Why do these women overshare?

[2xx1xy1JD]

This is a general question about women like Cheryl and Lori.

Yes, I know they say that they want to use their experiences to inspire others.

In the process, though, they have revealed an incredible amount of personal information. They post photos. They air tons of dirty laundry.

I'm not a huge fan of dishonesty or sweeping everything under the rug....but if you had issues and you genuinely worked through them with your spouse and resolved them, why are you posting all the gory details for the world to see? How is that respectful to your spouse, or healthy for your marriage and family?

I've said it before, but I suspect some real passive-aggressive tendencies here. If you say that your husband has a "king" personality and must always be in command, or that he NEEDS to always be right, or that you were enraged at him for repeatedly cheating on you and killing your dog until Jesus made you forgive him, you are basically telling the world, "my husband is a complete asshole". The fact that you are advising other women to pray a lot and suck it up doesn't change that fact.

Also - why would you share intimate details of your life with the rest of the world, and then get upset when someone comments on them? You put it out there in the first place! No, not everyone is going to agree with your decisions. If something is not up for discussion....don't discuss it.

[dawbs]

I think that it adds to the martyr need they have.

I mean, I haven't told my sisters all the ups and downs my husband and I have had. Because I love my husband and I love my sisters and...my sisters would take my side--I might forgive him for being a jackwagon last week, but my sisters may not. (hell, my baby sis has forgiven her abusive crackhead ex. I haven't. If that guy ran into me in a dark ally, he may leave w/o his scrotum).

But if I told them all the worst things, with the worst spin (and PRETENDED it was the best spin), I could play the "see, woe is me, see how much I put up with, aren't I longsuffering? yay, crown of thorns = jewels in heaven!" card.

(and it would be really bad for their relationship w/ the Mr. and my relationship w/ the Mr.)

[Arete]

I'm going to go with they love being martyrs as well. Passive-aggressive bullshit is just a way for them to get to that prize. Think about it- your at home, no friends of your OWN, no job of your own, no interests of your own, no real identity that is only yours- only so and so's mother, wife etc. Their martyrdom, no matter how sick it is to the rest of the world, is one identity that belongs only to them.

[MamaJunebug]

It may have to do with the celebrity culture we live in. Even those these ladies would deny watching reality TV or entertainment-centered news [sic] shows, they certainly hear enough stories on FotF and see plenty of books in Christian [sic] bookstores exposing a variety of stories of lives that have been redeemed.

They may enjoy the atteniton.

They may also sincerely feel that their stories will inspire others to find happiness as they did.

Each to her own. I'm giving serious thought to beginning a blog, but even there I plan to be as anonymous as possible - if I do it at all.

[itsnikki05]

It may have to do with the celebrity culture we live in. Even those these ladies would deny watching reality TV or entertainment-centered news [sic] shows, they certainly hear enough stories on FotF and see plenty of books in Christian [sic] bookstores exposing a variety of stories of lives that have been redeemed.

They may enjoy the atteniton.

They may also sincerely feel that their stories will inspire others to find happiness as they did.

Each to her own. I'm giving serious thought to beginning a blog, but even there I plan to be as anonymous as possible - if I do it at all.

Yup. I completely agree. I guess... whatever, ya know? I guess it makes them feel important. Or gives them something to do.

I've thought of starting a blog but quite frankly don't want the world, and my family, to know what I do every single moment of the day. I like the ones that focus on a specific thing, like crafts or food... but not the intensely personal ones as much. I honestly don't care that much about a stranger's life. KWIM? I don't "get" it. I don't "get" reality (or "reality") TV either. *shrug*

[theologygeek]

This is a general question about women like Cheryl and Lori.

Yes, I know they say that they want to use their experiences to inspire others.

In the process, though, they have revealed an incredible amount of personal information. They post photos. They air tons of dirty laundry.

I'm not a huge fan of dishonesty or sweeping everything under the rug....but if you had issues and you genuinely worked through them with your spouse and resolved them, why are you posting all the gory details for the world to see? How is that respectful to your spouse, or healthy for your marriage and family?

I've said it before, but I suspect some real passive-aggressive tendencies here. If you say that your husband has a "king" personality and must always be in command, or that he NEEDS to always be right, or that you were enraged at him for repeatedly cheating on you and killing your dog until Jesus made you forgive him, you are basically telling the world, "my husband is a complete asshole". The fact that you are advising other women to pray a lot and suck it up doesn't change that fact.

Also - why would you share intimate details of your life with the rest of the world, and then get upset when someone comments on them? You put it out there in the first place! No, not everyone is going to agree with your decisions. If something is not up for discussion....don't discuss it.

Who else do they have to talk to? One common theme in fundie blogs is that they don't mention what they do with their friends. They fellowship every now and then with a family from church, but you don't see them posting about their marathon phone calls with their friends, or going out with their friends. I talk to my best friends every day, so there is no need to tell the internet that I had sex last night. I didn't btw, but I wish I did. These women don't get out much.

[MamaJunebug]

Who else do they have to talk to? One common theme in fundie blogs is that they don't mention what they do with their friends. They fellowship every now and then with a family from church, but you don't see them posting about their marathon phone calls with their friends, or going out with their friends. I talk to my best friends every day, so there is no need to tell the internet that I had sex last night. I didn't btw, but I wish I did. These women don't get out much.

Bing-to-the-O!!!! They're lonesome! Good observation.

[JesusFightClub]

I'm in the process of writing a book, and trying to get accepted to do paid writing for various websites, so I get it. Some days, you have to show your metaphorical tits. Some days you have to let people fondle them.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I get that some people may enjoy attention and writing.

My favorite non-fundie overshare is a total riot:

http://kveller.com/parent/down-and-dirt ... ator.shtml

Like I said....not a fundie :)

I think that oversharing about other people, though, is something else, especially when it's your family that you supposedly love so much. Sexy stuff is at least funny. The fact that your husband is a super-control freak or that he killed your dog? Not so much.

[pixydust]

I get that some people may enjoy attention and writing.

My favorite non-fundie overshare is a total riot:

http://kveller.com/parent/down-and-dirt ... ator.shtml

Like I said....not a fundie :)

I think that oversharing about other people, though, is something else, especially when it's your family that you supposedly love so much. Sexy stuff is at least funny. The fact that your husband is a super-control freak or that he killed your dog? Not so much.

OMG, I'm going to have to start reading that blog!!! :lol:

[lilwriter85]

I've been following Lori's blog quite a bit lately. She is a nitwit. I think she overshares stuff in order to get praise from her fangirls. She also tries to have a martyr complex which her fangirls buy into. The non-fangirl readers of Lori's blog see that she is an asshole who uses her chronic problems to control her family. She shared a story about how her daughter and dad didn't make or get the food that she wanted when she was ill. If I was Lori's daughter, I would have been embarrassed by having a mom whining about how I didn't make soup the way she wanted it.

[Rosa]

Who else do they have to talk to? One common theme in fundie blogs is that they don't mention what they do with their friends. They fellowship every now and then with a family from church, but you don't see them posting about their marathon phone calls with their friends, or going out with their friends. I talk to my best friends every day, so there is no need to tell the internet that I had sex last night. I didn't btw, but I wish I did. These women don't get out much.

This. They don't have real life friends. Either because their abusive husbands have driven them away, or because they aren't good friend material to start with, or because everyone in their life has said "I can't hear this anymore unless you start with 'i have decided to leave my church and marriage...'"

[jesssnerch]

OMG, I'm going to have to start reading that blog!!! :lol:

That was hilarious and I love the way she writes!

[Arete]

That was hilarious and I love the way she writes!

I've bookmarked. There is all kinds of awesome in these posts. Thanks 2xx1xy1JD! :mrgreen:

[Mela99]

I think it's a religious thing. Confess everything so people won't think they're hiding anything.

[ElphabaGalinda]

They do it because they're very unhappy with their lives and they need to try and convince the world that they're happy so maybe they can convince themselves. They also do it so it seems like they have friends. Instead of openly doubting their life choices they give all these details about how wonderful their life is to try to justify it all.