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Men Needed For a Hazardous Journey!


twin2

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ATTENTION!

Manly men are needed for a hazardous journey to Alaska!!

35a0nsn.png

So I ask you, fine FJites, what will Dougie and the Hazardous Journey Society equip the young mens with to prepare them to be leaders..........

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My response:

a choo-choo train ride to a charted fishing boat to prove that they are indeed manly mens!

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Doug Phillips is a tool, and someone needs to explain to him the difference between hazardous and luxurious.

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Yeah, imagine if they did some service project as part of this, instead - rebuilding some infrastructure or building houses or that sort of thing.

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They could help with the homeless situation, but that would get in the way of their partner organization's (Anchorage Bible Temple) plans to criminalize being poor.

No, The Tool will be having his very manly men stay in Anchorage only over night, before chartering a flight to a lodge in Lake Clark, where they will be led on guided hikes and guided fishing. Oh and the owners of the lodge are "friends" who (I assume) are Vision Forum people so they keep the money in the family.

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ATTENTION!

Manly men are needed for a hazardous journey to Alaska!!

35a0nsn.png

So I ask you, fine FJites, what will Dougie and the Hazardous Journey Society equip the young mens with to prepare them to be leaders..........

I read Hazardous Journey Society as Hazardous Journey Sodomites...

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I read Hazardous Journey Society as Hazardous Journey Sodomites...

Doug Phillips is a tool needs to change his society's name to something more godly before it puts Satan in anyone else's computer screen pixels.

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Found this about the Alaskan journey. Love the marketing. "And the God who created this immense and beautiful landscape is whispering to your heart to explore His creation." I dare someone to email them and say "God has whispered to my heart that you will let me attend for free."

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Dude. The Hazardous Journeys Society's facebook page has an album titled "Remembering the ultimate hazardous journey." You'd think, with them being a Christian group, that the Ultimate Hazardous Journey would have something to do with God, right? Something from the Bible, probably involving Jesus.

I shit you not, it's the Titanic. Doug Phillips is a tool and he considers the Titanic to be a more important hazardous journey than any of those undertaken in the Bible. Pretty sure we call that idolatry, Doug.

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I've always wanted to visit Alaska. Do you think Doug will let me sign up? Or will he expect me to stay home with the rest of the wimmenz?

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I've always wanted to visit Alaska. Do you think Doug will let me sign up? Or will he expect me to stay home with the rest of the wimmenz?

Perhaps he would be willing to have you serve the manly men THE LORD by preparing and serving sustenance after the hazardous journeys, but you'd probably have to wear a modest but fetching costume. Is there something in the Doug Phillips Is A Tool Historical Couture line that might be appropriate?

Google--don't forget that Doug Phillips is a tool. :music-tool:

*riffle*

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Dude. The Hazardous Journeys Society's facebook page has an album titled "Remembering the ultimate hazardous journey." You'd think, with them being a Christian group, that the Ultimate Hazardous Journey would have something to do with God, right? Something from the Bible, probably involving Jesus.

I shit you not, it's the Titanic. Doug Phillips is a tool and he considers the Titanic to be a more important hazardous journey than any of those undertaken in the Bible. Pretty sure we call that idolatry, Doug.

Considering that the ship was "unsinkable" and was the epitome of luxury (for all those Doug Phillips is a tool would bother dressing up as) I'm not sure how the voyage was a "hazardous journey." No one on that ship intended to risk their lives and the only ones that doug phillips is a tool bothers to remember brought TRUNKS of clothes and shit to wear to the various balls and galas. Yup, totally hazardous.

You'd think he'd consider, I dont know, crossing the red sea with Pharoah's troops in pursuit more of a hazardous journey but what they fuck do I know? I'm just a wimmen.

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I've always wanted to visit Alaska. Do you think Doug will let me sign up? Or will he expect me to stay home with the rest of the wimmenz?

You can stay with me. But I don't have a way to get to Lake Clark, as I possess neither a pilots license, nor a plane.

There is an air taxi, but I think it's run by the lodge people and I don't have my Christian Card.

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ATTENTION!

Manly men are needed for a hazardous journey to Alaska!!

35a0nsn.png

So I ask you, fine FJites, what will Dougie and the Hazardous Journey Society equip the young mens with to prepare them to be leaders..........

Wait. This is a real thing? :wtf: I have never looked at these threads before. I thought this was just something you and Buzzard cooked up together to make fun of Doug (Phillips is a tool).

My world is a little off kilter right now....

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Wait. This is a real thing? :wtf: I have never looked at these threads before. I thought this was just something you and Buzzard cooked up together to make fun of Doug (Phillips is a tool).

My world is a little off kilter right now....

In the world of Doug Phillips (is a Tool) the truth is more toolish than fiction. Half of the snark, Doug literally writes himself. :music-tool:

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Wait. This is a real thing? :wtf: I have never looked at these threads before. I thought this was just something you and Buzzard cooked up together to make fun of Doug (Phillips is a tool).

My world is a little off kilter right now....

Oh, it's (sur)real, all right. Hurry over to the VF website and feast your eyes on the re-caps from previous Hazardous Journeys / manly romps around the globe (with costumes!). The trip to the Amazon is most memorable. We won't even mention his musings about the state of humanity in general.

Doug Phillips is a tool.

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I think the hazardous journey threads here are much more interesting than Doug (who is a tool) Phillips. (I wish we were public again)

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Perhaps he would be willing to have you serve the manly men THE LORD by preparing and serving sustenance after the hazardous journeys, but you'd probably have to wear a modest but fetching costume. Is there something in the Doug Phillips Is A Tool Historical Couture line that might be appropriate?

Google--don't forget that Doug Phillips is a tool. :music-tool:

*riffle*

Heh. My stepdad's granny was a camp cook in the early 1900's (for logging camps I think--I'm a little vague on the details). That job was more of a hazardous journey than anything Dougie has experienced. And she was probably "manlier" than him.

*Doug Phillips is a tool. The tooliest tool who ever tooled. Ever.

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WTF is with "men wanted for hazardous journey"? I guess nobody from this year's crop of interns captured Dougie's heart interest. And we all know Pa Brown has BRADRICK! on lockdown, so no more sweaty manly romps for him. Dougie, why don't you just take a "Casual Encounters" ad out on Craig's List and get it over with already?

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Dude. The Hazardous Journeys Society's facebook page has an album titled "Remembering the ultimate hazardous journey." You'd think, with them being a Christian group, that the Ultimate Hazardous Journey would have something to do with God, right? Something from the Bible, probably involving Jesus.

I shit you not, it's the Titanic. Doug Phillips is a tool and he considers the Titanic to be a more important hazardous journey than any of those undertaken in the Bible. Pretty sure we call that idolatry, Doug.

Wait, what? More hazardous than heading off to Jerusalem to be crucified by the Roman government? Nice. I mean, the Titanic was supposed to be unsinkable. It's not as if the dudes who signed up for the journey thought, "I'm going to hit an iceberg and drown while my children cry," whereas the outcome of Jesus's trip to Jerusalem was pretty much a foregone conclusion.

Doug Phillips is not just a tool, he's a toolshed.

:music-tool:

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Wait. This is a real thing? :wtf: I have never looked at these threads before. I thought this was just something you and Buzzard cooked up together to make fun of Doug (Phillips is a tool).

My world is a little off kilter right now....

There is even a video for the Alaska Journey. It shows that Doug Phillips is a tool :music-tool:

vimeo.com/64250593

Edited to add his not so epic video on manhood

vimeo.com/hazardousjourneys/manhood

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STAY OUT OF MY (and Maggie Mae's) STATE, DOUGIE. :violence-chainsaw:

.... Please? :cry:

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We had a thread on this before (ETA link: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16867), and I was so P.O.ed at Doug Phillips the Tool that I dug up a brochure from the lodge where this "Hazardous Journey" will take place and critiqued the supposed "hazards" line by line. The TL;DR from that post:

Everything in the Hazardous Journeys copy is in the brochure, except for one part where apparently Doug Phillips the Tool convinced the lodge owners (see below) to let him tailor the fly-in-hike-and-camp-in-the-mountains option so that the lodge staff will fly out a day early and let the anaconda hunters have some manly bonding time. I wonder if they're going to be the latest stupid tourist story to circulate around the state.

The Hazardous Journeys copy heaps chrome on everything. For example, the mountain hike is called a trek through trackless wilderness. At that altitude you don't need trails; you just walk over the short, springy alpine tundra vegetation while keeping landmarks in view. The Hazardous Journeys copy promises trophy fishing, but the lodge's own brochure notes that most of the fishing is catch and release with an option to purchase a trophy-sized wall-mounted replica fish as a memento. Etc.

The usual jargon is spread thickly over the ad copy: dominion, manhood, etc., etc., etc. All this for a vacation I could take this summer if I wanted to (ETA: and if I could afford it!) and I'm an out-of-shape middle-aged mom.

With the above in view, it's no surprise that this co-founded, co-owned, co-managed husband-and-wife operation is presented in the Hazardous Journeys copy as if solely owned by the husband.

BTW, the only difference between this lodge and dozens of others around Alaska is that this one has--you know what, I'm going to spoiler it and let you guess before you click.

This one has a conference room. In fact the lodge advertises itself as a great place for your next corporate junket, because guests can have just enough adventure to work up an appetite and make a person tired and mellow and apt to spin business plans around the fire.

Doug Phillips is a tool!

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I can't get over the name. What adult would name something Hazardous Journey Society? Sounds like something from Our Gang a la He-Man Women Haters Club.

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