Lori Alexander 15: Leaving A Fire With Her Makeup Bag

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

How old are Lori's grandchildren? I thought the oldest was 3, 4 at the mos,t and that 2 of them were babies?  Are they actually old enough to know the snake story?  I doubt her toddler grandson is old enough to understand the don't moan, but suffer in silence admonition.

I wonder if Lori breaks out the trusty leather strap when she watches the grandchildren? Even money that she does  -- and uses it.

[Koala]

I hope the parents realize the price those poor kids pay for their "me time".

Lori doesn't want to be bothered with her grandchildren anymore than she wanted to be bothered with her children.

Who the hell tells a toddler to "suffer in silence", or tries to make little kids think God will send snakes to bite them if they complain?

 

[mango_fandango]

Yeesh. She looks horrible and nasty. Do any of you ever look at someone and get a weird feeling about them? Like you feel uneasy? Obviously some people just have Resting Bitch Face and are nice people, but some turn out to be nasty. It's like that quote from The Twits by Roald Dahl about ugly thoughts making your face uglier and uglier over time.

[Imrlgoddess]

What gets to me is the giggles while she's describing what she says to the children & why. That's just sinister to me. "I scare the crap out of babies to get them to listen & they're so cute when they acquiesce!" 

[Sobeknofret]

How old is Lori? I can't remember

[Koala]

Mid to late fifties. 

[crawfishgirl]

I think she's 58, though her skin makes her look like she's at least in her mid-60's.  One time she said it was because of the California sun, but I think that's a cop-out.  I live near the gulf coast and also experience intense sun, but that's why I wear sunscreen and try to stay out of the sun around noon and early afternoon.  Someone mentioned that Lori has said in the past that she doesn't like sunscreen because of the chemicals.  Well, it shows.  Since she seems to be a vain person, I wonder if she often went to the beach to tan when she was younger, and that the lack of sunscreen at that time has really caught up with her.  I am only a few years younger than her, but my skin looks at least 20 years behind hers.  

[AlwaysDiscerning]

How does someone so insistent on staying at home get out in the California sun anyway? Probably damage was done when she was younger, back in those short "short" wearing days. 

[usmcmom]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

I hope the parents realize the price those poor kids pay for their "me time".

Lori doesn't want to be bothered with her grandchildren anymore than she wanted to be bothered with her children.

Who the hell tells a toddler to "suffer in silence", or tries to make little kids think God will send snakes to bite them if they complain?

 

I highly doubt the parents give a flying fig what those kids go through at Grandma's house. Remember this is the "good daddy" who made his (apparently hungry)  baby daughter scream on a blanket while he and his wife ate supper. Then another time he force fed her as she screamed and was NOT hungry. All this, of course, was going on while "good mommy" sat by and went along with this horrific treatment of her baby. 

This couple now has three children and, while I normally celebrate the arrival of a new baby, I felt sick at the announcement of each new child in that home. 

[Koala]

Lori has (again) clarified her position on women divorcing a physically abusive husband.

Reader:

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so may i ask though, if a husband is physically abusive, the wife should stay married to him even if they are separated and then they can try to reconcile if he seeks help and forgiveness? or if even if he doesn't the woman should stay married to him to uphold her marriage vows?

Lori:

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Yes, according to biblical principles because she is a covenant keeper.

I guess being a "covenant keeper" trumps all.  Even if it means you're a "beaten black and blue convent keeper".  Or worse.  

Over the span of the last 2 days, 2 women in my city have been killed by their abusive spouses/partners. That's just the ones I heard about.  Their families?  They don't give a shit about "covenants". They don't give a shit about the salvation of the men who sit in jail for shooting their daughters.   The don't give a shit what a rich, spoiled, ignorant woman thinks. They're too busy...they have funerals to plan.  

But, The Godly Mentor doesn't allow for divorcing an abusive spouse, and I guess to disagree with her would be to disagree with God. <---scathing sarcasm.  

That woman makes me sick.

[Gemini]

As soon as she gets her pjs on, My Granddaughter (aged 2) runs to me and asks for nommies (anything yummy). She's not hungry, it's a delaying bed tactic, and I find it adorably cute and somehow always seem to fall for it.... 

I then fix her a snack and we either read a story or have a chat whilst she eats. It's become a bedtime ritual and one I hope she will look back on with fond memories one day.

These moments are a such a privilege to me!  Im sure that Lori the monster would say that im being manipulated by an naughty child, but in truth I get to spend precious moments with this tiny, beautiful, perfect little human Bean who will, all too soon, be grown up and no longer want to hang out.

Lori's lack of compassion and love towards her grandkids is the biggest red flag to me. I have a number of friends whose parents weren't the greatest when they were growing up, but most will agree that they make wonderful grandparents to their kids. It's like a second chance, to right all the wrongs. To have fun rather than rules. 

Lori however, doesn't delight in her grandchildren, but rather in the ability to control  and inflict pain and suffering in the next generation of victims. 

She must have totally done a number on her son, that he thinks that starving or force feeding a baby is acceptable behaviour. And what the hell was that baby's mother thinking? 

Lori is going to die bitter and twisted, with no heart warming memories. But what's worse is her grandkids will have nothing but horror stories when they think of her. What an awful but well deserved legacy. 

 

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

In talking about the story Lori referenced in her post from Gary Thomas:

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“A young wife, barely in her 20s, held a baby in a blanket and looked at me with tears. Her husband has a huge temper problem. He’s made her get out of the car on a highway with her baby, twice. ‘But both times he came back for us,’ she said in his defense when I looked absolutely appalled. They were separated and she was living with her parents. She wanted to know if she should take him back because his psychiatrist supposedly said there wasn’t anything really wrong with him. Her husband doesn’t think he has a problem, that, in fact, the problem is with her ‘lack of forgiveness.'”

this is Lori's response to a commenter:

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"I agree, Taylor, and she shouldn’t live with him again until he deals with and repents of his anger. I would also encourage her to become a godly woman as 1 Peter 3:1-6 describes."

So, like the story says, the husband thinks its not his anger problem but that his wife has a lack of forgiveness problem and Lori basically agrees with that. Clearly, if this woman became a godly woman she would forgive her husband's temper and all would be well!! IF she were godly maybe she wouldn't have been kicked out of the car in the first place. 

[Coy Koi]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

In talking about the story Lori referenced in her post from Gary Thomas:

this is Lori's response to a commenter:

So, like the story says, the husband thinks its not his anger problem but that his wife has a lack of forgiveness problem and Lori basically agrees with that. Clearly, if this woman became a godly woman she would forgive her husband's temper and all would be well!! IF she were godly maybe she wouldn't have been kicked out of the car in the first place. 

Abuse isn't an anger problem anyway. An abuser may also have an anger problem, but that's not what is driving the abuse, and addressing any anger problem won't end the abuse (although it could possibly change the way it manifests). "Losing control of your temper" is a TOOL of abuse. It's not the cause. These people have no fucking clue what they're talking about.

[onemama]

Ok, Lori chose to focus only on divorce and how wrong it is, but she completely missed the point of the article. Of course. 

Gary Thomas says:

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When she told me what was happening, I quickly corrected her. “If the cost of saving a marriage is destroying a woman, the cost is too high. God loves people more than he loves institutions.”

Lori places the institution above the people involved.  She places the Sabbath above men, although the Sabbath was made for men, and not the other way around. Jesus said that:    Mark 2: 27And he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."

Gary says:

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When a young man is so immature he puts his wife’s and baby’s life in danger on a highway (amongst other things), the thought that we’re worried about the “appropriateness” of divorce shows that our loyalties are with human institutions, not the divine will.

And he explains what Jesus said about divorce:

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Jesus said what he said about divorce to protect women, not to imprison them. Divorce was a weapon foisted against women in the first century, not one they could use, and it almost always left them destitute if their family of origin couldn’t or wouldn’t step up.

And he questions Lori's use of 1st Peter 3, which, incidentally, doesn't stop with instructions for the wives. There are also instructions for the husbands that she, Ken and company don't seem to know exist. 

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How does it honor the concept of “Christian marriage” to enforce the continuance of an abusive, destructive relationship that is slowly squeezing all life and joy out of a woman’s soul? Our focus has to be on urging men to love their wives like Christ loves the church, not on telling women to put up with husbands mistreating their wives like Satan mistreats us. We should confront and stop the work of Satan, not enable it.

Lori misuses Scripture.  Women can't save their husbands and no amount of staying and submitting to a husband who mistreats her will ever make him change.  He won't.  Especially if he calls himself a Christian.  

Those verses Lori like so much were instructions for women married to unbelieving husbands. No amount of nagging would make these men see their need for Jesus, but a loving wife who respected him, honored him and continued living with him as a wife did in that culture, could show him the light of the Gospel without any words.  That behavior could also save her life because she was choosing to disobey her husband and not worship his gods.

Gary says:

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Jesus says there are “levels” of love, and times when one loyalty must rise over another. Our loyalty to marriage is good and noble and true. But when loyalty to a relational structure allows evil to continue it is a false loyalty, even an evil loyalty.

 

Michael Pearl, whom Lori loves to listen to and quote, says that the "chain of command" is so important that we must uphold it even if perceived authority is being misused.  In ohter words, it's worse for a wife to stand up to her husband than for him to beat her up or otherwise abuse her. It's worse for a child to rebell than for a parent to abuse a child.  

Dave (or was it Trey?) said that "eve if things get ugly" a wife should keep applying the cure-all remedy of 1st Peter 3.  Is that God's heart for wives?  And why are men being allowed to demand submission and obedience from their wives? Why is there no mention of how men should honor and love their wives?

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Christian leaders and friends, we have to see that some evil men are using their wives’ Christian guilt and our teaching about the sanctity of marriage as a weapon to keep harming them. I can’t help feeling that if more women started saying, “This is over” and were backed up by a church that enabled them to escape instead of enabling the abuse to continue, other men in the church, tempted toward the same behavior, might finally wake up and change their ways.

This is something Lori's male followers, Dalrock and other so-called "Christian" MRAs should hear:

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Let men realize that behavior has consequences, and that wives are supposed to be cherished, not used, not abused, and never treated as sexual playthings. If a man wants the benefit and companionship of a good woman, let him earn it, and re-earn it, and let him know it can be lost.

But all this is lost on Lori and her friends. Of course they don't get the point. They simply don't consider women worthy of honor or respect. They spend too much time searching Scripture for proof that women are inferior to men. They are just like the pharisees of Jesus' day.  

[Hisey]

6 hours ago, Gemini said:

As soon as she gets her pjs on, My Granddaughter (aged 2) runs to me and asks for nommies (anything yummy). She's not hungry, it's a delaying bed tactic, and I find it adorably cute and somehow always seem to fall for it.... 

I then fix her a snack and we either read a story or have a chat whilst she eats. It's become a bedtime ritual and one I hope she will look back on with fond memories one day.

These moments are a such a privilege to me!  Im sure that Lori the monster would say that im being manipulated by an naughty child, but in truth I get to spend precious moments with this tiny, beautiful, perfect little human Bean who will, all too soon, be grown up and no longer want to hang out.

Lori's lack of compassion and love towards her grandkids is the biggest red flag to me. I have a number of friends whose parents weren't the greatest when they were growing up, but most will agree that they make wonderful grandparents to their kids. It's like a second chance, to right all the wrongs. To have fun rather than rules. 

Lori however, doesn't delight in her grandchildren, but rather in the ability to control  and inflict pain and suffering in the next generation of victims. 

She must have totally done a number on her son, that he thinks that starving or force feeding a baby is acceptable behaviour. And what the hell was that baby's mother thinking? 

Lori is going to die bitter and twisted, with no heart warming memories. But what's worse is her grandkids will have nothing but horror stories when they think of her. What an awful but well deserved legacy. 

 

 

I know! Most grandmas would be upset with their son for putting their precious granddaughter on the floor, and letting her sit there screaming. "She's just hungry! It's good that she wants to eat your food! Just feed her while you eat, or give her a bottle till you are ready to feed her."  That's what a normal grandparent would say (or at least think).

Not Lori. She not only approves of that behavior, she brags about it. Lori reported gleefully that Emma screamed during her first week of being sat on the floor during meals, then sobbed for the second. How could she tolerate hearing about her first and only grandbaby (there were no others at the time) being treated that way? It's insane.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

3 hours ago, onemama said:

"...the thought that we’re worried about the “appropriateness” of divorce shows that our loyalties are with human institutions, not the divine will."

Wouldn't Lori and crew say though that marriage is God's design and invention and not a human institution? They are always on about creating a marriage "as God intended". Yet its funny how they feel they need to have the human institution/invention of a government marriage certificate to make it real. 

All the Gary quotes are great. I think about how thankfully he represents mainstream Christianity and people like Lori are really on the fringe, but then again she seems to have a decent following and I think of the damage that can cause. 

Dave left a long comment about the D word...D being divorce, doom and disease! Don't know if he realizes his name is also the "D" word. 

[Showtunesgirl]

@onemama Yes!!! So much yes! Thank you for sharing that. We went over Matt. 14-15 yesterday for Bible study, and in it is the passage where Jesus calls out the Pharisees and scribes on their hypocrisy and of voiding the spirit of God's law with man-made tradition. He concludes about them:

Quote

8 “‘This people honors me with their lips,
    but their heart is far from me;
9 in vain do they worship me,
    teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’" 

-Matthew 15:8-9

As for her blog post, like Lori's biblical interpretations, she takes the quotes out of context. I've also noticed that she seems to think 1 Peter 3:1-6 is the solution to every marital problem, and that 1 Cor. 13 is always used against wives to argue that they're not being loving enough, but not as a standard for the husbands' love for their wives. Furthermore, 1 Cor. 13 isn't about marriage specifically anyways, not that it shouldn't apply to marriage but I point that out as evidence of misinterpretation/misapplication on her part to use it in a one-sided way.  Lastly, because this just registered in my brain, the suffering in 1 Peter 4 is talking about persecution for being a follower of Christ, NOT because a spouse is being abusive. 

[KDA]

20 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Wouldn't Lori and crew say though that marriage is God's design and invention and not a human institution? They are always on about creating a marriage "as God intended". Yet its funny how they feel they need to have the human institution/invention of a government marriage certificate to make it real. 

 

I'm sure I read on Michael Pearl's blog about his daughter's marriage that they didn't have a government-recognised wedding, and no marriage certificate. Something to do with in the future (which I guess is now) when same-sex marriage became legal, he didn't want his children to have the same type of marriage as "perverts". 

I'll try and find a link. I could be wrong, my memory is foggy.

[onemama]

59 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Wouldn't Lori and crew say though that marriage is God's design and invention and not a human institution? They are always on about creating a marriage "as God intended"

And they would be right. I think Gary let it slip there when he called marriage a "human institution".  I believe it was instituded by God, and that he takes it very seriously, yet Jesus said we should "do good on the Sabbath" and that "the Sabbath is made for man, not man for the Sabbath".  The Sabbath was also created by God, for humans. Like marriage.  

The pharisees elevated laws above people and Jesus accused them of being hypocrites, even though they knew the law well, because they didn't practice it and used it to place heavy burdens on their followers. 

@Showtunesgirl, thank you. You reminded me of the passage in Matthew 23, especially these words: "For they preach, but do not practice. 4They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,a and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger"

In Isaiah 58, where the prophet talks about fasting he says: “Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?"

I think we should be angry at injustice, and keeping spouses in abusive situations is oppressive. God cared about people being destroyed by oppression and called us to break every yoke. 

48 minutes ago, KDA said:

I'm sure I read on Michael Pearl's blog about his daughter's marriage that they didn't have a government-recognised wedding, and no marriage certificate. Something to do with in the future (which I guess is now) when same-sex marriage became legal, he didn't want his children to have the same type of marriage as "perverts". 

I'll try and find a link. I could be wrong, my memory is foggy.

I think that would be somewhere in his article about Shoshanna's wedding. 

[Coy Koi]

I just want to say that if ANYONE who is reading this, whether you are a regular part of our community or someone who follows Lori and did some googling and ended up here (or anything in between), if you are feeling hurt and confused and upset about how your relationship is going, but you don't know why, please please please just read this book: Why Does He Do That?

I love to read and I read all the time. This is the only book I've ever put any effort into getting people to read! I think most everyone could benefit from reading this book, but especially anyone who thinks maybe, just maybe, it might apply to them in some way. Feel free to PM me and I will make sure you are able to access it.

And if you're reading this post a year or more from now, know that the offer still stands. I've been a strong advocate of this book for many years now and I won't be stopping soon. I first read it over a decade ago and I still draw on it regularly for strength.

[Koala]

2 hours ago, onemama said:

The pharisees elevated laws above people and Jesus accused them of being hypocrites, even though they knew the law well, because they didn't practice it and used it to place heavy burdens on their followers. 

@Showtunesgirl, thank you. You reminded me of the passage in Matthew 23, especially these words: "For they preach, but do not practice. 4They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear,a and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger"

 

I think that would be somewhere in his article about Shoshanna's wedding. 

That fits Lori so perfectly.  She puts women under laws that she would have never subjected herself to, and when they find the evidence (like the picture of the nanny who held her crying child for "hours a day") she just deletes it and doubles down on how children prefer their mothers over nannies.

Same with cooking.  She posts all.the.time. about women cooking nutritious meals for their families, yet when you read "Ken's Side of the Story" you find out that Ken did the cooking, and Lori only offered her children Big Salads.  Even the other day she slipped up and said, "Ken just came downstairs to make his breakfast".  Her big concession?  She smiled at him. 

Can you imagine the tongue lashing she'd have given a reader who spent time making "Youtubes" while her husband made his own breakfast before work? 

Lori likes to brag about what a great mom she was, but she beat her kids with a leather strap and created serious issues with her obsessive control of their food/weight.  Now she's moved on to terrorizing the next generation, telling toddlers to "suffer in silence" (like she ever would), and telling little kids that God will send snakes to bite them if they complain.

I am the type of person who can find value in almost anyone.  Most people have something good about them.  Lori...she is just a cruel person.  I can't even see anything else.

[Koala]

Her blog post today is supposedly a letter from a reader.  I won't bore you with the details, but it's basically how women are just tools in the hands of Satan.  

It's funny though...the writer seems to love who Lori loves, and hate who Lori hates.

The interesting parts:

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I came across a blog posting on “Why Your Pastor Should Say ‘No More to Beth Moore.” 

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I appreciated your response on the blog to Tami. VERY sad to say, but her thoughts speak pretty much for the majority of women in the Church today who would call themselves genuine believers! 

What's really sad, is that a "genuine believer" doesn't realize that a blog post is a completely inappropriate place to handle a disagreement with a fellow believer.  What's really sad, is that a "genuine believer" is gossiping on the net, to illustrate how godly she is.  What's really sad, is the "if you disagree with me, I'll call your salvation into question" mentality.  

But I'm an Atheist...what do I know?

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I like very much the in-put of “Dave.” 

See Ken?  Women like Dave's in-put!  If nothing else, they thrive on hearing him tell your wife how beautiful she is.  How dare you question him, amiright?

Funny how such a submissive woman (Lori) totally dismisses her husband's concerns.  Ken has never liked Dave, but Lori has him right up on the pedestal.  If you squint, you can see him...way, way, way above Ken. 

When Ken suggested that she would have edited or deleted his comment if it'd been from anyone else, Lori totally ignored him.  Dave's comments continued, and Ken wasn't allowed to didn't say another word.  Now that I think of it, maybe Lori was deleting Ken's comments.  

I bet "Dave" has been the subject of some rather heated arguments at Ken and Lori's (tidy, but not spotless) place.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

34 minutes ago, Koala said:

"I like very much the in-put of “Dave.” 

I just popped on to comment on exactly that part. It all seems a bit suspicious the timing. A few people commented and of course the chatter here about why is it necessary to have men commenting on her blog. Then she just so happens to get a letter reinforcing her points, that having the male point of view is good so women can learn how men can think. That is what the author is agreeing too.  The writing style of the letter doesn't sound like Lori wrote it herself, but it is very suspicious.  Its like a big FU from Lori saying "see other women love having Dave here, so take that"

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori  (and Dave and Ken and all the other MRAs) seem to think that everyone gets married with the attitude that 'oh well we can always get divorced later'  Yes of course divorce is a fact, but people get married assuming it will be forever. Unfortunately this doesn't always happen.

Most couples I know are sticking out their marriages, even the ones who are in unhappy, miserable, unloving ones.  I know very few divorced couples.  The ones who are divorced have definite reasons  -- let's just say it's not 'we had a fight and I want out':   Wife left the husband for another woman,  Husband dropped wife and newborn son off at home, picked up his suitcase, walked out the door and disappeared. -- wife had to hire a PI to find him in order to divorce him after 5 years-- she waited hoping he would come back.  Husband announced one day he was tired of being a husband/father and left -- and wife spent 10 years chasing him down through the courts to get the divorce finalized.  

These are the people LoriDaveKen want to condemn to the limbo of married, but not. Condemned to be tied to someone who very definitely doesn't want you and isn't going to return - ever. The spouse who left isn't going to be miserable ... but the other one sure will be as they are married and rejected and left alone.

LoriDaveKen really want people to lead miserable lives -- they get off on knowing others are unhappy.  They revel in it. Maybe because their own lives are so awful.  Misery does love company.

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

    Trey says:    
March 1, 2017 at 6:26 am

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Wow! This woman sees this issue with crystal clarity. Serious wisdom displayed in her rational argument laid out above. So refreshing! Let those with an ear hear…..

Excellent letter anonymous! Excellent post Lori!

 

Reply    Lori Alexander says:    
    March 1, 2017 at 7:22 am

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    She is most likely going to begin blogging and I will sure let all of you know when she does!

 

Oh goody!!