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Michael Pearl's Book For Men


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http://www.amazon.com/Created-Need-Help ... gy_b_img_y

You can read an excerpt on Amazon. I don't know what I expected but his honeymoon sounded horrible. In fact, the first chapter sounds like an example why women should not be submissive and couples should not wait until marriage to have sex. According to Pearl, he was a virgin when he married Debbi at 25.

A friend told him that he had 'known' his wife five times on their wedding night and Michael Pearl was certain he could top that. He and Debbi reached their room after dark but he could only have sex once before they fell asleep. He then woke the exhausted woman up to go crabbing and hurried her out the door without her tennis shoes. He also took the flashlight and ran ahead in the dark while she carried their crabbing bag. They went back to their room and slept for a couple hours. He woke her for more sex and said she was willing but not active.

In the morning, she fixed breakfast and they went crabbing again. They returned at midday and he told her that he would sleep while she fixed dinner. She woke him screaming because the crabs were loose.

After she cooked dinner, he wanted sex again but she told him she was tired. Because he had read in a book that women use headaches and tiredness as an excuse to get out of sex so he convinced her to have sex with him and then fell asleep.

He woke to a crash and Debbi was unconscious on the bathroom floor. When she woke, she got angry and told him that her feet were sore with tiny holes in the soles, she had burnt herself and she was exhausted and sore.

I get the impression that the Pearls think that this is a charming story. I didn't read past this particular chapter. Michael sounds very immature and selfish for a 25 year old man. Debbi sounds like a martyr. Why the hell didn't she tell him to make his own damn food or that she wasn't going crabbing or that she would sleep instead of having sex? Is she abused or frightened of him?

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They sound like the were made for each other. What a horrible honeymoon. (Come on beech, I have to keep up with my friend and prove I'm a manly man. WTF??)

I remain amazed that anyone buys their books.

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Who the hell's gates is giving this swill 5 stars on Amazon?

him and his family. and the people who are getting paid or prayed too.

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And so a relationship of not communicating begun.

No wonder they give the advice that they do- they can't recommend proper communication with one's spouse because they don't even know to do it. Them giving advice? It's the proverbial blind leading the blind and guilting the seeing into following too.

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That sounds like a honeymoon from hell. One thing I certainly won't be doing on my honeymoon is cooking. I won't be going crabbing either, for that matter.

If Debbie was a virgin, and I'm assuming she was, all that sex would have left her very tender and in pain. My boyfriend and I had sex twice on the night I lost my virginity, and the second time hurt more than the first and I was walking awkwardly and feeling raw and a little painful all of the next day. I can't imagine being woken up to go hiking to catch crabs then have sex over and over again. Cooking dinner together could have been fun and romantic - him sleeping while she cooks alone, not so much.

Given Michael Pearl's thoughts on "training" I guess he wanted to start as he wished to continue, so he started grinding her down from day one. I would say poor woman, but I find it hard to empathise with a woman who not only beats babies and encourages her husband to do so, but also makes a living from a "ministry" convincing parents that to do so is the ONLY godly way to raise pleasant, obedient, successful children and teaches that women should stay married to abusive husbands, even if they sexually abuse her children, and be supportive and waiting for them when they leave prison for said crime. Whatever she was on her wedding night, she has become every bit as despicable as her husband.

Sorry, the Pearls always make me ranty.

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The fact that he woke her up and said that she was not active but willing disturbs me. What does 'willing' mean in Pearl's language? Does it mean she didn't fight or struggle? And the fact that he thought that his wife would use her exhaustion or a headache as an excuse to not have sex so he pressured her into having sex is also disturbing. Worse, the Pearls seem to think that this is a cute story.

I don't like Debbi. Her own writings make her sound like a sanctimonious, judgmental, nasty person; however, no one deserves to be abused and it sounds as if she is the victim of abuse.

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I read the 'companion' book-Created to be His Helpmeet. Right after they were married, they went to a grocery store to buy food to cook dinner. Whatever they had, it contained ground beef. Debi commented to him that the ground beef was a bit pricey and maybe they should pick something else. Apparently, she should not have questioned Michael's selection. Anyway, I wondered-why couldn't he have taken her out to dinner on their wedding night? Wasn't there food at the reception? So, on her wedding night,she has to shop for groceries, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc.

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I read the 'companion' book-Created to be His Helpmeet. Right after they were married, they went to a grocery store to buy food to cook dinner. Whatever they had, it contained ground beef. Debi commented to him that the ground beef was a bit pricey and maybe they should pick something else. Apparently, she should not have questioned Michael's selection. Anyway, I wondered-why couldn't he have taken her out to dinner on their wedding night? Wasn't there food at the reception? So, on her wedding night,she has to shop for groceries, cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc.

I'm torn because I want to read the book for snark purposes but I don't want to give the Pearls money. How did Michael react to being questioned about the hamburger meat?

When my husband and I started having sex, we were pretty active. We both have high libidos but I can't imagine him pressuring me into having sex if I told him that I was sick or have a headache. In the chapter that I read, 25 year old Michael sounds much more immature than my husband was at 20.

I still don't understand why Debbi-who doesn't sound weak willed- didn't just say, no to crabbing, cooking or lack of sleep. It aggravated me that she didn't say, "Hey, I'm not going out without my shoes. Cook your own damn meal and let me sleep." How can anyone read this account and still follow this couple's advice?

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You'd think that someone who believes in waiting until marriage should be more capable of controlling his urges than having as only priority on a wedding the need to "make up for all those years".

Anyway, I'm not sure if this story is meant to show how Michael eventually changed after realizing he'd been treating Debi badly, but otherwise it's hardly an advertizement for a complementarian marriage, they come across like two strangers bundled together.

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What a nightmare. My husband and I are Christians (not fundies) and we were virgins when we married, but our honeymoon was nothing like this.

We were exhausted after the wedding reception so we took a nap. When we woke up we ordered room service, filled the Jacuzzi and just laughed and talked until we were ready to go to bed.

We made love again in the morning before leaving for the honeymoon. I don't remember how often we did it on our two-week honeymoon, but I remember lots of laughter and fun and no crabbing---we went to a different restaurant every night and he treated me like a queen.

It's sad that Pearl's wife thought that this was her lot in life, and just accepted it. I'll bet their sex life went downhill from there.

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Thats a pretty terrible story. No wonder the poor woman was exhausted, shes gone from being a virgin to having sex multiple times a day even if she didnt want to. This pretty much confirms my theory that he is abusive to Debi. OK, shes not all good herself, because she beats babies, and maybe proposing to him hours after they met wasnt a good idea, but THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC STORY!!!

It is not a cute romantic story when someone has sex with a woman who is complaining that she is tired over and over again til she collapses from exhaustion. Sounds an awful lot like abuse. Also sex is not a competition, it doesnt matter how many times his friends had sex on their honeymoon.

No means no, Michael, its rape when you pressure a woman into having sex with you...

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The problem wasn't waiting until marriage to have sex.

The problem is that Michael Pearl is an asshole.

On top of that, you have grossly inadequate sex education featuring warped ideas about women, a woman who knows nothing about her own body and who can't assert any control over it, and a guy with absolutely no regard for the feelings of the person that he just married.

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wtf the most offensive thing about this is that he finds it funny and cute, unless i am severely misreading his writing.

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I refuse to buy their books to support their "ministry" but would love to read what they say first hand. I keep sort of hoping that because I haven't read it it isn't as bad as everyone says it is....but yeah...realistically it is probably worse. Is it available somewhere online?

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My "through the eyes of a fundie" lens must be clouded over right now, but I can't see anything the least bit "cute" or "romantic" in any part of that story. My honeymoon involved a Carribean island, a secluded villa, amazing 5 star restaurant food and no crabs (of any sort). That's my idea of romantic...

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That sounds like the honeymoon from Hell. MP is just plain evil, and Debi isn't any better.

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wtf the most offensive thing about this is that he finds it funny and cute, unless i am severely misreading his writing.

He does find the pain and despair of lesser beings amusing, doesn't he? Lesser beings being anybody who can't get a woody.

I wonder how long they were married before she found out that he'd used her as a game piece in his dick-waving competition with some other guy. It's not that I don't think she's a nasty piece of work all on her own--but did she actually sign up for that level of disrespect?

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He does find the pain and despair of lesser beings amusing, doesn't he? Lesser beings being anybody who can't get a woody.

Even then no one is really his equal or better. king shit of turd hill. Him and kim jong un could compete for asshole of the century award.

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  • 2 months later...

On another thread, people wondered where they could find proof about the Pearl's wedding night so I am bumping up this old thread.

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Thanks for bumping it. I'd heard references to this story but, man, it's so much worse than I imagined. He basically treated her the way a kidnapper would, keeping her too exhausted to think, overwhelming her with (barely consensual) sex, lots of sensory overlaod.

As others have pointed out, though, in the years since Debi has happily joined the side of her captor.

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Thanks for bumping it. I'd heard references to this story but, man, it's so much worse than I imagined. He basically treated her the way a kidnapper would, keeping her too exhausted to think, overwhelming her with (barely consensual) sex, lots of sensory overlaod.

As others have pointed out, though, in the years since Debi has happily joined the side of her captor.

It doesn't excuse her but maybe this explains why Debi seems so angry and bitter in her writing. If this is an example of a cherished memory, wonder what else is beneath the surface of the Pearl family.

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All of their stories have that "isn't it cute and funny how embarrassed/sad/angry/in pain some other person was" aspect to them.

BTW, Michael did "know" her (and how ironic that word is, in this context) three times on their wedding night, according to him. Then they drove to the honeymoon cabin. Other than that, the OP's description is pretty much right from the book:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/161644 ... B007AASAOQ

He does say he changed, sort of -- he says it took him two years to get her conditioned :evil-eye: to tolerate his selfishness, and another 10 to understand her needs. If that's how he puts it, I can only imagine what the reality is.

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