Doing research on the Pearls

[forever ago]

Holy shit. :(

http;//mommylife.net/archives/2010/03/michael_and_deb.html

I'd heard of the Pearls before FJ, but now I've decided to do some more research on them. Holy shit, why are these people not in prison? I can't imagine how much therapy their kids need. Beating a baby's hands with a fucking tree branch.... are you fucking kidding me?

I broke the link above, but for those who generally don't read links anyway or don't feel like fixing it at the moment, I'll explain: Kim has decided to give her 3 year old daughter fewer spankings, since she doesn't need them or whatever- and now the child, when caught misbehaving, is terrified and anticipating a beating. What do the Pearls say? "It's a battle of wills, beat her more for being afraid." WTF. Really? It's HUMAN to fear pain. It's not a 'battle of wills' or a child's immaturity, aversion to pain is HUMAN and indeed, even other animals fear pain and avoid it at every chance.

I'm an atheist, and I won't pretend I've read the Bible the whole way through. But I do know of the verse mis-read as "Spare the rod, spoil the child." That in no way means that parents SHOULD spank their children. The Bible doesn't forbid it, no, but does not say that spanking is the best way to discipline children. You know what 'rod' in this case means? Basically it's a shepherd's rod, you know, with that big hook on the end to keep sheep closer. It's discipline, and there is far more to discipline than beating the shit out of a child.

What really bugs me about this whole thing is that the Pearls don't stop to consider WHY a child is misbehaving. Young children are horrible at communication. They haven't learned yet how to express discomfort, or anger, or that they're tired or feeling sick properly, so they cry and fuss. The job of a parent is not to beat them for crying, and then beat them more for crying more. the job of a parents is to figure out why they're crying, and go from there. It's not a 'battle of wills'. Yes, children do get bratty and annoying, but that's no reason to 'switch' them either.

You know what's especially disturbing? That the Pearls compare child-rearing to training animals, like mules. Even animal trainers don't beat the shit out of their charges. The Pearls even say something to the effect of "what's the job of a dog, but to elevate his master?" in the context of child-rearing. Mike and Debi Pearl do not want children; they do not want to go through the effort of raising reasonable, intelligent human beings. They want fucking livestock, and even then those livestock would be really bad off.

[Rhetorica]

Yeah, it's beyond disgusting and creepy. Here's another angle on Youtube:

In short, this guy analyzes on of Michael Pearl's stories about spanking a little girl and points out how it compares with rape narratives.

[contrary]

not to mention all the research proving that positive reinforcement is far better for animal (and child) training.

[Koala]

that is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read.

[fundifugee]

"Spare the rod, spoil the child" is NOT in the Bible, it is a colloquialism.

[Effie]

Awful. Reminds me of this sick lady (from the facebook-group To train up a child, by Michael and Debi Pearl):

Ashley Hansen 13 May 2010 at 01:33:

For those of you who follow this book perhaps you can lend some help. My 21 month old son is just a tough nut to crack! When I spank him he doesn't even cry sometimes. He just doesn't care. He does the opposite of what I say ALL the time. If I say "Get out of the kitchen" he goes farther into the kitchen. I really really need some help. I want to raise a child who is not a brat. I want to raise him in a Godly and well disciplined household. Please help!!

"He is still young, which I realize means we have a lot of training left to do. Thankfully we have guidance and support from our church, the Bible, and books like this to help us find our way."

[Guest Anonymous]

People are just so stupid. IF YOU WANT YOUR BABY TO STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN PUT UP A FUCKIN BABY GATE.

[Koala]

People are just so stupid. IF YOU WANT YOUR BABY TO STAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN PUT UP A FUCKIN BABY GATE.

love your avatar :lol:

[Brainsample]

A great clearing house of info on the Pearls: whynottrainachild.com/

And a free ebook download (critiquing Pearl): scitascienda.com/2011/06/25/review-of-no-greater-joy-child-training-doctrine/

[forever ago]

Yeah, it's beyond disgusting and creepy. Here's another angle on Youtube:

In short, this guy analyzes on of Michael Pearl's stories about spanking a little girl and points out how it compares with rape narratives.

Holy shit, he's right. :(

He makes himself look like a hero, but all you get out of his story is that he's fucking psycho. I really doubt that the little 'butterfly' ran up to him and gave him a hug on her own. That's total bullshit. Where were her parents? Oh right, they're Pearl's converts to child abuse.

Does he not have the strength to pull a 2 year old girl back? Dumbass.

[emmiedahl]

I would like to add 'The Philosophical Baby' to the fundie reading list. It goes over why babies do what they do and the very good biological reasons for it. I wish child development was required in high schools, not that fundies attend them anyway.

[LynnKaboom]

I'll post this as well, since I've been working on it- here's my analysis of several Pearl articles. Quotes are in fuschia, with my commentary in between. I feel kind of bad promoting my own work here, but I'm working on trying to deconstruct the Pearls' teachings. Just in case anyone ever comes across my blog and sees these, maybe they will think twice about following their advice.

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/26532.html

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/32868.html

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/36666.html

[Witsec6]

These people are major triggers for me, and I wasn't even abused as a child. I think they are both sadists who get sexual pleasure from inflicting pain. It is absolutely disgusting.

[forever ago]

I'll post this as well, since I've been working on it- here's my analysis of several Pearl articles. Quotes are in fuschia, with my commentary in between. I feel kind of bad promoting my own work here, but I'm working on trying to deconstruct the Pearls' teachings. Just in case anyone ever comes across my blog and sees these, maybe they will think twice about following their advice.

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/26532.html

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/32868.html

http://goeskaboom.insanejournal.com/36666.html

Good analysis.

Gotta love how they're all "you can call us sociopaths but WE'RE STILL BETTER THAN YOU." Just... wow. They are utter sadistic sociopaths.

[Patsy]

Yeah, it's beyond disgusting and creepy. Here's another angle on Youtube:

In short, this guy analyzes on of Michael Pearl's stories about spanking a little girl and points out how it compares with rape narratives.

Haven't looked at the video, and I find the Pearl stories and descriptions of exactly how to crush your child distressing, so I probably won't, but: that similarity is something I've had in the back of my mind for a while, but I don't think I've ever expressed it (I guess because maybe it says something about me *shrug* I dunno).

I would like to add 'The Philosophical Baby' to the fundie reading list. It goes over why babies do what they do and the very good biological reasons for it. I wish child development was required in high schools, not that fundies attend them anyway.

Had never heard of this book, and it sounds interesting. I'll look it up, thanks for recommending it.

[Artemis]

I couldn't finish listening to that video it was too triggering . . . :(