The Pearls as a "Recommended Resource"?

[GenerationCedarchip]

I was researching some homeschool association info for a case and as I wandered on the Central Texas Christian homeschooling site, I found a list of recommended resources aimed at people who are exploring or starting out in homeschooling. And they're suggesting that folks try out To Train Up a Child. I have issues with other things on that list, but the thought of people being urged by the association to use that particular book just makes my skin crawl.

www.homeschool-life.com/sysfiles/member ... tomid=5982

[Oddeverything]

I sent them this e-mail. I wonder how they will respond.

Hello! My name is Anita Dalton and I live in Pflugerville. I am a great champion of homeschooling and applaud your site's efforts to create a cooperative of like-minds as families educate their children.

However, I was shocked and appalled to see that your site recommends Debi and Michael Pearl's book, To Train Up a Child, as a suggested resource. Setting aside the horrific advice that infants as young as six months old should be switched and that older children should be hit with plumbing line without mercy, this book is a legal liability for your site. If a parent were to purchase that book on your recommendation, then beat their child to death because CHEACT endorsed the methods in the book by recommending it, CHEACT could, in some cases, be held liable for harm done to children.

In the event that CHEACT has no idea of the extremity of the content in the book, please allow me to provide some direct quotes and synopses:

Here they discuss beating their eldest daughter when she was an infant. Some may argue that little hits with a stick didn't hurt her but if they didn't, there would be little use in hitting her with a willow twig:

At four months she was too unknowing to be punished for disobedience. But for her own good, we attempted to train her not to climb the stairs by coordinating the voice command of “No†with little spats on the bare legs. The switch was a twelve-inch long, one-eighth-inch diameter sprig from a willow tree.

Evidently Debi Pearl pulled the hair of her nursing infants:

One particularly painful experience of nursing mothers is the biting baby. My wife did not waste time finding a cure. When the baby bit, she pulled hair (an alternative has to be sought for baldheaded babies).

They demand dog-like obedience:

If parents carefully and consistently train up a child, his or her performance will be as consistently satisfying as that rendered by a well trained seeing-eye dog.

They prefer to beat their children rather than baby-proof their home:

With our first toddler, I placed an old, unused and empty, single-shot shot-gun in the living room corner. After taking the toddler through the “No†saying, hand-switching sessions, they knew guns were always off limits. Every day they played around the gun without touching it. I never had to be concerned with their going into someone else’s house and touching a gun. I didn’t gun-proof my house, I gun-proofed my children.

Here they recommend hitting a baby who is cranky and cannot sleep:

Get tough. Be firm with him. Never put him down and then allow him to get up. If, after putting him down, you remember he just woke up, do not reward his complaining by allowing him to get up.For the sake of consistency in training, you must follow through. He may not be able to sleep, but he can be trained to lie there quietly. He will very quickly come to know that any time he is laid down there is no alternative but to stay put. To get up is to be on the firing line and get switched back down.

Here's how they handle a cranky seven-month-old:

A seven-month-old boy had, upon failing to get his way, stiffened clenched his fists, bared his toothless gums and called down damnation on the whole place. At a time like that, the angry expression on a baby’s face can resemble that of one instigating a riot. The young mother, wanting to do the right thing, stood there in helpless consternation, apologetically shrugged her shoulders and said, “What can I do?†My incredulous nine-year-old whipped back, “Switch him.†The mother responded, “I can’t, he’s too little.†With the wisdom of a veteran who had been on the little end of the switch, my daughter answered, “If he is old enough to pitch a fit, he is old enough to be spanked.â€

Here they recommend beating a toddler until he is completely broken:

She then administers about ten slow, patient licks on his bare legs. He cries in pain. If he continues to show defiance by jerking around and defending himself, or by expressing anger, then she will wait a moment and again lecture him and again spank him. When it is obvious he is totally broken, she will hand him the rag and very calmly say, “Johnny, clean up your mess.†He should very contritely wipe up the water.

Here Pearl explains why a child who obeys should be beaten anyway:

Never reward delayed obedience by reversing the sentence. And, unless all else fails, don’t drag him to the place of cleansing. Part of his training is to come submissively. However, if you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.

The quotes about how every action of a child is willful and sinful and should be punished without mercy are repetitive in the book. Without mercy. The passages about the willful nature of infants are important, because while Pearl says childish mistakes should not be punished, he often contradicts himself. In the chapter on toilet training, he states that no child should be shamed for bodily functions, but he then boasts about stripping naked a toddler and spraying him on the lawn with a hose to clean him when he defecated in a diaper. The ideas of no conditions for surrender combined with a very glib lip service to acknowledging limitations of a child are what led to Lydia Schatz being beaten to death because she repeatedly failed to pronounce a vocabulary word correctly. Lydia, a girl adopted from Liberia, was not a native English-speaker but her mother, a Pearl acolyte, beat her daughter for those vocabulary mistakes without mercy. She felt she had to - Pearl's words made it clear to her that failing to do so would be to give into to the evil, willful nature of a child and threatened the little girl's very soul. She felt she had to beat the willful nature out of her daughter.

There is also an entire chapter that explains that no other punishments work other than striking the child. There is literally no other alternative for Pearl followers who want their children to achieve grace in the Lord than to beat them until their wills break.

Here they explain how to select the instrument to hit the child:

Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain, but the most pain is on the surface of bare skin where the nerves are located. A surface sting will cause sufficient pain, with no injury or bruising. Select your instrument according to the child’s size. For the under one year old, a little, ten- to twelve-inch long, willowy branch (striped of any knots that might break the skin) about one-eighth inch diameter is sufficient. Sometimes alternatives have to be sought. A one-foot ruler, or its equivalent in a paddle, is a sufficient alternative. For the larger child, a belt or larger tree branch is effective.

Later they recommend plumbing line: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... -answered/ Mothers carry it in their purses or wrapped around their necks as a constant, terrorizing reminder of what can happen of a child steps out of line in any way. Pearl laughs at those who condemn his methods: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/news/view/a ... /laughing/

This is where things get even more frightening. The plumbing line can cause severe internal damage without excessive signs on the skin. Children hit with plumbing line are essentially being tenderized like a piece of meat. When a child is subjected to 10 sets of 10 body blows over and over and over, muscle breaks down under the blows, creating small particles that enter the blood stream and clog the nephrons in the kidneys. Once destroyed, the body cannot create new nephrons. This results in a form of kidney failure called rhabdomyolosis. There have been two recorded deaths of children whose parents beat their children using the Pearl method. Please, I implore you, to search for information about Lydia Schatz and Sean Paddock and learn how the Pearl methods caused their deaths. There are other children who have managed to survive the kidney problems, who likely do not even know they have kidney failure in early stages, but who will likely have terrible health issues as they get older.

So the long and the short of it: CHEACT is endorsing a book that advocates whipping infants, pulling babies' hair, permitting tiny children to be in dangerous situations around guns and hot stoves and similar, beating without mercy, beating for all infractions, beating when obedient and beating with such repetition that children are essentially tenderized like a piece of skirt steak until their kidneys fail. I can't imagine this was CHEACT's intent and I beg of your organization to review the Pearl book, analyze the methods and determine if this is really something CHEACT wants to endorse. And, sadly, even if this appeals to the mission of CHEACT, please consider the legal liabilities involved in recommending a book of this ilk.

I appreciate your time and wish you well as you investigate this matter.

Many regards,

Anita Dalton

[Cassandra]

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

We should copy that and send it to every website that advocates this book.

[FundiesInMyFamily]

YES YES YES !!!!

[lilwriter85]

I sent them this e-mail. I wonder how they will respond.

Hello! My name is Anita Dalton and I live in Pflugerville. I am a great champion of homeschooling and applaud your site's efforts to create a cooperative of like-minds as families educate their children.

However, I was shocked and appalled to see that your site recommends Debi and Michael Pearl's book, To Train Up a Child, as a suggested resource. Setting aside the horrific advice that infants as young as six months old should be switched and that older children should be hit with plumbing line without mercy, this book is a legal liability for your site. If a parent were to purchase that book on your recommendation, then beat their child to death because CHEACT endorsed the methods in the book by recommending it, CHEACT could, in some cases, be held liable for harm done to children.

In the event that CHEACT has no idea of the extremity of the content in the book, please allow me to provide some direct quotes and synopses:

Here they discuss beating their eldest daughter when she was an infant. Some may argue that little hits with a stick didn't hurt her but if they didn't, there would be little use in hitting her with a willow twig:

Evidently Debi Pearl pulled the hair of her nursing infants:

They demand dog-like obedience:

They prefer to beat their children rather than baby-proof their home:

Here they recommend hitting a baby who is cranky and cannot sleep:

Here's how they handle a cranky seven-month-old:

Here they recommend beating a toddler until he is completely broken:

Here Pearl explains why a child who obeys should be beaten anyway:

The quotes about how every action of a child is willful and sinful and should be punished without mercy are repetitive in the book. Without mercy. The passages about the willful nature of infants are important, because while Pearl says childish mistakes should not be punished, he often contradicts himself. In the chapter on toilet training, he states that no child should be shamed for bodily functions, but he then boasts about stripping naked a toddler and spraying him on the lawn with a hose to clean him when he defecated in a diaper. The ideas of no conditions for surrender combined with a very glib lip service to acknowledging limitations of a child are what led to Lydia Schatz being beaten to death because she repeatedly failed to pronounce a vocabulary word correctly. Lydia, a girl adopted from Liberia, was not a native English-speaker but her mother, a Pearl acolyte, beat her daughter for those vocabulary mistakes without mercy. She felt she had to - Pearl's words made it clear to her that failing to do so would be to give into to the evil, willful nature of a child and threatened the little girl's very soul. She felt she had to beat the willful nature out of her daughter.

There is also an entire chapter that explains that no other punishments work other than striking the child. There is literally no other alternative for Pearl followers who want their children to achieve grace in the Lord than to beat them until their wills break.

Here they explain how to select the instrument to hit the child:

Later they recommend plumbing line: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/ge ... -answered/ Mothers carry it in their purses or wrapped around their necks as a constant, terrorizing reminder of what can happen of a child steps out of line in any way. Pearl laughs at those who condemn his methods: http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/news/view/a ... /laughing/

This is where things get even more frightening. The plumbing line can cause severe internal damage without excessive signs on the skin. Children hit with plumbing line are essentially being tenderized like a piece of meat. When a child is subjected to 10 sets of 10 body blows over and over and over, muscle breaks down under the blows, creating small particles that enter the blood stream and clog the nephrons in the kidneys. Once destroyed, the body cannot create new nephrons. This results in a form of kidney failure called rhabdomyolosis. There have been two recorded deaths of children whose parents beat their children using the Pearl method. Please, I implore you, to search for information about Lydia Schatz and Sean Paddock and learn how the Pearl methods caused their deaths. There are other children who have managed to survive the kidney problems, who likely do not even know they have kidney failure in early stages, but who will likely have terrible health issues as they get older.

So the long and the short of it: CHEACT is endorsing a book that advocates whipping infants, pulling babies' hair, permitting tiny children to be in dangerous situations around guns and hot stoves and similar, beating without mercy, beating for all infractions, beating when obedient and beating with such repetition that children are essentially tenderized like a piece of skirt steak until their kidneys fail. I can't imagine this was CHEACT's intent and I beg of your organization to review the Pearl book, analyze the methods and determine if this is really something CHEACT wants to endorse. And, sadly, even if this appeals to the mission of CHEACT, please consider the legal liabilities involved in recommending a book of this ilk.

I appreciate your time and wish you well as you investigate this matter.

Many regards,

Anita Dalton

Very good email. I hope they listen. The Pearls are disgusting.

[GenerationCedarchip]

That is a wonderful letter. :clap: I hope they pay attention to the letter because that book really does put forward some dangerous ideas.

And here's another site that could use the letter:

http://www.exploringhomeschooling.com/R ... ading.aspx

NOTE: Several state homeschool associations direct new homeschools to the Exploring Homeschooling site for info and resources.

And another site:

http://www.hfhe.org/Recommended.htm

[lilwriter85]

I think another good idea would be to find the 20/20 episode online about the IFB abuse and send the link to them, that episode did mention one of the Pearl books.

[Love]

GREAT EMAIL! WELL DONE!

[emmiedahl]

I second the high fives. I especially like that you pointed out their liability--that is how organizations think. Also, would it be good to point out that this could be held against the homeschool community and used as justification for more restrictions on homeschooling?

[Hisey]

Great email. So well done.

Did you know that the Duggars recommend the Pearls in the resources section of their first book?

[Mommy22alyns]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! :clap:

[Oddeverything]

Wow.

Just to update, I got a response from CHEACT, and it was very positive on a personal level. I feel uncomfortable sharing the e-mail and the name involved because this person did not give permission to share and likely sent the message under the impression it would be confidential.

However, the person who answered shared that he/she found the book appalling and while he/she does not have any power to change anything, he/she thanked me for sending the e-mail and will bring the matter up to the board and hopefully they will reach similar conclusions about the horrible content in TTUaC. The person also admitted that they had been under the impression that TTUaC was a good book since it was written by "Christians" until a family member read it and shared their disgust. I think this is a common problem, that decent Christians have no idea of the depths of the horror in this book, and on the advice of others recommend it.

Honestly, I did not expect such a prompt, positive response. It's good to remember that these fundies we despair on FJ are hardly representative of the mass of Christians.

Man. Even if the board chooses to keep Pearl on their site, this reaffirmed my faith in mankind a little.

Also, if anyone ever wants to use that e-mail to bring an organization's attention to the real nature of the Pearls, please feel free to use it, word for word if you want. Of course, change the location and since you probably have a different name, change the name, too. :)

[GenerationCedarchip]

I can understand why you wouldn't want to post the email you got, but that's a really reassuring response. I hope they're successful in getting the board to take that book off their recommended list. The thought of people exploring homeschooling stumbling across that on the list and either (a) thinking that's what homeschoolers are all about or worse, (b) trying the methods out of desperation is upsetting.

[Oddeverything]

I can understand why you wouldn't want to post the email you got, but that's a really reassuring response. I hope they're successful in getting the board to take that book off their recommended list. The thought of people exploring homeschooling stumbling across that on the list and either (a) thinking that's what homeschoolers are all about or worse, (b) trying the methods out of desperation is upsetting.

The e-mail was very encouraging. Very polite, very concerned and contained not an ounce of Christianese. So fingers crossed! I think the legal liability of officially recommending that book has to make any cooperative think twice. NGJ Ministry is dangerous but I think so many people in the Christian community assume things about the book, among them:

--that the person who recommended the book actually read it and that their opinion is based on actual interaction with the text

--all Christians are good and if a Christian recommends it, even a "Christian" like a Pearl acolyte, it must be okay

--liberal outrage at the book is ideological in basis as liberals often despise corporal punishment, so all disgust for the book must be from liberals who interpret a light pat on the bottom as the worst sort of abuse

Polite and concerned confrontation may actually work at altering those perceptions. I'm encouraged. I may send out some other e-mails but I don't know if any would have the platform that a Central Texas resident confronting a Central Texas organization has. But it's worth trying.

[GenerationCedarchip]

The e-mail was very encouraging. Very polite, very concerned and contained not an ounce of Christianese. So fingers crossed! I think the legal liability of officially recommending that book has to make any cooperative think twice. NGJ Ministry is dangerous but I think so many people in the Christian community assume things about the book, among them:

--that the person who recommended the book actually read it and that their opinion is based on actual interaction with the text

--all Christians are good and if a Christian recommends it, even a "Christian" like a Pearl acolyte, it must be okay

--liberal outrage at the book is ideological in basis as liberals often despise corporal punishment, so all disgust for the book must be from liberals who interpret a light pat on the bottom as the worst sort of abuse

Polite and concerned confrontation may actually work at altering those perceptions. I'm encouraged. I may send out some other e-mails but I don't know if any would have the platform that a Central Texas resident confronting a Central Texas organization has. But it's worth trying.

Thankfully, the VA homeschoolers don't seem to be touting this stuff, but I'm tempted to email the Exploring Homeschooling site anyway since they seem to be national. Also, I did note that one of the PA homeschooling sites recommends that Pearl-containing list over at Exploring Homeschooling so if anyone in PA wants to chime in, too...

[PhoenixFeathers]

I skimmed your email (when you got to quoting specific passages I had to skip because it makes me physically ill to read).

Just wanted to thank you for writing and sending it. What an encouraging response! Hopefully it makes a difference.

[thoughtful]

Job well done!