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Mormon Mommy bloggers are screwing with my mind!


bionicmlle

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So, Jingers... apparently it's the start of Valentine's week (or, as Nie refers to it, "Lovers Holiday") and the MMB-army are slathering their blogs with Valentine's Day perfection. I know it's a total farce - that these gals work very hard to keep up with the (CJane) Joneses and its a show but WOW does it hit me at a sensitive spot! I have an internal dialogue that tells me I should do more to make my home more, uh, "homey" and to make sure my spouse feels more loved (etc etc etc) and reading this crap on their blogs stirs up a lot of inadequacy.

 

I bring this up for two reasons -- 1) I am insecure and need some validation (sob!) and 2) if exposure to these blogs makes ME feel inadequate, my heart aches for all of those women within the culture who feel an even stronger (more "eternal") need to keep up.

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Links please!

As for feeling inadequate... I think its a lot like the people who have to go to such great lengths to show how anti gay they are (because they're totally gay). If you have to slather your blog with IM SOOOO IN LUV... you're not.

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It's easy to crop out the imperfections in your life. Not so easy (or desirable) to actually get rid of them.

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Links please!

As for feeling inadequate... I think its a lot like the people who have to go to such great lengths to show how anti gay they are (because they're totally gay). If you have to slather your blog with IM SOOOO IN LUV... you're not.

Or someone who lectures people for hours about manhood and acting like "real men" because they're insecure about their own masculinity *cougheveryfundieguyevercough*

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I've worked with some people who were constantly bragging about their perfect husbands, how motherhood is wonderful all the time, how their kids are so far ahead of the curve, and how perfectly (down to those handmade curtains) decorated are. It's even easier to portray yourself anad your life as simply wonderful on a blog, where nobody who reads even really knows you. I have always called bullshit, because no happy, content person needs to self-aggrandize that much.

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It's fake. It's all fake. It's for show. All of it! You can make sugar cookies and decorate them perfectly or you can have a life with real interaction with those you care about! Just remember that.

That being said, I get it. I'm on mat leave with a kid that demands 100% of my attention every minute of the day. I used to cook, bake, and um rarely clean. I can't seem to do a fucking thing around the house now. I'm learning to let it go because my son is a million times more important than making heart shaped soap and artfully arranging them in my spotless bathroom so I can take an instagram photo for pinterest.

Edited because sleep deprivation has screwed with my ability to edit my own crap.

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Natthefatrat and Rockstar diaries are what I choose to torture myself with. Although I have no desire for city living, they totally seem like they have it together. I am not that naive to actually believe it, but from the outside looking in....looks dreamy.

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It's fake. It's all fake. It's for show. All of it! You can make sugar cookies and decorate them perfectly or you can have a life with real interaction with those you care about! Just remember that.

That being said, I get it. I'm on mat leave with a kid that demands 100% of my attention every minute of the day. I used to cook, bake, and um rarely clean. I can't seem to do a fucking thing around the house now. I'm learning to let it go because my son is a million times more important than making heart shaped soap and artfully arranging them in my spotless bathroom so I can take an instagram photo for pinterest.

Edited because sleep deprivation has screwed with my ability to edit my own crap.

QFT, as in Quite Fucking True. :) Your child and your sanity are infinitely more important than decorative soaps or curtains. I hope you can get sufficient rest very soon. I certainly remember those days when my son was a colicky infant.

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I have an internal dialogue that tells me I should do more to make my home more, uh, "homey" and to make sure my spouse feels more loved (etc etc etc) and reading this crap on their blogs stirs up a lot of inadequacy.

Ummm...you mean it's not enough to cut a huge heart shape out of red construction paper, and tape it to a wall?? :whistle:

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I also enjoy reading these mommy blogs (even though I'm not a mother). Just remember that some of these women make money off their sites so those DIY projects and craft projects is like a paying job for them. Also remember the messes, clean-ups, mundane stuff are cut out. No one's life is filled with sunshine every day. No one with six kids have spotless bathrooms all the time. These women also warm up leftovers for supper. Their kids create messages that require tedious clean-ups. They have bad hair days and feel overwhelmed as any hurried parent would. However, Mormons are taught to smile and focus on the positives in their lives, and some show that off through their blogs.

These last few days, I've glanced at my mundane life, and thought that with a few tricks of the camera, I could make my life glamorous and shiny too. I could blog about going out to a night in the theater, or dinner at a fancy restaurant, or lunch at home with the parents. All of these activities I have done in the last couple of weeks. All I need is some good lighting, a decent camera, artful angles and voila! My life looks filled with excitement and fun. I would put only the good stuff on my blog. A person reading it would think my calender must be filled with wonderful activities. My life filled with friends and family and laughter. Far from it, I have struggles and frustrations and argue with my loved ones. I'm sure those Mormon mommies do too.

Anyway, my point is that these blogs are meant to cause you to look up to these women as domestic goddesses. Some do this to generate income. Others use it as a creative outlet. Most use blogging as a way to interact with similarly minded people. Reading through the Mormon mommy blogs, you get the impression that all Mormons must be upper middle class and live in expensive homes with beautiful children. However, just as the posts are selected snippets of these women's lives, the people who blog are self-selected as well. In today's world, the lifestyle blogs are the new way for some to show off and for others to feel like "keeping up with the Joneses".

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I have always called bullshit, because no happy, content person needs to self-aggrandize that much.

Exactly. An ex of mine posted daily on FB about how much he loved his wife for the first couple years of their marriage. Even now he will post things about similar. (the other day he posted how she had gone out of town for the weekend and had labeled everything in the fridge- how to heat it, what to eat it with, what it was, ect... Really, he is NOT that helpless, he was a single guy until he was nearly 30, but he sure likes to act like he is.)

(and no, it's not a problem if it's every once in a while, it's when it is constant that I have serious doubts, especially when there is never anything else.)

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I have noticed that some of the Utah Mormon mommies like NieNie act like everything is perfect and their husbands are gods. Nie annoys me quite a bit whenever she talks about her Mr. Nielson. There are a couple of non-Utah Mormon bloggers that I've been following for awhile and they are different Nie and the other Utah raised upper middle class bloggers. These non Utah bloggers are two sisters who grew up in St. Louis. They admit to money problems and they don't act as if their hubbies are gods.

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There is a great spoof on Mormon Mommy blogs called "Seriously So Blessed" (can find it on google). The author no longer updates, but it is super funny if you ever need distraction from the seemingly-perfect lives of the mommyblogs.

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It's fake. It's all fake. It's for show. All of it! You can make sugar cookies and decorate them perfectly or you can have a life with real interaction with those you care about! Just remember that.

That being said, I get it. I'm on mat leave with a kid that demands 100% of my attention every minute of the day. I used to cook, bake, and um rarely clean. I can't seem to do a fucking thing around the house now. I'm learning to let it go because my son is a million times more important than making heart shaped soap and artfully arranging them in my spotless bathroom so I can take an instagram photo for pinterest.

Edited because sleep deprivation has screwed with my ability to edit my own crap.

Hey! I decorate sugar cookies perfectly!

I just do it while my kids watch TV and then take a week to wash my silpat. But, the point is, I could absolutely take envy-inspiring pics of crafts and stuff, because it's my thing and I enjoy it. But you wouldn't see the state of the bathrooms or the laundry I put in the dryer because I was too lazy to hang it or the child in time out for hitting.

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Last week on Nie's blog, she talked about how and her hubby are going on a cash only system for their budget plan. GOMI posters were a bit shocked because it seems Christian and Nie aren't really hurting for money. One GOMI poster thinks that Nie is pretending about the cash only thing just to relate to her readers more. Nie has mentioned money troubles in the past and maybe their cash cow from the crash is start to lessen. But according to court records, they got a settlement from the city they sued. So who knows with Nie.

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QFT all of the above!! I was thinking a lot after I made the post -- what do I put my time into? I try my best to find things to do with my hubster, or to make his life easier. doing those things PLUS my full-time career? I'm fucking supermom! and I don't have kids!! :) I tell people often that if a marriage ISN'T work, then it WON'T work-- maintaining a good marriage is not always easy. I'd probably prefer a stable marriage to a lovely Valentine lay-out on the kitchen table (although, I'd LOVE the layout on the kitchen table -- any Jingers for hire to decorate??? XO)

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There is a great spoof on Mormon Mommy blogs called "Seriously So Blessed" (can find it on google). The author no longer updates, but it is super funny if you ever need distraction from the seemingly-perfect lives of the mommyblogs.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for introducing me to this. So fantastic.

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There is a great spoof on Mormon Mommy blogs called "Seriously So Blessed" (can find it on google). The author no longer updates, but it is super funny if you ever need distraction from the seemingly-perfect lives of the mommyblogs.

Holy Shit! The weirdest thing just happened to me. So I did a google search Seriously So Blessed and it came right up. As I was scrolling down the page, I noticed on the bottom left-hand side are photos of four couples and on each it says "looking to adopt". So I clicked on one, read their page, then i clicked on the one that said "Amy and Paul." I clicked on "About Amy" and holy shit, a picture of a couple of my friends shows up. Its a photo from a children's community theater play we were in (I'm not in .this particular photo). THEN as I read her description over, I realize that, before she moved away, she was a good friend of my little sister.

The internet, man. Crazy. I go on free jinger to snark on fundies, from there to a spoof Mormon mommy-blog, from there to a real adoption blog, and I used to know the person. THIS is why I stay up all night on-line.

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Sometimes I wonder how Nie and Cjane can be sisters.... I don't even bother with Nie anymore, she infuriates me no end. It seems though that these holidays are a huge deal to a lot of Americans (bloggers I mean), They usually rarely rate a mention on Aussie mummy blogs. Which suits me just fine.

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Sometimes I wonder how Nie and Cjane can be sisters.... I don't even bother with Nie anymore, she infuriates me no end. It seems though that these holidays are a huge deal to a lot of Americans (bloggers I mean), They usually rarely rate a mention on Aussie mummy blogs. Which suits me just fine.

It's a big deal for everyone here. My kids have to write 30 valentines between them, and they'll bring home 30+ candy to squabble over.

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Whenever I want to feel like an inadequate wife and mother I go to the Mormon blogs. Coming from a country where I'm pretty sure I'd have to search hard to find one I find Mormonism and the MMB phenomenon particularly fascinating.

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It's a big deal for everyone here. My kids have to write 30 valentines between them, and they'll bring home 30+ candy to squabble over.

After checking my usual blogs this morning, I started freaking out that I hadn't organised anything for my son to take on valentines day. He has only just started school last week and I'm not sure how it all works yet. Then I came to my senses and remembered I'm Australian!

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I never feel inadequate reading any blog. It takes one second to type. I love my gorgeous partner SO much. It takes hard work to do it.

Valentines day :lol: Mr OKTBT once bought me a vase. No flowers. Just the vase. I love him SO much :P

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Hey! I decorate sugar cookies perfectly!

I just do it while my kids watch TV and then take a week to wash my silpat. But, the point is, I could absolutely take envy-inspiring pics of crafts and stuff, because it's my thing and I enjoy it. But you wouldn't see the state of the bathrooms or the laundry I put in the dryer because I was too lazy to hang it or the child in time out for hitting.

Me too (but I'm an empty-nester and have no kids around on a daily basis). I have been known to post loverly pics of gorgeous baked goods on Facebook. Pics of the dishes in the sink or the not-yet-folded laundry? Not so much.

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Im sure theyre not that perfect in real life and have their off days like everyone else, and the house is only clean in pictures because they cropped out the dirt or took pictures when the kids were in bed.

Surely nobody could be that perfect.

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