose and just tell you to "pee and drink lots of cranberry juice". In those cases, find a doctor who is familiar with the issue. It's basically an overreaction to normal bacteria which won't be stopped by peeing. Either way, there are two options then: A long term antibiotic treatment (which will screw up the pill for you and make you sick and weak after 2 weeks, and it will probably just come back once you stop the treatment) or an immunisation via oral treatment or shots.

I know a woman who went through the antibiotic treatment, she couldn't keep it up for long because they made her sick (couldn't eat, stomache felt inflamed, diarreah etc). After she got the shots, she was fine.

FYI - the shots don't mean you don't have to pee after sex, you will still have an UTI if you don't. The shots lower your overreaction.

Just a heads up in case anybody here has these same issues...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

True, but sometimes (very rarely), this will not help. There are women who can try every natural remedy and still end up with a UTI every day. That needs medical attention but unfortunately, not everyone is diagnosed with a fixable issue. Often times, the doctor will not come to a satisfying diagnose and just tell you to "pee and drink lots of cranberry juice". In those cases, find a doctor who is familiar with the issue. It's basically an overreaction to normal bacteria which won't be stopped by peeing. Either way, there are two options then: A long term antibiotic treatment (which will screw up the pill for you and make you sick and weak after 2 weeks, and it will probably just come back once you stop the treatment) or an immunisation via oral treatment or shots.

I know a woman who went through the antibiotic treatment, she couldn't keep it up for long because they made her sick (couldn't eat, stomache felt inflamed, diarreah etc). After she got the shots, she was fine.

FYI - the shots don't mean you don't have to pee after sex, you will still have an UTI if you don't. The shots lower your overreaction.

Just a heads up in case anybody here has these same issues...

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

Seconded! Best friend is trying for a baby and constant UTIs are not helping with the daily sex (I never expected to get told how boring daily sex is, lol).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've just discovered another world, now... :o

Do you mean the Reddit world? It is a huge time suck but so very awesome!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was talking about the world of "I want to stay virgin unil marriage", but yes, i know the reddit-world and when I go to this site for me it's like tumblr : "Don't work. Don't eat. Stay on this site all day being fascinated (and other feels)".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was interesting how many of the women got UTIs from not knowing they should pee after sex. I think I learned that little nugget of wisdom in "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives" which my sister gave me for my 11th birthday. Knowing is half the battle, after all.

I didn't know that until I got my first UTI right after I started having sex. Of course, my sex education was so vague I didn't actually know what sex was until I had it, so it isn't shocking that I didn't know that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tell me more about those shots, please!!! :worship: What is the primary agent's name, which kind of doctor will provide this etc.

It's called "StroVac" here. I'm not even sure if it's available in the US, it is in some European countries. The product itself is about 150-200 euros for 3 shots plus whatever your doctor charges. Then 1 refreshment shot each year to keep it up (50 euros or so?).

Well, the effect isn't 100%. The company rates it at 70% of the cases will be helped, doctors rate it between 50% and 80% effectiveness. HOWEVER, everyone I heard it from has had an effect, so I do not know about the "unlucky 30%" who have no effect at all. I've heard nothing but positive things. Here what's in it that it helps against: " Escherichia coli 7,5 × 10 Morganella morganii 3,75 × 10 Proteus mirabilis 3,75 × 10 Klebsiella pneumoniae 1,5 × 10 Enterococcus faecalis 2,5 × 10" So basically StroVac will only work if one of these is your major trigger.

It's basically a "very last straw" if nothing helps. Now, the problem is not only the 70% chance, but also the side effects. They are SEVERE for most, which is also why it's not worth it for people who don't suffer badly. Expect 1 week of high fevers, dizziness to fainting, diarreah and throwing up (preferably simultaneously), severe muscle aches and headaches, heat and cold rushes and so on. Basically very terrible flu symptoms. This is after every shot, so you'd be knocked out for 3 weeks.

There's also another medication called "UroVaxom". The internet tells me it is only available in Switzerland, but that can't be because I know people who take it or have taken it in the past. I have no clue where that could be available in the US. It's supposed to be for people who aren't bad enough to go for StroVac right away because supposedly most people don't get any side effects from that.

Either way, if you cannot have a normal life due to UTIs, you should talk to your doc (GYN or something) if there is a way to get a hold of one of those two.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw this on Reddit earlier, and of course I wondered what Freejinger would make of it. I think there's a difference between these people (or at least the ones whose comments I read) and the fundie set, though, and that's that these people didn't necessarily feel that waiting would automatically guarantee great sex the first time. If it wasn't working for someone, they recognized that, did other activities, and tried again later. Regardless of how you feel about "guarding your heart" or whatever you want to call it (do what you want when you want, but that's different for everybody), it's ludicrous to assume that following this one rule guarantees that everything's going to be great from the get-go. That's an extremely dangerous mindset because it gets young people to think that marriage is going to be magical and perfect all the time, and when it's not, the frustration happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't know that until I got my first UTI right after I started having sex. Of course, my sex education was so vague I didn't actually know what sex was until I had it, so it isn't shocking that I didn't know that.

The reason older sis gave me the book was that she knew my parents wouldn't tell me anything about sex, ever. That book taught me, and the friends I showed it to, more than you could ever learn in sex ed. It covered everything from masturbation, to oral sex, to STDs, and abortion. I wasn't a super early bloomer, but when the time came, I was pretty educated. :lol: I imagine when my son reaches puberty, I'll of course actually talk to him, but he'll be getting the latest edition of "Changing Bodies, Changing Lives." :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's called "StroVac" here. I'm not even sure if it's available in the US, it is in some European countries. The product itself is about 150-200 euros for 3 shots plus whatever your doctor charges. Then 1 refreshment shot each year to keep it up (50 euros or so?).

Well, the effect isn't 100%. The company rates it at 70% of the cases will be helped, doctors rate it between 50% and 80% effectiveness. HOWEVER, everyone I heard it from has had an effect, so I do not know about the "unlucky 30%" who have no effect at all. I've heard nothing but positive things. Here what's in it that it helps against: " Escherichia coli 7,5 × 10 Morganella morganii 3,75 × 10 Proteus mirabilis 3,75 × 10 Klebsiella pneumoniae 1,5 × 10 Enterococcus faecalis 2,5 × 10" So basically StroVac will only work if one of these is your major trigger.

It's basically a "very last straw" if nothing helps. Now, the problem is not only the 70% chance, but also the side effects. They are SEVERE for most, which is also why it's not worth it for people who don't suffer badly. Expect 1 week of high fevers, dizziness to fainting, diarreah and throwing up (preferably simultaneously), severe muscle aches and headaches, heat and cold rushes and so on. Basically very terrible flu symptoms. This is after every shot, so you'd be knocked out for 3 weeks.

There's also another medication called "UroVaxom". The internet tells me it is only available in Switzerland, but that can't be because I know people who take it or have taken it in the past. I have no clue where that could be available in the US. It's supposed to be for people who aren't bad enough to go for StroVac right away because supposedly most people don't get any side effects from that.

Either way, if you cannot have a normal life due to UTIs, you should talk to your doc (GYN or something) if there is a way to get a hold of one of those two.

It is not available in the US. There is currently a large study ongoing in Germany which may, if positive, open up discussion in the US. The problem is that the vaccine is whole killed bacteria and can make you very, very sick (as noted above). There are other people working on subunit vaccines and mucosal vaccines (given intranasally or intravaginally) that might have fewer side effects. After reading what little I can about StroVac (most of the literature is in German) I'd hold off for now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was a virgin when I got married at age 20- and it wasn't until my first sexual encounter post divorce (at age 26) that I said to my partner "OMG...that's supposed to feel GOOD!?" He was shocked, but honestly, my sex life while I was married left so much to be desired, I really couldn't fathom what all the "fuss" about sex was- it NEVER felt good, I just didn't understand why people cared so much about sex!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is not available in the US. There is currently a large study ongoing in Germany which may, if positive, open up discussion in the US. The problem is that the vaccine is whole killed bacteria and can make you very, very sick (as noted above). There are other people working on subunit vaccines and mucosal vaccines (given intranasally or intravaginally) that might have fewer side effects. After reading what little I can about StroVac (most of the literature is in German) I'd hold off for now!

Yes, it does make you very sick and doctors advise getting the shots during holidays or something. It's also somewhat discussed here due to the supposedly questionable effectiveness. It's also a self-pay thing, which is rare in a public health care system - that alone proves how doubted it is.

But, as I said, there are women for whom trying it makes sense. Of course not the ones with one UTI a month or even a week, but there are some who suffer on a daily basis, aka, waking up at 4AM with incredible pain, suffering all morning, taking antibiotics daily which isn't much healthier than a difficult vaccine and the follow up painkillers which you need due to constant irritation. Not to mention the effect on relationships - a marriage in which the woman starts to cry of fear when her husband wants to come closer are doomed to fail. I seriously feel for everyone who goes through that, it is a publically underestimated illness, and that sucks because you will be made out as a crybaby, or a faker, or someone who is plain weird. Most men cannot imagine why it's such a big deal (never suffering from UTIs, bah!).

UTIs can really destroy your quality of life to a degree which is comparable to other chronic illnesses. The worst is that the pain multiplies. One UTI a month doesn't hurt nearly as much as the ones you get after a month of daily UTI.

You have to really suffer for a doc to even give it to you, but if you do, it makes sense to go through the illness it brings for 6 weeks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've never gotten a UTI after sex, but then again my mother told me you should pee after sex.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some women will unfortunately get UTI after UTI even if they always pee after sex.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



  • Trending Content

  • Recent Status Updates

    • mango_fandango

      mango_fandango

      It’s not supposed to be mosquito season right now but I still appear to have been bitten twice on the side of my foot. Bastards. I know I shouldn’t scratch but it’s so tempting… 😑
      · 0 replies
    • Therapy Outside the Box

      Therapy Outside the Box

      Hello,
       
      I'm brand new to this forum. It was suggested to me by former and outspoken Remnant Fellowship member (Natasha Pavlovich) that I join this forum and put out here what I do. She also warned me that no one on here trusts, or trusts easily, and that I'd likely be assumed to be a Remnant plant or spy until vetted and verified as not that. Fair enough. 
      In short, and in truth, I'm a psychotherapist with 25 yrs experience in Franklin TN (less than three miles from RF incidentally) with a special interest in working with people formerly associated with cults, cult-like or any and all high control intitutions. I'm especially interested in working with those desiring not only deconstruct, recover and learn to thrive post-indoctrination, but those desiring to recapture or cultivate an authentic sense of theology without walls, or spirituality with borders. 
      To date, I've worked with former Amish, Mennonite, LDS/FLDS, FOG, and a those representing a whole slew of evangelical, fire and brimstone fear/shame/guilt-inducing institutions.
      I am especially interested in working with former Remnant Fellowship and Scientology members. I view RF as basically Scientology without the budget. 
      I'll leave it there. Much more can be gleaned about me through my website: therapyoutsidethebox.com or IG: @ therapyoutsidethebox
       
      Peace,
       
      Chris Hancock, LCSW
      Franklin, TN

      · 3 replies
    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      I have a friend with untreated autism and ADHD. I've tried so fucking hard to help. He refuses. It's a mess. I'm really really tired.
      · 0 replies
    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      Making Jill Duggar's brownie recipe because why not stay up late.
      · 2 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      Party on aisle 15....

      Also no interest if fully paid in so many months.
      · 0 replies
    • WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

      Happy Supper Bowel Sunday!!  No, wait. That isn't right...
      Anyway, enjoy the game (or the half time show, or the ads)!
      And a very happy Sunday to everyone who doesn't care about the NFL! 
      · 0 replies
    • Kiki03910

      Kiki03910

      I'm a huge baseball fan. This year, MLB TV showed Liga Dominicana games in December and January and it was a fucking revelation. The players had so much fire and joy. The announcers with their charming DR accents were a blast, though I could hardly keep up with the Spanish. DItto the Serie del Caribe. As a White Sox fan, the MLB season is going to suffer by comparison. Te amo los Tigres del Licey!
      · 2 replies
    • bea

      bea

      I've just realized how long I've been on FJ.  Holy cow.
      · 0 replies
    • bea

      bea

      Had ankle surgery on the 22nd and am non-weight-bearing until the 7th, and it would great if I could REMEMBER that I'm not weight-bearing until I try to step on my splinted ankle.
      · 2 replies
    • 47of74

      47of74

      lol 

      · 0 replies
  • Recent Blog Entries

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.