Jump to content
IGNORED

Mormon Mommy bloggers are screwing with my mind!


bionicmlle

Recommended Posts

The thing is, anyone can be part-time perfect.

I mean...here.

yesterday my kid looked angelic in her white tights (she is pernsickity, through no fault of mine, and insists on keeping white clothes spotless. I do not understand this) and name-brand (2nd hand) clothes.

We were early to church where I shared home-made baked goods.

She was good (relatively) during the service and helped with the candles and such and played the part of altar server (kinda--she's 2 and she likes to help) at the end of the service.

She played quietly during coffee hour and said " 'scuse us" to everyone we passed, while she politely helped push the cart through the store to buy diapers on our way home. On the drive home, I fed her organic yogurt puree in a pouch--which I rinsed out for recycling once home and put the screw cap in the 'craft drawer' to make into a counting game next weekend.

Once home, she went down for her nap and, while she was sleeping, Mr. Dawbs worked on his giant carpentry project that has taken over the garage and I finished sewing her home-made, hand made superhero cape and then I prepared lunch snacks for the rest of the week (put rice krispy treats in individual re-usable baggies, same w/ cheese sticks. Made home-made pudding cups in glad-ware. Measured applesauce into re-usable cups.)

Once the kid was up, she put on her cape and she and her dog went on a merry frolic, fighting evil.

^that makes it look like I'm doing awesome. I could create a great blog and photos from all that.

And, honestly, it's all 100% true. But it's not the FULL truth.

The full truth would be that my husband and I sniped at each other all weekend because of life-crappy-stuff.

The full truth would be that I spent all day w/ my kid Friday-Sunday but I basically won't see her, other than on my way to drop her off until next Friday.

The full truth would have to touch on me wondering if I screwed up some things w/ the kid because I'm giving in to much and she's acting petulant and..well...2 :lol:

The full truth would be that in the middle of that, we had an emergency because the dog snarled at the kid and air snapped we're worried about food aggression getting worse again.

Even when we're at our best, there are dusty musty corners we don't show light in. that's OK.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel the same way.I was on Pintrest late last night searching for the perfect "crafty" gift to make for my son's preschool teachers. I was determined to make something like those "perfect" moms. Then I finally realized after spending way to much time looking at 101 things to make for Valentine's Day with a toilet paper roll that I was being crazy. Then I decided to buy the teachers chocolates tomorrow and went to bed. I know I'll never be that "prefect" mom but perfect is boring. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't buy into it.

I have a friend who's life appears totally perfect: he's a good-looking potential political candidate; she is respected in her profession. They were recently married and popped out a gorgeous kid. If you look at the photographs and talk with them when they are together, you'd think they had the world in their hands. Everything is wonderful! Life is awesome! Ohmygosh, look at our PERFECT life!

The reality is: He has at least one child with another woman, who is also married (his wife knows nothing about it and he fathered the child while he and his wife were dating.) He was unfaithful to her the entire time they were dating/engaged up until the day before their wedding. He "farms" but really a hired hand does everything and the farming operation is bleeding money. She desperately wants to me a SAHM, but can't because she needs to keep the family afloat financially.

Whenever anyone even remotely connects the dots on these two, they each claim anyone who criticizes them is jealous, because they're young and successful and beautiful. Once you take a look under the hood, the whole thing is a FUBAR'd mess.

Mormons are obsessed with outward appearances. Once you look close, it's a disaster. Women in that religion are discouraged from being honest with each other, because they're too busy being told that they have to out-do each other in every way. It's another subtle way the Mormons keep women from supporting each other in substantive, meaningful ways. Thought control of the most destructive kind, because they get you to rat on each other.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll be honest here and admit that I may have a "little problem" with sixsistersstuff. They all look just perfect and they just seem to have their shit together. It sometimes makes me feel slightly inferior even though I know anything can be edited to look pretty. Tomorrow is my sons 3rd birthday and V day is coming up and his gifts I ordered haven't arrived and I haven't bought valentines for his preschool class or gifts for his teachers. We keep circulating a cold despite my best OCD efforts to blast germs to kingdom come, but I think it may be because the teachers just wipe all the little faces with a water-wet washcloth after lunch. Maybe they won't get gifts after all. I guess what I'm trying to say, if the cold medicine hasn't messed me up too much, is I do not have my shit together. And the codeine makes it all ok :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's fake. It's all fake. It's for show. All of it! You can make sugar cookies and decorate them perfectly or you can have a life with real interaction with those you care about! Just remember that.

That being said, I get it. I'm on mat leave with a kid that demands 100% of my attention every minute of the day. I used to cook, bake, and um rarely clean. I can't seem to do a fucking thing around the house now. I'm learning to let it go because my son is a million times more important than making heart shaped soap and artfully arranging them in my spotless bathroom so I can take an instagram photo for pinterest.

Edited because sleep deprivation has screwed with my ability to edit my own crap.

Good to know I am not alone. The dishes in the sink have been there since Saturday, maybe Friday. Pre-baby it would never have happened, but now if I can't do it while nursing it can wait. After the baby is in bed I am so tired housework can wait. Hubs understands and is happy to help or ignore the mess. We won't get this time back with little one again.

We stopped celebrating Valentine's Day when we noticed that the couples who made a big production of it had the worse relationships. We promised to be loving to each other every day and not buy into the crazy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel the same way.I was on Pintrest late last night searching for the perfect "crafty" gift to make for my son's preschool teachers. I was determined to make something like those "perfect" moms. Then I finally realized after spending way to much time looking at 101 things to make for Valentine's Day with a toilet paper roll that I was being crazy. Then I decided to buy the teachers chocolates tomorrow and went to bed. I know I'll never be that "prefect" mom but perfect is boring. ;)

As a teacher, chocolate is good! Glue sticks can be even better depending on my budget that year, but chocolate is always appreciated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'll be honest here and admit that I may have a "little problem" with sixsistersstuff. They all look just perfect and they just seem to have their shit together. It sometimes makes me feel slightly inferior even though I know anything can be edited to look pretty. Tomorrow is my sons 3rd birthday and V day is coming up and his gifts I ordered haven't arrived and I haven't bought valentines for his preschool class or gifts for his teachers. We keep circulating a cold despite my best OCD efforts to blast germs to kingdom come, but I think it may be because the teachers just wipe all the little faces with a water-wet washcloth after lunch. Maybe they won't get gifts after all. I guess what I'm trying to say, if the cold medicine hasn't messed me up too much, is I do not have my shit together. And the codeine makes it all ok :D

Those 'timesaving' recipes they post look vile.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a friend who's life appears totally perfect: he's a good-looking potential political candidate; she is respected in her profession. They were recently married and popped out a gorgeous kid. If you look at the photographs and talk with them when they are together, you'd think they had the world in their hands. Everything is wonderful! Life is awesome! Ohmygosh, look at our PERFECT life!

Except for the part with the woman having a career, I thought you were describing the set up of The Omen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I made my kid's valentines this year, because for some insane reason I wanted to make crayon hearts (they are very easy BTW.) He couldn't be less interested. "If I give one, I have to give everyone one and I don't like everyone." Not giving anything to the teacher unless ....hmmm... I weave her a moustache...she'd like that too....

I doubt we are "doing anything' for valentine's day. My 50th birthday is coming up, and so far my husband has ignored all my suggestions but keeps saying we need to plan something. While I bought my own Christmas gifts this year...I don't really want to buy my own 50th birthday present...unless I can find a lego werewolf, vampire and ghost.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mormons are obsessed with outward appearances. Once you look close, it's a disaster. Women in that religion are discouraged from being honest with each other, because they're too busy being told that they have to out-do each other in every way. It's another subtle way the Mormons keep women from supporting each other in substantive, meaningful ways. Thought control of the most destructive kind, because they get you to rat on each other.

QFT! This is important to remember and it is not just Mormons - we see this in so many of the fundies. When women are convinced that they need to be ever competitive with each other while trying to live up to perfectionistic ideals, they are encouraged to lie and to treat other women as less deserving people. I think this is one of the most harmful aspects of patriarchy. It encourages women not only to think poorly of themselves, but to think poorly of each other as well.

I've noticed that oftentimes when a person is denied legitimate power and agency over their lives, then they seek to have illegitimate power and agency - often over other people's lives. I suspect that is what happens with a lot of these perfectionista Mommy Bloggers (and fundie women in general). They protest too much.

As an aside - I hate Valentines Day. I think it is an over-commercialized scam. Things that make me feel loved have nothing to do with Valentines Day. It's not a card or perfume. I know that some women appreciate these things. But they are just not for me. I'd much rather have my husband attend to me as a person every day than think he can treat me shabbily as long as he throws some flowers my way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QFT! This is important to remember and it is not just Mormons - we see this in so many of the fundies. When women are convinced that they need to be ever competitive with each other while trying to live up to perfectionistic ideals, they are encouraged to lie and to treat other women as less deserving people. I think this is one of the most harmful aspects of patriarchy. It encourages women not only to think poorly of themselves, but to think poorly of each other as well.

I've noticed that oftentimes when a person is denied legitimate power and agency over their lives, then they seek to have illegitimate power and agency - often over other people's lives. I suspect that is what happens with a lot of these perfectionista Mommy Bloggers (and fundie women in general). They protest too much.

As an aside - I hate Valentines Day. I think it is an over-commercialized scam. Things that make me feel loved have nothing to do with Valentines Day. It's not a card or perfume. I know that some women appreciate these things. But they are just not for me. I'd much rather have my husband attend to me as a person every day than think he can treat me shabbily as long as he throws some flowers my way.

That's true about Mormons and fundies is that women are convinced that they have to compete with each other when it comes to perfectionism. It's also women that are nastier to each other than the men are, especially when it comes to Mormon women who would like to wear nice pants to church, or to have women pray in their semi-annual conferences. Since Mormon and fundie women don't have control when it comes to religion, they use fake perfection and judging their neighbors as a way to have some control. One thing that's strongly encouraged in Mormonism is to keep a journal, but now blogs are seen as the 21st century way of keeping the journal, and with the idea that people do read those blogs, there's even more pressure to appear to be perfect, even if it's all fake.

I completely agree about Valentine's Day as being a scam that greeting card companies, the candy and floral industries as well as restaurants use to make a ton of money. Most people in committed relationships including marriages don't need a day to remember each other as they do that every day. At least that's how it is in my relationship and among most of my couple friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whenever I want to feel like an inadequate wife and mother I go to the Mormon blogs. Coming from a country where I'm pretty sure I'd have to search hard to find one I find Mormonism and the MMB phenomenon particularly fascinating.

Oh, Drina, you're just going to the wrong MMBs. I give you sixsistersstuff.com, which is where I go when I'm feeling inadequate, because it never fails to restore my feelings of superiority.

You say your craft didn't turn out looking at all like the one on pinterest? Six Sisters to the rescue, with this brilliant Christmas decoration: sixsistersstuff.com/2012/11/burlap-scrap-christmas-trees-tutorial.html. Doesn't that make you feel like challenging Martha Stewart to a duel with glue-guns at 20 paces?

Last night's dinner didn't turn out as good as you wish? Just scroll through their recipes. That is, if you can call opening a can of something, a bottle of something else, and a packet of some kind of season mix (onion soup mix and ranch dressing mix their apparent favorites, tossing it all into the crockpot with a cup of sugar for good measure, and letting it cook for 4-6 hours, a recipe. as a bonus, if you were feeling a bit hungry, some of their recipes will kill your appetite pronto.

Feel like everything takes you longer to do than you anticipated? Again, with the recipes, especially recipes that would cook in 20 minutes or less on the stove top, taking 4-6 hours in the crockpot: sixsistersstuff.com/2012/09/slow-cooker-chicken-and-broccoli-over.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

*snip* to the wrong MMBs. I give you sixsistersstuff.com, which is where I go when I'm feeling inadequate, because it never fails to restore my feelings of superiority...

I am feeling reassured :)

This is why sifting through some of the Under $1000 stuff to write the summary made me feel so smug -- compared to gloodles, me feeding my kid home-made nachos is just the height of awesomesauce

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those 'timesaving' recipes they post look vile.

I've tried the desserts and some of them are pretty good with a few modifications. I'm not crafty so if you can use a glue gun you're fucking Martha Stewart to me. I may need to re-evaluate what impresses me. :oops:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QFT, as in Quite Fucking True. :) Your child and your sanity are infinitely more important than decorative soaps or curtains. I hope you can get sufficient rest very soon. I certainly remember those days when my son was a colicky infant.

I know it's COMPLETELY off topic, but since I don't have access to chatter. HE SLEPT LAST NIGHT! SEVERAL HOURS IN A ROW!! I'M FUCKING DELIRIOUS WITH SLEEP! :happy-jumpeveryone:

Thank you, now back to the usual snark. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.