Large Family Logistics

[AnnieC 305]

Turns out my library acquired a copy.

I am sorely temped to comment/snark chapter-by-chapter. Anyone interested if I do?

[browngrl]

If the Lord lays it on your heart to share - I would enjoy that fellowship. Snark on! :)

[AnnieC 305]

All right, here we go:

For the record she has endorsements from Michelle Duggar and Beall Phillips right here on the cover.

Preface: Why I wrote this book

Many years ago I was the mother of one small baby boy in a little rental house. My husband and I were committed to having me stay at home to raise our little boy. I remember being embarrassed because of the dust, laundry piled up and dirty dishes, and I scrambled to make something for supper just minutes before my hard-working husband came home.

OK, before we go any further, for those who don't know me I've been a housewife myself for ten years this month. While we don't have any children before I retired I was a teacher for ten years, so I do have a background with children.

In her defense I have to say that it took me a few years to really get up to speed on the whole housewife thing. When this is your job you want to do it very well and you end up setting very high standards. It takes a bit of time to find your groove, the level of clean in your house that makes you feel comfortable, the list of recipes that are easy for you and tasty for him, and so on.

That said I am glad that we took a break from trying while I was getting settled. I cannot imagine trying to do all that AND take care of a baby. In fact I'd say taking care of a baby is your primary job at that stage of life and not keeping up is kind of expected. I've always wondered if the reason why so many of these women make taking care of the house such a big, complicated deal is because they are all staring out behind the ball because they have babies right off.

Next she whines about wondering what was wrong with her because her life was so much easier than her ancestors. Odds were her ancestors had lower standards. If you have to pump the water from the well and heat it on the stove you're only going to do dishes once a day and you're only going to do laundry once a week. If your tub hangs on a nail and your potty is out back you're not going to be cleaning that bathroom every day. The whole reason behind a spring cleaning was to tackle the soot from burning fires all winter that could never be cleaned, so people learned to live with it. The reason why we seem to have it so much harder than women did in the past is because technology allowed us to raise our standards.

Moving onward we have Titus 2 women. Her grandmother, mother, MIL and an elderly neighbor had gardens, canned, made quilts, and why couldn't she do that? Maybe because all their babies were grown and gone.

She didn't learn to keep a house (Or apparently any time management skills or self discipline) growing up because she went to the ebil public skools all day. Given that she didn't learn time management or self discipline I'm guessing she did not do well. Also, I learned basic housekeeping over the summers, what did she do?

Hallelujah her daughters won't have that problem because they're staying home and learning to be housekeepers from her! No other education needed!

Feminism ruined everything. Telling girls who love children to become teachers is bad. Telling new couples to "practice" with pets for a few years is bad. Feminism is bad. I'm guessing it's all bad because learning about children makes you a better parent, giving your marriage a few years before adding the stress of children makes for a stronger marriage and entertaining the radical notion that women are people makes women stronger and happier, all of which shows that their system is bunk.

On to chapter 1

[AnnieC 305]

Chapter 1

We must get our priorities straight. So we fisk Proverbs 31.

Ok, not exactly a fisk since she's agreeing not criticizing, but she does go over it point by drawn out point.

Sorry folks, the Malthest is going to skip this. I avoid reading the bible whenever I can help it.

Moving on....

[AnnieC 305]

Chapter 3 - on setting goals

Section 1 - more bible. Nope, not kidding.

Section 2 - Make goals with your husband.

For a wife to further her husband's goals , she must understand what his goals are. It's important for you to discover what your husband's priorities are for your family and home. Find out what his vision for the Christian home life is. Talk together about such things as child training, family worship, the aesthetics of the home, playtime, friendships to nurture, mealtimes, ministry and more and then set goals accordingly.

Quote my husband "You're the housewife, you figure it out."

To her credit she does talk about how some husbands might give you 'broad parameters" to run with, but you must always remember that you are the second-in-command and the help-meet. Needless to say not every family is like this. Some families are like mine, with a husband who works full time and goes to school full time and does not want to think about running the home at all. He literally turns over his paycheck and asks me to tell him what time to show up for dinner.

OK, trufax story time. Once in one of his classes one of the teachers asked if any of the guys there were married, and a half-dozen hands went up. Then the teacher asked if any of their wives stayed-at-home. My husband and one other man kept their hands up. Then he asked if their wives could work if they wanted. The other man replied that his wife would never need to work. My husband replied that he was just glad that I let him go to work. :D Methinks our kind of family would hurt her head.

Section 3 - Write your goals down.

Section 4 - Break your goals into manageable parts.

These two sections are actually good. She talks about organizing your goals and prioritizing them and breaking them down into manageable chunks. Granted all of this is good advice that can be found in about a zillion places on the internet, but it's mostly written for those in the workplace, a la David Allen's [link=http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0142000280]Getting Things Done[/link] or Julia Morgenstern's [link=http://www.amazon.com/Time-Management-Inside-Out-Second/dp/0805075909/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1361421839&sr=1-2&keywords=julia+morgenstern]Time Management from the Inside Out[/link], or any related website, so having it in a format geared for a homemaker is somewhat useful. She presents two examples, gearing up for a 5k and becoming more hospitable by working up toward the holiday season, both of which are actually pretty good.

On to Chapter 3

Edited to add links

[AnnieC 305]

Chapter 3 - Systems

First off, this chapter is about a page and a half.

Second she never actually defines what a system is. She starts out by saying that there are good systems and bad systems, gives a couple of examples of bad, leaving the dirty dishes on the table after a meal and letting the mail pile up. A good system gets the work done quickly and efficiently. But not everyone in every family will implement every system every time. Sometimes, like when your family is working through a cold, you have a system breakdown.

But good systems are a blessing, they aren't creative but done well they allow more time for creativity.

OK, about halfway through the chapter we finally get an idea of what a system is. It's the order of operations for a given chore. For example when washing dishes it's better to put glasses first and seriously greasy things last so you don't transfer the grease onto the glasses and make them harder to clean. She suggests breaking down the steps of a system and writing them down in the most efficient order, but she's very vague about what a system is.

She also gives four steps for teaching your "family" your system, but she then tells you to tell them that learning to do it right gives them more time to play, so I kinda doubt she's talking about her husband.

Also, more bible.

I may just end up recommending alternative sources as we go for a lot of this. For this one I recommend Jeff Campbell and the Clean Team's[link=http://www.thecleanteam.com/Books-By-Jeff-Campbell-ALL-3-BOOKS-_p_218.html]books on how to clean.[/link]

[AnnieC 305]

Chapter 4 - Self discipline, it starts with you.

More bible. Also, memorizing scripture builds self discipline. Also, delaying gratification is good.

Right.

Also, starting with small things and small habits helps build self-discipline, even with children. That might be a good point.

Know what I always felt gave good self-discipline? Having a buy-in. Just doing something because a book or a remote authority tells you isn't going to get you anywhere. Personal example, I grew up in this culture so like everyone else I was bombarded with the diet/exercise/body shame mantra from birth. But I didn't have a buy-in to really develop the diet and exercise habits I needed until I found out that I was borderline Diabetic and I cannot tolerate the medications for it. Now I'm on a low-carb diet and walking every day because I don't want to get sick.

In my experience everyone does better at self-discipline when they feel like they're a part of something, a part of the family or a part of the classroom. If you're having trouble with this it may be because you feel like you have a buy-in, and that is a much bigger issue to target.

Also, these chapters are silly short.

On to chapter 5

[KBepote]

I'm enjoying this, AnnieC. I've wanted to read some of these notorious books, but my library doesn't carry them.

[AnnieC 305]

Thanks. The real meat comes in Part 2, I think, but there is snarkworthy stuff on the way tomorrow.

[SoybeanQueen]

I have a copy. I was so excited to get fantastic tips on household management. Then I realized I could have just printed off one of the many Large Family Logistics printable schedules available on the internet, and would have had all of the actual organization info for free.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Im quite interested in how large families organise things :)

Is there anything for large families which is not specifically aimed at Christians? From the name, you wouldnt really suspect it to be full of Bible verses, but more about how to organise your house when you have eleventy billion kids.

I would actually love to read some of these books by fundies we snark on, wonder if my local library has them...

[eohiken]

All right, here we go:

For the record she has endorsements from Michelle Duggar and Beall Phillips right here on the cover.

OK, before we go any further, for those who don't know me I've been a housewife myself for ten years this month. While we don't have any children before I retired I was a teacher for ten years, so I do have a background with children.

In her defense I have to say that it took me a few years to really get up to speed on the whole housewife thing. When this is your job you want to do it very well and you end up setting very high standards. It takes a bit of time to find your groove, the level of clean in your house that makes you feel comfortable, the list of recipes that are easy for you and tasty for him, and so on.

That said I am glad that we took a break from trying while I was getting settled. I cannot imagine trying to do all that AND take care of a baby. In fact I'd say taking care of a baby is your primary job at that stage of life and not keeping up is kind of expected. I've always wondered if the reason why so many of these women make taking care of the house such a big, complicated deal is because they are all staring out behind the ball because they have babies right off.

Next she whines about wondering what was wrong with her because her life was so much easier than her ancestors. Odds were her ancestors had lower standards. If you have to pump the water from the well and heat it on the stove you're only going to do dishes once a day and you're only going to do laundry once a week. If your tub hangs on a nail and your potty is out back you're not going to be cleaning that bathroom every day. The whole reason behind a spring cleaning was to tackle the soot from burning fires all winter that could never be cleaned, so people learned to live with it. The reason why we seem to have it so much harder than women did in the past is because technology allowed us to raise our standards.

Moving onward we have Titus 2 women. Her grandmother, mother, MIL and an elderly neighbor had gardens, canned, made quilts, and why couldn't she do that? Maybe because all their babies were grown and gone.

She didn't learn to keep a house (Or apparently any time management skills or self discipline) growing up because she went to the ebil public skools all day. Given that she didn't learn time management or self discipline I'm guessing she did not do well. Also, I learned basic housekeeping over the summers, what did she do?

Hallelujah her daughters won't have that problem because they're staying home and learning to be housekeepers from her! No other education needed!

Feminism ruined everything. Telling girls who love children to become teachers is bad. Telling new couples to "practice" with pets for a few years is bad. Feminism is bad. I'm guessing it's all bad because learning about children makes you a better parent, giving your marriage a few years before adding the stress of children makes for a stronger marriage and entertaining the radical notion that women are people makes women stronger and happier, all of which shows that their system is bunk.

On to chapter 1

I read a book called History of Housework (or somesuch, I don't remember) which was pretty much is this paragraph in detail. Lugging water was priority and took up a great deal of time, laundry was a 4 day ordeal, cooking over a woodstove takes most of the afternoon everday. People had two sets of clothes, Sunday clothes that were expected to be clean, and every other day work clothes that weren't expected to be clean. For women, that's exactly 2 dresses, no more. So yeah, priority were WAY different.

[ladyaudley]

I've learned more about managing a household from watching BBC Victorian Farm than pretty much anywhere else ^^

AnnieC305, loving these ^^

[AnnieC 305]

I am actually thinking of moving this to my blog so I can give it the attention it deserves. What do you all think?

[Rita]

AnnieC, this is a wonderful public service. Thank you. If you move it to your blog, will you link it here?

[AnnieC 305]

AnnieC, this is a wonderful public service. Thank you. If you move it to your blog, will you link it here?

Yes, of course. Stay tuned.

[AnnieC 305]

Here you go

http://theurbanfarmouse2.blogspot.com/

If it's too painfully foofy speak up in the comments.

[AnnieC 305]

And now it's open for business. Sorry, I didn't realize I'd closed the thing.

[AnnieC 305]

I've made it all the way to kitchen day where we find out that she makes her older daughters give the floor a good hands and knees scrubbing once a week while she reads to them. Really.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Seriously? Why doesnt she scrub the floor while she keeps the kids occupied by giving them the books to read.

[Lulu]

I've made it all the way to kitchen day where we find out that she makes her older daughters give the floor a good hands and knees scrubbing once a week while she reads to them. Really.

That sounds OK to me :lol: I can just imagine my children's faces it I did that :o :snooty: are 2 that come to mind.

I find it hard to find stuff on large family living that isn't all religious preachy preachy.